Die Affäre

The Affair

~.~.~

The act of loving her was hard and yet so simple that Ludwig simply gave himself up to the feeling and immersed himself in it. Often times, he wondered about his brother and lamented greatly at the loss Gilbert must be feeling. To be in love and have that love unquenched and taken away before sweet confession, how could someone live that way?

From the opening of the bedroom he stood silently leaning against the wooden door frame. His powerful arms crossed and a smile gently touched the corners of his mouth lifting them. The girls, he thought, my girls.

Three daughters, curled blond hair and sweet faces, his angels. Ludwig wondered how it came that his daughters were such a perfect blend of himself and Felicia, they were so perfect. When he wondered about his girls and his wife he began to remember his father and his mother and then new questions came. Why did his mother leave? When had their marriage become so unhappy? Why did his father beat only Ludwig? How could his mother be so cruel as to leave and never send word to her children?

The image of his mother the day she left haunted him. Her short curly blond hair swaying in light spring breeze as she walked down the drive way and down the street. Her pale pink coat swaying, her hands heavy, a suitcase held in each and the sound of her heeled shoes hitting the pavement. He remember calling out to her as she left and louder his cries when she climbed into the car down the street. He had been inconsolable after the car pulled off and became smaller, slighter in his vision and Gilbert just stood here, his face turned away staring into the mouth of the house at their father who had burried his head in his hands and wept.

It all seemed sad back then, so terribly sad and yet there was something to that moment that Ludwig had missed. He'd been young when his mother left, and had only remembered the best about her and the worst of his father. But, thinking back on the moments that mattered that truly meant anything the moments spent with her alone and suddenly...

He loved his daughters with all of his heart, loved Felicia and knew that he would die without them, without her and from the moment he met his wife he'd known that unmistakable pull at his heartstrings, to be with her always, never let go. When the girls had been born it only made his love grow stronger until there was no doubt that this is where he needed to be, this father was who he was meant to be since the beginning and everything else had become nothing. The pain he had felt back then as a child vanished because now he was a father now he was a husband. The bad times had truly ended.

But, when he remembered the day his mother left it often left him with an empty feeling in the pit of his stomach and an ache in his heart, he couldn't quite understand how someone could leave their family and move on.

Then he wondered about his brother. Poor Gilbert shouldered all of the responsibility, had raised Ludwig as best he could and even to the extent of their father. He had taken the beatings and the sadness, the days when mother was so missed the most he brought joy and smiles and a little bit of mischief. Sometimes their father would laugh, Ludwig remembered, sometimes Father would laugh and the monster would be gone. Sometimes he would go days and days without drinking because Gilbert would bring out the best in him for a moment.

Was it too much to ask for Gilbert to be happy? Was it too much to pray for, that Gilbert who had never asked for a single thing, to find joy in his heart and love? Was it too much to ask for Elizabeta to come back?

He imaged his brother and the life he should have had. Gilbert would have eventually married Elizabeta and they would fight but all the fighting was playing and all the playing meant they loved each other, Ludwig knew, and the children they would have had. Another perfect blending of their parents. Gilbert would be happy, would never have to know a lonely day and Elizabeta would be with them.

But things had not turned out the way Ludwig would have wanted them to, no, Roderich had become selfish and had taken her away and had lied to her presumably. Unless Elizabeta just did not want to be bothered with them which Ludwig doubted. His closed his tired blue eyes, feeling the sting of tears. Again the vision of his mother's back as she left them, the sound of his father's sobbing and their comforting weight of his brother hand on his small shoulder. What could it mean, Gilbert looking away? His mother, that day had spoken to Gilbert in hushed tones, just before she left. What was it about? Ludwig didn't dare ask.

What did it all mean?

He eased himself from the door frame and closed the door on his sleeping angels. Turning, he slowly walked down the hall and into the opened bedroom. Felicia was sitting at the dresser brushing her beautiful dark hair. He watched her as she did this, the thick brass handle held in her tiny hand, the brush untangling her hair. Her face calm and serene, doe eyes focused on the picture taped to the corner of the mirror, the girls.

She had to know that he was there, she didn't move as he walked against the carpeted floor towards her until he stood directly behind her. His hands came up and rested on her shoulders, her hand left the brush on the dresser and came to rest on his hand taking it and placing his palm at her cheek which she kissed. She stood, lavender night dresses swaying slightly at the movement, and she placed herself flush against him. He held her tightly.

How could anyone walk away from this?

He banished the thought, of his mother and Elizabeta and of his father. But Gilbert remained prominent, the memory of that day remaining. What had she said to Gilbert? Why had she left.

And a smaller voice sounded in the back of Ludwig's mind, his own childlike voice.

Why didn't she take us?

He decided that tomorrow he would pay his brother dear a visit.

I know everyone wanted more Lizzie and Gilbo but I wanted to introduce Luddy and Feli. This story isn't going to be a quick paced at the other one and Ludwig needed to be introduced due to the plot of the story. As you all remember from "The Story of You and Me" there is mention that Gilbert and Ludwig's father became a drunk after their mother left. This is Ludwig's recollection of that day, also its a big part of this story too. I hope you like my Ludwig, I've never really written him before so I was nervous. Anywho please give me some thoughts on Ludwig or on the story in general. It takes me a while to update this story because there needs to be a certain mood for it. Found a good soundtrack so hopefully that'll speed up the process. No flames please. Hope you like the newest chapter!