Part 1: Chapter 3

PJ eyed her silently, taking in her appearance, the subtle differences. Her hair was longer, slightly layered across her face, a few more lines around her eyes but they were all insignificant. This was his Maggie and he felt his body tremor slightly.

"H-ey," he finally managed, his voice cracking, not knowing what else to say.

She stared up at him a small amount of mirth in her eyes, although she made no move to close the distance he had left between them. "Hi" she responded shyly, her voice echoing in the silent room, throat raspy from crying.

There were no words.

"I…" he started as his voice trailed off, throat hoarse. He exhaled in annoyance as he ran his hand through his hair "Of all the times I imagined this" he stated ironically "This was not how it was suppose to go"

Maggie looked up at him her voice wavering as she spoke "How was it suppose to go?" she asked unable to deal with the silence any longer, three years of silence was enough.

He moved slowly towards her halting only inches away, their eyes locking as the communication flowed silently between them. She tilted her head in silent permission, as he leaned forward, mouth stopping inches from her own. He could feel her tremble, knowing that his own hands were also shaking.

"How did you imagine it?" she repeated softly, her warm breath tickling his skin as she spoke. He leaned forward in response, brushing his lips across hers, barely a touch, testing.

It was the slightest of touches, just a whisper across her mouth, and he ran his tongue over his lip tasting the salt from the silent tear that had fallen down her cheek. He leaned back towards her, softly settling his mouth against hers as he closed his eyes, past blurring with the present. His arm snaked around her waist as she sunk against him, leaning into his warmth.

There was nothing but the moment as they crashed against each other, drinking the other in. He could taste the salt of her tears which he was certain was combining with his own as his lips dragged against hers, pulling her even closer towards him. She responded in kind, clawing at his shirt as her hands snaked up to his short hair, pulling his head towards her. Closer. Needing to be closer.

Lack of oxygen finally forced them apart as they broke their embrace. PJ took a worn breath, feeling his entire body shake as he took a few steps back from her, leaning against the wall for support. He stole a quick glance towards her as he took in her tear soaked face, chest rising and falling as she struggled to even her breathing, gasping for air. He gulped as reality suddenly crashing back onto him, the feelings from earlier reigniting, gnawing. He ventured another quick glance towards her as she eyed him timidly, watching his reaction, obviously unsure. She took a step towards him, but he shook his head reaching out a hand to stop her, his brain attempting to form words.

"Stay there" he finally managed to choke out in-between breaths "I just need a minute"

She nodded, her own breathing still haggard, her skin burning where he had touched her. For the first time however she felt a small amount of hope reignite. But she knew him, and if he was the same man, she knew he would need answers. She bit her lip as she watched him, the voice in the back of her mind reminding her that love and want was not always enough. It was his choice.

Not knowing what else to do she sat back down onto the bed, slightly surprised when PJ moved to the other side of the room, away from the door, taking up a place on the chair across from her. He shut his eyes briefly as if trying to calm himself, before turning his gaze back towards her. His defenses were up, she could tell from his eyes, and Maggie braced herself, knowing that whatever closeness she had just felt was a fading memory.

PJ could not help but stare at her as he collapsed onto the seat, trying to steel himself for what was to come. Every time he blinked he almost believed that she would vanish and this absurd dream would come to an end. The warmth of her lips on his was a reminder that this was not a dream. He took a deep breath as he contemplated the situation, the feelings of earlier continuously gnawing at him, demanding answers. He could feel her waiting for him and he had to know.

"Why?" he finally croaked, voice trembling, unable and unwilling to meet her gaze as the memories of the last three years, the memories of her death, played through his mind.

Maggie exhaled slowly at the heavily laden question, struggling for an answer, having known the question would come. Knowing that her answer could push him out the door.

"Things got…complicated" she started, needing to break away from his gaze as she spoke, fiddling with her fingers in her lap "They …ah…told me about Mick" she stated voice catching on the mention of her brother. PJ's heart instantly ached for her, but he remained silent, unable to offer any comfort as he listened, needing an answer, needing a reason for the last three years.

"They figured it out that night" she continued her voice thick with unshed emotion as she struggled to recount her final days. "They had to get me out…but they didn't know how far Mick's circle extended…which members were safe….which ones weren't…"

She took a deep breath, eyes darting to the ceiling, her voice seemingly too loud for the tension filled room. "The two that got me out, they weren't certain who to trust to get you.…send in the wrong guys and we were both dead…they couldn't guarantee that we would both get out alive…" she started, panic rising in her voice as she continued her recount "I didn't want to risk it" she whispered "I needed you to be safe…I…" she started but was cut off by PJ

"You didn't want to see me dead, so you faked your own death" he stated gruffly, anger lacing his words as he finally looked towards her.

