-Lelianna-

Life in the castle had been easy, much too easy for my liking. I cursed myself every day for having ever pledge myself to the cause of Her Majesty. For whatever reason I had done it I could not remember it now. This place was like a lavish cage, one that I was itching to remove myself from. But here I was, accompanying Her Majesty to the throne room, to suffer through yet another day of politics. I withheld the urge to scream in complete dread, instead putting on my winning smile that seemed to encourage Anora greatly. She had often commented on it much to my dismay. I hadn't always been this discontent. Everyone expected me to be happy because I always had been. War and loss were lethal to happiness but what had proven even more lethal to my bright attitude was lethargy. There was no excitement anymore, and it was killing me, like a leech.

A stifled yawn pulled my attention to the stout shoulder beside me. Alistair, even after five years, was still as tall and awkward as he ever was; though he had learned to hide the awkward quirks behind responsibility and duty. I took comfort in the fact that I was not alone in my unending torment. That Alistair knew my pain all too well and that it too was eating him alive. Mechanically I took my place at Anora's right hand, her General at her left. Alistair glanced at me as he shifted into place, and I barely resisted the need to shudder. His eyes had changed I remembered. The fiery blue they had once been was gone; in its place was an emptiness that nothing could fill.

I had been angry when she left, and that anger was fueled every day by his pain. How could she leave him behind? How could she leave Ferelden behind? Wynne had tried to explain to me once why the Warden had left but I could not see the wisdom in it. Had I loved anyone as much as she had seemed to love him, I could not have left, no matter the price. But elves were strange in their thinking and I had long since stopped trying to understand them.

The morning wore on into afternoon as the Banns and Arls droned on about mindless subjects. My mind wandered off again, to avoid going insane with the dullness of the discussion around me. Life in the Chantry had not been for me, I had even forgotten my real reason for becoming a "sister". I had never been one to do as expected and everyone had expected me to return to my Chantry when the Blight had been stopped. I think perhaps I may have not gone back simply to do what was not expected. I shifted my weight for the third time that hour. These old men needed to hurry up. I tapped by fingers silently against my leg, stealing a glance at my counterpart.

The man had not moved an inch. Not once had he shifted or adjusted his armor. His eyes were glazed over, and the only give away he was not in fact a statue was the slight rise and fall of his chest. I shook my head slightly moving my gaze to the rest of the room. It was his way of dealing with the endlessness of the court. I often wondered to where he escaped. What memory was being relived behind his face of stone? It hurt to see what he had become, and my anger flared again. I hated her, I hated everything about her. For me our friendship had ended the day she broke his heart and vanished without even so much as a goodbye. One turn deserved another and I prayed every night that Andraste would see fit to rid Alistair of this nightmare. She had not as of yet answered my pleas.

Finally the day's proceedings came to an end. Tomorrow we would celebrate the fifth anniversary of the arch-demon's fall. There would be a festival and much for the Queen to do. I welcomed the distraction, but knew also the guard would have to be doubled. Alistair, would of course, see to those arrangements, and probably had already. Even in peace the Queen must be protected, even if it was from her own people.

Dinner wore on longer than I would have liked. Alistair was not present, he never was. There were no guests to entertain yet the queen always insisted on eating in the great hall. To keep up appearances. She had confided in me once. I rolled my eyes annoyed, fingering my dagger's hilt. I barely recognized Anora's voice.

"Is something wrong Leliana?" her voice rang out like a harp, though my skin crawled as though she were putting steel to the grinding stone.

"Just thinking of tomorrow, Your Highness; there shall be much for you to do." I answered, letting my hand drop to my side, my well practiced smile sliding into place.

"Yes that I shall." Anora sighed. "Has Alistair spoken of it? He speaks so little to anyone these days, and I would think the morrow would light some small joy in him."

"No my Lady, he has not." I replied. "I believe you would have better luck asking his mabari. He spends more time in its company than anyone else, outside of yours and the courts."

"Oh that creature is horrid." Anora whined, moving to sit by the fire place. "If it hadn't help save the realm I'd have turned it out years ago. Ugly, smelly, nasty thing that it is. I do wish he would let us be rid of it, or at the least send it to live the royal kennels."

I felt my blood boiling. The sudden thought to strangle her where she sat, occurred to me but I clenched my fists together instead, biting my tongue. She was so flippant and uncaring about other's feelings. Or perhaps there was something else, something beneath the simple dislike for the dog. I could not have been the only one to notice the gifts she showered upon Ferelden's General. Even for all that he shrunk from her. She had cornered him once at the Summer Solstice Ball. Eamon had suggested the two dance, and Alistair could find no escape and been forced to comply. After the dance, Alistair had withdrawn to the court yard and Anora had followed, determination written all over her face. She was used to getting her way. I had overheard Eamon joking with Teagen, that Alistair was the only man Anora could not win over by the batting of her eyes. Alistair had avoided any unnecessary contact with the Queen since that night and I really could not blame him.

"Sing me a tale, Leliana." Anora requested breaking through my thoughts like a battering ram. Plastering my practiced smile on my lips again I nodded. Glad for the distraction I picked up my lute from beside the fire place and perched upon the chair opposite Her Majesty. The mood for music struck Anora at such odd moments that I had placed lutes all about the castle, for times just like these. Clearing my mind I thought back to my childhood trying to find something I had not told in awhile. Just when I had decided to tell the tale of the fall of Orlais, another tune poured from my fingers.

****Oh I remember I recall

In a land so green the grass so tall

Where once he pledge his love to me

For a loyal knight was he.

The storms were raging on that night

We awakened from a stranger's light.

And through those chamber doors he came

Please come and help your king…

I watched him leave I watched him go.

As through the stormy night he trove

Ride high an' strong a mighty stead.

I whispered please come back to me.

And the fairies cried for me.

It's been eight months or even more

Since I heard the news I cried all more

I've seen the vision in my sites

A stranger called the Devil's Knight.

I run down to the ocean side

His horse so still his eyes so bright.

The hills stood startled by my cries,

The knife cuts deep I cannot die.

And the sea birds cry for me.

And when our loyal knight came home…

He found her dead, he found her gone.

And from that day he walked alone…

For…a…loyal…knight…was…he…****

"I believe I will retire for the night." Anora sighed, rising from her seat. I walked her back to her quarters as I always did. At her door I would leave the Queen in the hands of her night guard; two elves Tiza and Soris. Soris could hear a pin drop from one end of the castle to the other on a quiet night. And Tiza was so quick she would be down the street and around the corner before you realized your purse was gone. It was with them that I left Anora every night, and I was comfortable with that.

"I shall see you tomorrow Leliana." Anora bade me. "Goodnight."

I nodded respectfully, as she turned and disappeared into her apartments. Once she was gone I hurried down the hallway. I had mere hours until I had to be standing at her door again, and I was going to make every second count. Five years was enough, it was time for the general to move on.

****The Knight of Dublin Castle belongs to Darby Devon. All rights to this folk song belong to her****