YOU AND ME
THREE
Among the group of Wildcat friends, there were immediate words which could be associated with each of them. The word most often associated with Taylor McKessie was punctual. In particular, when it came to classes, events, important occasions, any scenario where she would be judged by an authority figure - she was never tardy. In her mind, it was simply not an option.
Which is why one Tuesday morning, ten minutes minutes before the warning bell was due to sound, Gabriella was feeling a little out of sorts at the lack of Taylor's presence.
"You're sure she hasn't texted you either?" Gabriella asked Chad with a furrowed brow.
Chad shook his head. "Sorry Gab. I know it's weird, but even Taylor isn't perfect. She probably slept in or had to get gas on her way to school. She's still got time."
Gabriella still had an unsettled feeling – one which proved to be accurate, but not for any reason that she had anticipated. Taylor walked into school grounds a few minutes later, being greeted by their group. She glanced around, confirming that it was just their regular crew around and that no one else was present.
"Um, can I... can you guys listen up for a minute? I have some news," she said, somewhat uncertainly.
Chad grabbed Kelsi by the arm, bringing her and Ryan in a little closer from where they'd been talking to the side and hadn't heard Taylor.
"I just want to tell you all this once. I don't want to have to tell one person and then they tell someone else and then I get these weird looks. So um, some... developments happened overnight with my college application process. And it has been decided as a result of those developments that I will be attending Stanford University in the fall."
Gabriella looked at Taylor sharply. She understood what this meant. It meant that Taylor had received a rejection letter from Harvard University. Her face was brave, but Gabriella saw beneath the brave mask. Most of the group understood what the implications of her announcement were – most of the group.
"But what happened to..." Jason began to say, and Troy gave him a quick elbow in the side. "Ow!"
"That's so awesome babe!" Chad said enthusiastically – a little forced because he knew that she would be incomprehensibly disappointed, but at the same time filled with genuine joy. The result of her decision was that she would be attending college in the same state as him, just a few hours away by bus or train.
A round of congratulations came from each of the Wildcats. Ryan pulled Jason aside as Taylor was being congratulated, whispering an explanation to him so that he understood that Taylor must have received her rejection letter from Harvard University.
When Gabriella turned to give Taylor a hug, she gave Taylor a look. A 'I know you and I know you're really upset but I won't say anything' look. Taylor merely forced a smile back – and then with realisation, she beamed at her best friend.
"We'll be going to school together!" It was a sudden occurrence to Taylor, one which provided comfort at a time when she was wrapping her head around a change to every plan she'd made for her college years.
Gabriella swallowed, and she could feel Troy's eyes boring into her from just behind. He might've pretended to let go his discovery of her yet to be sent away Stanford acceptance letter, but she knew him better than to think that he'd skated past it. It was a matter of when it would come up again, not if.
"You're going to love Stanford, I think it'll be an amazing experience," Gabriella said genuinely, embracing her friend in a hug.
"It's nice when things work out, even if they aren't the way you expected."
Taylor was putting up a brave front – she wasn't one to let the world see her emotions. She didn't like the fuss that came with it, she didn't like being that girl who starts crying and then people flock around offering condolences and hugs and tissues. She preferred to be surrounded with congratulations when she would deliver a debate-winning speech, or when she received the top grade in a difficult exam.
"Taylor..." Gabriella began to say.
Taylor shook her head. "Not now, Gabriella."
Gabriella nodded, accepting that it wasn't the right time or place to push Taylor into talking about it further.
Come lunch time, though, Gabriella was quick to suggest to Taylor that they go have lunch together, just the two of them, and Taylor was agreeable. She did want to talk about it – and as supportive as Chad was, she knew that he just didn't quite understand, not in the same way that Gabriella did.
The pair headed to the quad for lunch, seizing a bench segregated a little away from everyone else.
"So how do you really feel?" Gabriella asked softly.
Taylor sighed, picking at the crust on her sandwich. "I'm not so much disappointed about not getting to go to the school; as I am disappointed in myself," Taylor admitted. "I'm trying to tell myself that things happen for a reason. Maybe I'm meant to go to school closer to Chad, and with you. Don't get me wrong – I cried last night. I cried and I cried. But then it's like... I decided that it wasn't worth my tears."
"I'm... I'm really proud of you. I have to admit, I thought you'd take it harder."
"It helps... that you're going to Stanford. It helps a lot."
