All the people who had reviewed, favorited, and followed this story- OMFG THANK YOU! Real life has been super complicated for me this past week and I am so sorry this chapter is so late! I will try to stay on some sort of schedule and get these chapters out! You all are a wonderful inspiration and I love you! (in a non-creepy way). Many thanks to Ash for proof-reading!
I woke up to the melodious voice of my roommate. Fuck. It's too early for this.
"Rise and shine best friend!" Gamzee trumpeted happily from the kitchen.
"Fuck you, Makara," I grumbled and burrowed under my warm blankets. The beginnings of a headache made me wonder what time it was. Suddenly, my blankets were whisked away and bright light turned the insides of my eyelids red. A horn honked loudly in my ear.
"Gamzee!" I groaned and curled up. "It's too damn early and cold!"
A shadow blocked the light and I opened one eye to see him smiling down at me. He was wearing his pink polka dot apron over his usual polka dot pants and some obscure T-shirt. I looked at his feet and saw that he was wearing bunny slippers. Why did my roommate have to be the weirdest person on the planet?
"Aren't you just the cutest fucker."
I pulled my left arm out from under me and flipped him the bird. He chuckled and poked my side.
"You have class this morning, bro." Oh shit.
I shot right up as if someone had electrocuted me. "Oh my holy fucking shit!" I yelped.
"What time is it?" I demanded as I rocketed off my bed. My foot caught on a leg of my desk chair and I went crashing to the floor.
"Karbro, chill. It's only-"
"Ten thirty!" I shrieked as I saw my phone's display. "My class started half an hour ago!" I scrambled to my feet, snatching up notebooks along the way. I tore out of the room and shoved the books into my bag. Oh fuck. I'm really in for it this time. is going to have my head on a silver platter!
Gamzee followed me and watched as I looked for something to eat. "Wait, bro. Seriou-"
"I really have to go dumb ass!" I yelled over him as I grabbed a pop tart. Do I have everything?
"Shit! My computer!" I ran back into my room and dug it out from under a pile of papers.
I sprinted out of the apartment, pop tart hanging from my mouth and my computer under my arm.
"Calm the mother fuck down," Gamzee called after me.
The fuck was he talking about? How was I supposed to calm down when I was late? I dug my keys out of my pocket and unlocked my car. I threw my backpack and computer onto the passenger seat and jammed the key into the ignition. Without bothering to fasten my seatbelt, I pressed my foot against the gas pedal. The car sped out of the lot, leaving skid marks and the faint smell of burned rubber.
I zipped past a sign that said the speed limit was forty miles per hour. Screw that. The needle on the speedometer started inching towards sixty. I hoped there weren't any police officers around this. Shit! Some guy was crossing the street ahead of me. Instead of breaking, I pushed my foot down on the gas pedal and swerved around him.
"Use a crosswalk, jackass!" I yelled.
I made it to the school parking lot in two minutes, a record time for me. I walked slowly toward the computer lab, trying to think of what I should say. I didn't think she would accept an apology this time... I was doomed. I hung my head and opened the door...
And blinked in amazement. There were only three students in the room.
"Karkat!" exclaimed. "You're early!" What.
"Early?" I sputtered in amazement. "But it's ten-thirty!"
She looked at me like I had sprouted another head. "It's nine-forty five.'
I heard someone giggle and my middle finger immediately went up in their direction. glared at me and crossed her arms. I shrugged half-heartedly and sat down.
Suddenly, my phone vibrated. Text message? From who? I took out my phone and flipped it open. It was John Egbert. Suddenly, comprehension dawned on me. That sack of shit! He had changed my phone's time! And the clock in my room. I growled and stabbed the center button, opening the message. It read,
-Hey, Karkat! Have any EXCITEMENT this morning? ;D
Yes, as a matter of fact, I did. That smug little bastard. I was never letting him see my phone ever again. I hit reply.
-JOHN YOU ARE BY FAR THE MOST INFURIATING PERSON I HAVE EVER MET. FUCK YOU, FUCK YOUR DAD- IN FACT, FUCK YOUR ENTIRE GENERATION OF GODDAMN PRANKSTERS.
I sent it and seethed in silence. God damn! My stomach growled, reminding me that I had only had a pop tart for breakfast. I could already tell that today was going to be simply fantastic. My phone vibrated again. Without even reading what he had texted, I wrote,
-IM NOT TALKING TO YOU.
I clicked send and took my notebook from my backpack. I imagined John, tanned, kinda short, black hair, bright blue eyes and buck teeth. All in all, pretty attractive. Then, I imagined punching him in the face. My mood improved slightly.
I shoved my hand into my sweatshirt's pocket in search of a pen and instead, I found a receipt. It was from the grocery store, yesterday. In a flash, I remembered the boy I had seen. I opened a new message and typed,
-HOW THE FUCK DID JOHN RESET MY CLOCK AND PHONE TIME? ANYWAY. I WAS WONDERING IF YOU KNEW THIS GUY. HES REALLY TALL, THIN, AND WEARS WEIRD GLASSES WITH RED AND BLUE LENSES.
I sent that message to Gamzee and watched as more students filled the room. John texted me again and I sighed.
- cmon Karkat! it was harmless!
I resisted the urge to throw my phone across the room.
-NO IT WASNT. MY MORNING HAS BEEN RUINED BECAUSE OF YOU.
