Kurogane's POV
I heard him being sick this morning. I noticed immediately when his side of the bed turned cool. I turned onto my side to look over to him but there was nothing but an empty space. I lay there for a moment, assuming he'd gone to the bathroom. Then I heard him being sick. I swore under my breath and got out of bed, standing outside the bathroom door. I yearned to run into the bathroom and stroke his hair, to soothe him in any possible way but I couldn't. If he'd wanted me, he'd have called for me. I just leaned against the wall, arms folded, head bowed as I waited for him to finish. It felt like ages until I heard the toilet flush. I didn't move a muscle. It was a few more minutes before the door knob turned and Fai walked out. He jumped when he saw me, a slight blush flooding to his ashen complexion.
"Kuro-creep!" he exclaimed, putting a hand to his chest as he struggled to conceal his now increasing colour in his face. "You scared me to death! What are you doing…?"
"What are you doing being sick?" I demanded softly, taking his face into my hands, pressing my own forehead with his. His skin felt hot and damp. "You have a fever."
His mouth made a small 'o' shape as we stayed in that position. I noticed his eyes drop to the floor. "I'm fine…" he mumbled.
"You're seriously not, mage," I cut him off, staring to lose my patience. I felt the anger rise in steps. It was getting close to being above my head. I wanted to shake him so badly. My hands itched to do so but I felt them soft and caring against his warm skin. "We're staying home today."
"Wh-what???" Fai gasped, his eyes going wider, panic flashing in his cloudy blue eyes. "N-n-no, Kurogane, please. I'm fine honestly! If we stay, Sakura and Syaoran will…"
"Quit worrying about everyone else," I snapped, only to regret it moments later when I saw the expression on his face. I softened my tone. "Listen, you're staying home today. I'll go with the kid if it makes you feel any better. We'll check out the temple and you'll stay here and rest. I'm sure the princess won't mind caring for you. And after I've done half the day with the kid, I'll come straight back and take care of you myself, the way I should be…"
Fai opened his mouth to protest but I didn't allow him too. I collected him in my arms and carried him back over to the bed. I felt him struggle against me, a feeble attempt but if he wasn't careful I'd have dropped him straight on his head. I laid him down on the bed. He sat straight back up. I climbed on top of him, pushing him gently back down onto the bed, resting his head on the pillow.
"Why do you have to be so difficult, wizard?" I muttered, half teasing, before I kissed his lips to silence any protests that had occurred to him. He didn't protest at all as our lips met. It seemed to be the only way to shut him up these days. When we broke apart, he licked his lips, looking up into my eyes.
"Um…" Fai stammered, seeming to struggle for words. "You know…if you keep kissing me like that, you'll catch it too…"
"I really don't care," I replied flatly, kissing him again just to prove it. "I'd rather have what you've got…I'd take it away for you if I could. You know I would…besides, if we're both sick we can spend the whole day in bed together. That I'd much prefer rather than running around some rundown old temple chasing up some old fairytale."
He kissed me again. I turned extremely reluctant to leave him, every time our lips met. I straightened up a little, leaning over a little as he sat up to continue kissing me, his arms stroking my neck as if to encourage me to climb back into bed with him. No matter how much my body encouraged me to do so too, I had to refuse. I kissed him once more, looking him in the eyes.
"You'll be the death of me, Fluorite," I said, exasperated.
Fai smiled warmly up at me, kissing me again. "You still have to get dressed yet," he pointed out quietly.
I pouted. He had a point. It was oh so tempting to allow him to assist me in getting changed. In fact, I'd trade everything in the world just to stop the clock for a good hour or so, so that we could do just that. Just laze around in the bed and cuddle, that's all I wanted really. To intertwine our fingers and hear him call me stupid nicknames. And to feel his skin heat up under my caresses from my hands and lips. I would give everything for that. But sadly, I had to resist that urge.
"I'll get changed in the bathroom," I grumbled, picking up my clothes and storming into the bathroom.
I've never despised undressing myself in all of my life. I growled at my hands. If only they were his…stupid wizard. He'd definitely pay for this later…and he can't complain, since he's nearly drove me to the edge so early in the morning.
Fai's POV
"Take care of yourself, wizard," Kurogane breathed against my lips as we kissed for what seemed to be the 100th last kiss. "If you need me, I'm just down the road…okay? Don't you dare think of getting up either…"
I smiled against his mouth and gave him the 101st goodbye kiss. "Can't you just stay with me?" I asked teasingly, knowing full well the answer. I knew how tempted he was…almost as tempted as I was just to give up the resting idea and go along with him. But in all honesty, I was really tired although I wouldn't tell him that. I would keep telling him I was fine…just to stop him from worrying.
He growled, closing his eyes as he pressed his forehead to mine again, his hand smoothing down my cheek to the side of my neck. "I really want to," he whined deeply and quietly so that Syaoran and Mokona couldn't hear. "But I can't. Now, I really have to go."