With Taylor and Gabriella absent from their lunch table, Kelsi, Troy and Ryan decided to head to the library during the second half of lunch. Troy needed to return a book, Kelsi wanted to check her e-mail and Ryan was just tagging along for fun. Kelsi had been compulsively checking her e-mail several times a day ever since Ryan had received his Juilliard acceptance. She wasn't making a huge fuss about it, but the wait was becoming excruciating. Just a few days earlier, she'd received an acceptance from her preferred back up school – the Bard College Conservatory of Music. However she couldn't deny that Juilliard was where her heart wanted to be. Her acceptance into Bard was an excellent indicator that she just might be Juilliard standard – it was the first time that Kelsi had begun to see herself as maybe having a talent which would make her a formidable force beyond their East High universe.
Troy dropped his book in the returns slot and then followed Kelsi and Ryan into the almost empty computer lab. He wasn't bothered much to do anything online but nonetheless slid into a chair on one side of Kelsi and tapped in his student ID and password to log into the system.
"Sucks that they blocked Facebook," Troy pouted, the school having cracked down on access to the social networking site just the week before.
"You need to get an iPhone, then you can get on whenever you want," Ryan bragged. "Sharpay is so pissed at herself for not getting an iPhone when our father offered. She still has her Blackberry and hates it."
"Didn't she get a new TV instead?" Troy asked. He'd heard from Zeke that the television in Sharpay's bedroom was a monstrous, cinema sized flat screen.
"Yup, and she's realised that the iPhone is something she would've had next year – wherever she's gonna be. She might not be able to take the TV with her."
"I can't afford an iPhone. My parents pay my phone bill as long as I don't go over the limit each month – you can't get an iPhone on that budget! I do think I'm gonna be able to convince them to get me a new laptop, though. I have a desktop at the moment and dad's laptop spends more time in my room than with him, but I really want a laptop of my own for college."
"With a webcam so you can Skype with Gabriella?"
"Naturally."
"Holy shit."
While the boys had been talking, Kelsi had quietly logged into her system and opened her e-mail account, not paying much attention to them. Her stunned, breathless tone tore both of their attentions away from their discussion about gadgets and onto their pint sized friend.
"What?" Ryan asked.
"I um... I... I..." she merely pointed at the screen frantically, bouncing in her chair.
Troy slid over in his rolling chair and focused on the screen where she had an e-mail open, skim reading aloud.
"Dear Ms. Nielson, blah blah... we are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted... fall 2008... Juilliard..."
Ryan gasped. "Kelsi! You got in! You got accepted to Juilliard!"
The boys both turned to look at her, staring in disbelief at the screen. "Is it real? Did it really happen?"
"It's so real! We're going to New York!" Ryan exclaimed. He leapt to his feet, dragging Kelsi to hers and engulfing her in a hug.
"I seriously cannot believe it. Troy, pinch me!" she commanded.
Troy laughed, embracing Kelsi in his own hug. "I don't need to pinch you. It's true, Kelsi, I just read it."
"We need to go tell everyone!" Ryan exclaimed, reaching toward his messenger bag.
Kelsi grasped his arm, pausing him. "Um... can we not?"
Troy and Ryan exchanged looks. "Why don't you want to tell people?" Troy asked.
Kelsi shrugged. "I just... you know, Taylor is having a tough time. And Sharpay doesn't know if she got in yet. I just... can we at least wait a day or so? I'll tell Gabriella. But... no one else."
"You should be proud, Kelsi," Ryan pointed out. "And proud to tell people! No one deserves this more than you, no one!"
"I am proud. I'm so proud. But I don't want to make things harder for Taylor, at least not today."
Troy was dressed in a wife beater and a pair of sweat pants, and was lying back on his bed, lounging around. Meanwhile Gabriella sat upright at the small desk by the window at Troy's computer. They were studying, but Troy had lost all interest about five minutes after the process had begun. He recognised that Gabriella was only trying to help him – the previous month of his life had been dedicated to the state basketball squad, and he'd gotten a little behind in some of his studies. His father had been convinced that a solid state season was essential to sealing the deal with a few of the colleges Troy had reached verbal agreements with. For Troy, state season served as an opportunity to perhaps win back a little of the dignity that had been stripped away when the Wildcats had lost the championships to the West High Knights. And so his spare hours had been funnelled into training. The team had made it to the final of the south western regionals, narrowly losing to the side from Nevada. Even being voted New Mexico State MVP hadn't quite made up for the loss in his mind; however it had been a pretty great ego boost, making up for not being selected for the McDonalds All-American. Now, after the conclusion of state season with his mind reasonably set on his path for college, his attention returned to his school work which had been somewhat neglected. He was happy with his B average track, Gabriella seemed to think that maybe he could do better if he believed in himself and applied himself.
