A/N: I have no idea if Las Vegas allows gay weddings. Why spoil the fun with facts?
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Werepire Les-YAY!
by Shadow Crystal Mage
Disclaimer: Princess Resurrection, other anime and manga, not mine. Please don't sue me.
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The date seemed to pass in a blur. Riza found herself ordering sake, hoping the alcohol would make the time go faster, then ordering more when Reiri began stealing from her bottle. Regardless, the vampire kept up a steady stream of flirtations, just audible enough innuendoes and other deliberate pieces of fan service for those watching– which, at last count, had included Hiro, Sherwood, Sherwood's people, Zeppeli , Reiri's 'herd', some random loli-goth enthusiasts who'd caught sight of Riza's dress, and a few of the more stalker-ish stalkers– to convince them of the authenticity of the scene.
The plan had been for Riza to make an inappropriate pass at Reiri– a point she'd argued over their entire planning session, since Reiri was the one who was going to be acting completely shamelessly– at which point the vampire would slap her, and they'd have this big break up. Unfortunately, they both forgot to account for the introduction of alcohol in this plan.
When they woke up the next morning, they were both butt naked, cuddled together on a heart-shaped bed, hand-cuffed together by an ankle, and for some reason their mouths both tasted of lime beans.
Their eyes met, gazes locked as they both internally took stock of these facts. Both became conscious of the fact that their noses were touching, and Reiri realized she was sucking on Riza's lower lip. Riza realized one of her hands was squeezing something squishy at chest level, and it didn't belong to her.
The two of them jerked back, a move that was complicated by the fact their legs had been entwined, and they both fell partly off the bed, their legs arcing over the mattress connected by the handcuffs.
"The HELL?!?!?!?!?!" Riza spat out, looking wildly around. The dress she'd been wearing the night (?) before had been thrown carelessly on the floor, a pair of interesting tears at breast-level. One of the gloves she'd been wearing was tied around her head, pushed up as if it had been used as a blindfold.
Reiri meanwhile, was similarly taking stock, and her eyes focused on the view afforded out the window. There was a stylized city skyline across the street, combining aspects of New York, Sydney, Los Angeles and others. "Are we in Las Vegas?" she said, confused.
At these words, Riza growled, slapping a hand on her forehead and dragging it down in frustration, then howling as something on her hand caught at her face. She glared at the offending object.
It was a ring.
At the other side of the bed, Reiri was staring at a similar object.
Out on the street, several floors below, people looked up as a pair of feminine screams echoed through the skies.
There was a beat.
"Why," Reiri said, "Is my ass full of rug burns?"
Riza screamed again.
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After screaming for the good part of an hour, Reiri had the presence of mind to call the front desk and ask if they needed to check out yet.
After finding out they still had another day, Riza went back to screaming. Reiri checked if the buffet was still open. She eventually found most of her clothes, as well as the cuff keys, though she was slightly distressed to find her favorite pair of black lace panties had apparently been dipped in lima bean soup. And shredded. With teeth. She threw them as far away as she could.
Riza, after finally calming down, stared at the torn dress, with their interestingly-placed tears. "Hime is going to kill me," she said.
"You'll probably thank her for it," Reiri said, opening the closet. "Maybe there's something in the…" A pause.
"What?"
Wordless, Reiri drew out a short, tight black shirt and a pair of green cargo pants. A note was tacked on.
You will pay for this. The handwriting was quite distinctive.
"Do you think they have any silver around here?" Riza said.
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Hime was waiting for them when they came down to eat. So was everyone else.
"Sherwood says you don't have to pay her back for using her credit card," Hime said as she sipped her tea. "Apparently, she's filing it under research expenses. By the way, could I please have the handcuff keys?"
She raised her other hand, where Hiro had been chained.
"Here's your marriage license, by the way," he said, handing them a folded piece of paper.
Face dead, Riza took the sheet and methodically tore it apart.
"Ah, a secret marriage. Understood."
As wordlessly, Reiri reached over and twisted Hiro's head around completely.
Hime rubbed her wrist as she uncuffed herself, frowning down at Hiro. "Please don't do that to my husband again."
"You too?" Riza said, quite unenthusiastic.
Hime raised a bouquet. "You were quite insistent when I caught it."
Riza collapsed on a chair, head thumping on the table, arms coming up to cover her head as if she was assuming the crash position. "We're screwed."
"No, that was just you two," Hime said. "He fainted."
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Meanwhile, in another hotel, Sherwood and Sawawa stared at each other.
"So…" Sawawa said. "We're married."
Sherwood glowered slightly, then sighed, shrugging. "Meh, it's worth it. Pull up the blanket, will you?"
"Yes, it is freezing, isn't it…"
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"Fuga?" Flandre said, looking up at Ryu-Ryu.
"Hrg?" the panda said, looking at the undressed gynoid on the bed next to him.
"Fuga," Francesca said at Ryu-Ryu's other side.
The three looked at each other, shrugged, and the two maids went looking for their clothes.
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- To be continued...
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A/N: When lacking plot, CRACK!
Please review, C&C welcome.
Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.