Nagisa, the assassin with a mouth

Plot: The one thing Nagisa had to remember his father were Deadpool comics. After his friends are kidnapped, the blow to his head reawakens his memories of these comics, and now that he has some assassin skills….OC! Nagisa & Kayano, maybe a harem….Will take ideas. Co-writing welcome!

Chapter 3: The Ex-man meets the X-Men, Nagisa and Kayano make a Date? DEADPOOL ADOPTS!

Mrotrax: Am I going to have to expect that from now on? I write a decent title, then you add a self-serving one in?

Deadpool: Hey, you knew the risks when you started writing a fic with me in it!

Mrotrax: ….True.

Deadpool: AND DON'T RUSH THE CHAPTER THIS TIME!

Mrotrax: …No promises, I was planning on releasing two on Friday to commerate your movie, but school got in the way…

Deadpool: I let it slide this time. Reading week and all.

A few days had passed since Deadpool's arrival to Kunugigaoka Junior High School and Nagisa's revenge on the Principal.

"Which is still a total DC reference and proof you shouldn't be writing this fic!"

Wade…

"Sorry, shutting up."

The school was currently being audited, and things were not looking for the main building; on top of the cruelty that was encouraged amoung students and teachers, it was revealed that at least one teacher, Kensaka Ono, was corrupt; Nagisa took joy in the fact that the man who'd called him 'unteachable brat' was now on suspension.

The principal had retreated into his office and refused to comment on any media questions. And the main building students were now being partially villainized by the media covering the events

This brings us to the class of hoped assassins and their newest teacher:

"Vone of zhe most important aspects of the assassinating biz is zhe getting avay once the job is done, yeah?" Deadpool, garbed in an Einstein like wig and white labcoat explained, pointing to a crudely drawn stick figures bleeding and running away. "Its all vell and good to kill zhe target, but if you get caught, vell, you suck as an assassin, don't ya know?"

"Can't believe we never thought of that." Karasama sighed, embarrassed an insane Canadian Mercnary that had had been thrown into the mix

"Technically, I'm AMERICAN, I just got my powers in Canada."

"Oh, I'd thought of it." Koro-Sensei smiled. "In two months, we'd start practicing on various levels of difficulty."

"Does he have to speak like that?" Bitch-sensei asked.

"That's one of Wade's most defining traits, you can never really tell what he's up to or thinking." Koro Sensei smiled. "Heck, he's actually containig himself very well."

The lecture was interrupted by the rumbling of something outside the building, which began shaking.

Nagisa and Yazuki, being comic/manga fans, suddenly lost their voices and pointed in awestruck joy.

"I think I just peed a little." Nagisa weakly gasped.

….

"Yeah, I did the same first time I saw that badboy." Deadpool smirked under his mask.

Just then, a group of the oddest yet at the same time, most badass people descended the plan; a man of metal, a demonic looking young man, a man with a visor covering his eyes and his redheaded wife, a blue ape like man and a short man with claws coming out of his hands. Then, two women with black. Brown hair.

"Who're they?"

"The X-Men!" Yazuki beamed. "Born with superhuman abilities, they've dedicated their lives to protecting the balance between humans and mutants, while at the same showing that being different is nothing to be ashamed of."

"I do so hate those comic books." Nightcrawler sighed.

"Da." Colossus groaned. "They never get my eyes right."

"So….whatcha doing?" Deadpool asked. "To answer that question for myself, I heard the blue haired kid…

"Nagisa."

"Whatever, was copying my shtick rather poorly, so I came to teach him how to properly fanboy to the awesomeness that is DEADPOOOOOL!"

Cyclops fired a laser at the merc with a mouth's face, sending him crashing to the floor.

"You know that isn't going to work bright-eyes." Logan noted.

"Any second without his self-serving monloguing voice is a blessing." Cyclops sighed. "Besides, less time to flirt with the girls."

"Oh, is my Scottie jealous?" Jean Grey teased her husband.

"The less men who look at you, the better."

