Special thanks to those who took the time to review and to those who are still with me on this. A big thank you to Wallaruby for following.
Gwen lay in her bed thinking about the conversation she had with her best friend Morganna.
For once she didn't have to make an excuse to Lance, because he had told her he was going out with the guys to have a few drinks, and help to cheer Arthur up.
Blonde hair and blue eyes swam in front of her, and she allowed her mind to drift to the owner.
She was concerned about what could be troubling Arthur, and she wished with all her heart that she could be the one to make him feel better.
Her mind drifted to what Morganna had said about Arthur wanting her to be happy even if it kills him.
She wonders what that could mean, but she dares hope it means, he actually cares for her as more than a friend.
Memories flood her mind about all the times they have been in each others company, and she
was hit by a stark revelation,
'I think he likes me, really likes me, oh my God! How did I never see it?' she thought to herself.
Gwen lay quietly thinking about her situation and what she has come to realize.
She believes now, that a future is possible with Arthur, and she knows she really have to talk to Lance.
As far as her life is concerned, she is not happy so she has nothing to lose. With that in mind, she decide that the first chance she gets, she is
going to tell Lance what is on her mind.
After settling herself in bed she allows her mind to drift to the man she loves, thinking happy thoughts, and for the first time in months, Gwen didn't cry herself to sleep.
Arthur lay in his huge bed, thinking about everything that Percival had told him.
He thought about all the conversations he and Gwen have had over the past few months, and he suddenly remembered how sad she had looked on one occasion, even though she was with Lance.
He remembers she seemed to be looking for someone, as she kept looking around, and trying to pry over everyone's shoulder.
He had actually come by himself that night, and he was just standing beside a pillar, admiring her and wishing to be next to her.
He remembered, the moment that he entered the doorway, and she laid eyes on him, it was if she was relieved and happy to see him, because the smile that she gave him, seemed only for him, and it made his heart flutter.
After that, her whole demeanor changed completely, she was no longer looking around, and she distanced herself from Lance to come over and talk to him.
That night they spoke for hours, and neither of the two wanted to part ways.
As he lay remembering every event they attended and every conversation they have had, for the last three months, and beyond, realization dawned on him,
'Percival was right! She does have feelings for me. I don't understand why I haven't noticed before. I have to know, which means I have to talk to her. Oh
Guinevere, if only you knew, I would give anything just to be with you,' he thought internally.
As sleep began to claim him, he had one more thought, and he actually felt happy about it.
'I need to speak to Vivian, as soon as possible.'
Morning found Lance sitting at his kitchen table, having a cup of strong black coffee.
He didn't get much sleep, not only because he went to bed late, but he spent most of the night thinking about what he was going to do. He knows what must be done, but how to do it, was the problem.
Although he knows it will hurt, and he shouldn't care what Gwen feels, he doesn't want her to feel bad about anything. He knows her pretty well and he knows the minute he tells her what he has observed, she will blame herself, and he doesn't want that.
He just want her to be happy, and if that means with someone else, then so be it.
He finished his breakfast and headed for the bathroom to take a shower.
'I need to call Gwen, as soon as I'm dressed, I will call her and ask her to meet me around lunch time,' he thought to himself.
He chuckled quietly to himself, as he stepped into the shower.
'You're so hopeless Lance, you are about to break your own heart, the saying is indeed correct, nice guys finish last,' he thought to himself.
He shook his head and laughed again, but this time a bit more sadly.
Gwen awoke feeling much more rested than she had in a while.
She made her way to the kitchen and found it empty.
Although she loved her parents, she was glad that she was alone, because she needed the peace and quiet, to figure out what she wanted to say to Lance.
She knew within her heart that it won't be an easy task, but she knows it isn't fair to him, to keep going on as they are, giving him false hope.
She turned her focus to making her breakfast for a few minutes, when she felt her tummy rumble.
As she was feeling nervous, she decided to skip her usual breakfast of scrambled eggs on toast, and go for the toast only.
She made herself some chamomile tea to calm her stomach, after which, she sat quietly and ate.
While she was having her breakfast, a thought occurred to her.
She found herself wondering if she should talk to her mum before she spoke to Lance.
