No, luckily, that was not my end. That's not how this story ends. It sure hurts being knocked unconscious twice in a row! Gosh, those brutes have no manners... Anyhow! What woke me up was a chilling cold feeling.
"Ugh... Where... Where am I...?" I ask.
I look around and find myself in a cage of some sort. Iron bars are on one side and a cold cement floor is under me. As I am looking around, I realize something... I'm not a wolf anymore. How in the world could such a thing happen? I have no idea! Another problem, I'm wearing a pink tutu again for some reason.
"AHHHHHHHHH!" I scream.
I try to get up and run, but my ankle is shackled to the ground and I cannot get very far.
"SOMEBODY HELP! HELP ME!" I wail.
Who am I kidding? It's pointless, nobody will hear me. Nobody will ever come rescue me... I'm going to be trapped forever! In a pink tutu!
I get all my screaming out of the way and just sit there awkwardly, feeling naked. You know it's bad when an animal feels naked! That's below the lowest thing ever! Well, as much as I thought I would be trapped forever, hope approaches my cage in the form of a small black and white wolf with one red eye, a strange mask, and a bundle of fiery red hair.
"Okay, this is not what I was expecting to find..." the wolf says, "Perhaps I should just go..."
"Wait! Help me! Please don't leave me in here!" I cry out.
"I came looking for a blue eyed wolf, not a blue eyed Hylian!" the wolf argues, looking disgusted.
"Well, I am a blue eyed wolf. I just happen to be trapped in a human body," I argue back. It is true, my eyes are a brilliant sapphire blue.
"You have no proof of such a claim. How do I know you aren't lying?!" the wolf argues.
"Please... If you are capable of rescuing me, please do so. Even if I don't appear to be who you are searching for for whatever reason, I need your help and I'm desperate!" I wail.
"Oh, okay... I'll let you out... Under one condition!" the wolf says.
"Yes! I agree to it! Whatever it is!" I say, eagerly.
"Thanks! By the way, the condition is that you have to do everything I say no matter what," the wolf says.
"Aw, man! You got me there... But I am desperate, so still, yes," I say.
"Not that you could have gone back on your promise..." the wolf says, giggling.
She casually strolls into the next cage and yanks a cord using her hair which turned into a hand for long enough to be used as such. My cage door pops open.
"Oh! How did you know that would work and why would they build it like that?!" I ask.
"Meh, you Hylians are dumb sometimes," the wolf says, rolling her eyes.
"Uh... My cage is open, but I still cannot leave! They shackled me to the floor!" I say.
"Oh, right. Look what I can do that you can't!" the wolf says.
She lifts a paw and a bolt of energy shoots out and hits my shackle, melting the chain enough for me to break free.
"Thank you so much!" I say.
"Now remember, you have to do everything I say!" the wolf says.
"Okay! Random wolf I do not know the name of! Where are we anyways?" I ask.
"Follow me. All your questions will be answered!" the wolf says, beckoning me on with her hair hand.
I follow, the tiny bit of shackle left on my foot clinks with every step.
Now, I kind of expected to pass from the dungeon to the outside world right away. That's not the case, however. I follow the strange wolf and she leads me right through a river of sewage. Also, she's making me carry her on my shoulders! How lazy!
"Oh, there should be a switch around here somewhere to lift the sewer gate..." the wolf says with an exaggerated yawn.
"Uh... Where? And what gate?" I ask.
"Oh, you'll see... You'll see..." the wolf says.
I keep moving forwards until I reach the gate she mentioned.
"Oh! You mean this? Is the way out beyond this gate?" I ask.
"Yes, go find the switch, dummy," the wolf says.
Ouch! That wasn't nice! I'm starting to wonder if maybe I would have been better off stuck in the cage...
I didn't see a switch back the way I came from. If I had seen it, I probably would have yanked on it just for fun. The only other place to check is around the corner.
"Here's a hint... It's on the ceiling," the wolf whispers.
I look up and see nothing.
"There's nothing there!" I whine.
"No! Not directly above us! Keep looking!" the wolf snaps.
"Hey, hey... No need to be so harsh..." I say.
She keeps arguing with me until I turn the corner and find the switch. She pulls it for me because I'm not quite tall enough even in my new Hylian form. When she does, I hear the gate rattle and raise, causing more sewer water to come rushing in.
"Ew! How is this going to help?!" I ask.
"Well, you can pass through now. That's a plus... Do you want out of here or what?! Get moving!" the wolf snaps.
I sigh and slosh through the now deeper sewage.
"Watch your step!" the wolf alerts.
"Huh?!" I ask.
I step right onto a patch of spikes and jump back in pain. I land with a splash in the water, soaking the wolf that is on my back.
"YUCK! I WARNED YOU!" she wails.
"Sorry!" I say.
If I still was a wolf, I'd tuck my tail between my legs. It's kind of odd not having a tail... Not much else really happens for most of the trek through the sewer. The crazy girl tells me there are ghosts of guards and asks me if I can see them. I can't, but I tell her I can just to amuse her.
"Tee hee hee! I bet you can guess where we are now, now can't you?!" she asks.
"In a stinky sewer?" I ask.
"Ugh, you're hopeless..." she says with a groan.
We reach a door and I stand there and stare at it.
"Bark!" I say.
