Chapter 3 – The Graham syndrome

Ellie in the three years she was living in Jacksonville she had a pretty normal life for a young adult: she helped monitoring the dam walls, farming, doing house chores. She and Joel lived next to Tommy and Maria and with time Maria became one of her best friends. She would most be helpful in the areas Joel wouldn't interfere, like clothing, beauty products – what was possible to scavenge or to sort in such harsh conditions. They became so close that once a week they would watch movies at Maria's place, while Joel and Tommy would be busy either on the wall or in construction assignments.

That week's movie was an early Indies classic 'Sex, Lies and Videotape'. James Spader was Maria's favorite while growing up and Ellie was more curious about videotape on the title than any other word… She was thinking maybe was some sort of an espionage flick like James Bond – because there's a lot of sex in it.

When she started to watch the movie something had awaken her, she had seen many movies approaching sex, showing sex scenes, but nothing as striking as it was now for Ellie. There you had Graham, who was a handsome man, intelligent, however disturbed and traumatized by the abrupt ending of his relationship and she couldn't help not think about Joel. She have known him now for three years and she had never seen him with any woman or never saw him daydreaming or anything of the sort – so she couldn't help thinking if Joel was so traumatized that he never had a happy, healthy sex life?

Ellie started to be bothered why she was thinking about this. Joel when they first new each other was just an old chaperone that she was forced into staying close and while they had to stay together to survive she began perceiving him as one of the best people she ever knew. He is a man of few words, but with an inner strength beyond anything she's ever bestowed not to mention his capacity for love. She was also aware that his grief had made as the ruthless man she knew he was, however that didn't made him any less in Ellie's eyes.

Another thing she realized after watching the movie was that the words shared between Graham and Anne resonated so strongly with her that she started to become aware of some sensations in her body she didn't noticed and all of them happened when Joel was around.

It all begun while she was sweeping the porch of their house and it was a hot and sunny afternoon. Joel was wearing an old bleached t-shirt and she could notice all his muscles flexing while he was sawing some wooden boards for some shells to be placed in the kitchen. She had seen many times before Joel performing chores like this, but never had such a bewitching effect on her. She couldn't help noticing the sweat dripping from his face and then he lifted his t-shirt in a very fluid movement and wiped the sweat of his forehead.

Joel had an extraordinary physic for someone who was in his early fifties. He was a tall man, with a heavy build, but even with 20 years of over life and he was being able to protect himself from the sun or even in some occasions be really close to starving to death, he was still a very handsome man. His chest was not excessively haired and it was broad and defined. His arms were still muscular. Ellie also noticed his butt was perky and hard – at least his Jeans were telling her that.

Ellie could feel her insides twitching it felt as she was seeing Joel for the first time and the life she knew so far was over for her.

Whenever she was around him, even doing her best to keep her cool she would still caught herself fantasizing about him slowly undressing his clothes to her or taking a shower. She sometimes thought about what he would look like if she could give him an orgasm. What would Ellie feel if her orgasms were caused by Joel?

Having to act normally while in presence of others was a very difficult task and while she was alone her head would keep hammering if we could love her, if he was stuck because of his trauma. Does he feel horny?

Joel usually wakes up early to start preparing the ingredients for the meals and Ellie hardly ever does such thing because she is a disaster for food… God knows how he survived while recovering from his impalement, because the food – even living in a world with such limited resources was pretty plain and almost every time about to become coal.

But in a summer morning, Ellie was already ahead of him. She had cooked some scrambled eggs, made French toast with some coffee.

"Hey baby girl is everything ok?" – Joel asked completely puzzled with the sudden surprise.

"Yeah… why?" – Ellie acting like it was something normal.

"Well, you cooked… There's no peptol bismol around…"

"ahahah, you are such a jerk" – Ellie teased – "no worries, I know you won't need it". – She looked at him a little bit with humor but also with intensity and Joel couldn't help noticing for the first time that was the gaze of a woman and he felt weird inside.

"Humm… ok… I believe you…" Ellie arranged the food in his place, almost as an artistic display and Joel even though he was afraid of the taste couldn't resist the presentation, so he took the first bite and couldn't be more happily satisfied how she was able to prepare this delicious food. Still, he decided to tease her "Oh… God damn, Ellie! This…. Ugh".

Ellie panicked, she was sure she had a hit until she saw Joel's wicked smile. – "Ah, you fucker!" and she started punching him on the shoulders until he turned to her held her wrist and started poking her until she started squealing and she grabbed onto his waist to make him closer to her and they kept staring at each other for a while. Ellie wanted to have the courage to make the move and kiss him but Joel looked kinda confused.

Ellie noticed Joel had a drip of cream on his cheek so she touched his cheek with her index and licked her finger tasting a little bit of the saltiness of his skin "It tastes better on you..." Joel gave a sly smile and spilled some cream on her cheek "will it taste better on you too?" Ellie bit her lips and gave him a more intensified gaze "I don't know, why don't you try it?" so Joel reached Ellie's face with his face and gave her a moist kiss licking the cream of her cheek and she forgot how to breath for a feel seconds feeling really woozy. "Yeah, tasting your toast on you makes it even better. What do we have that makes it better? ". Ellie raised her hands caressing his chest and pulled him for a hungry kiss. She poured all curiosity into the kiss. Joel kissed her back as intensive as Ellie was but soon he pulled her out trying to escape her "I can't do this… I can't do this" and she really frustrated "Why?"

Joel didn't say much and trotted upstairs without looking at her and locked himself in his bedroom. Ellie gathered herself from the mess they had done and tried to swallow her tears sobbing as silent as she could. She understood there was some need and perhaps desire in his kiss, but why stop? It didn't make any sense for her – although she knew that maybe there was the age factor, but so what?

Joel's heart was pounding really fast. He barely remembered when was the last time when he felt this need to ravish someone like he considered doing with Ellie. Her scent was sensual and her touch was heavenly, he could feel the warmth in her body which made his body shiver and howl with desire.

Still, Joel couldn't go with it; even knowing she is eighteen, she is an adult, but she's too young for him and he hadn't been with a woman for a really long time. Another problem that haunted his mind was the possibility of having sex with her. Was she still a virgin? If she was, would he still be able to go through with it? Would he hurt her? He knew he still got his maneuvers because he could sense her body responses while they were kissing and she sighed and moaned. It was a kiss to be remembered and it had been a real long time ever since he felt so much passion and sincerity in a kiss.

He was sure that he loved her immensely. Ellie is his favorite person, she always reminded him how was still good to be alive and he could let his demons subside whenever she smiled at him and that was when he realized that the only reason to not love her back was: none.

So he opened the door and decided to open up his heart to her…

A/N This was a hard chapter for me to write because I wanted to start with the lemon section here, but I didn't want to make it sound silly, forced or only to indulge my wishes to write about their chemistry in bed – which I must confess I totally dig it.

Don't forget to comment, review and send your love. I appreciate all readers, comments and reviews and thank you all for being so kind and anxious about this one. I hope to not let you guys down.