Apologise for making you wait such a long time for an update. I hope people still want to read this. I suppose it is the one good thing about Alison taking a break. I should be able to update a lot of old stories and not have so many new ideas constantly. As always I love hearing back from readers.
"Come on hurry up!" Michelle hissed anxiously to herself. Quickly settling on taking the stairs rather than the lift that seemed impossibly slow to even reach her floor. She did not think she could stand still for the time it took the metal box to clime four floors anyway, not when she felt as if she would burst from the cold urgency and dread that flooded her veins.
The hospital was one big frustrating maze she did not have time for. Every slow and mundane interaction felt like another obstacle. Hobbling patients, uninterested nurses and porters with trolleys literally blocking her way when she had fought, prayed and begged so hard for this day.
They had found her.
Trouble was until she confirmed it with her own eyes Michelle could not convince herself that they had found her alive. It seemed so impossible after so much cruelty and uncertainty.
So she did not really care when she snapped at an elderly couple because in the big scheme of things manners meant nothing when another person she loved might be dead and she still couldn't even find the right fucking ward.
Her feet already ached. Michelle had received the call that set it all in motion a little over half an hour ago and the only shoes she had been able to find were a fierce looking pair of five inch stilettos she had worn to impress at a lunch meeting the previous day with one of the factories clients.
The whole thing had felt painfully fake and unimportant while unimaginable, horrible things were most probably happening to her missing friend. Trouble was she couldn't stop herself imagining all the things the woman was going through even as she talked over figures and deadlines, her smile so tight it may have well been a grimace. But she knew she had to keep the business functioning and ready for when Carla came home. Because she had to believe she would come home. So every waking moment when she wasn't trying to find her friend she had been working.
Maybe she would laugh later that through the horror of it all, even with her impressively large shoe collection she had only been able to find the stupid stilettos still sitting where she had kicked them off in the hallway the night before. There was an irony she couldn't contemplate when she had been close to tears just because she couldn't find her car keys.
In her hurry she had almost tripped or slipped on numerous occasions. She clutched her phone, keys and purse in her hands because she had not remembered to pick up her bag. She knew she looked a bit of a state with no make up on her tense face and a worn grey tracksuit she had thrown on just to slob around the flat in before they had called. People were staring at the overwrought woman and her un-matching outfit and it had never mattered less. If anything she wanted to scream at them how meaningless it all was.
She wished she had been more prepared. Every other night she had been. For what she was prepared for she didn't know but had done everything she could to find Carla even if it just meant wondering the streets for most of the night. Doing all the little things the police wouldn't do. It had been Maria who had persuaded her to take the night off. That one early night didn't mean that they were giving up hope just that they needed to look after themselves before they looked after Carla. Michelle had given in finally because she knew she was close to burning out when even her bones ached and she was left with an almost constant headache.
She came to a dead end with a small huddle of half a dozen beds. A middle aged man was in one with two teenagers sitting at his side. They all looked up expectantly at the clicking of her heels and she felt a wave of guilt at her intrusion, all too aware that this place rarely brought good news for anyone. She ducked her head, momentarily embarrassed before wordlessly doubling back on herself, consciously forcing herself to slow down enough to read the directions for the right ward.
She wished she didn't have to do this alone, wished she had realised how alone she would feel without her sister in law and closest friend without any of them having to go through so much. And most of all she wanted to make it up to Carla. To prove that she would be there for her but as the corridor opened up into the ward she had been trying to reach all along she slowed.
There was a uniformed police officers talking to a nurse and suddenly Michelle was overwhelmed and afraid because it all felt too big and disgustingly real for her to handle alone, because through every other horrible event she had always had family. She wanted Ciaran to come back. Wanted the way his easygoing, charming manner calmed her when she was being highly strung and his quiet support always made her feel capable and loved.
There was a missed call from Maria on her phone. She had noticed it while she had been waiting for a free parking space. But she wouldn't return the call till she actually understood what was happening; besides the other woman was home alone with her sleeping son so she would not be able to do anything but worry.
Michelle hoped that the call had been to inform her that Peter had turned up finally and that he wasn't passed out drunk and choking on his vomit somewhere. For all his determination and help Michelle could not but to grow more and more disgusted with the man. They were all desperate and worried but not all of them had the luxury of crawling inside a bottle to forget it all. That wasn't helping any of them and it especially was not helping Carla.
Truth be told even as she had swallowed her concerns and worked closely with Peter and Maria ever since they quickly realised that the police would be little help she still though of him as a liability. It had not taken long for the affair to become public knowledge under all the scrutiny and Michelle still felt a large amount of sympathy for all the pain and humiliation it had caused Leanne and his son.
