We arrived at the Baronga Pub and surveyed our surroundings. The car park was full, and my heart soared to see a white van parked out the front. Our encounter with the band had taken me completely off guard. The man, in particular…the way he looked at me, there was such intensity, such sadness in his eyes. He was vulnerable, lonely, just like me. I wanted to know why he was so sad, what he was mourning.

We pushed our way into the smoky pub, and Claudia made a beeline for Olivier. She was on the prowl, that much was clear. She sidled up to him, ran her hand across his back and down his arm. He turned to her, smiled, whispered something in her ear and she giggled, pressing her body into his. He rested his hand on her hip, pulling her close. He whispered something to her again, she nodded, and together they began to make their way outside. She turned to me and winked as they passed. Sometimes, I wish I had half as much confidence as Claudia. She looked absolutely stunning – curves in all the right places, a face beautifully made up. She never doubts herself, she sees what she wants and she goes after it.

I watched them leave then turned back to face Kristy, but she had moved away. I saw her in the distance, arguing loudly with a man about what appeared to be a game of darts. Every one of my friends from middle school had changed in some way, but Kristy was still Kristy, and would always be Kristy. I loved that about her, the stability. It was something to hold onto.

I looked around, conscious all of a sudden that I was alone. I made my way to the bar, sat on a stool and felt my face flush. I was embarrassed to be here alone, to have no one to talk to. I was wearing white and felt like I stood out too much in the sea of black-clothed music lovers, like a little girl playing dress ups.

'What can I get you, love?' the barman asked me. I was old enough to drink in Australia, but hadn't yet had my first. I can't explain why exactly, except that I'm sure it had to do with what I had seen alcohol do to people, people I loved dearly, otherwise sane, ordinary people. I didn't trust myself enough.

'Um,' I muttered, 'can I just have an orange juice?' The barman nodded and seconds later returned with a tall, cold glass of juice. I thanked him and began fumbling around in purse to find the money to pay him. I couldn't get used to handling strange currencies, and it always took me a long time to find the correct coins.

'I'll get that,' a voice behind me said. I turned to look and saw Jake, the boy from the van. My face flushed an even brighter red.

'No, that's ok. I'm just trying to find the right coins.' I tried to sound firm.

'You guys helped us find our way here tonight. If it weren't for you, we'd probably be half way to Brisbane by now. It's the least I can do. Please.' He looked sincere. I nodded and he smiled brightly, sliding onto the stool beside me.

'I'm Jake,' he said, extending his right hand. I shook it.

'Mary Anne.'

'Nice to meet you, Mary Anne. I'm glad to see you here.' He looked around, curiosity etched into his face. 'Did you come alone, or…?'

'Oh no, I'm here with my friends, the one's you met. Kristy, she's the girl who gave you the directions, is about to start a brawl over there.' He looked over to where I was pointing and laughed.

'Blending in with the locals, they'll love that. What about your other friend? Is she…is she here as well?' I thought I saw a little colour creep to his cheeks.

'That's Claudia. Yes, she's here. She…she just met another friend, I think they're talking outside. It's pretty noisy in here.'

'Yes, yes it is,' he muttered. 'Claudia…that's a pretty name…'

I have only ever had one boyfriend in my life, but I could tell by looking at him that he was smitten with Claudia. His eyes were unfocused, a slight smile on his lips. I smiled to myself. I couldn't wait to tell Claudia!

'Anyway,' I said. 'Is your band from around here?'

He snapped back to attention. 'What? No, we're from Sydney originally. We're on what I guess you could call tour at the moment, playing random shows at little country pubs like this. Tomorrow morning we're heading to Perth though. We played there about three months back, and one of the bars asked us if we wanted to play every weekend this month. To be honest, gigs are hard to come by and money is pretty tight, so we jumped at the chance.'

'I've heard nice things about Perth,' I responded. 'My friends and I wanted to go there next.' He looked interested, and suddenly I was pouring out a slightly edited version of the past three years – our lives in Stoneybrook, our decision to travel, our adventures since.

'Wow,' he said when I had finished. 'I'd love to do something like that. Just pack up my things and leave. I guess I've never had the incentive – you know, the big event that makes you think "I just can't do this anymore". Things are pretty good for us here. What was your event?'

'Um…' I didn't know what to say. Jake was nice, but he was a stranger. We all had our reasons for wanting to travel. It was more than simply wanting to celebrate graduation, but they were intensely personal reasons. Kristy, Claudia and I barely spoke about them as it was, and we'd known each other forever.