"For once we agree on something." Wolverine sighed.

….

"How about we all go inside and talk?" Karasama weakly suggested, not really sure how to handle the fact that the area was now practically littered with superhumans.

XXXX

"This isn't a school." Kitty Pride said. "This is an outhouse."

"Took da words out of my mouth." Rouge admitted. "Seriously, even Mystique and Magento aren't this cheap. And y'all kids are being asked to save the world, don't it make sense y'all at least get a nicer looking interior?"

"Well, we are the loser class…" Meg sighed, the other students following.

"There's no such thing as a loser class." Jean told the students. "Nobody learns the same way; some learn by repetition and note taking, other by experience. Something that your school has clearly forgotten. You are all great in some way; I can tell that much without reading your minds."

The whole room suddenly stiffened.

"Relax, when you've been reading minds as long as I have, you get used to the dirty thoughts." Jean admitted. "And trust me, I've read far dirtier minds."

"Even…?" Touka asked.

"Yes, Irina's nothing knew."

Bitch-sensei grumbled and then returned to a state of depression when she saw the fantastic figures the women in the group had.

"So there you have it, lesson 1." Wolverine grumbled. "No such thing as a loser student or class, can we move on?"

"What about Jubilee?" Deadpool asked,

SHINK!

Logan growled and almost rammed his claws into his former teammate's eyes.

"Disrespect her one more time and NO healing factor will fix what I do to you."

"Please, I killed you once, I can do it again." Deadpool smirked under his mask. "Oh man, does it feel go to say that."

"You need your carbonanium sword." Nagisa noted.

"Don't ruin my moment, kid."

"Call me by my name." Nagisa grumbled.

"Moving on!" Scott roared, silencing the banter. "Sorry, just tired. Flying the X-wing and all."

"Am I really that much of a concern?" Deadpool asked. "What about Magento and them?"

"Logan over here demanded it." Nightcrawler pointed impishly.

"Well, as great as it to have such…well rounded and famous professionals," Karasama butt in. "I relcunatnly have to ask you to leave, for the sake of the area and the possible assassins after Koro…"

"That is no longer an issue."

From outside the door, a bald man in a wheelchair and green suit entered the classroom

"Baldie!" Deadpool beamed, hugging the leader and founder of the X-men. "Hows it going cueball? Heh. Cueball. It's funny cause your bald and this is your 'cue' to tell us how life just got easier."

SHINK

"Ease off him, bub." Wolverine growled, leveling his claws in front of Deadpool's eyes.

"Oaky, commander buzzkill." Deadpool grinned, walking off with his hands raised.

"Thank you Logan." Xavier sighed. "Good day children, as Nagisa will be sure to tell you, I'm Professor Charles Xavier, leader and founder of the X-men and the Institute of Gifted Individuals."

"But which he means mutants, or people born with powers." Beast explained.

"But you're a comic book character!" one student hollered.

"Hey, all fiction has some source of realism." Yuzuki pointed out

"Indeed, young lady." Deadpool and Xavier said together.

"As I was saying, with some help from the other telepaths in our group, I've forwarded the past memories of your teacher to the world leaders and all known organizations out for him. The hit on his head should be suspended within an hour, and the real culprit shall be searched for."

Karasama and Bitch-sensei, suddenly 'knowing' something, were shocked, amazed and a little touched with Koro-sensei's past and his motivations for teaching.

"Then what's the point of us even putting up with this octopus?" Terasaka asked. "And how come we don't get to know any of this?"

"I get the feeling you ain't the cheeriest apple in the tree, aint'cha?" Wolverine asked the troublemaker.

"While we mostly came to check on Wade at Logan's request," Xavier finished, "We also came here in search of possible HUMAN X-men members."

That got everyone's attention.

"It's all well and good to show mutants aren't evil, but it will most defiantly help our case if we have some skilled humans."

"To show that you can to great things no matter what?" Rio and Yuzuki asked.

