Just so everyone knows, I'm v much open to suggestions about where you do and/or do not want this story to go. So let me know!

Chapter 2 'Everything's Not Lost'

Three months later…

"Hey! Get up!"

He thinks it's a dream at first. A really loud dream.

Then he feels something hit his head, and realises that he's definitely not dreaming anymore.

To be honest, he wasn't really asleep anyway. Nowadays, he just seems to lay in bed, like all day.

He figures that he's kind of... depressed.

"Woah woman, calm down." Baze sits up, shielding his face from any further potential attacks.

She throws open the curtains before turning on him again, "How long is this going to go on for Baze?"

This wake-up call is not putting him in a very good mood, at all. "What are you talking about?"

"Not turning up to family events, or Lux's school things, or from the looks of it, not even leaving the house." Cate's eyes sweep disapprovingly across the dirty room.

"Lux knows that she has my full support and that I'm..well… always there in spirit." He finishes lamely.

"That's a pathetic excuse and you know it."

"Well it's the truth."

"No, the truth is that you're trying to avoid me and Ryan, at any cost. Even your own daughter's happiness."

"I'm not avoiding Ryan.." He sounds petty, but it's the first and only thing that comes into his head.

Cate sighs. "How long is this going to go on for Baze?" His first urge is to be a smart ass and point out that she's already asked him that question. But he suppresses it, because the question has been put in a completely different context, and maybe it has something to do with the way she's looking at him right now but he doesn't feel like being a smart ass anymore.

"I don't know Cate…" He's sitting on the edge of his bed, his back turned to her as she's standing near the window. "I know I've been a complete douche these last few months, it's just…"

She interrupts him, her voice still sounds tight, but it has softened. "I understand Baze."

"Do you though?" He says it without any hostility or snarkiness. It just kind of comes out of his mouth before he can stop it. She seems a little surprised at his response, but quickly regains her composure.

"The past is in the past Baze. It's happened and we have to move on. It's the only way."

Baze stands up and faces her. She tries to stop the shock she feels from registering on her face. He looks tired, really tired. His hair has become a dirty mess and he has these massive black bags underneath his eyes. Those eyes. That's what shocks her the most…how dead they look.

"I'm trying Cate." His voice is pleading. "It's just… there's this voice in my head, you know? And it's always there, reminding me, taunting me about that night."

She looks down, avoiding his gaze.

"I know you said it's in the past, but for me, it's now and it'll probably be tomorrow. I don't want to feel this way, but I can't make it go away."

"Baze…"

"No listen Cate, I'm not saying this to try and steal you away from Ryan, or whatever, I just… well, you did ask. And I felt like being honest - you did always say you wanted me to be honest with you." He attempts a smile, although he's not sure if that's what makes it onto his face. He thinks it probably looks more like a scowl.

She only nods.

"And you know I don't want to be missing these moments in Lux's life, but for right now, it's less painful for me to miss them then to have to see you, with him."

It was weird, being this honest with her. They haven't really spoken, like at all, since the wedding. And even before the wedding, he hadn't really verbalised how he felt, at least to her.

There is a certain relief in being so honest though.

Neither speak for a few moments. He thinks this conversation was long overdue, but at least now it's all out in the open. Maybe this was the first step in him finally moving on.

Her voice is barely over a whisper when she speaks up and there's this weird look on her face that he can't quite read. "I'm sorry for how messed up everything got."

He thinks about what she says before he answers.

"Me too."

And then there's nothing really left to say. Cate doesn't look at him as she leaves the loft, and as soon as he hears the front door click shut, he falls back onto the bed.

He lays there for a while, replaying what just happened in his mind. He suddenly feels drained, but not in the same way he has since the wedding.

For the first time in a long time his mind seems less chaotic. Almost peaceful.

And within seconds, he's fast asleep.

Three weeks later…

He's okay.

Not great, but definitely good.

It's been a gradual thing, and he's still got a little way to go.

He's been going for runs in the morning though. It's weird because Baze has never been a morning person, but he decides it's time for a change.

Yeah, change is good.

He's also shaved, showered and got a haircut. After all, he couldn't turn up looking like a homeless person to Cate and Ryan's. They had invited him over for dinner, which he's sure was at Lux's behest. Just like it was at his daughter's insistence that he accept the invitation.

Truth be told, even though he may have been doing okay, he doesn't think that any definition of okay meant that he could get through a whole dinner with Cate and Ryan. It just didn't seem like a very good idea. But Lux was the one who had orchestrated the whole thing, and she had seemed so excited.

