As Connor steadily adjusted with accepting his sexuality, the physical aspect of our relationship grew. He got out of the habit of asking me for direct permission before touching me in any way. Nights where we spent more time making out than talking became more and more frequent, and Heavenly Father knows how hard it was to wind down. The two of us had nearly been caught doing things as simple as holding hands. Especially in a country where it's punishable by law, we really had to set a lot of boundaries we didn't want to.

I started dropping more hints about how much I wanted him, and he certainly reciprocated. Both of us, him in particular, had been so sexually repressed by the LDS Church that now that we had someone in a position where physicality would be appropriate, it was getting painstakingly hard to keep our hands off of each other.

What we needed was a safe haven. We needed somewhere to feel secure and alone together. Places like that aren't exactly abundant in Uganda, but we tried to ask around. Naba was the first person we went to, and turned out to be the only person we needed to. She was very understanding and sweet, and not at all surprised when we told her about our relationship. (Which made me wonder if anyone else knew.)

Naba told us there's a few man-made ditches about half a mile out of the village, constructed a few years ago in case of emergency. One of them, she says, has been carefully maintained and kept clean, while the other two fell victim to wildlife or disaster. She said the villagers rarely wander around there, since bad memories of warlord invasions and dust storms are what the holes are associated with. Needless to say, I couldn't believe our luck. Connor thanked her profusely. She slipped me a condom and something akin to lube before I could head out her door. I'm assuming they're both from her stash, but I'm definitely not going to spend too long thinking about her and Arnold's romantic life. (Terrible as it sounds, I still surprise myself whenever I remember he lost his virginity before I lost mine.)

We waited about an hour after lights out to make sure everyone was asleep, or at least drowsy enough to ignore any noises we made on our way out. He locked the door behind us and took my hand, and we made our way silently to the dug out according to Naba's directions. After walking for about a quarter of an hour, we stumbled upon a tightly woven hatch in the ground, which I lifted open. I helped Connor down the five rungs or so to the floor below. It was layered with padding and quilts, clean and pressed and probably put down by Naba earlier today. (Such a sweetheart.) In the corner were some wooden crates that must've contained supplies for the dug outs' actual purpose. A rusty oil lamp sat on top of one of them and cast a glow just bright enough for us to see each other.

We kicked off our shoes and set our ties and belts and other needless attire off to the side, leaving us sitting cross legged across from each other in our undergarments, and unsure of where to go from there. He fidgeted and bit his lip, both obvious signals of discomfort. I had to say something, anything to talk him down.

"At least it's not too warm down here," I started.

He nodded and smiled softly. "It might get cold later, who knows."

I had started a weather conversation. Not foreplay material. I tried again.

I tried to grin coyly. "We'll have an excuse to cuddle then."

He smirked at that. "Would we need an excuse anyways?"

Chuckling, I leaned up into his face and gently brushed our noses. "Fair point."

His breath hitched, our lips met, and the floodgates opened. I cupped his cheek in one hand and pressed the other one to the ground just past his hip. He reached up behind my back to lay his hands on my shoulders, all the while only breaking away from my mouth to catch the smallest of breaths. His hands started to move and suddenly his touch was all over me and he was the only thing I could taste or comprehend. Every want I had turned into a need.

I felt him tug at the bottom of my garment shirt and guided his hands to pull it up over my head. His hands flitted over my chest, my arms, my stomach, all eager and begging. Our lips kept brushing, and somewhere along the way tongue got involved and I was deep in his mouth. His groans vibrated against my lips and I held him close by the back of his neck. My bottoms were off before I could notice. I'll never get over how good he is with his hands.

He pressed urgent, quick kisses up and down the arch of my neck. I made a few attempts to get him undressed without disrupting the flow of things, but eventually he caught on and stopped and let me fumble his clothes off. He went immediately back to sucking a corner of my collarbone. I felt our groins brush and we both shivered and whined. The overwhelming sensation of skin on skin was intoxicating.

"Connor, wait," I giggled a little and steadied him a few inches away from me. His eyes were glazed over and his pupils were dilated, and it might have been the hottest thing I'd ever seen. "Let's figure something out quick, okay?"

He looked genuinely confused. "Okay?"

I figured out at that point that stopping everything was a mistake. "One of us should top, I think."

"Oh, that's kind of important." He laughed nervously and rubbed his thumb over my shoulder, waiting for me to continue. I didn't know what to say, so I sat thinking and ended up letting him work himself into an anxious and horny mess, which isn't a great combination. He'd started rubbing my shoulder so fast it was getting warm.

"You're going to a burn a hole through my skin, Con," I took his hand off of my shoulder and held it in mine.

"Sorry, I'm just-nervous, is all." He squeezed my hand and I kissed him as gently as I could manage.