I was reluctant to let him go. My hands dropped from his shoulders and onto my lap, feeling suddenly cold and empty. I really missed him and he was standing right next to me. I looked up at him, half smiling as he gazed down at me, seeming to miss me just as much as I was missing him. He narrowed his eyes a little as if to say 'stay here' and then turned his back on me, walking towards a rather pink Syaoran. Kurogane cast me one more hesitant glance before closing the door behind him. The room never seemed emptier; despite the fact Sakura was busying herself in the bathroom, preparing a freezing cold flannel for my fever. It had done nothing but gotten higher after this morning but I blame Kuro-puu for that. I couldn't help but relax into the pillows, feeling my eyelids turn suddenly heavy. Sleep became immediately attractive right now…I really hadn't slept well again. I'd had another nightmare…
"Here you go, Fai-san!" Sakura announced her return cheerfully as she carried the bowl towards the nightstand, nearly spilling half of it on the floor as she put it (or rather dropped) it down. She smiled wanly at me and began to squeeze the flannel in the water, wringing it of excess water.
I watched her for a moment, realising the awkward silence cut between us. "Thank you…for staying with me, Sakura-chan," I said warmly, forcing a smile as best as I could, struggling because I was really, really tired.
She looked at me, turning a little pink as she waved her hand at me. "It's no problem at all, Fai-san," she assured me. "I just hope you feel better soon." She gently pressed the icy flannel onto my forehead and took a seat next to my bed. "How's your arm been anyway?"
I subconsciously touched my right arm. "I hardly notice it anymore," I answered truthfully. "I can't lift anything heavy with it at the moment though…but that's expected."
"That's good news," Sakura enthused, giving me one of her glowing genuine smiles. "You had us all very worried! Especially Kurogane-san."
I flushed and felt a pang of yearning, missing him more than ever. Before I could reply though my stomach had decided to shift again, feeling a falling sensation in my gut. My hand flew to my mouth. My knees started shaking and I felt myself heave as my stomach lurched.
"Fai-san?" Sakura sounded perplexed and nervous as she slowly stood up, feeling her hand rest on my shoulder. "Fai-san, what's the matter?"
"Bathroom…" was all I managed before I'd pulled back the covers and had raced into the bathroom. I collapsed onto my knees before emptying my already empty stomach. I put my hand over my mouth, trying to control the heaving of my shoulders, that bitter taste claiming my mouth. Great…I was throwing up stomach acid. Kurogane was not going to be happy about this. My vision turned a little fuzzy as I shakily rose to my feet, breathing in deeply through my mouth to refresh my dry mouth that was suffering under the taste of my stomach acid.
"Fai-san…" Sakura's muffled voice reached my ears from the opposite side of the door. "Are you okay? Do you need me to get Kurogane-san?"
"No…" I exclaimed, pressing my back against the door before sliding down till I was sitting, my head in my hands. "Please…" I added in barely a whisper. "I'm okay…I just need to relax…"
"Fai-san…" I heard her sigh deeply.
What was going on with me? I hardly ever got sick…ever. Kurogane was already so worried…he was ready to drop all searches for Sakura's feather to stay by my side to care for me…he'd showed such blatant affection to me in front of the kids…he'd have never have done that before. If anything, I was afraid at first that he was ashamed…ashamed that we were officially lovers. Was Kurogane ashamed? Ashamed that he'd slept with another man? I touched my sore, tender stomach, hoping to relax it by stroking it, imagining it was Kuro-puu who was stroking me. I sometimes imagined what would've happened…if I was a woman. Would he be less ashamed? Would he kiss me in public? Would he grunt and pull away whenever I wrapped my arms around his neck in public? Would he still act as if we were still only friends in front of the kids? Maybe he wouldn't…maybe he would…I wouldn't know since I wasn't even sure if Kurogane had ever been in a relationship before…I wonder what his first kiss was like…with a girl…is that what he missed? Did he miss seeing a girl? Would he rather see me as a woman rather than a man? A man he was once so keen to defeat in battle…a man whom he called a coward on a regular basis…a man…just…a man…
* * * *
Kurogane's POV
(Sorry for changes in POV again)
Nothing…absolutely nothing…by midday, I was pining for Fai so badly I just wound up saying that I wanted to go back home. I didn't bother to disguise the fact that it was because I was painfully worried about my new lover. Syaoran didn't seem at all surprised, although he also didn't bother concealing his disappointment. He sighed, looking down at Mokona, who'd said that he kept feeling the energy but wasn't sure where it was coming from. The weather wasn't as hot as it was yesterday…in fact; dark rain clouds were zoning in and were starting to curtain the ground in a gray misty gloom. We were nearly back to the hotel when it started to pour down.
