A/N: Greetings once again! This chapter took a bit longer than I anticipated, but there's some drama going on and I wanted to be sure that I got everyone acting as authentically as possible given the new shift in this AU.

As always, I don't own anything you might have seen on television. No profit is being made from these scribbles.

No betas were harmed in the making of this chapter - all mistakes are mine.

Enjoy!

Penny was sitting on the sofa with her head in her hands when Amy and Bernadette entered her apartment. "Sorry, guys. I just couldn't sit there and hear those things about Leonard anymore."

"It's okay. I had the same reaction when I learned about my Howie's past," Bernadette consoled, "For mega-geeks, those boys can be real horn dogs."

Amy gave her bestie a reassuring pat on the back. "Think of it this way: it may be impromptu, but now the two – I mean three of us – can have a girl's night!" she said in an excited tone.

Penny looked at both of her friends and saw Bernadette's encouraging smile along with Amy's undisguised eagerness for the sleepovers she was never invited to in childhood. With a sigh, she called on her acting skills and schooled her face into an expression that hopefully conveyed gratitude. "Thanks. I think some company would be really awesome right about now."

"Don't sweat it bestie," Amy said, "Us girls need to stick together in times of crisis brought on by our wayward menfolk."

With a small smile of thanks, Penny got to her feet and went into the kitchen for a can of pop. "I think the weirdest thing is that I'm not more broken up over the whole deal."

"What do you mean?" Amy interrupted before she could continue.

Realizing that her girlfriends didn't know about the beta test proposal, Penny started a bag of popcorn in the microwave before grabbing a couple more pops. Heading back into the living area, she handed one to each of the other women before sitting down. "Leonard came up with the idea for what he called a 'beta test' of a relationship where we start dating again but tell each other about things that bother us right away. His bright idea was that we could fix the 'bugs' before they become real problems."

Bernadette rolled her eyes. "He's wooing you again by treating your relationship like a computer program. How unbearably lovely," she said, sarcasm dripping heavily off her words.

"That does seem like it would be highly out of place in any romantic comedy movie Hollywood makes," Amy frowned.

Penny flopped back onto the sofa with a humorless chuckle. "It shouldn't really surprise me coming from someone who cheated on his girlfriend."

As Amy took a sniff of her armpit, she didn't notice her friends wincing. "Penny, it seems my shower at home has failed to rid me of the chemical aroma of my lab. Would it be acceptable if I took a quick shower?"

Penny blinked a couple times before nodding. "Sure, knock yourself out, Ames. Towels are in the plastic organizer under the sink."

The neurologist got to her feet with a barely-concealed gleeful grin. "I'll try to be careful as I dry off with something that was once rubbed on your golden skin. Fortunately I keep a spare change of clothes with me at all times, even including underthings."

Bernadette mirrored Penny's grimace as Amy closed the bathroom door. Their conversation moved onto the safer ground of cheesecake, acting, and lab work until the water stopped. The blaring of the blow dryer sounded throughout the apartment, but just after it started, everything went dark.

"Oh balls!" Penny exclaimed as she and Bernadette got to their feet. She pointed to an end table near the door. "Candles are in there. I'll try to find my lighter."

"What happened? Did the hair dryer blow a fuse?" the petite microbiologist asked as she spread candles on the coffee table, end tables, dining table, and kitchen counter.

"No, I use that every day," Penny answered as she found the lighter, "It must be the whole building." The two worked quickly to light every candle she owned. Their soft glow illuminated the room enough to see each other and move around, but it wasn't nearly as bright as the electric lights usually made it.

Amy emerged from the bathroom moments later in sweatpants and a hoodie. She looked comfortable, but her hair was a disaster. Still damp, it was matted and tangled beyond belief.

Penny had to cover her mouth with one hand to hide a grin. "Wow, Amy. Um, I don't really know…" she trailed off, unable to find the right words to describe the mess on her friend's head.

"It's a disaster, I know. My hair always does this if it doesn't get properly blown," Amy replied.

While Penny hid a smirk and mumbled something about how many different things that last phrase applied to, Bernadette got a ponytail holder out of her purse. "Oh, it's not so bad. Why don't you just slick it back into a ponytail?"

Amy's eyes shone with glee. "Yes! This really IS a sleepover! We're going to do each other's hair and share raunchy gossip. I wish I could go back and tell the teenaged Amy that things really will get better!"

