Previously on Here I Come, And I'm So Not Scared. by Sarah Jo Dantess:

Mary's goose-like guffaw echoed from a few seats down, and our entire group of dormitory girls broke into hysteric fits of laughter. I smiled to myself when it died down. There are so many things that come with friendship that can make a girl feel so much better.

Chapter 2

Hestia, Marlene, Alice, Dorcas and I lounged around the dormitory, sharing a healthy joke-off session before the surely murderous final O.W.L. tomorrow. At this point, I had studied so much that I had no choice but to trust myself to do as well as I could on the dreaded Transfiguration O.W.L.

"Okay, what do you call a fish without an eye?" Dorcas threw in, chewing on an Every Flavour Bean. She dug her fingers through the box, picked one out, and tossed it to Alice, who caught it and shoved it into her mouth without bothering to look at what kind it could be. Immediately her face twisted into a grimace. Her eyes began to water and she coughed.

"Really, Dorky? You gave me pepper? I thought you were a nice person," she hacked, scraping her tongue with her fingers. I and the three other girls wrinkled our noses.

"I am!" Dorcas said defensively. Hestia shook her head and held up her hands.

"Anyway, no, Dorcas, I don't know what you call a fish without an eye. What is it?" she asked. Dorcas cleared her throat and swallowed another bean before answering her.

"It's obvious, isn't it? A 'fshhhh,'" she said with a slight grin. My eyebrows and the corners of my lips, which had risen in curiosity, fell flat into a frown. I turned my head to look at Marlene, who was leaning against Hestia's bed next to mine. The look on her face was the shared expression of disappointment and confusion that mine held. Alice snickered with Dorcas and Hestia.

"Dory, that wasn't funny at all," I said point-blankly, disappointment evident in my tone. Dorcas shrugged.

"I know. That's why it s called a 'bad joke,'" she stated. I heaved myself back off of my stomach and sat up on my bed.

"When did we decide to have a 'bad jokes' contest? That one was just...cheesy," I told her. Marlene nodded her agreement with me. Hestia shrugged.

"No particular moment, but since that's where we seem to be now, I'd like to keep it going. Okay," she said, clapping her hands together and assuming an enthusiastic air, "What do trees and dogs have in common?"

I could predict this one. Really, cheesy jokes are so expected. But, I shrugged to let Hestia have the satisfaction of giving us the punch-line. I know I sure hate it when someone steals my punch-line. It's only fair, right?

Hestia smiled delightedly and squealed, "Bark!" Since she nearly fell off her bed and onto Marlene in a fit of giggles, I decided to help her out and faked laughter, which became quite real within moments. See, your body cannot tell the difference between real laughter and fake laughter, so if you start pretending to laugh, you actually laugh! It's sure a handy feel-good when you don't feel good, if you will.

Soon it seemed that the rest of the dorm had found my tactic quite profitable and we collapsed in a pile on the floor from trying to get each other to calm down only to pick up the giggles ourselves. It was a lovely bonding moment between us, if I do say so myself.

Too bad it had to end when Mary and Emmeline opened the dormitory door with a concerned look on her face. "Lily..." Emmeline said quietly.

I sat up, unsuspecting and still giggling, and asked, "What?"

"It's that Snape. He's outside the portrait hole." I scowled and groaned.

"Just tell him to go away. I don't ever want to see him again," I complained as I leaned back on Alice's stomach and made as if I were going to curl up and take a nap right there. I closed my eyes and pretended to snore. Mary shook her head.

"We already tried, Lil. He's saying he'll just sleep out there if he has to until you see him." My eyes popped open, at first wide, then in slits with frustration. Of course. This was so like Severus to not take no for an answer just to prove that he was right. Well, not this time.

I stood up and straightened my appearance before striding to the door. I stopped at the open doorway and faced my friends, whose faces all held worried looks. Hestia stood up and came over to me, giving my wrist a little squeeze.

