I don't know why, but this idea came to my mind after I horribly baked some chocolate chip cookies of doom. . .there were over five injured, but zero casualties.

Disclaimer: Me own Fullmetal Alchemist and Pandora Hearts? I wish. But sadly, I don't own either. . . T_T*clutches Edward plushie*

About 10 weeks after the fight at school, life almost went back to normal at Abyss Gate High School.

Keyword: 'almost'

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Edward ran down the hallway, screaming as if the Gate of Truth was after him, when in reality, he was avoiding the physical being held at the infirmary.

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH A LITTLE NEEDLE?!" Alice ran down the hallway after her rival in competitions. Meanwhile, Oz and Al simply stood there, stunned as to what on Earth/Amestris/Gate of Truth/Abyss was going on?!

"Do I even wanna know?" Gilbert asked from behind all of a sudden. Oz and Al simply, but slowly shook their heads. Not even noticing who was behind them.

Hohenheim came out of the clinic, syringe in hand. "I wonder why he always runs away from me the moment he sees the needle. I was only going to move it somewhere else." Al merely facepalmed.

"I think the needle was the cause, Dad," Al replied in a monotone voice. Just then, the teen got an idea. "Hey, Oz," Al queried, "I got an idea for another competition!"

Oz piped up at the sudden news, "Really? What is it?"

Al gave him an almost evil grin, "How about a cooking contest?"

Simultaneously, Oz, Gil, and Hohenheim both faceplanted to the floor, "HOW ON EARTH DID YOU GET THAT IDEA?!" the former said as he bounced back up from the floor. Al simply shrugged as even he doesn't know how the idea came up all of a sudden. Maybe he'll have to ask the writer of this strange story.

"I dunno. But I think that it'll be best to leave this a secret to the entire school," Al concluded, "but we'll have to ask the lunch staff if we can use the kitchen first."

Hohenheim finally managed to push himself off the floor, "Is this what you've been doing these past few months, Alphonse?" he asked. Al looked at his dad with an innocent smile.

"Yeah."

"How will we convince the staff to let us borrow the kitchen?" Oz asked in wonder, "It's not like they'll willingly allow us to use it."

"That sounds like a great idea!" Siera, the one who washes (and breaks/destroys) the dishes said excitedly. Tiffa, who was right next to her, simply nodded.

"Just don't burn down the kitchen. Like how two certain somebodies did." Tiffa looked in the direction of Sorio and Kaylin, who were both sweating profusely.

"IT WAS ONLY ONCE!" they both said in unison.

Dean, the other cook, shook his head while knocking the two on the head with a cookbook, "And THAT'S why we have four cooks instead of two! And Tony's stuck watching Siera in case she destroys the dishwasher again."

"THAT ONLY HAPPENED TWO OR THREE TIMES!" Siera countered. Oz and Al sweatdropped. Just how crazy was the kitchen anyway before and after lunch hours?

Meanwhile, Ed was still running down the hall, away from the clinic. Since that day, he vowed to avoid having to go to the clinic. Unfortunately, Alice got lost somewhere in the sea of students at the gym. Ed made a turn at the corner when he suddenly bumped into someone. "HEY! Watch where you're goin' you—?!" Ed stopped short when he realized who he hit.

"And why exactly are you running down the hallways, young alchemist?" Truth asked with a bit of a mocking tone in voice as he said the last part. Truth loved calling Ed that ever since Oz accidentally let slip the 'alchemist' part weeks ago.

Ed slowly backed away as Alice finally caught up. "Uh. . .nothing! Just didn't want to be late for class! See ya!" the boy said quickly and darted off to class, Alice following close behind.

"It's rare to see Truth outside of his office," Alice whispered. Ed could only nod frantically. "Apparently, your brother and Oz came up with another strange idea for a competition," she continued and her rival suddenly stopped short when he heard what she said.

"Seriously?" he asked. Alice nodded. "I don't get what's gotten into them with all these competitions! Ever since that food eating contest, they've been at it like there's no tomorrow."