"Indeed." Charles smiled, then turning to Koro-Sensei. "And as to why you were not told your teacher's past; Koro feels you should reach a certain level of…expertise, as it were, before that can happen."

"Minus Nagisa, Rio and Karma." Okuda whispered, but everyone heard…and agreed.

"Alright, gym time."

XXXX

"Are ya'll sure it was a god idea to let Logan by the gym teacher?" Rogue asked. "This ain't the Danger Room."

"He's holding back considerably." Scott noted. "And besides, would you rather have Deadpool teaching them something like 'DODGE!' or some crazy dance?"

"Point taken, boss man."

Logan's borderline century of combat experience made him 10 times stronger than Karasama; none of the kids had managed to land a hit on him; not even Nagisa with Soy-Sauce and I can't believe it's not Soy Sauce or Karma's unpredictable traps and fake outs.

"I think we can call it a day." Logan sighed, taking a drag of his cigarette. "You kids did okay."

"Owww…"

"The pain…"

"I'm feeling things I didn't know I had…"

"What are you, metal?"

Colossus frowned, only for Kitty to reassure him everything was okay.

"Not entirely…"

Logan suddenly tensed, sensing a viper about to slam its jaw onto him. Acting on instinct, he unsheathed his claws and…

Destroyed Soy Sauce and I can't believe it's not Soy Sauce. He had no time to apologize, as Karma jumped on and rammed chili sauce and mustard into his nostrils only to be thrown away.

Logan smiled. Karma smiled

"I like you two."

Oh god, everyone realized. What had they done?

"That kid with the blue hair…" Logan smirked. "He just used Ki. And how old is he?"

Throughout all of this, Deadpool and Koro-Sensei had been hiding in the trees and admiring the rears and fronts of the female X-men….At least, they were until Jean levitated the tree upside down.

Koro-sensei suddenly felt…weak, almost normal. Rogue on the other hand…

"BOOYAH!" She burst into flight, racing around the world and grabbing a few knickknacks from all over. "Storm says hi, she and T-Challa got Wakanda back. And doc, you should get in contact with Dr. Doom, he apparently has the perfect plan to help us out. Oh! And Reed says he's working on stabilizing Koros condition."

"..How?"

"I can move at Mach 5." Koro explained. "And not to brag, I am a genius in most fields. Heck, I was smarter than the so called brilliant scientists who turned me into the octopus before you."

He then remembered the rest of what Rogue had said:

"Wait…He can do that?"

Charles smiled.

"Reed Richards is the smartest man in the world, and like you said, the people who made you were only brilliant in degree. Knowing him, he's already halfway through."

The two downed professional assassins had used this time to escape.

"So Koro, what can you actually tell me about blue hair?" Deadpool asked once they'd caught their breath.

"Why the interest?"

"You heard Wolvie; the kids got ki and worships me…A little fine tuning by yours truly and a few buds of mine, and he'll probably be the single most badass preteen in Japan. And as easy as it could be for me to simply read the previous chapters…"

Koro-Sensei's smile grew

"He's more like you then you realize." Was all the octopus said before returning to help his students back to their feet and washi them up.

XXX

All in all, it was a great day for Class-E, and they could honestly say they were a little sad to see it end.

"Hey Kaede, wait up for a second!"

Nagisa, feeling his will leaving, asked

"Would you…like to check out that new pudding restaurant sometime?"

Kayano smiled and whispered into Nagisa's ear:

"Pick me up on Saturday at lunchtime?"

Not trusting his voice, Nagisa nodded.

"See you then." Kayano smiled as she closed the door, staying long enough to her Nagisa let out a whoop and race back to the forest behind the Class-E building.

"Where you off to?"

He stopped and turned to see his idol looking impishly at him.

"She's a cutie, I'll give you that." Deadpool mused, then unsheathing his swords and handing them to Nagisa. "I saw what Logan did to your pipes, kudos to making him unsheathe his claws by the way….and I know how they must've meant something to you

"B-but…."

"Take them." Deadpool smiled. "I got bigger ones."

