03 Stalemate
05/11/09 -- 1766 words
Disclaimer: I don't own Lupin the Third (Monkey Punch) or Harry Potter (Rowlings).
AN: And here is update number 3. Seems appropriate considering the animes involved. Hope you like this chapter, I know I did.
Warnings: Swearing, very minor Slashy bit easy to ignore, OOC (why do I put that when this is a crossover and by default the characters are OOC?)
The twins were not just professionals at generating distractions, they were masters. They took the term 'decoy' and turned it into an art form of epic, foundation rocking proportion.
-BANG-
Harry grinned ruefully in his hiding spot above the glass enclosure holding his target. If he wasn't mistaken that was the sound of one of the boys' experimental Whiz-Bang Rockets; an upgrade to their fireworks, the WBR was meant solely to provide distractions for quick get aways in sticky situations. 'And if Kenichi Zenigata doesn't count as one of those I don't know what does. Although, I really shouldn't have been surprised all things considered.'
The messy haired wizard only just found the strength of will to prevent himself from face palming. His twins, dear as they were to him, would undoubtedly kill him before Voldie and his Death Eaters could. But, given a choice between the two potential demises he would readily choose Gred and Forge every time.
-BANG-
'And that's the signal. Grab that pretty and get out of here.'
Lifting the grate out of the way, the would-be thief dropped his upper body through the vent and hung upside down over the glass case courtesy of a Feather Weight charm and Quidditch toned thighs. The presence of the ICPO detective more or less shot all their plans to hell so they had decided to fall back to plan B – "Smash, Grab, and Run Like Hell". The knuckle dusters on his right fist made short work of the glass while his left hand snatched the Phoenix Heart before the glass could hit the ground. He was up and retreating through the ducts as the alarm started screaming.
----
"Bloody fuck, bloody fuck, bloody fuck," Harry panted as he sling shot around a sharp right down another thrice bedamned hallway. Zenigata and his miserable little army had trapped the air ducts and an accidental burst of magic was the only thing preventing him from getting grabbed immediately. Now he was running for all his worth while simultaneously reliving his Harry Hunting younger days – the only difference between then and now was that with Dudley he only got beaten up, with Zenigata's troopers that would be the least of his worries.
"Crap, crap, crappity crap! Gred, Forge you boys are dead for getting me into this!" the black haired wizard yelled as he confronted the last thing he needed right now – a dead end. Very appropriate at the moment since he could hear Zenigata's voice directing the stampede of running feet from a couple halls to the left.
He was rudely yanked off his feet and up into the air as he was busy contemplating twincide. Instinctively, Harry reached up and wrapped his hand around the wrist hauling him up into the vents, his longer than average nails digging deep into the soft flesh of the wrist. Any more pressure and he would tear the skin – some preservation tendencies hadn't left since he started attending Hogwarts nine months out of the year and he would readily rip the bastards veins apart if necessary to escape.
"Damn, easy kid! We're the good guys," a gruff voice snapped. A moment later and Harry was unceremoniously dropped into the vent shaft but his grip held.
"Forgive me for not believing you sir," he sneered, doing his best Malfoy impression.
"Ah, come on kiddo! Let Jigen go, we coulda just left you for Pops to arrest after all," another, obscenely jovial, male voice interrupted. The man with the hat, Jigen, shook his hand to dislodge Harry's grip. In return, the smile Harry flashed was more a showing of a large quantity of very white, perfectly aligned teeth.
"Well, looks like our little friend here doesn't plan on letting you go anytime soon, so, what's say we escape and drag him along? Maybe we can get some answers about his Lupin IV character on the way," Jovial announced, the glee doing a good job of covering up the demand tacked onto the end. As if that was his cue, Jigen about faced and started dragging Harry behind him down the vent and over the wall that had blocked Harry in the hall.
----
"Forget killing them, I'm going to beat them both bloody for this," Harry hissed between clenched teeth as he ran pell mell behind the red jacketed form of Lupin III and Daisuke Jigen. The only ones missing were the female Mine and the samurai Goemon XIII. Oh, never mind, only Mine was missing seeing as the samurai just cut a gaping hole in the outer wall of the upper floor of the museum.
'And there went more of my inheritance than I really want to think about. I hope this place accepts anonymus donations,' the wizard mentally whined.
Once more he was yanked through the new 'door' and suddenly found himself in freefall for ten heart stopping seconds before the Pitt Rivers Museum roof met his trainers. We'll ingnore the grey hairs that sprouted as a bullet lodged in the roofing at his feet, spurring him into a mad dash to the opposite end of the Pitt Rivers Museum. He would readily throw his continued survival into the arms of his quirky magic then the gun happy pack of mongrels spewing from the hole in the Oxford Museum.