"Do you want me to come with you?" she asked softly. I smiled sadly at her and shook my head.

"No, Hestia. This won't take long. Thank you," I said to her. I turned back to the girls who seemed to be wishing me the best of luck with just their eyes. I smiled at them. How did I get the most wonderful girls in the world as my now best friends? My expression became serious once again as my task overcame my thinking. "I'm going to end this once and for all," I said to them before closing the door and gliding swiftly down the stairs.

There weren't many people in the common room, but when I stepped off the stairs and marched to the portrait hole, those who were there, like a couple of fourth and third-years, a handful of first-years, and a few seventh-years, promptly turned their attention to me. I nodded politely at the group of first-years as I passed. Honestly, you'd think people don't have their own lives, or something.

I was ready to crash through that portrait hole and release my wrath, but I stopped abruptly just in front of it to gather myself. Calm down, Lily. He doesn't deserve that much emotional investment from you, I reminded myself. I glanced back through the common room. A light streaming onto the stairs, a crack in our dormitory doorway, and several pairs of eyes peeking through it told me that I still had my friends who cared about me.

Real friends, I thought, comforted, as I shot a small smile in their direction. The door shut hastily. I chuckled to myself, faced the portrait hole once again, and took a deep breath. My hands shaking from the knowledge of what I was about to do, I pushed open the door and hopped down onto the ground, almost landing on a heap of black robes that I recognized as my former friend. Git.

He stood up quickly, looking anxious to say something. My face became a blank stare as I folded my arms over my chest. I imagined growing a few inches taller and sprouting bigger muscles, and fangs poking out from under my lips. Then the things I would do to him...

I bit my lip and furrowed my eyebrows. I had better hurry up with this before I actually turned into a monster. "What?" I demanded.

"I'm sorry," he blurted out.

"I'm not interested," I spat before I could think. Before I could think again, it was his turn.

"I'm sorry!" he almost wailed. I nearly pitied him, but I knew what was best now.

"Save your breath," I told him. "I only came out because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here."

"I was. I would have done," he stammered, hands shoved into his pockets. "I never meant to call you Mudblood, it just - "

"Slipped out?" I accused. All feelings of sympathy for him were gone. He himself had reminded me why we were no longer friends just now, hadn't he? I went on. "It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you," I confessed, feeling like crying.

The look on his face was one of utter desperation, of hurt, which did not help me one bit. I forced myself to grit my teeth and push through. All those years we were friends...gone, in one day. All that time wasted. Completely wasted. I felt sick to my stomach, and more stupid than ever.

"You and your precious little Death Eater friends - " I snarled, waiting to see if he would protest. He didn't, just as I feared. " - you see, you don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can't you?" I raged at him, tears threatening to sting at my eyes.

No, Lily! You can't cry now! That will only make him feel sorry for you! You can't have that! I blinked hard, my eyebrows drawing further together. How he irked me! Snape opened his mouth as if to say something, but shut it, the words never leaving his lips. I huffed to myself. Let the job be done.

"I can't pretend anymore. You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine," I said, my final arrow loaded and poised at his heart. This was only good for the both of us, I had to tell myself.

"No - listen, I didn't mean - " he cried, the sense of urgency in his voice climbing. I cut him off, not wanting to hear it. I was in no mood to rationalize with him, nor did I want to after years of it, either.

" - to call me Mudblood?" I scoffed. "But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?"

I must have given him the most disrespectful look anyone on earth could give a person, because he seemed to struggle with what he could say to me to change my mind. Serves him right, I told myself. He lost every ounce of respect I had for him all by his bloody self. The job done, and myself wishing to hear no more, I climbed through the portrait hole and let it shut before he could say anything and before I let the few tears come. I had cried enough that day.

I darted through the common room, ignoring the stares (though most of the bystanders had cleared out, thank Merlin), and dashed up the stairs, through my door, and into my friends' waiting, outstretched arms. Thanks to them, it wasn't a long night, after all.