Blair.

As she scrolls down her timeline, her mouth starts to gape and her cheeks flush red.
Who knew Humphrey had it in him?
She wasn't exactly expecting him to accept her apology with open arms,
but she did expect him to tell her that everything was okay.
Like he had always done for her before.
But what she got, was not what she expected at all.
She had no idea he could be so bitter.
She takes the flask out of her bedside table and pours the liquor down her throat.
When did I get so bad at this?
But she's never exactly known when to follow her head or follow her heart.
She thought Chuck was her heart's decision.
But now she thinks it wasn't so.
It was just,
familiar.
It was the same old, same old thing that she was used to.
She didn't have to broach new territory with him.
It was all old news.
It was comfortable to her.
But it isn't what she needed.
She needed to be challenged,
to be corrected when she was wrong,
to be supported when she was weak,
to be loved when she least deserved it.
Chuck never did any of that.
He loved her when it was convenient for him.
He supported her when she was doing what everyone else thought she should do.
And she thought that was love.
Until Dan Humphrey came along.
Maybe that's why she was so scared of being in love with him.
It was strange waters and she didn't know how to navigate them.
Here was someone who loved literature and foreign films just as much as she did.
Someone who had the same work ethic she did.
Someone who put his friends and family before himself: loyal. Like her.
He fought for what he thought was right.
But he never held grudges or was bitter about seemingly losing something.
That was what she really admired about him.
It was something that he had taught her along the way.
She remembers something he once told her while they were seeing foreign flicks together.

"Humphrey, I don't understand the point of this movie. Yes, she's a beautiful girl.
But is she just going to let the other girl beat her? She looks weak."
"Not everything is a game, Blair. And she's not weak for letting go. She's strong for moving on."

She doesn't know why, but that always stuck with her.
And look where it's gotten her now.
She let go and hurt the one person who she trusted more than anyone in this crazy, mixed-up world she found herself tied up in.
And now she couldn't even move on.
He was everywhere.
Every time she closes her eyes, she sees his curly muppet hair and his boyish smile.
She sees him.
And she swears she's never seen so much plaid in her life.
She takes down another gulp of alcohol.
It sickens her.
The plaid, not the alcohol.
But it also gives her that pitter patter in her chest.
And she realizes how much she regrets choking down the urge to tell him she loved him when he had told her.
Stupid, stupid, Blair. Always trying to have the upper hand. Stupid control freak.
She puts her head down on her desk and lets out a sigh of frustration.
Fine, you know what? Fine. If he doesn't want me then fine. I don't want him either.
Stupid, stupid, me for thinking that the one person I actually cared about would forgive me.
And not be such a royal ass. Stupid fucking Blair.
I just have to remember how I used to feel about him.
"The only thing lamer than dating Dan Humphrey is mourning Dan Humphrey."
Right?

She pulls up her Tumblr, knowing he'll be posting anonymous articles on being a pretentious writer from Brooklyn turned best-selling author right about now. Ass.
She empties the contents of the flask and throws it to the side.
She starts a new post.

New Post, BWaldorfUES

Title: To whom it may concern:

I don't know if you're reading this, or if you even care anymore.
But I did love you, you know.
And I thought you would have understood my hesitation seeing as my last relationship was one of emotional abuse and manipulation. I thought you would get it.
I have a hard time saying how I truly feel.
I thought you understood that.
I thought you understood me.
So here you go: I loved you.
But you pushed me into a corner.
You gave me an ultimatum and I had to run.
That's what wild things do.
So yes, I ran.
But you know what?
I still loved you.
Obviously you were the stronger person for getting over me so fast.
I've seen all the pictures of you and all these girls splattered on Gossip Girl.
I hope you're having fun.
It's not like I care anymore.
I loved you.
It's over.
It's gone.
I'm done.
And so are we.

Post.

She closes her laptop and pushes it off her bed.
She doesn't care anymore.
If he can be reckless and not give a shit, then she can too.
She'll show him just how good she is at moving on.
She'll show him.
He's going to regret ever making Blair Waldorf love him.
And she would make damn sure of that.
But not before she spent the night crying over what could have been.

Hey!
I'm sorry this one is so short.
But I actually just checked word count and it's the longest one I've put out.
It just feels short to me.
It's probably the angst.
Yeah, that's it.
I just had to get another chapter out.
I need to please you people.
And I'm glad everyone is ready for me to angst the shit out of this story.
Because I'm planning on making you all hate Blair and Dan at the same time and then fall in love with them again, maybe.
Like I said, angsty shit right here.
So tell me how I'm doing.
Review!

You know I love you.