"I hate you all. Just thought you might like to know that," Harry yelled as he passed Lupin III to run beside Jigen. Let the red coated SOB deal with Zenigata's men, the ledge was mere feet away and then he'd be either free or dead. Thankfully any damages to the Pitt Rivers would be charged to the police agency, or agencies, involved so he could jump with a clear conscience.
----
"Crap! Goemon grab the kid!" Lupin yelped as the amateur thief took a flying leap off the museum's roof. The samurai a mere foot behind the teen, lunged forward and latched onto the trailing left arm. Flashing green eyes hardened as the boy viciously yanked his arm forward, pulling the precariously balanced Goemon off the roof with him.
"Consider yourself lucky I don't believe in murder or I'd just let you drop you dumbass. Who the hell grabs a jumper without anything to anchor themselves to?" the young thief snarled in his ear. Long, lanky arms that suggested future growth wrapped around his shoulders and pulled their bodies tight together. Really, anyone in his situation would have flushed too.
"Now, now sword boy. You can fluster later, right now I need to concentrate and hope to hell we come out of this with out our necks broken. Although, the might very well be preferable to having my spine snapped."
Before he could rebuke the presumptuous brat the encompassing sense of freefall stopped and his stomach lodged itself in his throat. If he was physically capable of it he would have scowled at the boy's soft laughter.
----
Fifteen minutes later and the teen was scowling at the lounging Lupin and Jigen as Goemon held Harry in place by the back of his neck. "Ya know, this is a really shitty way of thanking me for not leaving you to an inevitable and painful stop. It isn't my fault you decided to grab onto me when I jumped without securing yourself first. Or do I really come across as suicidal?" he groused.
"I don't think ya really want me to answer that kiddo. I mean, you hit the same museum at the same time as this Lupin IV character said he would and didn't expect trouble?" Lupin III asked, expertly rolling the Phoenix Heart through his fingers. That only made Harry scowl deeper, flashing his too white teeth once more.
"Oh, I expected trouble all right. I just wasn't expecting Kenichi Zenigata. Figured he'd be too busy chasing you to come 'round here."
Jigen snorted. "Did ya really think we'd just sit back and relax while someone besides Boss waves the Lupin name around? Hell no kid, we came to investigate and Zenigata rightly figured that's exactly what we'd do. So, I can take you're the mysterious Lupin IV, huh?"
Harry just glared and spat at his feet. Goemon squeezed his neck briefly in warning.
Lupin slipped the ruby into an inner pocket before straightening and wandering over to their captive. His jovial smile melted away into a fierce scowl as he crowded into Harry's personal space mere inches away from his face. "Now look kid. Copy cats aren't a new thing and sometimes it's even flattering but not when the copy cat is threatening to drag my families' name through the mud. And you, amateur, were threatening to do just that. But ya see, I'm a nice guy – I don't go after the small fries even though I coulda easily left you behind for Pops to capture while still making off with this little beauty. Good taste by the way. So, how about you cut the attitude and come straight with me?" he asked heatedly. His hackles rose at the slow smirk that crossed the little thief's face.
"Come straight? Alright Mr. Lupin, look behind you." Harry said pleasantly. Goemon's body tensed at the swift mood swing, hand grasping a little firmer. The samurai looked over at Jigen and swore viciously in a fluid language. 'Japanese or Chinese. Probably Japanese considering the Lupin gang's origin.'
"Goemon?"
Goemon jerked his head towards Jigen's position. It suddenly hit the red jacketed man that the sharpshooter, infamous for his grumblings, had been quiet for quite a while. Lupin straigtened slowly and turned his head to face Jigen.
Identical red head's grinned viciously at him, one restraining Jigen with an arm across his throat and his arms twisted up behind his back while the other pointed Jigen's own gun at him.
"I do believe Mr. Lupin that this is a stalemate. My mates won't let you hurt me and I have it on relatively good authority that you won't let them harm Mr. Gunman." Lupin gritted his teeth at the pleasant voice. 'I've been outsmarted by a bunch of little brats. Damn, if Fujiko hears about this I'll never live it down,' he mentally whined.
"Trade off?" he groused.
Harry smiled, showing off a normal amount of even white teeth, and nodded.
"That's the plan mate."
"Hand over Boss-"
"And we'll hand over Jigen."
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