Well, welcome back ladies and gentlemen! To yet another episodic chapter in the not-so-epic saga of Enter Apocalypse.
Firstly, I would like to thank the people who read this far, and also, the reviewers. I would definitely not be typing this if it weren't for the thanks and support provided by you guys. Thanks.
Sincerest apologies for the slow update, but as many people may know, choosing subjects feels like cutting off limbs.
PS: special thanks to NinjaOfDeath, who didn't review, but to me, an alert is pretty much equal. To be honest, I didn't really expect one so early. Sweet.
Now, for review replies:
Vesparatiar: Thanks for the review, and yeah. Random, but I just get the feeling of serious restriction whenever I try to think of something in the Bathysphere sequence. Once I get down to the entrance hall, expect it to level out (a little:). I have a good feeling about what a lot of people will think about MY Sander Cohen…
Ace Clark: The voices in my head have much better writing ideas so I use them instead. Now, Bioshock is a deathly serious game. In other wards, it leaves itself so open to parodies. But yeah. I agree, Bioshock is better than an armful of ADAM any day XD Yes, I Know I said ONE review, but I was Working on the story last night and I got Pwned by writer's block. Sux Eggs.
Enter Apocalypse
Last time, on Enter Apocalypse:
"QUICK! TAKE HIM DOWN!" Kusanagi screamed, firing shots from her assault rifle wildly off camera.
"I can't there's just too many terrorists!" The chief roared back, emptying clip after clip from his Needler, violet crystalline shards searing and cleaving flesh with burning plasma as counter-terrorists fell by his side.
"DON'T WORRY MAJOR! I HAVE YOUR BACK! A Tachikoma bleeped merrily, gunning wildly with its dual rotary cannons as it leapt into the fray.
"NOOOOO! THE WAFFLES!" A strange paint covered cross dresser roared, his fake potato mambo's jiggling as he hoisted some freeze-dried waffles into the air… with a bullet hole in it.
Instantly, the battle halted in honour of the fallen waffles.
"This is a dark day for the land of Middle Earth…" The Major solemnly spoke, bowing her head in reverence as the packet of waffles fell to the ground, spilling over the cold concrete as the-
"WAIT ONE SECOND! HOW THE HELL DID WE GET HERE, AND HOW DID THE SCREEN DIVIDE UP 24-STYLE?" Jack roared, showing blatant disregard for rule 278b-paragraph 26 subsection A: The Author withholds all rights to lose his sanity and go completely apeshit, causing the Artificial world he creates to collapse in on itself by ripping off storyline ideas from popular TV shows.
Neo TeleOneificates into existence, holding yet another Plot Device.
Jack, having spotted this, had just enough time to say this before getting Plot Holed into the correct time zone and period of the Fic:
"Bugger Me Marmalade…"
"Fricking Holy Light, I was busy ganking those n00bs on my Night Elf Rogue, the most frequently spelt wrong class of all and BANG! Now I'm stuck in a different game, in a different body, with no BLOODY SHADOWMELD!" The Warcraft Splicer angrily garbled across his headset, which wasn't actually connected, even the jack was missing.
"Should we kill him?" Gordon inquired.
"Yeah, probably before he tries to scam our epic- WAIT JUST ONE SPAWNCAMPING SECOND!!! GorDiN dnt Tlk! 0Mg!" Jack shouted.
"…Umm…no?" Gordon stumbled out, mentally slapping himself.
"Hahahaha! I'm the only one to know what you sound like! KICKASS!"
"Well, there was one time when me and Alyx were having some hot-" Gordon was cut short as a keyboard came crashing through the side of the Bathysphere, almost shattering a rib as it winded Jack.
"NEED…GOOLLLLLLLLDDDDD…" the Randomer hissed angrily, throwing a handful of windows keys from a bag at his waist at our heroes.
"WATCH YOURSELF! IF THEY HIT YOU, YOU'LL GET TROWN OUT ONTO THE DESKTOP AND WHILST YOU'RE WAITING FOR THE GAME TO MINIMIZE AND MAXIMISE, YOU'LL GET RAPED BY N00BS!" Jack shouted to his ally.
"BURNING LAG OF DIAL-UP!" Gordon screamed, as fiery bolts of tangled up Ethernet cables flew from his outstretched hands.
"NOOOO! FUCKING LAGGGGG!" The Warcraft Splicer swore, enraged as he jittered about worse than a 3 year old on Pro Plus: Now with extra Caffeine!
Jack leisurely strode over to the Splicer, who was hanging in the air due to the sheer force of the Dial-Up-Lag.
"This is revenge. FOR THE GODDAMN WAFFLES!!!" He drew a sword rivalling Samehaedra's size from his ass pocket and drove it into the Splicer's chest.
He withdrew the massive blade from the Splicer's chest with a meaty grate as he felt the experience points pour from the wound over his arm.
The corpse hung in the air, still suspended by lag as the pair walked past the bleeding corpse over to an elevator leading upstairs.
They entered the lift and pinged the button, and as they did so, some cute little plinking tunes played through the claustrophobic little space as elevator music played across the speakers system.
"well Gordon, which way do we go?" Jack questioned as the exited the lift.
"Up." Gordon replied simply.
"The fuck? No, seriously, which way." Jack answered impatiently.
"UP!!!" Gordon roared, before grasping hold of Jack's legs and flinging him at the roof, propelling him with enough force to rival that of Chuck Norris's polite cough.
"What the hell… my freaking head…" Jack groaned painfully, clutching his freshly concussioned head.
The sounds of laughter, happiness and merriment caused Jack to raise his head, and have his eyes visibly shrink in terror at what he saw.
"What the fuck have I indirectly gotten myself into this time…" Jack uttered, staring at the tiny orange little creatures with green hair.
Singing
Oompah Loompa Dippity Doo
We Have Information To Give To You,
Oompah Loompa Didilly Dee
We Are Going To Stick Our Wangs Right In Ye,
Guess What Happens When You Fuck With Orange Midgets?
They Start To Rape You Whilst Your Wife Looks On And Fidgets.
Why Did You Have To Screw With…US!
Now We Are Going To Remove Your…NUTS!
Oompah Loompa Bloopity Bear
Never Mess With The Guys With Green Hairs
Oompah Loompa Dippity Dare
They'll Push Your Mother Down The Freaking Stairs
Oompah Loompa Dongly Dee
Don't Annoy These People If Want To Be Free
Oompah Loompa Riddly Ree
'Cause No One Will Ever Find Your Body In The Chocolate Factory!