Fortunately for Troy, or unfortunately as he viewed in that moment, his girlfriend was committed to supporting his academic endeavours. Troy was certainly viewing it as unfortunate that Thursday afternoon. Gabriella's house was empty, and when she'd murmured in his ear that they should spend their half school day studying at his house, he'd smirked and initiated a fiery kiss – on any other day studying was a word which could be taken literally, but on Thursday's, Troy took it to mean something else altogether.
"You could at least pretend to be helping me here," Gabriella said with a small pout.
She had Troy's English report open in front of her on the desktop computer. She would've loved to have been lounging on the bed but she knew that his report was due Monday morning and he was going to be tight for time to get it finished. They were getting right into rehearsals for Bye Bye Birdie and they'd committed to rehearsals all day on Saturday. She didn't want to write it for him, but was at least willing to be the scribe if he voiced aloud his thoughts for what to include.
"You could take your top off," Troy countered.
Gabriella faked an admonishing stare. "Maybe if you helped me and we could finish this report, I would take my top off as a reward?"
Troy sighed. "I just don't care about my English report, babe. I can do it later. I know you're trying to help which I love you for, but there's no need to like, monitor me."
"When later? You need to do your math homework later," she chided. "You haven't signed on the line with UC Berkeley yet, and if you let your grades slip, they just might hear about it and pull their offer."
With one sentence, she succeeded in reminding him of what had been niggling at the back of his mind. Sometimes when life seems to be too good to be true, it's the universe telling you that it simply isn't true. Instinct can be a valuable tool – if you have a hunch that things are going to go astray, they typically are. Gabriella and Troy were deliriously happy, or so Troy thought, but he just couldn't put his finger on something that didn't quite seem right. He had complete faith in Gabriella's feelings for him: you couldn't fake the height of the emotions they were experiencing simultaneously when entangled in a hot, sweaty mess of love and lust. Troy was known for his selective comprehension – if something was amiss and it was something he didn't want to know about, he had the ability to pick it up and push it aside and practically pretend as though this was a means of dealing with it.
He was beginning to realise that it wasn't a means for dealing with it.
He was beginning to pinpoint what it was that wasn't right.
"Gabriella, can we talk about something?"
"Sure."
She wasn't paying much attention to him, focused instead on the paper on the screen in front of her. Troy leaned over and moved the computer mouse to physically close the window, and she finally looked up at him.
"I know you're sick of talking about this, but I'm sorry, I need to ask you a question and I need you to answer me with honesty."
He pulled her by the hand from the desk chair, bringing her over to the bed to sit cross legged facing him.
"You haven't mailed away your Stanford acceptance letter. You got really excited telling me about an element of the program at MIT. Please talk to me about this – with honesty."
She sighed and looked at him. She'd known that when she had chosen to talk to him about the program at MIT that she was opening a can of worms. She couldn't blame him. And finally – she felt as though maybe it was time to put every single one of her cards on the table.
"I do really love the idea of the program which MIT are offering. The job market is getting tougher and tougher and the sooner that you can start getting field relevant work experience the better. Stanford have a major in chemical engineering and a major in biological engineering and so I suppose I could just do a double major but MIT have a major in chemical-biological engineering so I could then use my second major..."
"I'm a pretty simple-minded guy, Gabi, I need it in English," Troy interrupted, pleadingly. He couldn't handle the minute details, not then, not there.
She swallowed. "It's a subtle difference, but a difference that matters a lot to me. Plus whereas MIT doesn't have an official pre-med program; there is a really logical track into Harvard Med, should I decide to actually pursue a doctorate."
Troy's eyes widened. "So... that'd be talking about a few more than four years out east, huh?"
She nodded, biting her lower lip. "If that scenario eventuated... then yeah."
"Two years ago I thought that MIT was just for pimply faced geeks who were only ever in the lab or the library," Troy said, a little dumbly.
"There's a lot of stereotype that comes with MIT but... a lot of it is just that. Stereotype."
"Even if it was true, that isn't something that would stop you, is it?"
She was staring at her hands. Troy reached out, taking her hands in his. "We're spending a lot of time talking about MIT right now."
"You know how you talked about Berkeley feeling... right? Everything about it? The air, the clothes people were wearing, the vibe in the dorms?"
Troy nodded. That was exactly how he'd felt. "Yeah?"
"I didn't feel it at Stanford. I tried... I tried so hard. I told myself that it would come with time; that when I have a schedule, a dorm, when I start building a life, that the sense of belonging would come along with that."
