About an hour later Harry was lying on the grass, engrossed in *A Wizard of Earthsea*, when a shadow fell over him.  Two shadows.  "This is a great book," he said to the page in front of him. 

"Harry, there are a few things we'd like to discuss with you."  Sirius' raspy voice. 

Harry rolled over and sat up.  That was almost always an ominous phrase.  He looked at them nervously.  "Okay."  

Sirius folded up his long legs and dropped to the ground next to him.  A second later Lupin sat as well.  At least they hadn't dragged him into the house for this little chat.  Harry picked at the grass in front of him, made himself stop. 

Silence, then:  "We think you should--"  "I'd like to--"  Sirius and Lupin had spoken simultaneously.  They looked at each other, then away.

"You start, Remus."  Sirius leaned back on his hands. 

"All right."  Lupin looked at Harry intently for a moment.  "Harry, how many protection spells do you know?" 

"Protection spells?"  This wasn't the topic of conversation he'd expected at all.  "Um, I know some locking spells."

"That's it?"  Next to Lupin, Sirius was making the exasperated noise again.  "That's all the protective magic you know?"

Harry thought.  "Yes."  They didn't look happy.  Maybe he should pay more attention to Hermione when she nattered on about her discoveries in the library stacks. 

"Right."  Lupin let out a breath.  "I'd like to teach you some spells while you're here.  Show you how to put up wards, recognize other people's wards-- can you tell when someone is nearby?  No, that's right, Siri told me."  He was clearly thinking aloud.  Harry noticed the nickname with interest.  "We'll work on that, too.  Er… you probably shouldn't tell anyone at Hogwarts that we're doing this."

Harry nodded.  "Is it-- I mean, is it something I'm not supposed to know?" 

Lupin hesitated.  "It's something you need to know." 

Prevarication, Harry thought happily.  He'd have to tell Hermione that he understood that word now.  "Okay." 

Another pause. 

"Right, there's something else."  Lupin's turn to shift nervously.  "The full moon is in three days."  Sirius made a movement towards him and checked it.  "Today I went to pick up the Wolfsbane Potion.  And I'll be locked in the shed."  He pointed to the small building at the back of the garden.  "Sirius will stay in the house with you, just in case." 

Harry nodded again.  He didn't know quite what he should say.  A question occurred to him.  "I thought the Wolfsbane Potion made it safe for you to be around people?" 

"Safer," corrected Lupin.  "I don't-- I'm not going to take any chances." 

Harry turned the book over in his hands.  "What would you do if I weren't here?" 

Sirius answered before Lupin could.  "He'd take the Potion and then we'd go into the woods."  He indicated the forested area behind the house. 

Harry filed this information away.  "Okay."  He wasn't sure if the conversation was over yet or not.  "Um, is there anything else?"  It hadn't been as scary as he thought.  But they suddenly seemed worried.

Sirius spoke again.  "Yes, we-- we want you to know something.  About us.  That we're--"  He glanced at Lupin.  "Feel free to help out here at any time, Moony."

"Oh no, I think you're doing beautifully."  The yellow eyes gleamed. 

"Thanks.  Your support means so much to me."  Sirius took in a deep breath.  "Harry, Remus and I are-- um.  I'm not just living at his house.  We're living together." 

Harry thought about this distinction.  "So you're--"  He wasn't quite sure what the polite phrase was.  'Shagging' probably wouldn't go over too well.  'Having an affair' sounded weirdly adulterous.  He looked at them, looked at the way they were sitting next to each other, not quite leaning into one another, and understood.  "In love?" 

A smile flashed over Lupin's face.  "Yes."  He wasn't looking at Harry, but at Sirius, who was meeting his eyes just as intently. 

"Okay."  He paused.  "Thanks for telling me."

Sirius looked away from Lupin.  "You're welcome.  Er…  do you-- I hope this doesn't make you uncomfortable.  With me.  Or with us."   

"No, of course not."  Harry pondered his answer for a moment.  He repeated, "No.  It's-- it's not really a surprise."  He felt a blush spread over his face.  God, they'd think he'd been spying on them or something.  

Lupin leaned towards him slightly.  "It's important that you not tell anyone else.  It's potentially dangerous."

"Okay," he said again.  He tried to hide his curiosity, but couldn't help asking, "because Sirius hasn't been cleared yet?" 

"Mm."  Lupin shot him an assessing glance.  "That, and-- it could be used against us.  I mean that--"  He broke off. 

Sirius interjected, "Someone might try to hurt one of us to get to the other."  Lupin sighed.  "What?  That's what you were trying to say."

"Yes, but-- well, anyway."  Lupin stood and stretched.  "I suppose I should think about dinner." 

