TUESDAY

Brightness. A wave of confusion and dizziness swept over me as my eyes adjusted to the developing brightness. The soft sunlight seemed like blinding daggers to my unprotected eyes. Eyes half-closed, and body and mind still asleep I searched the floor around me for my glasses. When I couldn't find them I began to panic, and jumped up immediately then scouted around the tiny room to see where they were. The weird thing was that everything wasn't blurry. Recognition dawning on my tired features, I reached up and touched my nose, sure enough, they were there. Cursing at my own stupidity I sat back down on my make-shift bed and rubbed my forehead, thinking back to yesterday. I remember seeing the girl, acting like a fool and then proceed as if nothing had happened. Typical me, the last bit only, the first was something I never thought possible. Oh dear god, how I hated mornings, they always had a way of upsetting my day. I will probably arrive at school with everyone staring, pointing and whispering behind closed hands. Endlessly gossiping about what had happened to the iciest kid at school. It was bad enough they talked about the hair. Normally I was fine with people talking about me, I just simply didn't care, but like with the hair, it just followed me everywhere. I refuse to dye it anyhow, it is me and it is for me alone. But with them talking about my accident, I didn't like the fact that people thought they knew something I didn't. What overcame me I don't know, but it definitely wasn't love. I mean come on, it was the first I met her, unless you count my dreams, which any sane person wouldn't. I groaned and rubbed my forehead; thinking was too painful right now. I got up and went to the bathroom.

I looked at my appearance in the mirror. I was definitely not looking my best. My hair was even messier looking than usual, my glasses were tilted to one side, my clothes were crumpled and dirty and I looked as if a slight wind could blow me over. I thought the best remedy would be a hot shower to wake me up. I closed the window and door and got undressed. I stepped inside the shower cubicle and turned the hot tap on first. Steaming hot water gushed over me and turned my skin a radiating red. When I could take no more I turned the cold water tap and the heat slackened a bit. The water did wonders to my mind, I already knew that would happen but I still got that satisfaction when you planned something would happen and it did. The hot water heated up the skin causing pain, this travelled up nerves and into the brain, this results in pain. The more hot water that flowed onto me, the more skin sent those messages to the nerves and then into the brain. This made the brain more focused as it dealt with all the pain. I smirked. I enjoyed being a genius.

After my shower I dried myself and put on the clothes from yesterday on. When you have the perfect outfit you can't change it. When I finished I collapsed on top of my bed. I closed my eyes and stroked the pillow. It was soft, comforting, and warm….. Just like her hair.

My eyes snapped open. DAMN IT! Somehow everything was always directed to her. My anger and fury burned deep inside me, fuelling my actions. I walked up to the blue wall and punched it two, three times making the pain and anger consume me. I sagged down and inspected my knuckles, they were grazed and my right one had blood trickling down the side of it. I lay my head against the wall, wearing the look you find on those kids on anti-bullying posters. My head was too full of thoughts; I needed to get out of here. I grabbed my bag without even thinking about it and walked out the door looking like a thundercloud.

The crisp morning air bit hard against my skin. Everything looked fresher, more vivid in the morning, I never realised. I checked my watch; I had left a full 15 minutes earlier than I usually do. With some luck maybe I would miss Tobi; I didn't want to deal with him right now. I kept my head down most of the time; it was almost as if the thoughts were weighing it down. Before I could even realise it I was standing just beyond the school gates. I was acting most unlike myself this week. And it troubled me deeply.

"Do you have dreams?" asked a voice to my right. I jumped back a little, I didn't even realise someone was there. As I saw who it was my eyes widened. It was her. She was just standing there in a simple blue shirt and black skirt. Her brown eyes gazing out in front at the school. Even her voice seemed beautiful.

It took me a few seconds to realise she was awaiting a response.

"I once had, but now I am not so sure." I replied with my usual cool and controlled voice.

"Is that so, why is that?" She asked, still gazing at the school.

"I find dreams are an invitation to unhappiness. If you do not succeed, you are forever deemed a failure."

"Hmm. There is truth to what you say, certainly. But what if you die before you can achieve your dream?" she said while slowly turning her head, her hair was in just the right angle to catch the sunlight. I glowed and shimmered until it looked like gold.

"Then your dream couldn't of been that important in the first place then." I countered.

Her soft eyes seemed to turn sad at that moment, and she nodded.

"You're right, I hope I can reach my dream and I hope for you to find a dream." She spoke quietly then walked through the front gates.

I spent the next few seconds just staring at her as she entered the school. Her silky voice, her eyes, her hair, her…well, her. It was confirmed now; she was definitely the one from my dreams. I closed my eyes and revisited that dream. It was nothing but pure bliss, the absolute feeling that everything was going to be all right, that everything would be fine if I was with her. I had never felt that way before, and very likely never will. This brought my mind back into my body and I saw that my right hand was splayed out, almost as if I was stroking hair. I frowned and studied this unfamiliar action with a curious attitude. I blamed it on the girl and shoved it deep inside my pockets. I would rather an uneventful day then a day jam-packed with surprises. Putting my thumb in my mouth and biting the end of it I walked through the school gates with a lost expression.

