Sarah vs The White Picket Fence Future Note: I think Morgan might be next up... If the back of my head can turn S3 into a Chuck/Casey happy ending, I'm going to be really impressed! Well, that and slightly disturbed... LOL This story is Chuck/Casey and Chuck/Sarah and Sarah/Carina and mentions m/m and f/f sex, which means a homosexual relationship. If you don't like that kind of thing, if you're underage, if it's illegal where you are, don't read this story. Life's too short to get upset by things you read on the internet, okay?
Sarah loves Chuck. That's one thing she's certain of. Somehow this young man's innocence and vulnerability, his creativity and resourcefulness, and most of all his bravery, have found all the cracks in her armor, have wormed their way into her heart and soul and no matter how hard she tries, she can't help but love Chuck with a heart she'd long thought buried.
But there's her job to think of; she doesn't want to be reassigned because she's 'compromised' and she doesn't want to leave Chuck unprotected, never mind that Casey's there, that he's in it for the long haul and there's no one better to protect their boy.
Part of her wants so very much to have a future with Chuck, to have love and companionship, to have someone who knows her, who knows her name, and who won't use anything - the job, the things she's done, the things her father's done - against her. That's the part that wants to throw a lifetime of caution to the wind and let love be enough.
But a lifetime of training to be someone else, a hundred someone elses, has left her wary. She knows what this life has done to her, what the job has done to her. She knows what she's capable of, and from the start she hasn't wanted that for Chuck. She doesn't want him to become someone who can't recognize himself when he looks in the mirror. She knows what this life leads to and she doesn't want him to become a killer. She doesn't want him to become a killer like her.
Sarah doesn't mean to hurt Chuck, but she does what she has to in order to keep him safe, keep him alive, even if at times he comes close to hating her for it. And when he downloads the Intersect 2.0 and saves both her and Casey, when he ends up training to be a spy, she doesn't know how to adjust to a world in which he doesn't need her to keep him alive.
Chuck is distant at times, then he talks about love and forever. Sarah isn't a spy for nothing: she knows he's spent nights with Casey, despite both men's orientation. She doesn't begrudge either man: she's spent nights with Carina that neither woman will admit to in the harsh light of day. But in the end, Sarah has to decide if she can give Chuck what she knows he needs. She needs to know if she can give him all of herself, forever.
Sarah's had a lifetime of training in how not to trust anyone, in how to distance herself from the demands of her heart. She's pretty sure that she can love Chuck, can be in love with him, that she can learn to live with him and spend her life with him. Now all she needs to know is if he can spend a lifetime with her.