Where the hell have I been? So sorry! I plan on concentrating more on this story so I don't get lost in my own timeline here…took way too long of a break! Thanks for all the kind reviews…love you all!
3 months later…
"Finn!" Rachel yells out as she spots a beer bottle on their coffee table without a coaster.
"What? I just put down Zachary, please be quiet" he said walking out of his bedroom and into the living room.
"You never use a coaster and I'm getting really sick and tired of telling you" she said as she lifts his bottle up and cleans the table with a rag. "And now that we both have the luxury of being with each other morning and night, I notice that you don't use one for your morning coffee either" she says giving him a glance.
"Whatever" he says under his breath as he goes into the kitchen to get a new beer.
"Finn! Now that Zachary is walking around, you can't just leave a beer bottle on the table for him to grab too. Please be more careful" she said barking at him.
"Ok, honey" he said snidely.
"Oh so you're just going to sit here and drink all night and not do anything?" she snidely asks him as she watches him walk in the kitchen with pajama pants and shirtless
"What Rachel? You have been down my back the last week and I have no idea why!" he starts to yell. "You know that I've been looking for a job every day, and what the hell do you expect me to do at night?' he asks her as he walks in the living room to put the TV on.
"Keep busy I guess" she says as she continues to clean.
"Fine" he says as he gets up to walk in their bedroom.
Rachel watches him walk in their room and expects him to go to bed angry, like they both have the last few months really. They have not been intimate since Finn lost his job, and it's been nothing but a stressful situation. Funny how life changes when you lose a job and have a kid. 3 months without sex nearly killed Finn a few years back, now it's almost as if he hasn't even noticed.
Rachel has been looking non-stop for work, but can't seem to have any luck either. Finn has sent out resumes to every TV and radio station he can think of. Neither of them have had any luck, and it's taken a toll on their marriage. Even though they have spent a lot more time together, it's turned out to be taxing on their relationship. They both want to desperately find something to be the hero in the family.
"Where are you going?" she asked Finn as he walked out of their bedroom dressed in jeans and a button down shirt.
"Out" he said as he grabbed his keys and headed towards the door. "Don't wait up" he said as he shut the door behind him.
Rachel just shook her head, but wasn't too worried about him leaving. She figured she pissed him off, and neither of them have had any time away from each other…she actually thought it might be good for the both of them. I could put my pajamas on with a glass of wine and watch a movie in peace, she thought to herself.
Later that night…
Finn had entered their condo very quietly. It was 3:30 in the morning, and he was gone a lot longer than he wanted to…Or I should be, he thought to himself. He tip toed as he gently put his keys down on the kitchen table as he took his shoes off and headed towards their bedroom. The door was cracked open, so he lightly pushed it open as he walked through while unbuttoning his shirt. He walked towards the bathroom to brush his teeth, and threw some water on his face. He unzipped his pants while walking towards their bed and threw them on the floor as he got under the covers. He felt Rachel close to his side, so he put his arm around her as he started to doze off.
"You smell like a girl" Rachel blurted out. "And sweat" she said without flinching.
"Huh?" he asked her, but knew he probably did.
"Were you at a strip club? Because if so, please take your arm off of me and go shower" she said squirming away.
"No, I didn't go to a strip club. I went to Stephanie's bar" he said quietly.
"Oh" she sighed. "I guess I saw that coming" she said pulling away from him and turning over.
"I have something to tell you" he said turning towards her and hugging her from behind.
"You had an affair" she said monotone.
"What?" he asked shocked. "No!" he said out of disbelief. "Baby…" he said and then stopped to gather his words. "I ended up bartending there tonight and they loved me" he said still holding on to her.
"What? Bartending?" she asked staring at the wall.
"Yeah…Stephanie has been lacking bartenders. When I went there, I was telling her about our problems…"
"Finn" she sighed interrupting him.
"No relax. Not like personal problems…but just our problems about needing to find work" he said kissing the back of her shoulder. "So, she gave me an audition" he said.
"Audition?" she asked puzzled.
"Well, being a bartender is very similar to being an actor" he said to her with confidence. "You have to be this part. It's all a game really…where you have to play the role of everyone's best friend. Stephanie explained this all to me tonight. I have to make everyone believe that I'm into them…"
"INTO them?" she asked worried.
