No escape

Summary: Gwen cannot escape being just a servant.

I'm not proud of this shot. Through I like Gwen, Angel's made her a wonderful person in the show, I just couldn't write how she feels and not sound a little as if she only wants to be loved, nothing else. Some of my writing - to me - seems as though I'm agaisnt her and I love Arwen. It was hard to write this as I only thought Gwen would hate being a servant because of Arthur, a simple reason - not a page long! Anyway enjoy!

Servant.
That was Gwen's title, job and place in society. She was a maidservant, once to the king's ward, now to visitors, the kitchen and sometimes, when Merlin was busy, Arthur. Through the people never really addressed her as servant, it still popped up into conversations and she knew that was what she was.

Gwen didn't ask to be anything more. She didn't want to be surrounded by riches and dresses and all the things her former mistress had owned. She didn't care about being able to afford luxuries, like a bigger house, more food and money to buy whatever she wanted. Gwen was quite happy with the simple life, she didn't ask for more. Until she met Merlin.

Merlin was unique, someone who despite his bloodline, seemed noble than even a prince. He made Gwen wonder if she really should be so committed to the King after what he did to her. She learned that sometimes it was good to speak up – through she did back down as soon as she did so. Through she still couldn't care less about finery, Gwen felt no longer the simple serving maid. All her life, she was loyal to those above her, the king especially. Now she knew that through he was king, he was still a cold arrogant fool and, even if she could put herself in his shoes and understand that he was doing cruel things for what he thought was the best, she no longer served for the king, in the manner of speaking. Her loyalty moved to Arthur, who she could clearly see, would be a wonderful king.

Arthur. That was why she hated being a servant. Why she now loathed the curtseying and carrying food for those higher than her. Gwen loved Arthur. But she was too low in the status, as low as dirt, to be his. It made her heart break, sometimes looking in the mirror after she had pushed Arthur away and wishing that if she could not have him, her life would be over. She had even thought when she was staring face to face with a furious dragon that she should die. It was only a flying thought, and the fact that Arthur came to her rescue made her forget. But she still thought it.

Which was why when she was held captive in Morgana's place and saw Lancelot, she opened a little of her heart to the want-to-be-knight. She had cared for him deeply when he was in Camelot last; a dear friend but she hadn't expected how she would feel upon seeing him again. Lancelot came flooding into the door of her heart, making her feel warm and wanted, making her feel that she could never lose him over status. He was also a commoner. You may think now, that she was just using Lancelot, and even she at first thought so but the way Lancelot treated her, really did open her heart. Gwen meant it when she kissed back as his lips swept hers. She loved him. But she loved Arthur too.

That confused her, when she still felt the same with Arthur as she did before she was kidnapped, but loved Lancelot at the same time. How could she love two men? The thoughts of choosing between them overwhelmed her and increased her thoughts of no longer being in this world. Lancelot left, making it easier to choose Arthur, but she still grieved the lost of him. It felt to her, that he didn't care and that was what she wanted. Arthur cared too but they could never be together.

"One day you will," She remembered her saying to Arthur when he told her he'd never loved another, "One day you'll find your real princess. One day you'll be king of Camelot. And I cannot be your queen."

No. No matter how she longed to be by his side, despite her feelings for Lancelot, she could not be with Arthur. Gwen was a servant, and always would be. There is no escape.

See? Not proud. Meh, hopefully next chappie will be better - coming in a few mintues (or if already there, on next page)

Next chapter: Evil.

No prizes who's the star in that chappie. And no cookies either. Unless you review...press the blue button! ...I prefer the old green one. The green one look pretty and I could hypnotize people to review which it. The speech bubble ruins it!