But quietly she was also concerned over Carla agreeing to be his other woman. That she had been sleeping with him so soon after she had been raped. Maria had tried to convince her that her fears were unfounded but Michelle had never been convinced that Peter had not been taking advantage of her friend during the lowest point of her life. She had tried to demand an explanation from Peter but a mixture of worry, anger and alcohol did nothing but increase his natural defensiveness.
She would not be reassured or convinced into believing the relationship had been entirely healthy until she had a chance to talk to Carla herself about it. It just was that she had got so used to imagining the worst case scenarios because if experience had taught her anything over recent years it was that the worst usually did happen.
"You found her? You found Carla?" She demanded, moment of hesitation over because every fibre of her body compelled her towards finally seeing her friend again. The not knowing had been hell. Having to carry on with day to day life not knowing and not being able to do anything to make the situation better, she had never hated anything so much.
Three sets of eyes glanced in her direction as she jogged towards them. Michelle wanted to nervously ring her hands or to grab someone by their collar so they would hurry up and talk but she had too much to hold. She really should have taken a bag or just left everything in the car.
"If you would come and sit down Michelle." One of the officers tried trying to gesture her towards a quiet corner away from the nurse's station. She couldn't remember the man's name but recognised him as someone who she had interacted with on numerous occasions over the past month. His soft spoken politeness had never been so aggravating.
Michelle shook her head and frowned. "Just tell me you've found her." She all but growled.
She watched closely as the officer exchanged glances with the others before he nodded confirmation. "We found her."
Something crossed between a sob and sigh of relief escaped Michelle's throat. "And she's alive?" She asked timidly.
The officer hesitated like he really hated the idea of revealing such information in such a public place. From their prior interaction Michelle had assumed he was a firm believer in the rules. She remembered thinking that it would be nice to share that kind of conviction in something when life was so uncertain.
"She's alive. The doctor will want to talk to you but physically she's in a better shape than we expected. Right now she's sedated." The strange female officer interrupted. There was a sensible intelligence in her grey eyes that made Michelle think she could almost believe her.
Instantly Michelle dropped her belongings to the floor. Her phone smashed into pieces but she did not notice as she pressed a hand over her mouth and tried to stop her legs giving way.
"But how… where was she? Who…" She stumbled for what question to ask first, biting her lip in the hopes the discomfort would focus her mind.
"It was him wasn't it? Frank. Why didn't you believe me that it was that bastard who took her? Of course it was him!" She let out a bitter anger because she did not need to have them say a word to confirm what she had already knew.
The police had seemed so useless. Frank had been investigated and the next thing she knew Michelle was being told there was no evidence that he was involved. If only they had listened to her and ignored proper procedure they could have found her weeks ago.
It was only then she noticed a hunched figure sitting off to the side. She quickly recognised the smaller woman as Frank's mother and her anger grew.
"What is she doing here?" She growled and stalked towards the older woman.
Anne looked up at her with puffy red eyes. Her expression mirrored a scared animal and seemed so out of place on her usually stern face.
"You have no right to be anywhere near Carla. This is all your fault. You stood by and let your rapist pig of a son destroy her life! I bet you knew he took her. They should arrest you for what you've done. You shouldn't be allowed to just sit here like you haven't done anything." Michelle towered over the older woman as she ranted.
She thought she might strangle her even as Anne looked so apprehensive and haunted. The restraining arm around her waist was the only thing holding her back and she fought against it. This woman was the representation of evil as far as Michelle was concerned; she wanted to have her retribution on her just as much as she did her son.
"I…I didn't know!" Anne stuttered, cowering even as Michelle was pulled away from her.
"You have to believe me that I never thought my son capable of such…" She trailed off as she hiccupped, tears streaming down her face. Michelle stopped struggling, strangely fascinated with how old and silly the woman suddenly seemed.
"You found her?" Michelle asked already knowing the answer in the complete look of devastation on the other woman's face.
"I was worried about my Frank. All the stress of the investigation. He was being so secretive so I followed him. I didn't know…I cold have never known." Anne's sharp and clear accent as she spoke distantly clearly lost in her memory and shock. "If I could just talk to him. I'm sure there is a reasonable explanation. My son is not evil, he just can't be."
The police officers tried to reason with her and pull her away again but Michelle pushed them away and ignored them. The denial did nothing but make her blood boil further but she restrained herself finding something like pity for such a pathetic state of a woman.
"Even now. Even after his been caught you still can't face the truth." She whispered bitterly. She was growing tired of obstacles and other people's problems when all she wanted to do was to get to Carla.
Anne's mouth pulled at the corners as she winced. Behind Michele the softly spoken police officer shifted his weight from foot to foot. Dread hit Michelle like falling into icy water.
"Please tell me you have locked that fucking bastard up."