"Well…you know…like you and Nick in that part the last 3 years. You had to make everyone believe that you were the IT couple. You had to BE that part. I realized bartending is the same thing. And you know what babe? I'm actually pretty good at it" he said proudly of himself.
"Great" she said unsure of herself. "So, you went from evening news sportscaster on the television to a… bartender?" she asked mocking his choice of career.
"Rachel, this is not how I was brought up. We need to keep our income flowing, and I'm the head of the house…even though we all know you really are the head, or at least in charge of the head…but nonetheless, I'm STILL the head…and I need to find a way to keep this family going." He said holding on to her tighter.
"You're right, I'm sorry" she said turning around to face him. "Thanks for caring enough, and for doing whatever it takes" she says as she sighs.
Rachel is not very happy about what he's telling her, but she has to admit she found a great guy who wants to provide and do anything it takes to make sure everyone is safe and happy in their household. She's just more upset at herself not being able to find work. I've been nominated for a Tony 3 consecutive years in a row! She shouts in her head
"Honey" she says to him.
"Yes" he says kissing her shoulder.
"Please shower though, you DO smell" she says as nicely as possible.
Finn nods and doesn't say anything. He gets up to take a shower, and Rachel just lays in bed contemplating where they are in their lives. Great, my husband went to college so he can bartend, and I can't find work at the ripe old age of 27. A few more years, and I'll be ancient in this business. I have to keep acting to keep my skills alive…I have to broaden my choices, she thinks to herself as she figures she'll make a few phone calls tomorrow.
The next day…
"Finn!" Rachel yells out from their bedroom while getting ready to go out.
"What?" he says walking in their bathroom as she's brushing her hair.
"I'm going out to lunch with Nick, he said he can get me an audition for a part" she said doing the finishing touches on her make-up.
"Fine" Finn says rolling his eyes. "Will you be back in time for me to leave for work?" he asked her while leaning his head on the wall by the door.
"Yes" she says sighing. "But hopefully this will mean you won't HAVE to serve alcohol every night to those slutty girls, undressing you with their eyes every night" she says mocking his job.
"Rach, I told you, it's just a job. I get more tips when I let them flirt with me" he said trying to prove his point. "In fact…" he says as he walks behind her and hugs her. "I make enough money where I was thinking we can start trying again" he whispers in her air and then nibbles on it.
"Uhhhh, no" she says backing away from and turning to face him. "I think we need to wait" she says nodding her head.
"You know Rachel…if I didn't know any better, I would think you don't even want another kid right now…jobless or not" he says staring her in the eyes.
"Uhhhh no, wha-wha-why would you think that?" she says looking around.
"Because you were too quick on the draw as soon as I told you I lost my job. And I've been actually making really good money bartending, while still looking for work…we really didn't need to stop our plans" he said looking at her pensively. "And furthermore…you have only been concentrating on finding YOU work, not me!" he said pointing to himself.
"Fine!" she said breaking their contact. "After I lost the Tony, I was scared that…that was it" she said putting her hands on her hips and staring at the floor.
"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked her confused. "I'm sick of you keeping things from me Rachel" his voice started to get louder.
"Because I didn't know it myself, Finn. I didn't realize how much I love the stage" she said pleading.
"Yes you did" he said interrupting her. "Everyone and anyone who knows you, knows how much you love …attention" he said replacing the word "stage" with "attention". "Funny, how I'm the one getting attention now, and you don't like it" he said smirking.
"Finn that's just stupid, you get attention all the time. You were the hunky sportscaster on the evening news in the NUMBER ONE market for over 3 years! I see the way girls look at you when we go out in public Finn…and when you became noticeable, it was even more so" she said throwing her arm up.
"At least that's in the privacy of people's MINDS Rachel…they undress me with their eyes, meanwhile you did the work for all the men to see when you were on stage making out half naked, with Nick" he matches her movements by throwing his arm up as well.
"Then become an actor" she says biting back.
"I am" he says looking at her. "I'm an actor behind that bar making good tips for our child's future. You just do it for your own self pleasure" he said turning around. "Be home by 4 please" he said as he walked away.