Maggie gulped at the hostility in his tone, her heart aching as she recognized the anguish underneath "I didn't know that they were going to do that" she started but PJ was having none of it

"God what Maggie? You couldn't have found someway in those few days to tell me that you were alive!" he replied incredulously, voice rising as he stood from the chair throwing it back with force as it clanged against the table. She eyed him somewhat surprised by his outburst as he began pacing the room, fueled by his raging emotions.

"There were procedures, I couldn't have contact with anyone…" she started softly but shut up as PJ whirled around at her words, anger and hurt rushing to the surface, finally released.

"Procedures" he spat, his eyes blazing "Do you have any idea what I went through" he started, grabbing her wrist and pulling her upright, forcing her to lock eyes with him, faces inches apart "Any idea what I went through watching you die!"

He felt her fear as she stared timidly up at him, it was not physical they both knew he could never hurt her but it was emotional. Their delicate situation could be shattered with one misplaced word and they both knew it.

"No, I don't" she replied sincerely, choking back a sob. He released his grip on her and she fell against the bed, the rawness in his eyes, his pain, shocking her into silence. She watched as the colour drained from his face, noting his trembling hands as he backed away towards the door, obviously unsettled. His hand was on the door handle when her agonized voice stopped him

"PJ, please," she begged, not the least bit ashamed at the desperation in her voice, knowing that there was a chance he may not return "Please don't go" she choked, feeling the tears cascade down her face for what seemed like the hundredth time that day

He stopped, staring at her small form, his heart constricting at her pain as the tears slid down her face. He moved away from the door, his mind taking his body back to her as he found himself moving to sit beside her on the bed. She did not dare move towards him as he shifted so that he could meet her gaze, anger finally expelled to be replaced with absolute wariness.

"Have I told you how relieved I am that you're ok" he stated softly and she nodded choking back a sob. He hesitantly moved his thumb to her cheek, pausing, before silently wiping away the remnants of her tears. She automatically leaned into his touch, as he threaded his fingers through her hair, leaning in and placing a small kiss on her forehead.

The action was familiar, his touch always having soothed her, and she felt the memories invade her mind. She looked up at him, her eyes meeting his as she placed a soft kiss on his lips. The action was so familiar, so safe, that she felt her mind surrender, loosing the distinction between the present and the past. At the familiar feel of her lips against his, PJ felt his tired mind surrender to her. He shifted slightly, placing his arm on the other side of her, running small kisses along her cheek to her jaw line before capturing her lips once again. She pulled him with her as she gently leaned back upon the bed, lips interlocked as she slowly tugged at his shirt, untucking it as he continued to trail kisses along her neck. Her body trembled slightly at his touch, the familiar feeling of safety, of love, consuming her as he continued his exploration, fingers lifting at the hem of her shirt.

She almost wanted to cry as her mind suddenly triggered to where they were and she knew they had to stop. He may have been lost in the moment, in a memory, but his anguish from a few minutes prior was etched into her brain.

"PJ" she whispered as he placed another tender kiss on her lips and she shut her eyes briefly trying to will the inner strength to stop him. "PJ" she began again, with all her inner strength pushing him back from her. Having noticed her request to stop, PJ rolled off of her, hurt and confusion evident as she sat up, giving him a reassuring smile as she took his hand in hers.

"We still need to talk," she stated gently as she watched the fog lift from his eyes, reality crashing back upon him. He exhaled deeply, picking himself off the bed as he removed his hand from hers, shakily grabbing his keys from the table. She watched him silently, as he moved around the room, obviously thrown from the intensity of the moment. Wariness evident in his posture as his exhausted mind tried to divide present from past.

"You're right" he replied softly as he leaned against the wall giving her a small smile "I uh, I think I just need some time to get my head around this" he stated indicating between the two of them "And if I stay here….I…can't…" he started but Maggie nodded her understanding.

"Lunch tomorrow?" she suggested, meeting his gaze "It's public…that may be best.." she supplied and PJ nodded, the tension ran too high when they were alone.

"The restaurant downstairs is actually quite nice," she offered and he nodded his head solemnly, too tired to offer an alternative. She moved to follow him as he made his way towards the door, and he paused as his hand curved around the door handle.

"Is it safe for you?" he asked, worry evident in his tone.

She gave him a small smile as she lent tiredly against the archway "It will be fine" she assured him and he gave a brief nod.

"Goodnight Maggie" he stated softly, his hand moving slightly towards her before he retracted, instead opening the door. She bit her lip, trying not to take the action personally as he headed into the hallway.

"Goodnight PJ" she whispered as she watched him walk away before shutting the door behind her.