It was only four in the afternoon.  Lupin went back in the house, leaving Harry and Sirius on the lawn.  Sirius lay back and stared up at the clouds.  "I never get tired of this," he said softly.  "The sky…" 

Harry didn't know what to say to that.  He thought of twelve years in a windowless cell, and shivered. 

"So," Sirius said, still looking up.  "Remus thought you might have some questions for me." 

"Did he?"  But Harry did have a few questions.  "Um…"  Getting started would be the hard part.   

"Does Pomfrey still give that talk on sex education?"  Sirius sounded a little nervous.

Harry blushed.  "Yes."

"Okay, good.  So … were there-- do you have questions about that?"  It actually looked as if Sirius were blushing too.

A sudden thought struck Harry.  "Is this one of those parenting things?"  He tried to imagine Uncle Vernon giving him 'the talk', as Ron had described his own father doing, and failed utterly. 

That surprised a laugh out of Sirius.  "Yes, I suppose so."  He sat up and brushed some grass out of his hair. 

"Well," Harry said carefully, "I don't have any questions about-- um.  But I--"  He pulled up a handful of grass and started shredding it.  "Ron likes Hermione," he blurted out. 

"Okay."  Sirius was considering this.  "Do you like her too?" 

"Oh no.  I mean, not like that."  Harry threw away the handful of mangled grass.  "I think I--"  He sighed.  Why was this so difficult?  He should have signed up for the optional course on rhetoric last year after all.  "What's it like to be in love?" 

"Oh."  There was a long pause.  Sirius was staring at his hands.  "God, you go straight for the tough ones, don't you?" 

"Sorry.  You don't have to--"

"No, it's--"  Sirius looked at him.  "What do you think it's like?  Is there someone you--" 

"I don't know.  I mean I-- I thought I liked this girl called Cho, but I didn't really know her.  But every time I was around her I thought I was going to throw up." 

Sirius chuckled.  "Sorry, but--"  He laughed.  "I know the feeling." 

"And then there was someone last year, but when I got to know the person, I didn't really like them much." 

"Mm.  That happens." 

"And now there's someone I don't really like but I feel-- I want-- I don't know."  Harry decided to shut up.  No, one more thing.  "It's confusing." 

"Yes, it is."  A sigh.  "Well, I don't know how much help I can be with this.  Um.  You're-- you know, people kept telling me this when I was your age and I hated it.  God, I'm turning into my own parents."  A mock glare.  "Look what you're doing to me, young Potter!"  Sirius sobered up.  "But you're very young to be thinking about falling in love.  So just--"

But Harry knew that.  That wasn't what he needed to hear.  "No, Sirius, can you just … tell me what it's like?"  He swallowed.  "I know I don't know."  Okay, that sounded weird.  "I mean-- never mind." 

Sirius touched his shoulder tentatively.  "No, I'll try."  Another silence.  Sirius drew in an audible lungful of air, exhaled.  "I can't live without him.  No, that's not it."  He rubbed his hand over his face.  "I can live without him, but I'm not-- not alive.  Just existing.  Um.  That's it." 

Harry's eyes felt hot.  "Oh."  He thought of something else.  "Have you two been-- for a long time?" 

Sirius nodded.  "Since our last year at school." 

"Oh."  And those twelve years…  He shivered again.  He felt Sirius waiting.  "What about my mum and dad?  Was it like that for them?" 

"Well, they-- things were always a lot less complicated for them." 

Harry paused.  "Because they were straight?"  He still wasn't sure if that was one of the things that was different in the wizarding world.  He'd tried to ask Ron once, but had chickened out halfway through his question.

"That, and--"  Sirius ran his hand through his hair.  "Because of who they were.  Their personalities.  But yes, they were very much in love."  A sudden spark in the blue eyes.  "I remember when your father first noticed Lily.  I mean, we'd known her since first year and he liked her well enough.  But one day James just-- it was as if he just woke up and saw her.  Really saw her.  Thank the spirits she saw him back, otherwise he would have been impossible to live with!"  Sirius laughed. 

Harry grinned too, thinking of the way that Ron had woken him up one night last term.  They'd stayed up for hours as Ron told Harry about his sudden realization that Hermione was the most wonderful person in the world.  "Okay, um, I don't think I have any more questions right now."

"Thank Merlin," Sirius muttered.  Louder: "Let's see how Remus is getting on with dinner, then."  They stood up. 

Impulsively, Harry threw his arms around his godfather.  "Thanks," he said into Sirius' chest. 

Sirius ruffled his hair.  "No problem."

TBC

Minx notes:  Harry is reading Ursula K. LeGuin's *A Wizard of Earthsea*, the first in a trilogy.  It's a coming-of-age story about a young wizard.  I highly recommend this wonderful book and the two that follow it, *The Tombs of Atuan* and *The Farthest Shore*.  In fact, anything by LeGuin is well worth your time.