"Okay... so... what did you feel at MIT?"
"Peace."
Troy knew where the conversation was going. It was already so evident.
"People say that MIT makes no sense. Taylor, Mr. Davis, my mom even. They're surprised that I would consider MIT, they don't think that I'll fit in culturally. But there was just something intangible about the campus that drew me in. The entrepreneurial spirit, the contemporary thought. Taylor and I went for his massive walk across the bridge into Boston proper and along the Charles River, looking across the river over at MIT... and it all just made sense for me."
Troy sighed. He couldn't condemn her for feeling like she'd found where she belonged. It was just unfortunate that it was over three thousand miles away from where he felt like he belonged.
"You're upset," Gabriella said softly. "And I haven't even... said it yet."
"It sounds like you've felt this way pretty much the whole time. Why did you ever agree to accepting at Stanford? This isn't a sudden realisation, is it? It sounds to me like the internship program is just yet another pro to somewhere that you already felt draw toward."
"Because the idea of being so far away from you terrifies me! When we have homeroom and first period together and then we part ways to go to second period – I feel this pang of separation. When we're sitting here, like this..." she moved forward, just inches away from him, clasping his hands in hers. "And then we have to separate..." she let go of his hands, shuffling backwards. "I feel the separation. I'm more in love with you than ever... and on paper Stanford is going to provide just as many opportunities as MIT. So why go through the pain and misery of being apart? That's why."
"I don't think 'us' being the cause of a regret or a 'what if' is going to be good for us in the long run," Troy said seriously. "You spent so long trying to make sure that I made my college decision for me; and I'm so grateful to you for forcing that upon me."
It was as he spoke those words out loud, as it occurred to him that there was a direct parallel between the way that Gabriella had supported him and the situation that she was in now - he knew that how he handled this moment was to be a defining moment of his character.
"I'm not unreasonable, babe. If I'd known you felt like this about MIT... but I had no idea! You'd really painted this picture of your choices being fairly equal in your mind. That's the only reason I ever made it out that I felt like you should just come to California for us. That was on the basis of all things being equal!"
"Guess I'm a good liar... not just to you, but to myself mostly," she said softly.
"Trying to convince yourself, maybe?"
"Hmm."
"I'm not saying I want you to be across the country. I'm not saying it's gonna be easy. But... if this is how you really feel... then you should go to MIT."
Gabriella's lower lip trembled. For the longest time, she'd wanted him to support her. She'd been angry at him for pushing Stanford upon her. But not, faced with the reality of the decision which they both knew was coming, it was harder than she ever could have anticipated.
"I don't know if I would ever be able to handle being apart from you," she said, her voice choked up. "I don't know if I could do this... be with you, but not be with you." He held his hands out, taking hers again, and drew her toward him. She allowed him to pull her into his arms, and down into his embrace, snuggling in by his side.
"If we're meant to be, if this is real... we'll make it work," Troy said defiantly. "Consider it a test of us."
"Haven't we been through enough tests?"
"And passed them all with flying colours. We can Skype," Troy pointed out.
"It'll make me miss you even more," Gabriella said despondently, thoughts of being able to see him but not to touch him.
"We can chat on AIM in class," he continued.
"I'm not going to distract you from your studies!" Gabriella admonished, slapping the arm that encircled her waist lightly.
"We'll have an excuse to travel around America, meeting up in random cities when there are cheap airfares," he said brightly.
"You mean we'll have to work ridiculous hours at part time jobs to save and scrounge every penny?"
"When we do get together, the sex is going to be really, really hot,' he murmured, nibbling on her ear.
"You're a man, you'll get lonely... you have needs... there'll be new, fascinating, beautiful women around..."
"I am not the straying type," Troy said firmly, quashing the idea.
"I never thought that I was the jealous type, until you."
"You're being so glass half empty!"
The room went quiet, and then she spoke the most two truthful words she had among all of their conversations about what the future would hold for their relationship.
"I'm scared."
"So am I. We can make this work though – but it's only going to work if you believe."
"I believe in you. I believe in us. I guess I just... I guess maybe I don't believe in me."
"Good thing I believe in you then."
A bend in the universe is gonna make everything in our whole world change
It's all changing
You know that where we are will never be the same
Right here, right now
I'm looking at you and my heart loves the view
Coz you mean everything
Right here, I promise you somehow
Tomorrow can wait for some other day to be
Right now there's you and me
Vanessa Hudgens & Zac Efron, 'Right Here, Right Now'