A/N: Deidara is so amazing. His hair is so amazing too (before I cut it up with this story), I reckon Orochimaru and Neji have really amazing hair too. They should go for some shampoo commercial competition or something. Of course, Deidara will win hands down. (fan girl attack) Okaythankyoubye.
To put things frankly, Deidara did not want to bump into Naruto. Furthermore, he'd appear to be an extremely suspicious character and he'd have to avert fighting Naruto. At least if he was caught. Fighting would take too much time. Naruto continued to stare blankly at Deidara. Does he recognize me? The feeling was frightening. It felt like ramen crawling back up. Deidara felt for his pouch. Not much explosive clay left, hm. He reached for some when Naruto suddenly opened his mouth.
"Hey! Nice Henge no Jutsu!" Naruto shouted at the top of his lungs. Deidara gave him a nervous smile. Great, he doesn't know, hm. I should get out of here while I can. Deidara withdrew his hand from the clay pouch and began heading for the door. Naruto followed closely behind.
"Who are you actually? Are you Kakashi sensei? I wonder who can actually look so much like me!" squealed Naruto. Deidara felt his heart pound faster. What should I say, hm? Can't say anybody that would draw too much attention. Gaara? No, can't say Gaara. Hm. Deidara walked out of the shop and took three steps before saying, "Hyuuga Neji."
"Neji? Neji?" Naruto asked twice before he began laughing, "I'd never guess you would do something like this, dattebayo!" Deidara began making a run for it. Shit! Shit! He turned to look behind him. Naruto had already used his shadow clone jutsu. Ten…fifteen…Deidara counted in his head. Naruto chased after him laughing and shouting, "You're not Neji! You're fuzzy brows!"
Deidara ran towards the forest. He shoved a hand into his pouch, grabbing enough to make a bird of some sort. There wasn't enough time for details. He needed to get out of there quick! Villagers came out of their homes smiling and watching the commotion. Why did I have to say Neji? Hell, even saying Sakura was better. There was a scream then. It was clearly the scream of a girl. Then, rumbles came tearing the ground apart from underneath him. Deidara jumped.
He was lucky to have jumped fast enough or he would be in shatters too. His feet came in contact with a branch and he continued his escape.
"That's not Neji or Lee! That's AKATSUKI!" hollered a young lady with short pink hair, holding an extremely familiar pouch. She got my pouch? When did I drop it? Deidara felt for his pouch but true enough, it was gone. She caught up with Naruto whose expression became shocked. The two continued to chase after Deidara as more villagers began piling behind him. Too late. I'll have to show them the value of my art! He checked the right mouth. Nearly done, hm. His feet tapped lightly branch to branch, tree from tree until he felt clay spit out of his right mouth. He quickly molded it into a bird within five seconds and tossed it into the air.
"Hm!" Deidara grunted as he enlarged the clay mold. A large bird caught his weight and flew him away. He turned back. There were easily two teams catching up on him. Three of them wore flak jackets. What do I do now? I haven't got enough to fight! Deidara reminded himself as he felt his pouch for more clay. Suddenly he heard a wild cry and a large weight fell onto his bird.
A massive lollipop in a cloak glanced at him.
"Tobi? What are you doing here, hm?" Deidara asked while dodging ranged attacks. Tobi looked at him before jumping about and squealing, "Tobi is a good boy! Kakuzu said Tobi will find partner here!" You know what? Perfect. Just perfect. I'm out of clay. I'm under heavy fire. I have no idea how to get rid of them and, oh, the most annoying person falls upon my shoulders.
"Tobi, we gotta get out of here, hm. I'm out of clay," admitted Deidara ashamed to be unable to outshine his partner. To him, any idea from Tobi would be better than nothing. Tobi turned around to take a look at his opponents. He jumped and screamed, "TOBI IS GUNNA DIE! TOBI IS GUNNA DIE!" Deidara hushed him, "Tobi, shut up!" The two flew as Tobi flung his arms about aimlessly.
Although they spent the next few minutes dodging explosives and darts, it soon became clear to the villagers of Konoha that they will not be able to catch up. Tsunade could send all the shinobi she likes but Deidara and Tobi would be safe. For now.
The flight back was silent. At least until Deidara heard muffled chuckles. He ignored Tobi but the chuckles got louder and louder until they were roars of magnificent laughter.
"WHAT?" Deidara shouted, muting out all of Tobi's laughter. Tobi could not control himself after Deidara's outburst. He began rolling about bashing his fists on the clay bird with great laughter. He pointed at Deidara, withdrew his arm, and started laughing again.
"Your hair!" Tobi finally said, "Sempai looks so stupid!" Tobi continued laughing off into hysteria. I look stupid? I look stupid? Says the man with a lollipop face! If only I had some clay, I'll teach him an explosive lesson. The laughter was quickly shortened after the pair heard leaves rustling. Both granted attention to the direction of which the crackling was. Team 7 and Team Gai were jumping rapidly, gaining up on them. Now what?
Deidara looked frantically around him. He reached for his kunai. He had no idea what to do with his kunai. Throwing it would be stupid since there were so many of them. Jumping off his bird and fighting them would also be stupid. He turned to Tobi who was fiddling with a small purse. Deidara soon identified this as one of his pouches.
"YOU HAD THIS THE WHOLE TIME AND YOU NEVER TOLD ME?" Deidara yelled even though he felt relieved. They now had hope. Deidara could never depend on Tobi, and now with some clay he grew confident. Tobi watched as Deidara took the pouch and yanked a chunk of clay out. He protested, "Tobi thinks Sempai's pouch doesn't have enough clay!" Deidara laughed sarcastically, "This is why people respect my art, Tobi. Watch and learn."
Deidara shoved clay into each mouth as they engulfed the substance. His opponents were close enough to attack the flying bird now. That would bring great disaster. He enlarged two birds from his hands and summoned an explosive.
"Katsu!" he shouted as a big puff of smoke swallowed the enemies and caused the ground to rattle. Deidara folded his arms with a smirk. Tobi watched unsure and said, "Oh, Sempai. I don't think they're dead yet." As foretold, the enemies had largely averted the explosions. Tobi laughed again, "I told you so!"
"Whose side are you on?" Deidara scolded and threw more clay explosions at the lot. They flew further from them as the smoke cleared. Tobi had been right; there wasn't much clay in the extra pouch either. He only had enough to hopefully distract the Jinchuuriki and his friends for a bit. The smoke cleared, and there stood only two tall figures. Deidara searched for the others. Dead already? Impossible!
"Hidan chan!" Tobi exclaimed as he hopped off the bird and landed next to one of the figures. Hidan twisted an arm around Tobi, "How many fucking times must I tell you to stop calling me that?" Kakuzu stood beside Hidan. Deidara was surprised.
"We thought we would find you here. Took Tobi too long to get you back. What's our situation here?" Kakuzu asked as he eyed the teams who stood perched upon trees. Deidara saw that they were unharmed. This is going to be a long battle.