Nagisa delicately took the swords and gave them a try; much lighter than the pipes and he could actually

"Say Nagisa…" Deadpool said. "How about, instead of camping out in the woods, you come to NY with me and stay a spell? The X-Jet'll pick up and drop us off…and this way, you can really see how I live my awesome life."

It took all of Nagisa point two milseconds to come to his decision: He hugged Deadpool and nodded his head.

The Merc with a mouth look around, slightly embrassed…but then he smiled and patted Nagisa's head.

"Come on, the jets waiting."

The two climbed into the X-jet where they took over the radio, and started playing John Cougrar, John Deer, John 316

"This is going to be a long flight…." Logan sighed.

XXX

Hell's Kitchen

Copycat, alias Vanessa Geraldine Carlysle-Wilson, had joined Jessica Jones and Iron Fist at the bar Luke Cage owned. It was a slow day and without Wade around, the shapeshifting viglantee caught up with some of neighbor fellow superheroes.

"So, how's the baby?" Vanessa asked

"Danielle's behaving herself." Jessica smiled at her daughter, tickling her toes. "No signs of superpowers, so Luke and I are happy."

"Still going to teach her the tricks of the trade?" Danny Rand asked.

"Hell yes." Luke said from under the bar. "Look at her mom; Danielle's going to be a heartbreaker when she grows up, and my little girl will know how to handle the guys who don't understand the word 'no.'"

Vanessa smiled, rather weakly.

"What's up?"

"You're lucky." She admitted. "Don't get me wrong, Wade and I are happy, but sometimes…"

"You actually want a little WADE?" Danny asked after spitting out his drink in shock.

"A kid, at least." Vanessa cleared up. "But with Wade's cancerous cells…."

"He's afraid he'll pass it on?" Jess asked.

"I'm pretty sure cancer doesn't work that way." Luke pointed out.

"Its cancer, Luke." Danny pointed out. "No one knows how it works. Besdies, considering Vanessa and Wade aren't nor…"

"HONEY, I'M HOME!"

"…Speak of the devil."

Deadpool ran towards Vanessa, arms wide open….only to get punched right in the face and kicked in the 'important place for pleasing ladies.'

"Baby, why are you so cruel?" Deadpool whimpered after the beating ended.

"That's what you get; just storming off to wherever you went without so much as a note!" Vanessa roared, picking him up and slamming him onto a table.

"You're in the doghouse now, Wade." Luke smirked from behind the bar, where he handed a coke to the kid who'd accompanied the insane mercenary with the mouth. "And if you break a table, you pay for it."

"Arigato." Nagisa bowed, enjoying the cool drink.

"Who is this?" Jessica asked.

"This Nagisa." Deadpool. "He's going to be staying with me and Nessa for a while; he's a real fan of mine who goes to a school where the students have to kill their teacher in one year or the world will blow up."

Vanessa walked over to Nagisa and shook his hand.

"Please don't fanboy too much, and I'm pretty sure we'll get along fine." She smiled.

Nagisa bowed, before realizing something; a small baby was pulling on his pants. Smiling down he waved to the baby and started playing patty cake with her.

"Sweet Christmas." Luke smirked. "Never seen Danielle take to somebody so quickly. Hey Wade, can we burrow him to babysit?"

"As long as you and Danny can help him with his ki, I see no prob." Deadpool smirked. "I'd do it myself, but this ain't a DBZ crossover."

"Wait." Danny cut in. "That kid's got ki? He's 12!"

"Yep." Wade smirked. "Manifests as snake. But don't go making him a sidekick, I'm teaching him everything else! And he'll be turning 13 soon enough!"

Eventually, the Wilsons and their new charges bade the Cages and Danny goodbye and returned home. Exhausted, Nagisa set up his sleeping blanket on the couch and was about to get comfy when….

"Look Nag." Deadpool said, uncharacteristally serious and gentle. "I'm not trying to replace your dad; he sounds like he was cool guy and it's pretty clear you still love him. Heck, to be honest, I'm jealous of you…anyways, I know a lot's changing in your life and this is probably a huge bombshell…Heh, heh….Bombshell, all the beauties in the room…."