"I couldn't agree more."

~At the cafeteria during lunchtime~

"This time, it's a cooking contest!" Al and Oz said cheerfully. Alice and Edward fell out of their chairs at the exact same time.

"DIDN'T WE SAY NO MORE FOOD ANYTHING?!" both countered. They soon drew the attention of the entire cafeteria.

The two rivals could only groan as Oz and Al nodded, both with halos over their heads. From across the table, Winry and Gil could've sworn that they saw souls come out of Ed and Alice.

"Do you even have permission from the lunch staff to use the kitchen?" Gil asked.

"We asked in advance," Oz replied while taking a bite out of his flatbread taco. (1)

"But what is it that they're going to be cooking?" Winry asked in confustion.

Al thought about it to himself for a moment before he got an idea. "How about Mapo Tofu?" (2)

"THAT'S THE SPICIEST MEAL ON THE PLANET!" Alice shouted as she and Ed finally came back to their senses.

"Welcome back to the world of the living! We hope you enjoy your stay," Oz said. Alice got up from her seat and started shaking Oz by his shirt.

"WHAT WAS THAT?!" she growled.

While Alice was nearly strangling Oz, everyone else got back on topic. "When's the cook-off going to be?" Gil asked.

Al put his hand to his chin in thought. "We were thinking about holding it tomorrow after school."

Ed suddenly placed his hand on his brother's shoulder. "I don't get why you're doing this all of a sudden. Do you love to torment your brother so?"

Al couldn't help but laugh at his brother's remark, "I thought we could do something fun for our sophomore year! Last year wasn't that great, so we thought we could liven it up a bit this year." He had to suppress a giggle when Ed let his head fall down in slight defeat as he muttered something about how little siblings can sometimes be more mischievous than the older sibling.

Later that day, after school, the quartet discuss how to do the cook-off while on their way home.

"Does it seriously have to be Mapo Tofu? Why can't it be something else?" Alice asks with a slight groan. "It could've been a giant piece of meat!"

"You always think about meat?" Al asked. "The recipe does require pork if I recall. . ."

Alice started jumping up and down for joy at the last sentence. Hey, at least it was meat. Why not?

The next day after school, after spending almost three hours in the library doing research on Mapo Tofu recipes and finally coming to a conclusion, the group of four meet in the cafeteria kitchen where the kitchen staff were playing. . .Go Fish?

"Do you have any two's?" Kaylin asked.

"Go fish for Goldfish!" Sorio exclaimed.

Feeling slightly guilty about interrupting their game, Al cleared his throat to get their attention. The staff of eight look at them.

"Yay! You're finally here! Shall we get started?" Siera asked.

"I guess so," Ed said. "Only if Al and Oz join in the cook off though," he finished off with a smirk.

Al and Oz sweatdropped.

"Hoh?" Alice started. "I wonder how Oz's cooking turns out?"

Dean and Tiffa started for the storage room. "We'll get the proper equipment set up for you," the latter said over her shoulder.

The quadruplets made their way to the stoves and got ready for the cook off.

"That'll be 5000 cenz, please!" Edward (cashier one) said nonchalantly to Ed. That, however, got him a giant Taser to the head by none other than Summer.

"Don't worry about him. It's free of charge," the whitehead girl said before dragging off an unconscious Edward by the collar of his shirt. The four teens remain speechless at the recent occurrence. Boy, was this school crazy. With two principals with a God complex and no vice principals, teachers that would teach the oddest subjects, a kitchen staff consisting of eight teenagers that most likely dropped out of school, four new students that would sometimes fill in the place of the four most scariest teachers, strange administrators that roam the halls, and a brother and friend that come up with the most ridiculous competitions ever in school history, what's more to add to the list?!

Ed, Al, Oz, and Alice made their way to the counter where the ingredients for Mapo Tofu were laid out, as well as the proper equipment. "Chicken broth, hot bean paste, soy sauce, and kosher salt," Al mumbled. "As well as soft tofu, ground pork shoulder, canola oil, minced garlic, minced peeled fresh ginger, cornstarch dissolved in water, Japanese sesame oil, Sichuan-peppercorn powder that needs to be toasted, and sliced scallion. Yep, it's all here!" Al confirmed.