"What an ass" she mumbled to herself putting her make-up away.
When Rachel meets Nick for lunch, he's already sitting down at the table.
"Hi babe" Nick says as he gets up to kiss her cheek and guide her to her seat.
"Thanks for meeting me, so let's get right to it…what's the part?" she asked him barely getting situated in her chair.
"Good, thanks for asking" he said alluding to the fact that she didn't ask how he was.
"Sorry…I'm just stressed out. It's been a hellish few months, and I'm going crazy stuck in the house with Finn all day long" she said grabbing her ice water from the table.
"Getting on each other's nerves?" he asked with a small chuckle.
"Well I think it's just the stress…and-and-and he doesn't seem to be worried that we're both unemployed with a baby and a mortgage now!" she says flipping to the wine list.
"Day drinking?" he asked her lifting his eyebrow.
"You got a problem with that?" she jumped at him.
"No not at all…you might need one when I tell you what audition I got you anyway" he said also flipping to the wine list.
"Can I get you guys something to drink?" the waiter asked as he walked to their table.
"Yes, we'll have a bottle of the… Chardonnay?" he asked Rachel as he looked at her. She nodded in agreement. "Chardonnay" he said smiling to the waiter.
"Ok, soooo…what's the part? I was sort of hoping it would be Million Dollar Quartet, I heard the lead woman in there is leaving this summer" she said waiting to hear back from Nick.
"Well..it's not exactly on Broadway…" Nick said slowly.
"That's ok…I can do an off-Broadway play…my talent shines bright enough where they'll be able to hear me loud enough FROM Broadway every night" she said with confidence.
" Well they might be able to hear you loud enough from the ABC studios…"
"Studios?" she asked cutting him off.
"I got you an audition for a TV show" he said.
"Ok…I can handle that. I wasn't expecting any television appearances until after I've conquered theatre and film, but I suppose if it's in good taste…" Rachel says trying to ration this out.
"It's definitely been around since the 70's…so they're doing something right" Nick says looking around for the waiter hoping he's bringing the wine.
"70's? What television show has been around since the 70's?" Rachel asks confused.
"All My Children" Nick says mumbled to the point where Rachel can't understand his words.
"What? What did you say?" she asked leaning into the table.
"All My Children" Nick said looking her straight in the eyes.
"The SOAP OPERA?" she yells out to Nick, as the waiter finally came with their bottle of wine.
"Yeah…I am friends with one of the writers and he told me they're writing some new characters, so I was able to get you the audition before anyone knew about it." He says smiling taking a sip of his wine.
"But I can't be in a soap opera, those are for actors just starting out. I mean…it's at the bottom of the food chain as far as acting goes! It's one step lower from reality shows…No one goes from BROADWAY to…to…to a SOAP OPERA" she says letting out a deep sigh.
"Look Rachel, I completely understand, but you called me in dire straits for an acting position. There's a Broadway part that I might be taking on, but I have to wait 4 months, and I know you can't wait that long. It's this…or stay at home with Finn all day" he says smirking.
"A soap opera" she repeats glancing off into to space, and downing her entire glass of wine.
"Oh come on kid, it's not that bad. You know how many people would kill for a full time acting gig on All My Children?" he said taking another sip of his wine.
"Would you take it?" she asked pouting.
"Hell no" he said almost laughing. "But I'm not married with a kid and unemployed" he said digging it in even worse.
"Crap! I have a kid" she yells out remembering she can't be careless and drink because she has to be home by 4.
"Do you know how many great actors who started off on soap operas?" he asked her.
"Yeah, but they STARTED on a soap opera. Going from a Broadway show to the Tony awards…to-to- to a cheap, daytime soap? It's gonna kill my career! Everyone is going to say 'hey isn't that that beautiful young, talented actress from Broadway, who is now burying her ex husband alive and sleeping with his brother on that soap?' No way…NO WAY!" she said freaking out like she already has the part.
"Rachel you need to calm down. Would you rather go to working at a box office and ripping tickets as an usher again? At least this is an acting gig!" he said throwing his hand up. "Look" he said calming his demeanor down and grabbing her hand, "I understand, but this is just temporary. You can sit at home all day and watch Finn go work at the bar with all these women all over him, OR you can go on this audition and be busy acting again. You never know what this can lead to anyway" he said trying to convince her.