Penny chuckled as she flopped back on the couch.

"So what are you going to do about Leonard?" Bernadette asked as she sat down next to her friend.

Blowing an errant strand of blond hair out of her eyes, Penny glared at the door. "I'm not going to date a cheater. I swore to myself I never would after Kurt."

"Even when he didn't cheat on you specifically? He has told you he loved you in the past. Maybe he really has changed," Amy reminded her.

"Once a cheater, always a cheater. I've learned that lesson the hard way," Penny declared after taking a sip of her cola, "He told me that he loves me, but he also told Priya and God only knows how many women he slept with when I wasn't interested."

"Howie told me about how the three of them each had sex with the visiting professor that stayed with Sheldon the one time, plus he's still kind of bitter about the whole Dr. Stephanie thing," Bernadette agreed

Amy looked confused. "I've heard about this Stephanie before but only from Leonard."

Bernadette started to answer but Penny waved her off. "Trust me, honey. This will be much funnier if I tell the story," she looked at Amy again, "So you know how Howard's kind of creepy and makes comments about anything with breasts (sorry Bernadette)?"

The brunette nodded.

"Well he used to be like, a billion times worse. Once upon a time, long before this crazy couple," she gestured to the tiny blonde, "bonded over a loathing of their mothers, Howard Wolowitz's go-to move was to go out to clubs and ask a girl if she wanted to drive the Mars Rover."

"You're kidding," Amy said in her customary monotone.

"No no, I shit you not. He even gave me that line early on," promised Penny as she pursed her lips and nodded, "Anyway, for whatever reason, one night that line actually worked on a tall, busty redheaded doctor - Stephanie. Long story short, Howard tried to follow through but screwed up and the Rover got stuck on Mars. He called the boys and had Leonard take her home, but before they even made her apartment, they were making out."

Amy's eyes got huge. "What!? He did that?"

Penny smirked. "Yeah. They even started a relationship, and she almost moved in until he got cold feet and broke it off."

"Wow, that's just…wow."

"Did he tell Stephanie he loved her?" Bernadette wanted to know.

Looking up to remember what happened, Penny shook her head. "No, her almost moving in freaked him out."

"I have to give Leonard credit. When I met him, I never thought he would be this successful of a Lothario. He's managed to sleep with more women than would seem credible on first blush," said Amy in what Penny had come to term her 'scientist' voice.

"Yeah, it's just, I don't know. With what he did with Stephanie, and now this new stuff about making out and almost sleeping with Alice, I'll always be wondering if he's doing them when he's with me, you know?" she asked her friends.

"I don't blame you for being a little creeped out," Bernadette said, "He doesn't exactly have the best track record. I think you can do a lot better."

Penny smiled her thanks, but her improving mood was tempered by Amy's pursed lips and furrowed eyebrows. "Amy? What's wrong?"

The brunette sat down in the chair kitty-corner from the sofa. "I really believed everything he said about being devoted to you. That I could be so wrong is upsetting."

Penny shook her head and tried to change – or at least shift – the topic. "Anyway, that's enough of that for now. What's new with you two? Bernadette, how are you doing with Howard's launch? How's Sheldon been lately, Amy?"

Across the hall the tension was still palpable.

Leonard visibly radiated anger while Howard and Raj had to stifle smiles. Sheldon worked hard to stifle all reaction to what just transpired, though inside he was elated. The evening could not possibly have gone better for his goal of keeping the beta test relationship from happening.

"That's a lot for all the wonderful help with Penny, guys," Leonard snarled.

"Like I told you, we weren't trying to be helpful," Howard retorted, "You reap what you sow, mi compadre."

Raj grinned. "In my country it's called karma. You screw around, the universe screws you back. You, my friend, just bent over and took what was coming to you."

Throwing his food down onto the coffee table, Leonard stood up, "But you weren't supposed to do THAT," he said through gritted teeth, "You know I want Penny back. Why would you tell her about the other women I've been with?"

Raj looked up from his own food with confusion etched in the lines on his brow. "I don't get it. You wanted to start another relationship with her without telling her everything?"

"She didn't have to know about Alice! I know she knows I used to hook up with Leslie every so often, but she didn't need to be reminded of that, and for damned sure Alice wasn't anything she ever had to hear about," Leonard sputtered.