"Wade…" Vanessa

"Sorry, back on task….Nagisa, I'm not the warm, loving type of fella."

"I know that." Nagisa smiled.

"So, I may not be your dad, but if you let me; I'll at least try be your friend."

Nagisa once again hugged his idol.

"That's more than I ever wanted."

Once he was certain Nagisa was asleep, Deadpool went to his own room, where he found Copycat waiting for him, a smile on her face.

"You like him." She smiled.

Wade just smield.

"I know he's a little older…but we could pretend he's our son."

"Who said anything about 'pretend?'" Vanessa mused. "I put in a call to She-Hulk, she'll come by on the weekend with paperwork."

XXX

From a screen in different locations, two sinister eyed the new addition to the Wilson family

"Kids got potential…" The first, a skull mask wearing mercenary schoolmaster smirked. "In fact, the all got it."

"That boy's killing intent…" The other, a giant of a man with pale white skin, black lips and sharp teeth smiled. "I need it. And it could help with capturing this so-called Koro-Sensei…"

Next time: Life in Hell's Kitchen, Attack of the Asano-assholes and Nagisa vs. Taskmaster, round 1

Deadpool: He's going to lose!

Nagisa: Yeah, probably.

Karma: You know, I was going to argue that you should have some confidence in your student…but then I remembered this is Nagisa we're talking about.

Nagisa: Karma, why are we friends again?

Taskmaster: See you soon kid.

….

How'd he get in this..?

On a related note, if anyone has read it, who WOULD like to see a crossover between this story and Hardboiled Naegi? I do have an idea for it….

Deadpool: And just in case Mrotrax here doesn't upload another chapter on the weekend my movie premiers, we give you this little snippet of the original idea of this fic, where Nagisa was my own flesh and blood:

Mrotrax: I haten to ask, but…..how did you find this?

Deadpool: I AM DEADPOOL! I DO AS I LIKE!

"You should really be more careful, Nagisa." Koro-sensei had started their makeshift 'detention/after school chat.' "It's all good to kill me, but I'd prefer if you lived to enjoy it."

Nagisa sighed.

"In all honesty, sir, even if it didn't work, I was pretty sure the grenade wouldn't hurt me too badly."

"…How so?"

Nagisa then pulled out a marine grade knife from within in his desk.

"Give me a second, sir…."

Nagisa placed the knife against his arm, took a deep breath and slid into across with all his strength, literally disarming himself. Before Koro-Sensei could react in fear, the boy picked up his arm and it welded back on; no scar or anything to suggest that he'd been injuried.

"I've been able to do it since I was little." Nagisa explained. "No one really knows, but now I guess you can see why I didn't care if I got injured…Though it was nice to see someone other than Kaede or Karma worry about me."

Koro-Sensei's always present smile became even brighter.

"Excellent, Nagisa! Now I have even more confidence you might be able to kill me before graduation. Tell me, you live with your mother, right?"

"Hai."

"She ever mention…?"

"Nope, no idea who my dad is." Nagisa then glanced up at the clock and cringed. "Oh Jeez, mom'll kill me if I'm late, see you tomorrow sensei!"

XXXX

"Hello Wade." Koro-sensei said to the strange dressed man.

"Oh hey buddy! How's it going?" The assassin asked as he slit one HYDRA agent's throat before shooting another in the balls.

"I need to ask you a quick question."

"Shoot."

"Do you know a woman named Shiotori?"

"Yeah, why?"

Koro-sensei simply whispered into his friend's ear.

Wade dropped his blades and was frozen in place for a full two minutes before reacting with:

"HOLY SHIT, I HAVE A KID?"

All throughout the world, people sensed something terrible. Worse than Onslaught, Galactus, Mephisto, Thanos and the creature who blew up the moon…

Deadpool…had bred!

"We are so fucked." Norman Osborn whined.