"You're right, I have to think of my family. The pay is probably good, and at least I'll be acting. This actually may be good to add to my resume. I've never done a soap opera" she said smiling.
"There's that smile I love to see" Nick says smiling back. "You know that's it's always easier to find a job when you already have one too. Something may open up, or maybe someone is writing something for you as we speak" he said.
"I told the producers from 'Spring Awakening' to start writing something for me. I'm sure they are busy trying to figure out the details that's all" she said taking a sip of her water.
"Great, I'll call my guy now and tell him you're interested and see when they can take you" Nick said as he got up from the table to find a quieter spot.
This might actually be fun. I should probably be grateful that I'd be on television before I'm 30. Perhaps I'm being too judgmental, and shouldn't assume this is vocational suicide for me, Rachel thinks to herself as Nick is on the phone.
"Ok, I have great news! They want to fill this part sooner than later. They want to see you at 5 today!" he said enthusiastically.
"Oh my God, that's great news! I have to tell Finn that he's going to have to be late for work then. He needed me home by 4 so he can leave" she said searching for her phone.
"Oh there's no need Rachel, I can watch Zack for you while you go on your audition" he said.
"Thanks Nick that is really sweet of you, but Finn is still mad over the almost killing Chad incident" she said shaking her head. "Personally, I don't care, it's just a stupid fish, but he'll be pissed if you are babysitting Chad." She said.
"Do you realize how ridiculous that sounds?" he asked her laughing.
"Have you MET my husband?" she said sarcastically.
Rachel got Finn's voicemail, so she left him a message telling him he needs to stay home. "Ok, let's eat so I can get back home and change for the big role, shall we?" she says bringing her water glass up to Nick's wine glass.
"Now I got to finish this whole bottle all by myself thanks to you" he said smiling.
When Rachel gets back to their condo, she runs in with excitement to tell Finn the good news.
"Finn!" she yells out throwing her keys on the table.
"Hey, be quiet I just put Zack down for a nap" he said walking over to her. "How was your lunch?" he asked not too pleased and still slightly pissed at her.
"It was good, didn't you get my message?" she asked.
"I did, but I can't go in late today, I'm the only bartender there until 7" he said walking passed her to grab something to eat from the kitchen.
"Finn, who cares about your stupid bartending job. This is a REAL job…and I think I pretty much have it…I mean, they want to see me right away. You can go when I get back if you love it so much" she said not understanding.
"Rachel! It's always about you isn't it?" he said.
"No Finn!" she yells cutting him off, "this is about US, and the baby. This is a great opportunity, and for your information…I don't necessarily want to work on a soap opera, but it pays good and we'll have insurance" she said trying to ration with him.
"But it's not Rachel. It's about you wanting to be the one working, and more importantly stay in the career that you have chosen for yourself. You care more about your career. We have a lot of money saved…" he said.
"Which will run out unless one of us finds a CAREER, not some stupid bartending job" she says cutting him off.
"..AND I make good money while I'M THE ONE who will find the career" he said finishing his point.
"Why can't we both have a career Finn? We talked about this." she said.
"No, YOU talked about this. You said after a few years on Broadway, you would want to settle down for awhile and have children and raise them" he said getting ingredients out to make a sandwich.
"Right, but things change because you lost your job. Didn't matter whether or not I wanted to go back to work" she said walking away.
"Where are you going?" he asked her.
"Going to get ready. I'm going on that audition" she said slamming their bedroom door.
When Finn finished his sandwich, he went to their bedroom to change. He noticed she was in the bathroom getting ready, so he quietly changed and grabbed his keys. He left without saying goodbye. She's so gonna kill me for this, but this will teach her a lesson, he thought as he shut the door and left.
Shit, Finn thought to himself as he was walking down the stairs. I can't leave without telling her, because of Zack. Finn walked back through their door, and straight to their master bathroom. He opened the door and Rachel was already out of the shower drying herself off.
"Finn, I really don't want to argue about this anymore because I need to be in a good mood when I audition in an hour" she said drying her hair with the towel.
