Anna had not given much thought to what her snow fairy might feel like.
It seemed obvious to her, and most people, that a snow fairy's skin would be well . . . ice cold. One look at Elsa wouldn't dispute this idea either. With her moon-kissed skin and hair so blonde it was almost white, thoughts about Elsa's body temperature had never crossed Anna's mind. But as she hesitantly reached out to the girl next to her and placed her bare fingertips on the soft skin that had previously held that horrible bruise Anna came to the wonderful realization that Elsa was in fact . . . quite warm.
As Anna looked up into Elsa's face she couldn't stop the breath of surprise that escaped past her lips at this sudden realization. But the look in Elsa's eyes, the sudden fear, apprehension, and shame that was battling over her features as her eyes widened with comprehension about what the gesture referred to made Anna realize with a jolt that she had no idea what to say about the mark she had seen last time.
So she used the tactic she normally did when she had no idea what to say. She said the first thing that came to her mind.
"You're warm!" She burst out. Suddenly focusing way to hard on the palm she currently had pressed to Elsa's cheek as she tried to avoid the girl's eyes. "I mean not that you wouldn't be but I never really thought about it before." Then frowning "but if I had thought about it I guess I would have thought that you would feel cold, not that you look cold! Just that I thought you were a snow fairy so I would have assumed that your powers would have made you feel cold, but you're not!"
Anna's fingers ran over the girl's cheek again in awe "But you're warm" she muttered quietly "warm and soft." Then she blushed realizing her rambling hadn't taken her to any safer territory and quickly dropped her hand from Elsa's cheek.
As an uncomfortable silence began to descend between them Anna stared down at the ice, glaring as if it were some how the ice's fault that she couldn't stop herself from being embarrassing in front of the other girl.
Then feeling like it was the only thing she had left to say.
"I'm sorry" she said quietly, eyes still fixed on the ice "I didn't mean to spy on you . . . or attack you" and she winced "or embarrass you."
As Elsa's fearful silence was her only response Anna tried to blink back the regret that threatened to spill over and into tears. "I'll-I'll leave now. I wo-won't bother you anymore." She stammered out as she made to rise, avoiding looking at the girl she had made such a fool out of herself in front of.
"NO!" Elsa yelled suddenly snatching at Anna's hand before she could remove it, her voice loud and filled with an urgency and an almost desperation, "no, please" she continued softer. "No ones- No ones ever...how you not afraid to t-touch me?" Anna's eyebrows drew up. "I'm not . . . I'm not safe." The girl finished her hand still pressing Anna's into her cheek.
The older girl looked so uncertain in that moment, so openly pitiful and filled with remorse at her own words that Anna's heart clutched in her chest as she realized how much truth Elsa placed on those three words. I'm not safe. It was as if that was all she thought of herself. As if not safe was all she would ever be. Hadn't anyone ever told her how beautiful she was? How her wonderful and pure magic had left Anna speechless at the sight of them.
But the girl was holding Anna's hand to her as if she hadn't felt a warm touch in years. And there was a wonder in her eyes as she stared up at Anna that mirrored the expression Anna had worn on the night she had first seen Elsa's powers.
Not safe.
Suddenly Anna was overwhelmed. She didn't know how to handle situations like this. She'd spent her young life behind closed gates. She was five. The number of people she had actually ever interacted with was almost non-existent
This encounter was laced with an undertone she couldn't understand. There was something going on with Elsa that no five year old should indeed ever have to understand. Because the girl in front of her was a mixture of many different things and something far more then just magic. All the emotions tumbling around in Elsa's expressive ice blue eyes as she clutched at Anna's hand seemed so . . . well human. She was missing something. The way the girl talked. The bruise on her pale face. They said something.
It was as if no one had told her she was beautiful. That her powers were the most wonderful thing Anna had ever seen. Elsa opened up so easily to Anna but it was like she was only expecting rejection in return.
As five year old Anna stared at Elsa, trying to decipher the storm of emotions that had flown over the girl's face at the warmth of a simple touch, she couldn't grasp fully what any of this meant. The only word she was able to come up with to describe this desperate girl was a strangely simple and accurate she's lonely.
And as her chest tightened Anna realized that she knew nothing about being the hero she'd sworn to be.
But Elsa wasn't asking for a hero. In that moment, the warning I'm not safe was also a request. A request for someone who didn't care that Elsa wasn't safe or maybe someone who just didn't believe it.
So Anna did the one thing she knew to do.
She decided that until she knew how to become Elsa's hero, she would become her friend. So she forced away the tightness in her chest put on her most mischievous grin and leaned over towards Elsa to drawl into her ear.
"Do you wanna build a snowman?"As the girl next to her on the ice jerked her gaze upwards in surprise Anna realized that at that moment maybe just being a friend was all Elsa needed and she felt her smile spread further across her face.
"You live here?" Elsa's voice was filled with shock and not a little awe as she stared up the looming walls of the Royal Palace.
"Yes" Anna replied in a much more dejected manner, kicking at the snow on the ground as Elsa gazed at one of the four walls that imprisoned Anna in her everyday life.
The night had flown and (according to Elsa) was over. Anna didn't agree. A fear had been rising in her chest ever since this night of winter wonderland, snowman building, and snowball fights had ended, and Elsa had insisted she take Anna back to her house. Now Anna was trying not to choke on it as the long night and day before began to catch up on the young girl.
"Do your parents work here?" Elsa asked oblivious to the approaching tears of her new playmate.
"Yes" Anna replied. Of course the king and queen worked in the palace, but that wasn't important. Then she added quietly as she tried to hold back the sobs wanting to burst forth "Ca-Can I see y-you again please?" The last word escaping her in a desperate plea as the tears escaped down her cheeks.
Surprise cut through the older girls face and she was suddenly at Anna's side kneeling down and tentatively gripping Anna's arms.
"Shhh, Anna" She hushed the younger girl "don't cry."
"How do I know I-I'll see you again? W-What if I wake up and it's all a d-dream?" sobbed Anna and the idea seemed to take hold and she practically howled "I don't want i-it to b-be a dream!"
"Shhhh. Shhhh. Anna it's not a dream I swear." Elsa comforted a sad smile making its way to her face "but . . . but I don't know when I can. It's hard to . . . to get away. I can't tell you when I will be able to meet you-"but Anna had already hurled herself forward to envelope Elsa in the biggest hug her small arms could afford.
"I'll wait!" She said gleeful through the tears that still ran down her face "I'll watch for your lights every night till I see them!" And she buried herself in Elsa's comforting warmth as the older girl stood frozen in shock at Anna's embrace.
"We're friends now right?" Anna asked finally, the words muffled by the fact that she was speaking into Elsa's dress. She felt Elsa take a breath and after a pause, tentatively bring her arms around to return Anna's embrace.
"I'd like that." The older girl replied softly.