She thought about it for a few minutes before she made her decision.
'I'll have a chat with my mum first. She's always been good at giving advice, and I'm really in need of some. She's fair and wise and I trust her, I trust dad too, but he's…dad, and he'll just tell me what I want to hear, bless him,' she thought as she finished her breakfast.
She cleaned up for a bit, and then headed for the bathroom to take a shower. Whilst in the shower, she made up her mind to talk to her mum as soon as she was up, and then she would call Lance and speak to him.
Arthur Pendragon was not a morning person.
To him it always came too soon, and he always feels grouchy until he's had his breakfast.
This present morning was different, because he awoke with a purpose. He was up at the crack of dawn, although he went to sleep late, and he had showered and eaten his breakfast, by the time the clock struck seven.
He thought about what he had to do and who he should speak to first. He wanted to call Gwen first and invite her over to talk, but he also knew that she wouldn't come unless he was completely detached from Vivian.
He smiled then, as he thought about how different Gwen is from other girls.
'This is one of the reasons why I love Guinevere, some girls wouldn't care if I'm single or married, they would just come over, but not my Guinevere,
she cares about people, and she never does anything malicious or out of spite. My life would be so much better with her in it,' he thought.
He sat for a while allowing his thoughts to focus on Gwen, and he found himself falling further in love with her.
The effect she has on him is one he can't fathom, he knows she owns his heart and it will never belong to any other woman, that much he is sure about, and he wants her to know it too.
He continued in a dream-like trance, thinking about the woman he loves and wondering what she's doing at that precise moment.
After a while of just sitting and thinking about Gwen, Arthur decided to call his father, and tell him he won't be in to work at all for the day.
With that settled he sat for a bit more, and his mind drifted on to his mum.
She had died when Arthur and Morganna were both ten years old, and her death left a huge hole in the hearts of three remaining Pendragons.
His father, Uther, had never remarried, and he threw all of his time and energy into managing his very lucrative company.
Arthur and Morganna had a reasonably good childhood, and most of the time they were happy, despite losing their mum.
They had the best of everything money could buy, and their father showed them love and cared for them.
Arthur sat reminiscing about the wonderful times he and his sister has had with their mum, and a sad smile graced his lips.
He remembers the beautiful kind woman that was his mum, whom everyone said he took after, in looks and ways, and wished she were here with him now.
'I could do with you here mum, you always knew what to say and do. This is one of those times that I really need you,' he thought to himself.
A heavy sigh escaped his lips, as he pulled himself from his thoughts, and picked up his phone to call Vivian.
Gwen had just come out of the shower, and was just about to put on her clothes, when her phone rang. She picked it up and answered,
"Hello."
The person on the other line hesitated for a beat before answering,
"Hi Gwen, this is Lance. I hope I didn't wake you."
Gwen was a bit surprised when she heard Lance's voice; she wasn't expecting to hear him that early, considering he went out drinking the night before.
"Hi Lance, no you didn't wake me, I was uh… up already. So, how are you? Did you guys have a good time last night?" she finished by asking.
Lance hesitated for a few seconds, as he gathered himself together.
"I'm fine Gwen, and yeah, we all had a great time last night.
Speaking about last night, I did some thinking and I've made a decision about something important,
something that concerns us, and I was wondering if you can set aside some time around lunch today, for us to talk. It's very important, so….," he trailed
off.
Gwen's heart leapt, and she wonders if he had somehow noticed her feelings for Arthur. She told him,
"Sure Lance, I'll make the time. Where would you like to meet?" Lance thought for a second before he answered.
"The lawns outside the hospital where you work should be fine; I'll be there around twelve o'clock, so you can look out for me, okay?"
Gwen couldn't fight the nervous feeling that had suddenly taken over her small frame; she nodded absent-mindedly, and only
caught herself when she heard Lance asking her, "Okay?" again.
"Uh…yeah that's fine, I'll see you then, bye Lance," she said, and they both hung up.
She picked up her clothes and started dressing as she replayed the conversation that had just taken place with Lance.
She remembers how flat and cheerless he had sounded, as he spoke to her, and she couldn't help but to feel slightly put-off at that.