"I'm done talking about it too. I just came in here to tell you I'm leaving for work, and Zack should be getting up any minute so keep an ear out" he said as he walked out of the bathroom an through their bedroom door.
"Finn!" Rachel yelled out, and then she started to follow him. She was dripping wet naked, but she didn't care. "You can't leave, I have no one to watch Zack" she said staring him down.
"Not my problem" he said.
"Fine, I'm calling Nick and he'll do it. He's always there for me" she says as she goes to grab her phone.
"You are NOT calling that fish killer to come over here and watch our son" he said walking towards her.
"Not my problem Finny" she said starting to dial. "You won't stay home, I have no one else".
"But that's just it Rachel…if you can't find a babysitter for tonight, how will you find one 5 days week?" he asked her taking her phone from her hand.
"I assume you'd stay home, and quit the bar." she said quieting her voice.
"Go on your audition" he said putting his head down.
"You'll stay home?" she asked him smiling.
"No…you're going to take Zack with you. You want this job that bad, you'll figure it out" he said patting her shoulder as he started to walk away. "I'm not quitting the bar. I love my family, and I want to contribute monetarily" he said walking out the door.
Finn is no longer going to let Rachel make all the decisions. But he knows this potential soap opera gig will pay good money, and it will bring a stable income in. He's just scared and will feel defeated if she finds a job before him, and he'll be the one who is Mr. Mom. Most importantly, he knows if he ever wants sex again, that he'll have to allow her to do what makes her happy.
When Rachel finished getting ready, she started to fill the diaper bag with everything she can think of, because she doesn't know how long this audition will last. When she arrives to the studios, she is a few minutes late. She's already thinking she lost her chance when she arrived late, and on top of it…with her baby.
"Hi Ms. Berry, I'm the executive producer of All My Children. It's very nice to meet you" the guy said.
"Thank you, same here. I'm sorry I had to bring my son with, but I couldn't find a babysitter on such short notice" she said putting the diaper bag down on a chair. "But don't worry, he'll just sit here in his car seat, he's very good" she said in a convincing manor.
"Not a problem Ms. Berry, but I hope this means you won't be missing work because you can never find a babysitter" he says.
"No, No Sir. Absolutely not. I have a regular babysitter, it's just that she is at funeral today" she says lying. I better find an f'n babysitter pronto…that or my husband better quit his stupid little bartender job she thinks to herself faking a smile.
"Ok, well let's get started shall we?" he said.
"Great" Rachel said sitting the car seat down on the floor next to a chair where she put the diaper bag on. "Where's the script that you would like me to read?" she asked proudly.
"Actually…not sure if Nick told you, but we prefer you to sing for your audition" he said taking a seat behind the desk.
"Oh ok, sure" Rachel said somewhat confused. "What's the part?" she asked.
"You're a lounge singer" he said grabbing a pen and writing something down on a piece of paper.
"Ohhh ok" Rachel said enthusiastically. Of course, Rachel's mind went to Roxie or Velma in Chicago, so she was ok with her role. "Then I suppose it's a glamorous and lonely role huh? I'm just trying to feel the part" she said smiling big.
"Oh no worries…It's not exactly glamorous. You'll be playing a lounge singer, but also a hooker. You have been servicing a few of the elite business men in the area, but no one knows about it" he said with a straight face. "And you also were the guardian to the child from your ex-wife" he said.
"Wife?" she asked nervously.
"Yeah, you used to be a lesbian until you divorced her and decided to join the convent…then you realized it wasn't the life for you. So, you ran away, but needed a way to make money. You've been a whore ever since" he said smiling. "And now you just moved into Pine Valley".
"Ohhh ok, well I hope I won't have to audition for the hooker part of the role" she said trying to make a joke. "Orrrr, the lesbian" she said hesitantly.
"That won't be necessary. We saw your scenes in Spring Awakening. You got that sex part down" he said laughing with the other 2 producers who are also in the room. "Of course, we're not sure about the lesbian part, but your singing is all we want to hear, and then maybe have you read a few lines afterwards."
"Right" she said taking a deep sigh.
"Ok, go ahead and sing us whatever you want Rachel." He said.