My mind lost in a sea of thought, my body acted of its own will, dodging and weaving past the early-birds and turning corners. Without realising it I arrived at the parade grounds. My almost lifeless eyes found a spot near one of the overhead poles and decided there would be a good place to sit and think. Dumping my bag beside me, I brought my knees up and hooked my arms around them. Anchoring my body there, I thought about the recent turn of events.

I had met her, we talked, and she left. These in their right should be simplistic things that shouldn't bother me. But the simple fact is that because they bothered me is why it bothered me. Why was my mind fixated on her, why couldn't I accept the fact that she is real, and that we talked? I ruled out possible afflictions. After crossing out plague, and brain tumour, I started on emotions. I considered hate, envy, curiosity, greed, pride, wraith, sad, happy, nothingness. All didn't meet the requirements needed to know of my mental assailant. I rethought them on my fingers and dropped them off one by one. When I reached the bottom of the list I groaned in frustration but realised I had two fingers still up. I thought of what I could have missed when it dawned on me. They were Love and Lust.

"No, no, no, no, NO!" I shouted at the top of my voice. Luckily I was the only one around as most people arrive just before classes begin. I buried my head in my hands and furiously shook it. I had never experienced any of these before so I only had other sources on how it felt. Books, movies and plays were the only things I had to go on. This is all fine and good but the last bit usually involves them confessing their love at the beach in moonlight or in some exotic place while they embrace. If I was suffering from these symptoms I would have to give up on those bits. Yet still I refused to believe it. I put it down as a yearning to know more about the girl and nothing more.

Soon, more and more students filed in the assembly area. They chatted in their private little groups, staring down anyone foolish enough to walk past them. I never understood the whole "Social Groups" thing. I preferred some things simple and some complex, relationships with friends was in the category of simple. People saw me as a loner a lot, I guess it's because I preferred to sit by myself a lot. Not that I cared, I just normally had a lot of stuff on my mind. Speaking of mind, Shikamaru silently sat beside me, and said in his bored voice. "Hi."

"What…. Oh hi." I said with surprise clearly evident in my voice. "You're here early. Normally you come with only a few minutes to go."

"Actually I got here a bit late." The second he finished that sentence the bell went off.

As we trudged to first period, a worried feeling gnawed inside me. Tobi had never taken a day off, even when he arrived at school with his voice in shambles; skin all clammy and tired eyes. He made a promise to himself that he would have a perfect attendance record. And he took promises seriously. Had something happened to him, was he lying down somewhere in pain? That wasn't possible; Tobi was just too strong for that. If not that then what else? A picture sprung up of him tied up in ropes in a dark and musty cellar somewhere. No, highly unlikely. I forced this problem out of my head. It wouldn't do him any good if I just stood there and think about it. If he didn't arrive by the end of the day I would go searching for him, there now I can relax. I hope.

The morning periods were dull and flavourless without Tobi around, even during morning break I just sat there in my thinking pose, trying not to think but finding it inevitable. Shika just sat there eating, but with concern on his face. The next lessons where more or less the same, little excitement, little attention. I had been caught out numerous times staring into space. My mind was in hyper drive about Tobi. He has to be alright, he has to be alright, he has to be alright. The lunch bell rang out and I and Shika sat in our usual place in the assembly point. I stood there yet again in my pose while Shikamaru put his bag behind his head and tried to nap. I scowled at his lack of caring even though I was sure he cared deep down. I decided a walk was what I needed the most and set off in no set direction.

While drifting aimlessly in the school I eventually found myself in the front garden. It was never used as too many people preferred indoor to the outdoors. But today someone was sitting there. It was a blonde haired girl sitting on of the green benches. I followed her movements as she pulled back a strand of hair and kept staring ahead.

"Umm hello?" I half asked half greeted. She turned her head and I gasped. It was her.

"Oh, hello." She said in that silky voice.

Taking a deep breath I sat down beside her. If she had any objections she didn't voice them.

"If you don't mind me asking, why are you here by yourself? Don't you have your group or something?" I asked hoping that I didn't sound like a stalker.

"Well you see, I just moved here and I have no friends. Besides, most people don't seem to like me very much. So I am used to being alone." She said with her head dipped a little.

"Why don't people like you? I see nothing wrong with you." As soon as I said it I regretted it instantly. If I could see my face it would be as red as Tobi's shirt.

"People just say that I am too distant at times. It's fine, really. It was very sweet of you to say that."

I turned my face away so she couldn't see how red it had become.

"What about you," she continued "don't you have a group?"

I slightly hesitated before answering. "Yes I have a group, but it is kind of small. We are seen as the outcasts, but I don't care really. They are the best friends anyone could have and I have no problems with how people see me."

She turned her head to me and gave me her full attention. I practically melted at her glance. "You are a curious boy. Can I know your name?"

"S-ssure, its K-Kabuto." I stammered.

"Hmm, Kabuto. Well then, Kabuto, it was very nice talking with you. Goodbye." She said before getting up and walking away.

"Wait! What is your name?"

She turned around and flashed the most beautiful smile. It was like it was made for that exact moment. "It's Ren." Then she was off.

I just sat there for a bit then walked off back to Shika with a very uncharacteristic smile on my face.