She finished dressing for work and decided to go in search of her mum.
She found her mum just as she was heading to the kitchen.
"Good morning mum, where's dad?" she asked. Her mother smiled at her and said,
"Morning sweetheart, you look lovely. Um… dad is still asleep; he says he is getting as much rest as he can before we leave for our trip. Were you about to go darling?"
Gwen held her mum's hand and led her to the kitchen.
"Soon mum, I…uh…I wanted to speak to you before I go, if you don't mind," she told her mum.
Mary- Ann Johnson knew her daughter very well, and she could tell that there was something weighing heavily on her mind.
"Of course I don't mind love, I'm your mum. Now tell me, what's troubling you," she said.
Gwen wasn't sure where to start, so she started at the beginning, from the time she met Morganna and her brother and his friends. She spoke about finding herself liking Lance and hanging out with him, in her spare time.
She spoke about the failed dates the two of them went on, and how she had only thought of Lance as a brother.
She went on to tell her mum about Lance falling in love with her, and all she wanted was friendship from him.
She told her mum about finding herself liking Morganna's brother Arthur and subsequently falling for him.
She came to a point in the conversation, which made her nervous as to what her mum might think of her, the point where she told her that somewhere along the lines; she decided to stick with Lance, because she didn't have the heart to break up with him.
At his point she started to sob silently and her mum embraced her and told her,
"It's okay love, you didn't do anything wrong, I probably would have done the same thing myself."
Gwen composed herself momentarily and continued.
She told her mum about feeling trapped in the relationship with Lance and feeling unhappy everyday.
She spoke about the sadness overwhelming her to the point, that she cries herself to sleep at night, and at this, tears flowed silently down her mum's cheeks.
She paused to wipe her mum's tears, and then she continued. She told her mum about the conversation with Morganna and how it forced her to finally admit that she doesn't love Lance and that she loves Arthur and wishes to be with him.
She went on to tell her mother that after lying in her bed and thinking about everything, she actually realized that Arthur has feelings for her, and may even
love her.
She came to the present, where she told her mother that she had made up her mind to tell Lance the truth and end things with him,
"…that's why I wanted to speak to you mum," she finished.
Gwen's mother sat silently for a few minutes, processing everything that her daughter had told her.
She reached for her hand and told her,
"I had no idea you were going through this love, sometimes I've seen that you were a bit distant, but I always thought, that if it was something serious, I would know.
What kind of mother am I, that I don't even know when my own daughter is hurting? I got so wrapped up in the trip and planning everything…I'm so sorry love, forgive me.
I want you to be happy, I want to be able to look at you and tell that you are happy, always, and if you can find that with Arthur, then I'm behind you one
hundred per cent.
It doesn't make sense staying with someone that you don't love, it's not right, neither is it healthy, and you both deserve to be happy with
someone you love, and loves you back.
It might be hard at first, but Lance will get over it, and he will find love, I believe that with all my heart and I want you to believe it too.
You only have to answer to yourself; no one is living your life except for you, and remember, no one is perfect, you have to know when to walk
away.
So do what you have to do and do it for yourself, okay. I love you my sweet Gwennie, never forget that."
Gwen hugged her mum fiercely.
"Thank you mum, I feel so much better already. I knew you would understand, um…can…can we keep this between us…for
now, I'll tell dad, but not right now, okay?" she asked.
Her mother looked at her and chuckled softly.
"Of course love, you're a big girl now, you can tell him whenever you want to. My lips are sealed," she said, and made a zipping motion.
"Now go before you end up being late. Have a wonderful day sweetheart," she finished.
Gwen smiled sweetly with her mum. She hugged her again and told her,
"Thank you mummy and you have a great day too. Tell dad bye for me."
With that, she went to her room and picked up her bag, and headed out the door, with her world suddenly looking much brighter.
As usual, this chapter got away from me, and this is what I ended up with. I had lots of problems trying to get this chapter finished. The power cord for my laptop, isn't co-operating, I think it is on its last legs, so it might take longer for me to get the next chapter to this and my other story out, I don't know, we'll see, because I don't want to disappoint anyone. Anyway, I hoped this was good enough.