Chapter 3: Suppress

Aki blinked as water splashed on her face, her eyes focusing on the cream coloured double faceted sink. Staring blankly at the rectangular mirror bathed in a warm, yellow light, she once again felt the floor sway beneath her feet.

Pale eyes and hair clashed with the brown and black in her memories. The man standing beside her with furrowed brows, cleaning her vomit and gently wiping her face with the fluffy towels did not match the severe looking, strict man either. She couldn't identify the smell of the soap, but it definitely wasn't the lavender one she used to love.

But the most jarring part of the whole thing was her size.

She was tiny. Little. Small.

Like a . . . like a preschooler small.

Sucking in a shaky breath, she turned with eyes wide to face the man- Papa, her new memories insisted-who had just asked her a question softly, as if not to startle her. She couldn't- didn't- want to understand the words, the language which was not hers, the house which was not hers, the body which didn't belong to her.

Suffice it to say, crying babies were in no way adorable.

The soft murmurs of assurance and the gentle motion of her back being rubbed in soothing circles somehow lulled her sobs to sniffles (she was totally blaming her new body for the cry fest, usually she waited till she was alone to let the waterworks to start) and she finally allowed herself to be carried back to the bedroom (another reminder of her alien presence).

As she was placed back on her bed after a change of clothes, she tried to remember the last time she felt so much out of her element.

So utterly lost.

So she decided to deal with it like she had dealt everything else- put everything in a box and push it to the back of her mind and focus on the present.

Not the best coping measure and the ultimate breakdown was going to be spectacular, but she would survive.

Like she always had.

She pushed herself up from her bed when her heart finally stopped acting like it was trying to fly out of her chest and her breathing was finally normalised. She grasped the glass of water, carefully so as not to drop it (her motor skills still needed a lot of work) and gulped it down as she waited for her new guardian to come.

He- Kaien Cross, his name was Kaien Cross- surely enough, arrived as soon as he had changed out of his puke covered clothes. This time, she willingly went to him as he stretched his arms, her new memories surfacing one after another.

Playing together in their garden, going for ice-cream downtown, reading together, drawing together and so much more~

She rested her head on his shoulders as he carried her put of his room and went downstairs, humming a familiarly unfamiliar tune. She looked at him inquisitively and was awarded with a small smile for her efforts.

"We missed your favourite show today, Aki." He said, voice deceptively light. "But, I recorded it!", he said, his smile growing bigger at the thought of his accomplishment.

She wiped off the last vestiges of tears from her eyes and gave him a watery smile. He had been nothing but patient with her and he did not deserve a shitty daughter, that much was clear.

Sniffling, she opened her mouth to speak but what came out was a pathetic croak. Her tongue refused to budge, he throat produced this weird sound and she ended up coughing. She racked her brains for the correct word and then said,

"Water?"

He nodded, smiling brightly as he quickened his pace and almost jumped down the last few stairs. He crossed the room and placed her on her designated chair, helping her till she was comfortable and went to fill her favourite cup. Her supposedly favorite cup.

Gulping down the water greedily, she relished in the feeling of the cool liquid going down her throat, instantly calming her down and rooting her more to the physical world. It was then that her stomach decided to make its almighty presence known.

The man (she was feeling really bad for referring to him like that, after throwing up, then rubbing all her snot and tears on him, but it was still too early for Papa) froze, before going into a frenzy. Within 5 minutes, he had presented a delicious looking, heavenly smelling plate of food in front of her. She stared at it bewildered, and finally registered his words when her brain rebooted.

"Experiment day has been postponed, " he said solemnly.

Oh, she realized. He thought she was surprised to see edible food.

She was then reminded of their ritual of assigning a particular day of the week as "Experiment Day", where as the name suggested, they messed around with ingredients and produced a monstrosity(mostly) or a delicacy, depending on their luck. Not that she could do a lot with her little body, except washing vegetables and careful tasting. A part of her had always thought he chose the day on purpose. After all, it couldn't have been a mere coincidence that those days were almost always the ones where his ex-boss came to visit. She shuddered at the reminder of the truly awful concoction of broccoli, celery and mayonnaise that should never have seen the light of the day. Ever.

At least, that god awful fake man had stopped coming to their house after that.

She choked back a sob as she realized that those days were gone and the kind man in front of her wouldn't even realize what he had lost- the precious innocence and wide-eyed wonder of a child could never be truly reproduced.

It was gone- forever.

If it was even there in the first place.

When she was ultimately put to bed again, a few rays of sunlight was already visible.

The man- Papa- had collapsed by the chair by his bed again and gave her a tired grin.

"Sleep, kiddo. I'll be here."

She couldn't help but ask, "You not sleep?" before wincing. She was pretty sure there was something wrong with that sentence.

He just patted her head, smoothing out her hair with a more energized smile.

"Good night." he said.

She wouldn't have been able to sleep alone anyway.

And sleep she did.

After all, it was her go to stress relief method.

Author's note: Nothing to say, just a tad bit disappointed with the lack of review. Ami I doing something wrong? Is this fic boring? I dunno.

My internship has started and I'm liking it so far. My anxiety levels are off the charts though.

Thanks for following and favoriting and thanks to Crystal blue butterfly for reviewing.

I've decided to keep thin in third person limited view with a few pov changes.

Ciaossu.

Edited, unbetaed: 26/03/2018