'I don't care if it rains, I don't care if it's clear
I don't mind staying in, there's another ghost here
She sits down in your chair, and she shines with your light
And she lays down her head on your pillow at night…'
Two weeks after Carol's death and Daryl had almost reverted back to the man he was back at the quarry near Atlanta. He barely spoke unless it was to state what meat he'd brought back from his hunts; he simply didn't care anymore. He barely ate unless reminded to, and the pounds dropped off his already sparse frame; leaving his face gaunt and eyes shadowed. He hated when people started talking about Carol; conversations changed quickly whenever he entered the communal area and he soon started spending more and more time in what he know referred to as 'their' cell. He and Rick had almost come to blows a few days after Daryl emerged into the group once more; when Rick casually suggested that a few of the Woodbury women had shown an interest into moving into the empty cell. Daryl had nearly knocked the metal table over (surprisingly as it was screwed into the floor) as he got right up into Rick's face.
"No one's moving into Carol's cell, no one."
"Daryl, we could really use the space. Now that Hershel is moving people out of isolation…" Rick started, but was stared down again by an angry pair of blue eyes.
"She ain't been dead hardly a week, hell yer ain't even had the guts ter bring her body back fer a proper burial and already yer talkin' about her as if she weren't even that important!" Daryl slammed his fist down onto the table, and then bowed his head, all of the fight leaving his body. "She was important ta me, Rick. I ain't lettin' no one move into that cell. Besides, I already shifted my stuff in there." That quiet statement had everyone looking over in surprise, Daryl had made a big deal about staking out the perch as his private domain the very first day that they arrived and how he was never going to be caged in – and yet here the hunter was, packed up and moved in; lock, stock and barrel. Since then he and Rick had hardly spoken, Daryl because he had nothing to say and Rick because he had too much to say and too much to lose.
Another morning came and when Daryl pushed away his almost untouched bowl of oatmeal and rose from the table, Beth looked up and protested.
"I didn't burn it this time, Daryl! I even added a little honey to sweeten it up."
"Thanks, but I jest ain't all that hungry. Goin' up to my cell and whittle a few more bolts." Daryl attempted a small smile to try and appease Beth's hurt feelings but just couldn't manage it. Every time he tried to eat it sat in a hard lump in the pit of his stomach; until he had to bring it all back up, making him feel even worse in the long run.
"Mind some company?" Michonne rose from the table and followed after Daryl, not even waiting for his response. As they entered the cell and Daryl sat down on the floor, Michonne echoed his position. The last time someone had followed Daryl into the cell and went to sit on the lower bunk, Daryl had nearly lost it completely and it had taken a threat from Hershel to sedate him to calm him down.
"I can sometimes see her sittin' in that chair, head bent over some mendin' or fixin' somethin' for someone…" Daryl muttered as he drew his whittling knife over a thin piece of wood, earmarked for a new bolt.
"I think I can see her sometimes in the kitchen, I turn around to say something and it's only then I realise that she's not there, or at the gate; waiting to open it for you," Michonne quietly stated, it was the first time that Daryl had willingly opened up to talk about Carol and she wanted to keep it mellow for now; before she brought up what she had suspected for a while.
"I miss her, 'Chonne." Daryl whispered quietly, so quietly that she almost missed it. "I can still smell her and it's almost as she is standing right next to me….she smiles at me in that funny way, hell I even miss the way she hogged all of the blankets."
"How long?" Michonne didn't really need to know, it was really just a way to keep him talking; it wasn't good for him to have it all festering inside.
"Seems like forever…but about a year, I guess. Got real close when I was lookin' fer Sophia, and things grew from there."
"Anyone else knew?" Michonne doubted that the two of them would have gone public, the shocked faces around the table when Daryl had announced that Carol had been important to him had been enough for her to realise that, she just wondered whether Rick had known that before he'd done what he'd done.
"Nah…neither one of us was into that in yer face stuff that Glenn and Maggie seemed ter like so much. Wish we had been now though…would have liked fer everyone to have known just how much I…" Daryl's voice cracked and he pressed so hard with his knife that his slender bolt cracked in two under the pressure.