Grab a tissue, you'll need it.

Near sat on a rickety bench against a ratty wall in the subway station deep underground. His eyes stared listlessly at people rushing past him; people boarding newly-arriving subway trains, people darting every which-way with brief cases cursing and muttering, "I'm late. I'm so late." to themselves under their breath, people talking or chattering loudly on the phone, or just standing around tiredly waiting to board a train.

Near shivered uncomfortably. The air was very chilly underground and it constantly nipped at his skin. His pyjamas were too thin to insulate him from the benumbed atmosphere, and he didn't bring a jacket or a sweater.

But he didn't care. He just didn't care.

Some people gave the albino weird looks as they passed by nonchalantly. Looks that said, "What in the world is a weird scrawny kid in pyjamas doing at a subway station?"

But he didn't care. He just didn't care.

He continued to sit as still as a statue, heart pounding in his chest, waiting for the next subway train to arrive.

He was going to do it. He was going to step in front of the train and kill himself.

He briefly wondered what his blood would look like on the subway's walls.

Pushing the agonizing thought to the back of his mind, he fixed his eyes to continue to stare at the abandoned railway tracks, still waiting. Waiting, waiting. The seconds seemed to pass by frustratingly slow, as if the world wanted him to live a little longer.

Near was up to the point where he couldn't bother to live anymore. Mello's death was still crushing him, pounding him into the ground. Tearing his heart into a million pieces. And ripping him guiltlessly in half as if he was just a discarded piece of paper that had no use to anyone anymore. It was so bad and up to the point where he felt like nothing more than an abandoned toy left lying on the middle of the street, waiting fretfully to be run over by a car any moment. There was no purpose. No purpose.

He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block the tears from escaping his eyes as they began to well up behind them. Taking a deep breath and trying to calm himself, he opened them again and looked at the people beginning to gather around the platform.

Then, a lady with a chill voice came over the intercom. "The next subway train is bound to arrive in exactly thirty seconds. Thirty seconds," she repeated.

With one last swallow, Near stood up.

"Gevanni, do you know where Near went?" Commander Rester asked as he rushed back into the room, a worried expression scrawled on his face.

"No, why? Is he gone?"

"Yes, I looked everywhere and searched his room. I can't find him anywhere. And the trouble is is that he doesn't even go anywhere."

"Well, it won't hurt to look again."

Rester nodded. Gevanni stood up and walked towards Near's room, Rester at his heels, Lidner watching them go before returning back to her duties. Gevanni rattled the doorknob before pushing the door open and stepping inside. He scanned the entire room, which was very neat and organized. His eyes finally rested on a small folded piece of paper sitting on Near's bedside table.

You obviously didn't look hard enough to not notice this, Gevanni thought silently, referring to Rester. He picked up the paper, unfolded it and saw that it was a letter. He read the neat cursive writing out loud,

Dear Rester, Gevanni and Lidner,

If any one of you is reading this letter, I am probably dead by now, or close to being dead, for that matter. My mournings over Mello's death has done nothing, and it is too much to bear. I can no longer live with myself. I don't want to live anymore. I have no other purpose besides the investigation, which I have been neglecting greatly. But I am sure you don't need me anymore, since you have been doing a bang-up job of nearly deciphering the case, even without me. I am sure you will have the investigation figured out within a heartbeat. You are all talented. I am nothing anymore. I am choosing not to live. Do you see where I'm going with this? Do I need to say it?

Since I'm already dead, it's impossible to save me now, so I'll just tell you this: I committed suicide on January 28, 2010 at the International Subway Station.

Near

Rester's eyes got wider and wider as Gevanni read the note, nowhere believing what he's hearing. When Gevanni finished, he just stared at the piece of paper before rereading it again, wasting precious time.

"You... don't think h...he actually did it, do you?" Rester asked, choking out every word.

"I really want to believe that," Gevanni responded blankly. "But Near wouldn't joke about suicide, would he?"

Rester shook his head very slowly, the words from the note Near left all jumping around in his head. His head shot back up to meet Gevanni's eyes. "We have to go there. Now."

"What? But he's probably already dead by now."

"No.. no he can't be. But if he is, atleast we'll be the ones who see it happen so we can grieve for him."

Gevanni nodded, his eyes staring at the floor.

"Well, come on!" Rester urges, throwing his arm in the direction of the door. "We can't afford to waste time!"

Near heard the screeching of the train darting up the tracks. His hands trembled, but he forced them at his sides. Inhaling a deep, unstable breath, Near put one foot in front of the other. He walked mutely towards the unoccupied, staring straight ahead, not letting his eyes wander anywhere else. The train's noises got louder as it approached.

People started to point and gasp when Near stepped past the yellow line signalling you should never go any farther than that. The train's headlights bore through the darkness of the tunnel, bearing down on Near, who took one last step that laid his whole death before him.

He felt two pairs of large hands grip his shoulders and yank him back. Before Near could stumble away from the train, he felt an excruciating pain shoot up his leg as impact struck it. He fell back, stunned and in severe pain at the same time. His vision went black and fuzzy around the edges and he heard people screaming and saw them back away from the scene. Near looked up to see two familiar faces gazing down at him: Rester and Gevanni.

The throbbing pain made him nauseous, so nauseous that he couldn't take it any longer. His stomach churned and he started to throw up all over the ground. He felt a firm but gentle hand rub his back as he retched, soothing him and speaking calming words. But Near could barely hear them because he was starting to get dizzy and it wasn't long before his vision went black and he passed out.

A/N: Oh my. Wasn't that dreadful.

Side note: If no one could figure it out, Near's leg got hit by the train as it rushed past, in case you were like, "What?" But since all of you are so smart, I bet you could've figured it out on your own :)

Reviews make my day~! :)