'Mary Anne?' Jake interrupted my thoughts. 'I gotta go now, the band's on in 15 and Stefan will absolutely flip out if I'm too long out here. But it was really nice talking to you.'

'You too, Jake,' I said, breathing a sigh of relief. We smiled at each other and he began to walk off.

'Hey,' he called from the middle of the crowd. 'Maybe we can hang out after the show? I mean, the band and your friends. Only if you want to, of course.' He looked embarrassed, uncertain. I nodded, pleased that I had made a friend. That was usually Kristy or Claudia's job. I was proud of myself – maybe I had changed on this trip, even if it was only a little.

Kristy stomped over to me as Jake left. 'That ass,' she fumed. 'You should have heard what he said to me!'

'I thought you were fighting about darts?' I asked, confused.

'I'll tell you where I'd like to stick his stupid darts…' Kristy began, but I clamped my hand over her mouth, aware that she was causing a scene. People were looking at us with interest.

'Get yourself a drink, Kristy, and calm down.' Kristy breathed in deeply and ordered a beer, which she downed in record time. We sat together at the bar in silence, Kristy trying to hold her anger in and me just trying not to start her off again.

Claudia crept back in just as the lights were dimming. Her face was flushed, her hair slightly dishevelled. "Well," she said. "He certainly is an excellent kisser." I smiled and clasped her hand. Claudia had been so lonely for so long, I wanted for her to be happy.

The band began to play. An older man played the drums – he would have been 28, maybe even 30, and was the only one smiling. He had a kind, friendly face and a grin from ear to ear; he made eye contact with as many audience members as he could. Jake was on the bass, concentrating deeply, a look of surprise on his face every time his hair fell in his eyes even though it was inevitable. Occasionally he would raise his head and smirk, once at me but mostly at Claudia. Her eyes were otherwise engaged. At the front of the stage, commanding the attention of everyone in the room, was the man, the beautiful man – Stefan? He had his eyes closed and was playing the violin. He started softly, sweetly and the band backed him up, a soft rumbling sound. They built up the intensity of the song slowly, and there was something so sad, so painful about it that my heart ached. The man's eyes remained closed as the song built to a crescendo, a huge roar accompanied by the ferocious violin, an intensity I had rarely heard in music. I never once took my eyes off the man, who swayed with the music as if it inhabited his body. It was beautiful, breathtaking.

When the song finished, the man breathed heavily, as if he had just run a marathon. The crowd clapped lightly, not because they didn't like it, but because it didn't feel right to cheer and shout after such an emotional, heartfelt performance. That's what I felt, anyway.

"Thank you, ladies and gentleman," the drummer spoke into his microphone. "Now, please join me in welcoming our singer to the stage – the lovely, the beautiful – Ana!"

The crowd cheered as a woman staggered onto the stage, teetering on impossibly high heels. She was wearing a short black dress, made of lace, that made the most of her perky breasts and legs that seemed to go on for miles. In one hand she carried a cigarette; in the other, a guitar. She paused when she reached the front of the stage, turned to face the audience. "Thanks everybody," she purred into the microphone. Everything about her – from her skin-tight dress to her fishnet tights to her low gravelly voice – seemed to scream sex appeal. "I'm Ana, and we are Gloria and the Mountain."

The band began to play new song, and Ana was singing. Her voice was, quite simply, astounding. It had a vulnerability, but also a raw sexiness – two completely opposite qualities and yet, coming from her, it sounded perfect. I nudged Claudia, motioning that we move closer to the stage. I couldn't see her face, we were too far back.

Claudia and I pushed through the crowd, with Kristy tagging along behind us. We made our way to the front of the room and I was somewhat unfairly relieved to see she wasn't as put together as she seemed to be – her hair hung limply around her face, her eyes were bloodshot, she was swaying slightly. Suddenly, I heard Claudia gasp.

"Shit," Kristy muttered behind me. "Shit, shit, shit."

"What?" I said to Claudia. She just looked at me, speechless, before gesturing towards the stage, towards Ana. I looked at her more closely, wondering what it was I was missing. And then I saw it. The hair was less full, the eyes less bright, the body skinnier. But I knew her; even though it took me a moment to realise, it was unmistakably her.

"Oh my gosh," I whispered. "Stacey."