I literally sprinted up the stairs, leaving Syaoran and the fuzzball struggling to keep up behind me. Why was I so nervous? My hands were clammy…my clothes were plastered against my skin as well as my hair, raindrops dripping from the tips of my hair, falling with a light thud onto the carpet. I opened the door, half expecting to see Fai curled up in bed, his face still red. Instead, I saw Sakura and she was looking troubled. She was standing by the bathroom door, her brow creased a little. When she heard the door open, she looked up to meet my gaze. A small blush came to her face, obviously not expecting us back so soon.
"Oh…uh…Kuro…gane-san…" she stammered, her words seeming to fail her as her eyes darted from the bathroom door to me and then back again. "Y-you're back early…"
"Where's the wizard?" I interrupted, the panic rising up in me more than ever before. He wasn't in the room; a quick scan of the room told me so. The only other room was the bathroom, so he must be there unless he'd run out into the city in the pouring rain…I suddenly prayed he was in the bathroom. I nearly felt my foot take a step back, ready to bolt out of the room to search for him in the rain.
"He's in the bathroom…" Sakura mumbled, flinching a little from the unintended harshness in my voice. "He hasn't…come…out…"
I walked straight forward, repressing a sigh of relief that he hadn't gone looking for us in the rain. I leaned my ear against the door, hearing his laboured breathing on the opposite side. I knocked softly, as tenderly as I could so he wouldn't assume I was angry…I was truly concerned and I didn't want to hide it this time. I was worried, worried like I was on the day when Ashura had hurt him...worried like when he'd told me he'd been raped…worried like when he'd asked me to make love with him for the first time…
"Hey, Fai," I called; trying to soften up my tone to reflect the anxiety I was feeling inside. "It's me…its Kurogane. Let me in please…I'm really worrying about you out here…" I hesitated. "Sweetheart…"
I felt the atmosphere tense a little, as Sakura, Syaoran and even Mokona (king of eavesdropping) all felt like they were intruding on a private moment, a moment only Fai and I were supposed to share. I hardly noticed. I was listening for Fai's movement. I heard a chink that sounded like he'd pulled himself up by the sink. I heard the bolt slide and I slowly turned the door knob to open it wide. Fai was standing there, looking even chalkier than usual. His hand was clutching his stomach. Tears were brimming in his eyes…ready to cascade down his pallid cheeks at any moment.
"It…it hurts…" he whimpered. I noticed every single thing then. I became very alert to every minute movement. I noticed his knees were buckling; his arm was shaking as he struggled to support his own weight, his chin trembling with suppressed sobs, little beads of sweat glistening on his forehead, trickling down his face. I stepped forward. I felt the colour drain from my face rapidly.
"Where, Fai?" I asked him tenderly, although I had a pretty good guess as to where.
His fingers clenched into his shirt to where his stomach was. I stepped forward and picked him up. He was lighter than usual. I turned round and carried him back into the room, feeling all eyes on us as I lay Fai down on the bed. I looked him in the eyes.
"Tell me where about in your stomach it hurts," I murmured. When he nodded, I touched his side.
I received no reaction until I moved round closer to the centre of his stomach. He immediately spluttered and tensed up, squeezing his eyes shut. I didn't need him to tell me. I removed my hand instantly and placed it, instead, lovingly on his boiling forehead. I turned my head to look at Syaoran.
"Call a doctor," I said flatly, leaving no room for argument. Even if I had left room for argument, no one would have argued. Syaoran nodded and handed a very shaken up Mokona into Sakura's arms before running out of the room back down the stairs.
I turned back to look at my lover. I pressed my lips to his moist forehead and claimed his hand as my own, locking our fingers together. His fingers gently pressed against my hand, causing me to look at him.
"Fai…rest…" I began only for him to cut me off.
"Do you hate me…?" Fai breathed his voice raspy and meek.
I didn't answer him. I stared at him…completely shocked…my heart stinging, my eyes filling with moisture that I grudgingly knew were tears. My heart skipped a few beats, before sounding loudly once more in my head, the beats like bangs, like every time I replayed his question in my head, my body was being pelted with bullets…
To be continued…
I hope you enjoyed that chapter! More Fai angst. I feel really bad for putting my wonderful Fai through all of this but it is all explained next chapter. The next chapter will be uploaded tomorrow hopefully since I have the day off to delve back into my Tsubasa Chronicle DVD's and get into the writing mood. A song that really helped me write this chapter was "Save You" by Simple Plan, basically because the raw desperation of the song helped me match to Kurogane's similar ache, that he really just loves Fai and wishes to help him.
What will happen now to Fai? What will the doctor determine his sickness as? Will Mokona ever find out where the energy is coming from? What is Kurogane's answer? Find out in Chapter Three - 明快さ… (Meaning clarity).
Ps. Sorry for any spelling mistakes and please review.