I don't know how I made it past that hallway. Whatever made it seem like it stretched on forever was no friend to me. I am here now…seated…food in front of me, but my hunger was absent. I simply sat, consumed by the despair that swirled in miserable torrents around me. Father sat to my right, his attention occupied by shooting me sorrowful glances every now and then as he conversed with Jaga, who sat across from me. The guards had left since my arrival, leaving the three of us in a slurry of mumbling and staring.

They were occupied by their conversation, however I had recently become occupied, not within the last few seconds, of the pressure that surrounded me, it started crushing me more tightly, and brought a throbbing pain to my head. I was on the verge of passing out, when a voice that sounded as clear as the surface of a still pond rang through me. My head raised to see Jaga furrowing his brow, his eyes transfixed on me. I nodded, but my body belied the truth. I had started shaking as I felt more enclosed here.

As he opened his mouth to call the bluff, the doors at the far end of the room opened, two guards stepping inside… someone…behind them. The pain throttled me when I noticed the striped figure they partially concealed. My shoulder ignited and my instinctively I grabbed the table to steady myself. I had been sitting, but found myself on the floor, a shout coming from above me as a pair of arms encircled my midsection and carefully brought me to my feet, helping me sit back down.

Where their arms had touched, I felt a tepid warmth, the sensation moving down to my thighs as whoever helped me up crouched in front of me while I tried to clear my vision from its blurred state. I only had to blink a few times before the horror of realization hit me. The colors, the face, that looked back at me. It was the one that had come to haunt me as of late. He must have come back for me, was nowhere safe from him? I threw my arms out to push him away, but he grabbed them before I could make contact. My head turned to look away, I started to shout, for someone, anyone to help me. I wasn't strong enough to fight him off at the moment, I needed the universe to grant me its aid again, I wanted to keep what dignity it had let me.

Salvation did come, but not as I expected it. He backed away from me on his own, to the door, and stood, an expression of shock and terror plastered over his face. My breathing kept its heavy pace as I looked around; Jaga hadn't moved, but Father was standing behind me, the same pity he had shown me through the night had shown itself again. What was going on, why had they not come to help me when I called?

I had opened my mouth to ask them, but the words that came out weren't but meek breaths and gasps. I didn't even realize I had started crying. The fears that my nightmare hadn't yet ended encircled me, and I got up to run, to run away from these people. Nothing changed as I had thought they would. The walls remained solid, the light still pierced the windows with its painful brightness. My world remained static, the darkness that had enveloped every corner of my vision wasn't here. My breath sped up and started to hitch as I came to the grim observation that I really was awake. The profuse intake of air surged to my head, and combined with the menagerie of tattered and broken thoughts, I fell to the floor as that darkness I had hoped to see…graced me with its presence.

I didn't wander long. The air had grown cold around me, and I brought my arms to embrace myself as I shivered. Most people wouldn't be glad to be here, once again pacing through the hidden corners of their mind, but I had started to like this place. There was nothing here, it was barren, and that was what I wanted. No one else here, that meant no one to bring me harm, and no one to have to rely on to help me. Maybe I could get some sleep here, the peace I had been refused flowed freely here, and I embraced it, closing my eyes…

…only to awaken. Blinded by the sun shining from the glass above me, I raised my arm to block it out. I was right where I had remembered falling; but I wasn't as alone as I had been then. I could hear a breath coming from my left, and tensed; could he not leave me be, hadn't he already hurt me enough?

I tried to keep calm. Perhaps if I ignored him, he would do the same to me. That thought was entertained as I got to my feet, but the moment I started walking, I heard him clear his throat. My legs prepared to run again, but he had been closer than I imagined. He put a hand on my shoulder, but it felt tentative. He cleared his throat again, and walked around to face me.

His eyes were clear, the deep brown that I knew to be Tygra were back. I struggled to keep my hold on them. I saw the regret and confusion in them, and part of me knew what he was going to say even before he had found the words himself. I felt angry at him, that he would think that an apology would make up for what he did.

For the first time since I had woken, the horror that overflowed from me started to burn as rage ignited it, setting ablaze a fire I felt the need to release. My arms shook as he started to say something, but I didn't hear it. I erupted, the tension I had inside me fueled my actions. I pushed him away, asking him how he expected me to even be near him after last night. He just looked at me, his eyebrow raised, mocking me. He cut me off while I was asking him what in the hell he thought he was doing.

He said I had been asleep for four days… for four days. My movements slowed as I processed that. How could I have been asleep for four days, it was impossible, I would have starved to death. He saw that thought reflected on my face, and it seemed he had an answer for that too. The Clerics… he said the Clerics sustained my body while they prayed for me to wake.

I hissed at him. Why would he pray for me, why would he pretend to care that much, after what he did… I couldn't speak after that. I wanted to believe he was lying to me, to the point that it was a physical feeling that pressed at the back of my head. As I continued to glare at him though, I saw that his eyes agreed with him.

I didn't want to sustain this conversation. I turned on my heels and hoped he'd let me leave; no such luck. He put his hand back on my shoulder and asked me to just listen to him, for two minutes. Snidely, I told him that I would, but it would be two minutes too long. He looked as though I had shot him through the chest.