"Ok" she said trying to think of a song to sing. As soon as she thought of it, she looks at all 3 of them in the eye, and starts to belt it out.
As Rachel is singing, Zachary starts to cry. Nooooo, please stop, she thinks to herself as she kept singing. Zack continued to get louder and move around, as if he's trying to get out of the car seat. Rachel didn't even bother to stop her song, she kept singing as she slowly made her way to his car seat to unbuckle him and hold him.
She never missed a beat. She kept singing the song, and she didn't miss any words as well. Rachel didn't even stop to think of how she was pulling this multi-tasking off. As Rachel kept singing the song, Zack kept squirming because he really wanted to get down. Once a baby learns how to walk, they never can sit for very long. Rachel ended up putting him down, and continued to the third verse of the song. Zack walked over to the diaper bag and kept pulling things out of it, and all Rachel can think of was how she was hoping this would end as soon as possible. She didn't let the producers see that. She faked the biggest smile possible while Zack continued to pour everything out of the diaper bag. He had grabbed Chad's fish food, because Rachel was in such a hurry to leave, she just threw everything in that bag without thinking. As Rachel continues to sing the last few notes, Zack is toying with the top and attempts to eat the fish food. Rachel's mind was going everywhere, but she couldn't 'show her anxiety, because she is a professional actor.
As soon as Rachel ended her song, she ran over to the floor to start to pick up all of the stuff Zack had thrown on the ground. She grabbed the food from Zack's hands and made sure the cap was sealed.
"Very nice thank you" one of the producers said.
"Uhhh ok…do you want me to read any lines?" she asked as she continued to stuff the diaper bag with all the things from the floor.
"No, no need. We'll give you a call tonight or tomorrow. You can go now" he said to her.
"Sir, I apologize" Rachel said as she picked up Zack in her hands. This is not normally how things go. I really would like a chance to read a line or two for you before I leave" she asked pleading.
"Ok, here's the script" one of the producers said as he walked over to Rachel to hand it to her. "Go ahead and read a few lines" he said smiling walking back to his chair.
"Thank you" Rachel said in relief thinking she may still have a shot. She looked at the script and began to read from it:
"Well, Mr. Hucklewagon, I'm not sure you can afford me. I've been working the streets ever since I left that convent. And let me tell you, some of the nuns in there paid me more to get them off then what you're offering me" Rachel said being the part of her role. Rachel looked up at them to see if she should go on.
"Go ahead and read that last line there Rachel, and that should be good" the producer said.
"Do you know how hard it was to whore it up in that convent? I was looking at the Lord's face every night, while I was pulling tricks with some of those nuns. I had a few of them on their backs pleading for more, like I was handing out communion wafers for free. And do you know how many marks and bruises I have on my face due to those huge gold crosses swatting me as I rocked them back in forth with those big rubber dildos" Rachel said proudly until she realized what she had just said. She instantly covered Zack's ears from her own words.
"Thanks Rachel, that's good" the producer said.
"Um sir, can you say that on daytime television?" she asked.
"Not really…that was a script from the rated r movie the character is based off of. We wanted to see how serious you were about this part and to see if you would do anything for it. Looks like you passed, congratulations" the producer said smiling.
"Really? I got the part?" she asked leaning her head in waiting for it to be confirmed.
"Yes, we've never seen anyone multi-task the way you did. I mean that song you sang was perfection, and for you to do that with your son screaming and throwing things in the background? Amazing!" he said proud of her.
"Thank you sir. I won't let you down" she said putting Zack down to walk.
As Rachel continued to gather her things, she turned around to ask one more question.
"When do I start?" she asked putting her hand on the door handle.
"You start Monday, 8am sharp" he said as she smiled and walked out the door.
"Well Zachary, that's how we Broadway stars do it" she said holding her head up high and walking to the elevator. It wasn't until she was going down in the elevator 'till she realized the part she'll be playing.
Aaaand, here we go again, she thought to herself as she figured she's going to have to tell Finn about this part. Also, he's going to have to stay home as well.
END OF CHAPTER 3
Disclaimer: I don't own All My Children, nor have I ever seen it. I just know they film it in New York. My apologies to nuns and the Christian faith as well.