"So, let me get this straight. You profess to love the woman across the hall, sleep with half a dozen others, including his sister," he gestured to Raj, "You told Priya you loved her over and over, even as it ended a few weeks ago when she dumped you, and then you want to get back together with Penny without being honest about everything you'd done? What happens if she finds out later on?" Howard asked. He'd always been the one with the horn-dog reputation in their circle, but Leonard's dalliances over the past few years changed that dynamic. He was happily attached to Bernadette while his bespectacled friend was still chasing every skirt that wafted his way.

Raj laughed as Leonard foundered, rendered incapable of coherent speech in his frustration and anger. "Dude, you look like a goldfish. But seriously, what would you do if Penny had been with Zack or Kurt or someone from her past and didn't tell you? What if she'd cheated on some guy with someone else and lied to you about it?"

Sheldon watched as Leonard's brown eyes widened and turned a distinct shade of green. He hunched over defensively as a note of panic entered his voice. "Why? What do you know? Has Penny been dating anyone? Why wouldn't she tell me that?"

Howard gaped. "Are you even listening to yourself? You're knocking us for telling her the same thing you would have demanded from her? That's a pretty dick move, man."

Sensing it was time for him to join the conversation, Sheldon snorted. "I'm certainly no expert on relationships, but it would seem that any romantic involvement should be based on mutual honesty and respect, Leonard."

Rounding on his roommate, Leonard bared his teeth in a vicious parody of a smile. "And what do you know about dating? You're barely human!"

Sheldon stood stiffly and looked down his nose. "I may not be Casanova, but I was raised to treat women better than that," he declared as he turned and went back to the kitchen.

Straightening out as he attempted to shrug off the evening, Leonard glowered at his friends. "You're all insane. This whole situation is crazy. Penny's mine! She and I love each other. Tonight was just a bump in the road. You'll see. We were meant to be together."

From his position facing the sink, Sheldon was glad his roommate couldn't see his expression. His eyes rolled so hard they physically hurt. He'd need to keep an eye on Leonard in the next few days. Gradually quieter thuds on the floor announced Leonard's departure to his room. He just hoped that he would use headphones for the inevitable Alanis Morissette binge-a-thon.

"Does anyone else think he sounded really creepy?" Raj asked.

Sheldon and Howard shared a look before nodding.

Bernadette grinned and took a sip of her drink. "Howie's good. I mean we're both nervous about the launch, but it'll be worth it."

"Do you really think so? Going to the Space Station seems like a really big deal. I remember how against it you said you were early on," said Penny.

That brought Bernadette's smile down. "I know, and it's intimidating, but how could I say no in the face of something that so few people have ever done? I would do anything for my little hunky monkey."

With a wry smile at the term of endearment for someone whose nose she'd once broken for being a perv, Penny reached over and grasped her hand. "Well, I want you to know that if you ever get lonely or need to get away from Howard's mother, you're welcome to crash here."

After giving Penny a thank-you hug, Bernadette turned to Amy. "What about you, Amy? Have you made any progress getting physical with your sexy praying mantis?"

At the unbidden mental image of the awkward neurologist writhing beneath Sheldon Cooper, Penny experienced two diametrically opposed physical responses. Her stomach clenched so violently she had to fight the urge to spit out her cola while simultaneously she felt a surge of heat to her lower belly. With a fleeting thought of gratitude that neither of her friends were looking at her right at the moment, Penny blinked rapidly in shock at both the fact that she just pictured Sheldon – Sheldon! – making love and not only did not grimace in disgust, was actually aroused by the vision. Where the frak did that come from? She thought to herself as she schooled her face to mild amusement. I don't have the time or energy to deal with that right now.

Unaware of her bestie's sudden inner turmoil Amy's face grew sour at the question. "I wish. My frustratingly chaste boyfriend has yet to even stick his hand up my shirt to reach the proverbial 'second base'. I've even been tempted to fake a cold to somehow coerce him into rubbing my chest under the terms of our Relationship Agreement."

Another nauseating clench. Penny got up and started walking around her living area to somehow convince her insides to relax. Something about the mental images Amy insisted on pushing into their heads was making her physically queasy. She needed something stronger than cola. Turning her attention back to her two guests, Penny had to pause while Amy, oblivious to social niceties as ever, was telling a vaguely horrified-looking Bernadette, "What I wouldn't give to visit him in his office and get bent over his desk. Just the thought of his huge –"

"Does anyone need some rum?" Penny squeaked loudly, desperately needing Amy to stop talking.