And he owes her this, after letting her down so much these last few months.

He's knocks on the door and waits. Nervous would be an understatement right now.

He can see the silhouette of someone coming through the glass door and braces himself for what's about to come next.

"Hey man, come on in."

"Sorry I'm late." Baze steps in past Ryan.

"No problem. Cate still hasn't finished cooking anyway."

"Uhh Cate's cooking?"

Ryan laughs. "Yeah, but don't worry, I've been helping her."

Both men step into the kitchen. It's the first time Baze has seen her since she had barged into his loft. Her hair is longer.

"Hey."

She's busying herself around the kitchen, and only looks up momentarily after he's spoken. "Hi Baze.. uh Lux is in the lounge room."

"Oh cool. Thanks, I'll just…" And without missing a beat, he quickly slips out of the kitchen.

Their talk a few weeks ago really hasn't made it less awkward. Before the wedding, they had finally reached this point where they felt comfortable around each other, and even enjoyed the other's company. Now it was like the last 6 months hadn't happened, and they were back to square one.

She had become such a big part of his life, and now he barely saw her. Hell, he couldn't even look her in the eye.

Baze hangs out with Lux, flicking through various channels, not really watching one certain thing. He has missed his daughter. Not that she hasn't been there for him over these last few months, because she has, every step of the way. But he misses appreciating her as much as he should have. That was one thing that was definitely going to change.

Cate and Ryan stay in the kitchen, and leave Baze and Lux to themselves. When dinner is finally ready, Ryan calls them in.

As they're walking into the dining room Baze makes a mental note to himself to try and act normal.

"Wow, this looks great." He says, rubbing his hands together.

"Yeah, I'm starved." Lux says taking a seat. Baze sits next to her.

Just before they all start, Baze speaks up, "Wait. Cate made this right?" He pauses and raises his hands. "I'll just let everyone else tuck in first then. You know, wait for any side effects - vomiting, death - that kind of thing."

Cate screws up her face at him before smiling. Ryan and Lux laugh. And for a moment it feels like before.

After that, they fall into small talk for the rest of the dinner. It's not completely easy or comfortable, but it's a start.

"Thanks for dinner guys."

"No problem. It's good to see you Baze, I feel like we haven't seen you in ages."

"Yeah well, just wanted to let you guys get adjusted as a family and whatnot."

They're interrupted when Lux shouts something from the other room.

"I'll check on her." Ryan says walking away towards the lounge room. "...What's up Lux?"

"You're a part of this family too." Cate says quietly.

"Thanks. It's okay though… I'm okay." He says reassuringly.

She lets out a sigh as she looks up at him. "I'm glad. I just don't want there to be this awk-"

"Guys you have to come and see this!" Ryan yells from the other room.

Baze and Cate look at each other before quickly joining Ryan and Lux in the TV room. Their daughter is in hysterics, hunched over in laughter from something on the TV.

Cate and Baze quickly move their way into the room and both turn to the TV simultaneously.

"It's that monkey!" Baze says excitedly, looking over at Lux.

"I know. And it's doing that thing again!" Lux says, still laughing.

"…the one we watched when you first found me." There's a nostalgia in his voice, but he's smiling.

Ryan's also laughing but Cate just looks highly disturbed. "That is so messed up."

They all turn to Cate. "What? Are you kidding? This is genius." Lux exclaims.

"What is so genius about a monkey smelling it's backside and falling over itself." Cate says, still not impressed.

"I think what you have to ask yourself, is what isn't genius about that?" Ryan replies.

"Exactly. Thank-you Ryan." Baze says throwing up his arms.

"And it's even more genius that it's doing it again." Lux adds.

"It looks like you're out-voted here Cate." Baze says laughing. "So I think we can all agree-"

"-I don't agree."

"That this video clip," Baze continues, ignoring Cate, "and the monkey sniffing his butt in the video clip is pure and utter genius." He strings out the last few words teasingly.

Everyone laughs as Cate gives up, flopping down onto the couch. And despite the slightly weird note the night has finished on and the very wrong images that have filled their eyes, Baze can't help but think that nothing has ever felt more right. At least compared to the last few months.

After they've all had their fair share of teasing Cate, Baze decides it's time to bow out. But even after he's left, driven back to his loft and is falling back into bed, he still can't wipe the smile off his face.