"Feel free to ask for help if you need any, but don't burn down the kitchen," Tony said from the small table with UNO cards.

And with that, the four teens started on the contest. "Whoever makes the best is declared winner!" Ed exclaimed.

"And whoever makes the worst has to do Saturday work detail!" Alice finished off.

"Don't they have ISS now?" Al asked.

Everyone stopped in preparing their meals and thought long and hard about it. "Not in this school," Oz said slightly unsure about it since he never got in trouble.

"They don't. It's still Saturday work detail, at least in this school," Ed explained since he sometimes got into trouble. Sometimes.

The four shrugged it off and continued with their work. Stirring together the broth, paste, soy sauce, and kosher salt for later use and got started on cooking the tofu and pork.

Some time later. . .

"DONE! XD"

Everyone looked gleefully at their masterpieces. Ed's coming out a little better than OK, Al's being well made, Oz's being OK, and Alice's. . .so so.

"I guess we do a taste test on all of them?" Ed asked. Al nodded in confirmation. Each grabbed a spoon and took a bite out of each dish, thus getting several reactions from every one of them.

"Al, yours tastes like it's from a restaurant!" Ed exclaimed. Al mumbled a slight 'Thank you.' Ed then went to taste the one Alice made. ". . .Alice, the meat doesn't taste like it's cooked."

"Really? I thought the exact same thing," Oz agreed aloud. Al took a bite out the dish Alice made while said girl sat in a corner with doom and gloom all over. Al's face turned blue!

"I. . .agree," Al said.

"I tried to cook it! But it wasn't doing anything when I tried to stir-fry it!" Alice defended. Just then, Ed remembered something about the time when Alice was stir-frying the pork.

"If I recall, I don't think she even turned on the stove," the blond said matter-of-factly.

"So that's what happened," Oz and Al said in unison. The former of the two said, "But wouldn't that meat be raw? We all ate a piece of it. . .and. . ." Everyone's faces all turned blue, then a ghostly white, and their souls popped out of them and floated to the afterlife. Soon after, the four teens immediately darted straight for the infirmary, Ed actually going on his own free will to be safe from food poisoning. Little did they know was that principals Truth and Alice were trying to contain their laughter.

"So that's what it is," Principal Alice giggled.

Truth gave a thumbs up and said, "I guess there's one extra for Saturday work detail."

OMAKE

Ed and Al got bored at school. So, to make the day fun, they started to sing.

"99 bottle of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer! Take one down, pass it around, 99 bottles of beer on the wall!"

"What are you two doing?" Oz asked in confusion. Alice nodded to ensure that she was curious too.

"Singing 99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall," Ed and Al said in unison. Alice and Oz nodded in understanding.

"Sounds like a good idea! We'll join too!" Alice chirped up. And so they joined Ed and Al's chant.

"98 bottle of beer on the wall, 98 bottles of beer! Take one down, pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall!"

97 bottles of beer on the wall, and one very. . .very. . .VERY annoyed school later. . .

"Ever notice that this chant has no proper ending?" Oz asked as he realized this.

"Hmmm. . .yeah," Ed said. "Let's make one!"

*whisper, whisper* then, "yep!"

In a sad tone, "No more bottle of beer on the wall, no more bottles of beer. . ." picks up happy speed tone again, "So we go next door, to have more fun, with 99 bottles of Pepsi on the wall!"

The whole school: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

I hope you like the chapter! (1) Has anyone else noticed flatbread tacos in their school? I tried one and it tasted really good! If you haven't tasted one but see it, try it! :D (2) I'm not saying, but if you want, take a guess on which anime it's from. Anyway, please review! XD Till next time! *falls off Rainbow Road and becomes a falling star* (seriously, has anyone noticed that in Mario Kart Wii?)