"Me!" Bernadette almost shouted as she used the excuse to bolt from any further awkwardness.

Amy looked at her friends, nonplussed by their abrupt departure. "White wine only for me, please. Hard liquor tends to affect my higher cognitive processes much more adversely than wine does. If I were to overindulge in wine tonight, I would be little better than my feces-flinging monkeys at home."

By now tired of wincing at her bluntness, the two blondes just put on fake smiles and hoped the conversation would change. Penny found her emergency pinot grigio and poured half a glass for Amy before setting herself and Bernadette up with rum and colas.

After taking a cautious sip – knowing how strong Penny had a tendency to make their drinks – Bernadette offered Amy what she thought was one final consolation. "Keep at it, Amy. Eventually Sheldon will see what he's missing and then you'll get some sugar action."

"I hope you're right, Bernadette. What with his work and scheduled evenings with the boys, sometimes it feels like I can't ever catch a break," Amy whined.

"I can't ever catch a break," Penny breathed, staring at Amy, who sat on the couch looking on in all innocence. She saw damp, wavy hair pulled back and dim candle light reflecting off her glasses. The other two girls looked at her strangely as her eyes went out of focus. For the briefest of seconds, her mind played a trick on her and she saw a vision of Leonard sitting on her couch just as he was after the Arctic debacle, making the same whining complaint.

In that moment everything became crystal clear, even in the dim light. Sheldon had lied to her. Sort of. He told her the right events, but changed the names. He played her.

Sheldon played her.

He told her every sleazy thing Leonard had done and disguised it as someone his sister knew to get her advice. In the process, he tricked her into seeing the situation without rose-colored glasses on, and telling him exactly what Missy's friend should do about a guy like Leonard.

Leonard, who ruined Sheldon's own experiment in the Arctic with a grade-school prank; who did everything he did with the end goal of sex; who manipulated her and God only knew how many other women with wounded puppy eyes and tales of an unloved childhood.

She flashed back to hearing him on their non-date at the movie theater, saying that he did tons of things he really didn't want to just so she would sleep with him when they were dating. She remembered him switching apartments with Raj so he could sleep with Priya without worrying. He slept with Stephanie the same night that Howard picked her up in the bar. There was the visiting professor, almost this new girl – Alice – apparently, and all the times he ignored her to flirt with whichever hot girl showed him even the slightest bit of attention, like Alicia and Missy.

Sheldon Lee Cooper, the man who couldn't lie, tricked her into verbalizing exactly what a random girl like her should do with and to a random guy like Leonard. Like the guy she was considering dating again, Penny realized with another wince. The clever little shit even used a name almost identical to her own in his trickery and she hadn't seen it

Penny forced her eyes to focus again and saw a dark-haired, bespectacled scientist seated on her couch, complaining about not being able to seduce their significant other. The fact that she had to shake her head to clear her vision and see that it was Amy instead of Leonard made her stomach churn violently. Setting her drink down on the counter with a jarring thud, she blurted, "Excuse me!" and ran to the bathroom. She just barely made it before she threw up everything she'd eaten that day. The heaves kept repeating until there was nothing left to purge.

Feeling a hand holding back her hair, Penny expected Amy to be the one comforting her, but was surprised to see Bernadette. "If you want, we can leave you alone to get some rest," she offered.

With a weak but thankful smile, Penny nodded. "Sorry about ruining girls' night, but I think that would be best. Maybe we could take a rain check?"

Bernadette nodded. "Of course. You need to rest."

Amy took the news with a great deal more reluctance, but eventually gave in at the promise of a future girl's night. "I hope that by morning your stomach has calmed down, bestie," she said on her way out the door.

A quiet "Thanks," was all Penny could offer as the door closed behind them, leaving her alone in her apartment to consider what she'd realized that evening.

A/N: I can't be the only one who thinks Amy in seasons 5 and 6 was essentially a female Leonard, just less mean-spirited. She's a sweet girl, but the similarities are just too jarring for me.

As always, constructive feedback is much appreciated! Flames that don't like the pairing will be ignored - if you're reading stories that clearly identify a pairing you don't like and you're reading them anyway just to leave nasty feedback...that's your own darn fault. I just don't have any words for how sad and pathetic that really is.

The votes are in and the story will not end with this chapter :) How will Penny respond to Sheldon's manipulation? How will Leonard handle Penny's sudden evasiveness? Stay tuned!