He let me go, but defeat broke through his features. As my feet started moving again, I heard him call out:

"Liono! That wasn't me, If I had been I control I wouldn't have even thought of putting you in that situation!" he had almost yelled it. It was nothing I didn't already know. I could see that he had lost himself, but to what, his own desire. The thumps I heard coming up behind me made my rage boil over again. I had to clench my fists and struggle to restrain myself before I lost control. I wasn't going to be like him.

Dashing in front of me, he stopped, making me do the same. Holding out his arms, he wouldn't let me pass. Why couldn't he…why couldn't he just let me go? His voice echoed through the mist as I saw my vision blur again:

"I can't deny that what I did was wrong, that I hurt you. I made a promise that I would never let anyone or anything hurt you. I've broken my promise to you Liono, I hurt you worse than death ever could. If you want to hit me… I won't defend myself. I know it will never make it up to you, but I… I just want you to feel better. I don't know how long it will take, or what will have to be done, but… when I hurt you Liono, I hurt myself… I succumbed to whatever took hold of me… For whatever it's worth, I tried, I tried so hard to hold myself back for as long as I could, until someone could save you… from me…"

He was right. Hitting him would never make up for what had been done, but I would do it anyway. My hand made contact with his chest, and the force threw him to the floor. I kicked him, punched him again, beat against him until my fists started to bleed. Subconsciously, I asked him why he would betray me like that, why the one person I put all of my trust in, would betray me. I couldn't see him anymore, I couldn't see anything. I collapsed to the floor and waited for this fit to pass. The adrenaline that had shot through me when my first punch hit had all but been depleted. His voice came up, although hoarse, and he answered my question:

"It was *cough* never my intention to hurt you Liono… Jaga… he was supposed to keep people out of my room… he *hack* told me that there was a possibility that I would lose control. When I saw that *pant* you were there… I don't know what came over me. I was aware of everything that was going on…but Liono *cough* I could… barely… control my own body. I felt like I was watching someone else, and I begged that I would stop… I was killing myself, I was causing you pain. As much as *wheeze* I want you to believe me, I know that… I won't be that lucky… I'm not deserving of… your forgiveness… I should have… should have… tried… harder…"

His voice died off and I could hear a thump on the floor. Thinking he passed out, I felt around with one hand while I frantically tried wiping my eyes with my other. It wasn't worth it. The anger I felt toward him vanished the moment I realized that he wasn't the person who almost raped me that night. Whatever else he may be, he's my brother, this was the man I trusted… he was my family…and I… I loved him…

These feelings, they didn't fade completely, but they cleared enough for me to see how I had acted. I saw that Tygra wasn't himself, but I still blamed him, for everything. My heart was weighed down with both regret and confusion. No one was deserving of what had happened to me, or what could have happened. But at the same time, hatred isn't deserved by those who it isn't meant for. Whoever possessed Tygra deserved my hatred, he was the one who deserved these feelings.

Tygra was a victim just like I was. I knew he was sick, but I needed someone to blame, I put my burden on him, held him accountable, when it wasn't his fault. I was such an ass, but when my hand finally touched him, felt his heart beating through his arm, when I finally cleared the despair from my eyes, my whole body shook with relief. Look what I had done… I'm such an idiot for not realizing sooner.

His breath was weak, but he was still alive. He was conscious, I didn't know he had been looking at me the whole time, through bruised, half-opened eyes. His bloodied lips curled into a smile, and his hand came up to cup my face. I put my own hands over top of his own, and whispered that I was sorry weakly on my breath.

"you aren't the one who has to be sorry…"

"You didn't deserve this, I lost myself just as you did, I didn't want to let what happened to you happen to me, but I did, and I knew it was happening."

"You acted like anyone would if they were forced like that."

"I blamed the wrong person, I hurt the one I loved, I wasn't strong enough to do anything… to save either of us…"

"the one…you loved, Liono"

"Y-yes Tygra. You're my brother, and I know that it's wrong to have these feelings. You were always there for me though, I was lonely when you weren't there. When I came into your room that night… I wanted to see you, because I hadn't seen you all day. I panicked when you collapsed, the thought of losing you… I couldn't even think about it…"

"Liono… I… I would be lying if I said I didn't have feelings for you too… but… I don't want to hurt you again, I wouldn't survive losing myself a second time, I wouldn't survive losing you…"

"Tygra…" maybe the universe wasn't as malevolent as I believed. I had brought myself to forgive Tygra, to find the light in the darkest place. It would seem that he found his as well… "Tygra, you won't; you already promised that you wouldn't let anything happen to me…"

"But I broke…"

"Nothing, you broke nothing. When you lost yourself, I lost myself, I'm willing to accept that neither of us were inside our bodies that night. Sickness drove you away, and panic did the same to me. We both want to make it up to the other, so why can't we give this a try…"

"I couldn't Liono, if I broke your heart-"

"-then don't. if you want to make this up to me, then do this…for me… please."

"Nothing will ever be the same…"

"I hope it will better…"

"I do too." He smiled at me again; I couldn't help myself, I laid across his chest and held him as best I could. His heartbeat had steadied, and the more I listened to it, the more my headache started to go away. A few more seconds was all I lingered for; picking myself up, I helped Tygra to his feet, letting him lean on me while we walked back to the dining room. It would take time for me to come to terms with what had happened to me, that was certain. Something else that's certain:

Just because a story doesn't have a happy beginning, and isn't full of rainbows and flows like a stream, doesn't mean it can't have a happy ending.

I am willing to believe that, and from the looks of my mate, he is too.