I am sorry for how long this chapter is but it kinda got away from me. If you have any comments or reviews I would greatly appreciate it thanks guys.

That first night for him was utter torture. Brayden sat across the fire from her and all he could do was stare. The mischief girl from his past was gone and in its place was a beautiful woman that looked hurt and confused. Watching her under his hooded cloak he couldn't help but be in awe of her. Watching her fight confirmed the subtle differences from the image of her that he had kept over the years. She now carried duel swords, both of exquisite make and enchanted with lightening and something else but he was not sure. He was sure that she still had the harness that hid her daggers under the hooded tunic that she wore over her armor. The tunic itself was beautiful it was made of some sort of silk that seem to flow around her when she moved, it shimmered between blues and violets but its base color was obviously black. Her armor fit her like a second skin it and was as black as raven wings but when the light hit it, it shimmered the green of her eyes the whole outfit made him think of raven feathers.

When they had first seen each other at the prison he was shocked, and while they fought through the hords of darkspawn and the few power hungry wardens he felt as if something or someone was missing from her side. He didn't realize it until they were on the surface again and she whistled, it only took a few moments and a rather large mabari with black war paint bounded up to her side, it was Shadow that she was missing her constant protector.

"Hawke you seem lost in thought and as much as you are trying to hide the fact that you are staring at Raven you are doing a very poor job of it."

"Anders, the mischief Commander that you always talked about, that's her isn't. It was Raven, she is the one you fell for even though …"

"Yeah she is. How do you know her?"

"One wonderful summer from the past and a kiss that has haunted me ever since." He said as he gazed across the fire at her. She seemed to be a sleep using Shadow as her pillow but he could tell she wasn't. And to confirm this she looked up under her hood and met his eyes with hers. The look he saw there made him speechless.

"Anders just so you know Shadow ate Sir-Pounce- a- lot." He laughed he could not help it nor could Varric who was sitting near Fenris because the look on Anders face was priceless and the horrified gasp was just adding to the moment.

"That mutt did what?" he began to rise and sparks were coming off his fingers. Everyone in the camp turned to look at her, her whole body was shaking from laughter and Oghren was yelling for sparklefingers to calm down. Nate had stood up and was slowly moving in front of her.

"Anders, I was just joking," it came out in a sputtered laughing voice, "you seem so sullen and mopy. Sir-Pounce-a-lot is fine. He is with Sigrun at the keep but I should warn you after you left you broke that poor ball of fur's little heart. He wouldn't leave you room for weeks, Shadow ended up becoming its mommy figure. I think the first time Oghren saw him being carried around in Shadow's mouth he nearly pissed himself."

"That was a sight, a ball of screaming, hissing fuzz being carried around the castle by something as big as that," he pointed at the sleeping war hound under his commander, "I could have sworn that dog looked absolutely content and I haven't seen them without each other since."

"So if you think you are getting him back you might have to fight her for him." Raven stated as she stroked behind Shadow's ears causing the sleeping beast to whine in contentment.

Brayden watched as everyone began to chuckle even as Anders rose to move next to the sleeping form of Shadow. The rest of the evening was uneventful and the trip to Kirkwall in the morning was a new form a torture for him. He didn't know what to talk about with her or even what to say. All of the feelings from that summer had returned. He had never forgotten her and he knew in many ways he still loved her. He had been with a few women since that summer but none that his heart could connect to. Isabella and him even had a go for a short time, but after their one and only night together she had told him that she could tell that there was someone else that held his heart and he needed to let go to move on.

She stood in awe at the Gallows when they had finally reached Kirkwall. In all her travels she had never seen something that felt so ominous. She couldn't comprehend what the mages here could be going through. Some of her closet friends were mages and they had saved her life more than once and she theirs in return. Brayden had taken them quickly through there and led them to a tavern called the Hanged Man.

"Varric has a room here he could arrange for you to stay here. But if you would like you could stay at the manor, my mother would love to see you again and I know there are a few others that would like to see you as well. Plus there is someone I would like you to meet." Something in her heart clenched at his last few words, she didn't know what it meant but she was afraid. "Raven it would please me if you stayed with my mother and I. There is more than enough room for everyone."

"If it's all the same Hawke I think I am going to stay here with Varric. I like that atmosphere." said Oghren.

"What he means is he likes the smell of ale and piss it makes him feel at home. Plus I think this is the soberest we have seen him... ever," Nate said. Nate had turned to look at Raven she still had not given Hawke a reply. She seemed a bit lost in thought so he looked around the Hanged Man. He had stayed here once before and he was sure he did not want to stay here again. He noticed that Fenris had followed Varric and Oghren to his room and that Anders had sneaked out the door to somewhere. When he realized that she wasn't going to respond to him he took it upon himself to answer and sway things in Hawke's favor. "I think the Commander would appreciate you hospitality. I know from previous experience that she would favor your manor over this establishment."

Raven snapped her head in Nate's direction after that was said. She didn't even notice the look of utter happiness on Brayden's face or the smirk that had formed on Nate's. Nate grabbed her arm and shuffled her out into the street so that they could follow Hawke to his home.

"Serrah Hawke. It is good to see you return safely, your mother is out with your Uncle Gamlen and should return before…" Bohdan had greeted Hawke in his usual manner but when he realized that he had company with him he turned to see who it was. He hadn't seen her since the coronation of King Alistair, but he knew it was her. She had a very distinctive walk, it was almost predatorial. "Warden Commander it is good to see you again, Sandal look who is here son."

"Bohdan, Sandal how are you guys?"

"We are wonderful Warden, Serrah Hawke saved my boy in the deep roads and now I work for him and his mother."

"Sounds about right."