"You're fine. This'll be fine, okay? We're just figuring it out."

He chuckled under his breath. "We may as well just flip a coin, with how decisive we've been tonight."

"Oh, perfect!" I crawled over to where my pants lay and dug out some spare coins, along with Naba's gifts, and went back over to Connor. He looked nothing short of befuddled. He saw the coin and gave me a look.

"It'll get us where we're going, okay, just pick a side."

"I'll take tails, which means you're heads."

"Shouldn't that just sort this out?" I joked, mostly to cool my own nerves.

He gave me a look of mock distaste. "You're not funny."

I balanced the coin on my thumb and flicked it. Catching it, I slapped it down onto my wrist and pulled my hand away to reveal tails.

A vivid, burning blush creeped over Connor's skin. I tilted his chin and kissed his cheeks and lips a few times.

"How do you, uh, want to go about this?" I stroked the back of his neck and prepared to roll over. He shook his head, skin still ruddy and flushed.

"I want to be able to see you."

"Oh." That was the only response I could muster. I felt a little relieved as he laid me back on the blankets, holding me under my back while he placed tentative, open-mouthed kisses all over my chest and neck. I reached around for the condom and slipped it to Connor, who fumbled with the wrapper a few moments before successfully rolling it on. He moaned quietly when I made the effort to lube him up myself. With all the nerves that must have been racking his system, I wouldn't have put it past him to forget.

He broke away from the kisses and just looked at me for a moment. His eyes were so piercing I almost looked away. "Are you alright?"

I nodded. He kissed the side of my mouth and slowly pressed into me. It was a dull, uncomfortable pinch, and I wrapped my arms around his shoulders to try and ride it out.

There was a sudden, sharp shock of pain and I stifled a grunt. Even then I knew that it shouldn't hurt that much. A few bad memories rushed by, memories where I'd felt that pain before.

"Wait wait wait wait wait-" My eyes snapped open and I pressed a hand to Connor's chest. "The Book thing, I forgot about the Book-"

He stopped all motion immediately and looked up at me, wide-eyed. "D-do you want to switch?"

I hesitated and squeezed my eyes shut. "No-no, just be gentle."

That's never been hard for him in any area of his life, especially not in matters of the flesh.

He stroked me slowly and gave lingering kisses. I managed to open my eyes and look at him every few moments, catching glimpses of loving stares and trembling lips.

"Kevin."

I'd never heard anyone say my name like that. He whimpered it almost directly in my ear as he slowly worked in and out, finally crumbling to the ecstasy he must have been in. It sent shivers down my spine and made my back arch and fuck I wanted to hear it again. I gradually started bobbing along with him and I laced my fingers through his hair. We finally moved just right with each other, and I cried out at the most intense pulse of pleasure I'd ever experienced. Connor, slipping momentarily into Mother McKinley mode, stuttered to a halt and reached up to hold my face.

"Did I hurt you?"

I made a noise of dissent and tightened my hold on his hair. A sharp tug at the base of his skull earned a low, short groan. We both like our hair pulled. I sat myself up to suck at the juncture of his neck, moving up and finding a sweet spot just behind his right ear. He whimpered, bucked his hips and pulled my legs up around him. His thrusts got deeper and more precise. Our moans and cries of each other's names increased in volume to the extent that I was afraid someone outside would hear us.

Heat was building up in my hips and simmering the rest of my body, and I could hear myself begging for anything, something I couldn't name, to relieve the tension. The only sounds I cared about were the ones coming from his throat and our slick skin. Connor touched me just the right way again and I teetered over the edge. I pressed myself up against him and stuttered out some semblance of his name, and he clung to me tightly as his thrusts lost their rhythm and deeper groans ripped from his throat. I laid back feeling sated and blissful.

Connor laid himself gently on top of me while he caught his breath. I stroked his hair and kissed his forehead, trying to wordlessly affirm how incredible and beautiful he is. We spent a minute or two like that before he rolled off to lay facing me, an arm draped over my waist and the other tucked under his head.

"Wow."

I laughed and shifted closer to him. "That was fun."

He blinked. "We just lost our virginities."

Nodding, I tried not to laugh again and played with a lock of his hair. "That we did. To each other, nonetheless."

"It's really something, all things considered," Connor shook his head and smiled. A distant expression came and went across his face. "Should we go back?"

"They won't miss us."

Connor beamed and tossed one of the comforters over us. A chill had started to settle into the ground, and it was nice to have him near me. I circled my arms around him and watched him rest his head against my chest and drift off to sleep. After I had closed my eyes and settled in, it hit me how much I wanted to have this every night for the rest of my life. Not even sex, necessarily. Just his presence. It's the sort of thing I still can't put my finger on.