"OH COME ON! JUST OPEN THE DOOR! YOU HAVE HANDS!" the wolf yells at me.
"Oh... Right..." I say.
I do what the humans always do and reach out, grab the knob, and turn it. On the other side, it no longer stinks.
"Ah! Phew! Fresh air!" I cry out.
"Shhh... There's probably guards around here... If they catch you, they'll probably lock you up again!" the wolf whispers loudly.
"The ones you said were dead?" I ask.
"No, live ones," the wolf says.
"Where now?" I ask, standing in a stairwell.
"Up!" the wolf says.
"Okay!" I say.
I start going up the stairs on all fours, which surprises the wolf.
"What in Hyrule are you doing?!" she asks.
"Going up the stairs..." I say.
"Ugh... Maybe you're right... Maybe you were a wolf..." the wolf says.
I grin and keep going until I reach a gap.
"Uh oh. I can't go any further..." I say.
"Yeah you can. Just jump the gap!" she says.
I try to jump the gap on all fours and I end up falling through back to the bottom.
"Ouch!" I cry out.
"Yeah, maybe that wouldn't happen if you went up the stairs like a normal person," the wolf says.
I try again, she leads me on, hoping over the gaps as though they are nothing. Then we reach the top where another door is.
"Out here!" the wolf calls.
"Okay!" I say.
I push this door open because it has no knob and suddenly, I find myself on a roof top in the middle of the dark. We appear to be quite a ways off the ground.
"Wow! I don't think I've ever been this high off the ground before!" I comment.
"Well! We've got further to go. I want you to meet someone special, but we cannot reach her until we go all the way to the highest roof," the wolf says.
"I don't have a tail anymore... I don't know if I can balance up here..." I say, gulping nervously.
"Do I have to drag you along?!" she asks, turning and snarling at me.
"No, no... I'm coming!" I say.
She leads and I follow. She makes me leap over really large gaps that don't look like they are even jumpable.
"Good boy! Keep coming!" she says.
Finally, after she has to fight off some ugly bird things for me because I am defenseless, we reach the tallest tower and we climb into the window.
"You first..." she says, grinning.
"Okay!" I say.
I have completely forgotten I'm only wearing a tutu... She keeps laughing as I pull myself into the building. I get up, smoothen my tutu and peer out the window.
"Are you coming up here?" I ask.
She practically floats into the window, making me question why I've been carrying her around this whole time.
"Shhh... She's right inside that room..." the wolf says, using her hair hand to point to a partially open door.
I take a deep breath and follow the wolf into the room. Standing by a window is a tall figure dressed in a black robe. This must be the girl the wolf wants me to meet. She doesn't turn around, making me wary.
"Midna, who is this indecent scum you've let into my royal chamber," the figure says.
"You remembered my name!" the wolf says, surprised by this, "Well, this here is the one I told you about... Sort of..."
"You said the person you saw was a blue eyed wolf," the woman says.
"I know... Things didn't quite turn out as I expected either, but he has given me reason to believe he is the wolf, just transformed into a human," Midna says.
"Hi! My name is Epic!" I state. She doesn't need to know I'm really Link.
She gasps and turns around to face us, still not lifting the hood of her robe.
"Here, this should help," Midna says.
She snaps the fingers of her hair hand and I am covered by a big black bar that says "censored."
"Censored... What does that mean?!" I ask.
"Honestly, Midna, this makes the situation even worse..." the woman says.
"Go on then, I think you know something that might benefit him. He's a bit confused and needs an explanation of what has happened. Tell him what happened, oh Twilight Princess!" Midna says tauntingly.
Twilight Princess? Is this the princess I was supposed to bring a gift to?! I don't even have the gift! I'm doomed!
"Everything was well and good, perhaps too good... But everything changed when he showed up..." the princess begins.
I stand there awkwardly as she tells the story to me.
"Zant, I believe his name was, broke into my castle and killed all my guards. Never have I seen anything quite like this before, so I drew my sword... But then, he proposed a deal... A terrible deal... I surrender my throne or all my people will be wiped out of existence... I didn't want any harm to come to my people, so I dropped my sword... However, now that I've surrendered my throne, he has broken his promise. All my people have been banished into a state of limbo between dark and light, death and life..." the princess says.
"But, that's not fair!" I argue.
"No, it isn't... But should I dare attack him, they'll be gone for good and so will I..." the princess says.
"Which is why we need you," Midna says, pointing a hair finger at me.
"Now go! Quick before the guards come! And if you ever think of visiting me again, be sure to put more clothes on!" the princess shouts.
Midna leads me away, dispelling the censor bar.
"Can we take the stairs?" I ask.
A noise comes from that direction, alerting us that a guard is about to come up here.
"No, we'll have to go back through the window! Come on! Quickly!" Midna calls, waving me to the window.
I jump into the window and step back out onto the roof. Midna floats after me and leads me further away.
"Okay! So... How do we help the princess?" I ask.
"Oh, we'll get to that... I think you're forgetting about someone, though..." Midna says.
She transforms into Ilia briefly.
"Ilia! How do you know about her?!" I ask.
"I know everything, and if you want to get her back, we must first go back to Ordonia," Midna says, transforming back into a wolf.
"Alright, if you say so!" I say.
"Hang on tight!" Midna says.
She teleports with me back to Ordonia.