"Puppy," Sandal said and started to walk over to Shadow but before he could reach her there was a large commotion from upstairs then a rather large mabari was bounding down the stairs heading in their direction.

"Goliath come here boy." Goliath ran right past Brayden's outstretched arms and right towards Shadow.

"Oh shit grab him Brayden" Raven was holding as tight as possible to Shadow, "Shadow is just coming out of heat. We have to keep them separate."

"Bohdan would you mine taking Goliath to the Barracks, Aveline won't mind, the new recruits could use the practice."

"Yes Serrah"

"Well I will show you to your rooms so you can get cleaned up, after diner I usually go to the Hanged Man to play cards with the rest of the gang. Raven after you get cleaned up I was hoping you would maybe meet me in the Library so we could get reacquainted. You already met Goliath he was the one I wanted to introduce you too. He usually is very sweet sooo... not the best impression for today I guess."

"Thank you Brayden. We only really need two rooms as much as Nate would like to protest Velanna would only sneak into his room late in the night. They just like to hide the fact that they are together even though everyone in the Keep knows," she called over her shoulder. Nate's face had turned a very unattractive shade of red while Velanna just went up and reached her arms around his waist.

"I told you they already knew, so no more hiding. As much as I like acting like a bitch all the time it is getting quite boring."

Brayden's heart had clenched when she said the only needed two rooms and then relaxed after the explanation. He couldn't help but laugh at Nate's face and the rest of the party in the entry hall joined in with him at Nate's expense. Brayden went and showed them their rooms and went to his to clean up.

She didn't know what to do. Her heart and head felt like it was on Tarrant when she was trying to break him. She was sitting in a bath and she could tell that Sandal had laid his expertise to it since the water was not getting cold but staying at the most perfect temperature. She had been dreaming about him for weeks and now here he was in front of her even more handsome then he was before. As she sat in the bath stalling on getting out and going down the stairs to talk to him she realized, since Fergus had given her the journals back, she had not thought about Alistair once. She had been dreaming almost every night about Brayden and she knew maybe this was a sign and she should be open to it. There was a knock at the door and it startled her out of her thoughts.

"Raven, Velanna and I are going to go explore the city for awhile we will possible see you at the Hanged Man after dinner. The next ship leaves in three days to Amaranthine and I have already booked us passage and Hawke said it would be find to stay here until it leaves."

"Thank you Nate." She knew that she was going to have to get out of the bath and go down stairs and talk to Brayden. She didn't have anything to change into except her armor so she went snooping through the armoire. She found a beautiful black and silver dress, it looked like it had never been worn and she hoped whoever it belonged to wouldn't mine her wearing it since the rest of the clothing looked like it would be too short for her to wear.

When she finally arrived in the Library he was pacing back and forth. She hadn't seen Bohdan or Sandal anywhere on her way down. She took a seat in one of the chairs near him and waited for him to notice her presence. After awhile she couldn't help but laugh at him, he was mumbling and so deep in thought that he jumped at her sudden appearance.

"I see your stealth skills have greatly improved."

"Well there was this assassin during the blight, he was an Antivian Crow sent to kill me. Obviously I changed his mind, and he became a great friend… how is your family?"

It took a few moments for him to respond. He had noticed the dress she was wearing; it was one that his mother had made for Bethany while they were in the deep roads. He knew his mother had brought her stuff and put it in a room in the estate. "Mother is better now that she has her family home back. It has been hard on her since the blight. Carver did not make it out of Lothering an ogre got him. Bethany died over a year ago during and expedition in the deep roads. It was a darkspawn attack and she… and she was tainted."

"I am so sorry Brayden I didn't know." She didn't realize that she had stood up and that her feet had carried her over to him. He seemed so distraught. "It wasn't your fault you shouldn't blame yourself."

"But it was. Mother asked me not to take her she didn't want to lose another child to darkspawn. I should have listened to her or taken Anders with me then maybe she would be alive."

"I have learned from experience not to hang on the what ifs or the should haves. For over a year after what Howe did to my family I was angry at myself thinking I could have done something else and they would be alive. It took finding Fergus alive and my friends that I gathered during the blight to make me see that what happened was not my fault and I had no control over the situation. You had no control over what happened to Bethany or to Carver do you really think that they would want you to blame yourself for their deaths?"

Brayden took a step closer and wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a tight embrace, "thank you… thank you Raven." He took a step back and looked down on her. He didn't remember her being this short but he had grown since that summer. He wasn't sure what took over him when he looked into those green eyes of her but he leaned the last few inches it took and kissed her soft supple lips.

She was shocked that he kissed her but she was more shocked on how her body was responding to him. He was pulling away before she knew it and she didn't want him to stop. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him back to her lips.

That was all it took for him, he parted his lips and ran his tongue across her lower lip and when her lips parted he deepened the kiss. She gave a slight moan which excited him. His hand moved up her back to her head and tangles in her still damp hair. She had left it down and it was longer then the last time he had saw her. He felt her arms tighten around him then all of a sudden he felt her push him away.

"I am sorry I shouldn't have done that. You could be seeing someone. I am so stupid." He just looked at her shocked while she shook her head and covered her face with her hands. He could see tears starting to run down her tattooed checks. She kept trying to pull away from him and he wasn't going to have any of that.

"Rae my little black bird calm down please…" he was rubbing small circle on her lower back trying to sooth her. "Rae look at me please?"

He was calling to her, using the name that he used to call her during their summer together. His hand making circles on her back was starting to sooth her. She knew that the walls that she had built around her heart since Alistair and the ones that she had built for him were breaking. She didn't want to feel what she was feeling for him, she was terrified. She didn't want to know what he was going to say so she did the one thing she knew she could do to get away from him.

She took a step back and swept his legs out from under him. As he fell to the floor she turned and ran towards her room.