Title: Reflections of a Regret
Author: ice
Genre: General, Family
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: AtoJi
Summary: An introspective view of Jirou's life from a childhood to adulthood from the views of his family.
When Jirou was born, I didn't think too much of it. I already had one son being trained to be the heir afterall. One was quite enough for me. I didn't know how to be a father, and wasn't sure I ever wanted to be one. I doubt the way my father raised me was the ideal life for a child. I knew that much, but as for knowing what to do myself, I do not know.
So, when Jirou was born and brought home, I continued life as if he did not exist. To my wife, who was quite happy to have a backup, Jirou was another object. She seemed even less concerned for Jirou. He didn't seem to serve any purpose in our household except to be there if something ever happened to our oldest. Not that we wouldn't prevent said problems from ever occurring. To sum it up, Jirou had no actual purpose in our life.
I'm not even sure who named him Jirou. 'Jirou' was the name traditionally given to second born sons afterall, a constant reminder that they lived in the shadow of someone else. Perhaps the nurse at the hospital did.
I was very detached from Jirou's life, and never bothered to become involved in it. His silence and soft persona only furthered this isolation. He was soft-spoken, did not cause any ruckuses, did not cry nor scream as an infant. We didn't have to deal with him. It was almost a pain when Mei-chan was born.
She would keep the household awake with her screams at times. My wife and I began to stay out later during these times until she matured slightly. However, my wife treasured her, and even I liked her a little. She was the baby of the family, a beautiful baby. She would grow up to break hearts, I'm sure. Whether her personality would put them off or not is another question. We began spoiling her rotten at times, giving her whatever she desired. It was the quickest way to make her quiet down. I almost missed Jirou at these times.
However, visiting Mei-chan and visiting Jirou were two very different situations. Mei-chan paid attention and perked up the moment someone stepped into her room. Jirou continued to sleep. I didn't know that he slept that much, but he seemed to be fine. He came down for meals every dinnertime. So I left the issue alone.
As they grew, I continued grooming my oldest to take over my company. He was successful in his studies and had made many connections in school. He seemed to have some problems with making it into the elite, however. I realize that Hyoutei probably has higher standards than one realizes though, and so did not say much about it to him. I don't think my wife realizes that he had barely made it into their world.
She continued to compare him to Jirou, saying that Jirou was a useless son, a waste of space. I really wondered about him though. He didn't seem to do much, but he survives in Hyoutei? I found that slightly difficult to believe, but no one ever complained about his habits, so I let it go.
His accomplishments in tennis did interest me a little though. I had tried looking up how he managed to get on a Nationals level team, but did not have much success. But then, I did not have much time to bother with it anyways. My oldest was going to start university, and needed much help if he was going to take over for me.
Then Jirou disappeared. He just suddenly moved out. The house felt a little more dreary somehow. It was the same as when he had lived there since he had been rarely awake and around, but somehow, it just felt different. But life moved on. It was his choice that he wanted to get out of the house. I suppose it is understandable though. Our family had been repressing him quite a bit. I wasn't even sure if he had a personality left.
Then I fell sick four years later. I had overworked myself and caught the latest disease. I wasn't sure how I would handle this, but by the ninth month in the hospital, I knew that I didn't have much of a chance left. Three months after that, I heard that my end was near. At this time, I thought back to that fluffy head of blond hair that had always seemed to hide in his room.
I told my family that I wanted to see Jirou one last time.
At first my son agreed to find him, but then he reported that Jirou had disappeared, that it would be very difficult to find him. I was disappointed. I had wanted to see how he was doing before my time ran out, to see whether he was living comfortably, but I supposed it had not meant to be.
But then a cure was found. Miraculously, I would eventually fully recover. It didn't make any sense. Logically, there was no way for that to have happened. None of the scientists had been even close to cracking the mystery for the past year and a half, and yet somehow a cure was found in three months? Impossible.
Then my oldest told us that the Atobe Enterprises had a part in it. My heart skipped a beat. Atobe? They were very well known for both their class and wealth. They were the top of the top, the best of the best; they had everything anyone could ever desire or wish for. Anyone who received the support of Atobe would find the impossible suddenly possible...as seemingly proved by my recovery. Any contracts made with them would almost guarantee one life-long success.
And so, my son went, both to thank you and to attempt to secure a contract. We had high hopes for him. (Vaguely, I also thought that the Atobe group would most likely be able to locate Jirou.) If he managed to secure a contract, all of our hard work would have paid off. I was slightly sad that Jirou would never be able to know this though, or if he did, I doubted that my wife and daughter would accept him. Perhaps my son would; he did enjoy being around Jirou when he was a child. I didn't understand why he stopped, however. Although that did give him more time to concentrate on studies, I had yet to begin training him. But I digress.
The next thing we know and hear from our son, is that Jirou was the one who helped us. Not Atobe.
Jirou? The one that everyone neglected? That Jirou?
But how?
And my son explained. Apparently, Jirou lived with Atobe, was someone who could influence Atobe. It was a strange thought. The one that everyone did not want to deal with ended up being the one who saved me, ended up as the one who had everything we wanted and worked for.
In a way, it was unfair, and yet, it was also fair.
We neglected him for our own personal pursuits. Sometimes I had wondered how Jirou would survive in the world.
I had my answer now.
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