I ignored John's call and opened the message from Gamzee.
-UhH...i CanT sAy I kNoW tHe FuCkEr. TaVbRo mIgHt ThOugh. I wIlL mOtHeRfUcKiNg GeT mY aSk On. HoNk. :o)
The lights dimmed and I realized that class was starting. started a PowerPoint and I quickly texted a response.
-THANKS MAN
I settled back in my hard plastic chair and tried to focus. But, as I stared at the glowing projection, I felt my eyelids closing. I shook my head frantically, trying to stay awake. But I was so tired and hungry...A small nap wouldn't hurt...righ-
"Karkat!" said sharply. My eyelids snapped open and I sat up straight. I realized with horror that it was quarter to eleven. I had slept through more than half of my class! Shit. As if today couldn't get any worse.
"Which of these codes is correct for eliminating a virus?" Fuck.
I squinted at the projected screen. I had absolutely no clue.
"The...second one?" I guessed.
"Wrong!" I heard a giggle from the front of the classroom. "You can go back to sleep now."
I winced and hunched my shoulders, trying to hide the blush of embarrassment that tinted my face. I managed to focus for the rest of class. When the lights came back on, I packed up my bag and sighed again. I am so going to fail this class. I was almost to the door when I heard 's voice.
"Karkat."
Oh god. She's going to fail me. Dad is going to be so pissed. I turned around slowly, as if that could somehow prevent the conversation we were going to have. I shuffled over to her desk, feeling like I was back in high school.
"You're failing this class," she said bluntly. I hadn't realized that I had been holding my breath. I exhaled slowly and looked at her face. She was staring right at me.
"You know there's a big test coming up next month." Her voice was kinder this time, but to me, it sounded like a death sentence.
"Yeah, about that," I muttered and looked at my shoes.
"If you get a high score, it might lift your grade to passing. I recommend you get a tutor." Yup. I'm screwed.
"Right. Yeah. Of course," I promised. Where the hell was I going to find a tutor? Maybe Kanaya could help. turned away and I took that as a dismissal. I sighed again and plodded towards my car.
When I got back to the apartment, it was empty. He was probably at class. My stomach grumbled, reminding me again of my scant breakfast. I felt like eating macaroni and cheese. I took a box of kraft macaroni and cheese out of our mostly empty pantry and started making it.
I also decided to have hot chocolate. Macaroni and cheese, hot chocolate, and a rom-com could cure just about anything. While the water boiled for the macaroni, I started to boil a small pan of milk as well. When everything was finished, I brought it all to the couch and settled in to watch a movie. Part of the way through Failure to Launch, Gamzee sauntered in.
"Hey, motherfucker."
"Hey, douchenozzle." I sipped my cooling hot chocolate and kept watching the movie. Life was normal. He sat down next to me with one of his disgusting soft drinks and we watched the movie in silence. Just when the two main characters were forced into a room together to talk about their feelings, his head fell against and shoulder and he snored in my ear.
This was the best part! Some people have no appreciation for fine works of cinema. Well. Granted, this particular one wasn't the best-I had only seen it three or four times-but falling asleep during a movie was stupid!
"Get off of me, you turd muffin!" I hissed and elbowed him in the ribs.
"Motherfucking...muffins," he mumbled, still asleep. God, I hated it when he did this. And when he hugged me. It's just...No. You did not fucking hug me. There was no hugging Karkat Vantas. Ever. I shrugged my shoulder, trying to dislodge him. His hand flopped down right on the bruise that was forming on my leg from this morning.
"Fuck!" I hissed in pain and tightened my hands into fists.
"Get off!" I repeated, this time punching his stomach.
"Motherfuck!" he exclaimed as he fell off the couch. His face clouded with confusion and he sat up.
"Why are you up and punching a brother when he's trying to get his snooze on, Karbro?"
"You were sleeping on me, you moronic clown," I replied and turned back to the small tv.
"Oh." He produced a horn out of seemingly nowhere, and honked it. "Sorry 'bout that." He blinked slowly and got up, going towards the kitchen. Probably to make another god awful culinary creation. When the movie ended, I turned off the tv and stretched. I should text Kanaya.
"Sollux Captor," Gamzee said as I plunked my dishes in the sink. The hell?
"I only speak English. Try again, fucknuts," I snapped.
"Naw man. It's the name of the brother you were all searching for." Oh. What kind of a name was that? And yet, the name strangely fitted the boy I had seen. A weird-ass name for a weird-ass person. Perfect balance.
"How did you find out?" I leaned against the counter, trying to not look eager.
"Well." He put his mixing spoon down and took a deep breath. " I asked Tavbro, who texted Vriska, who was having lunch with Terezi, who texted Kanaya, who knows his ex-girlfriend Feferi, who's friends with his girlfriend, Aradia." He looked pleased with himself that he had remembered all that.
I blinked; I had no idea who most of those people were. Wait. "S-so all these people know I'm looking for him?" I stuttered in disbelief. Great. Just great.
Gamzee scrunched his nose.
"Yup."
Fantastic. And shoot, he had a girlfriend.
"Well. Thanks anyway," I mutter.
"No problem." He went back to mixing and I wandered back to the couch. I opened a new message on my phone.
-HEY KANAYA. I NEED HELP WITH SOMETHING. ARE YOU DOING ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
A few seconds later, my phone buzzed.
- Hello, Karkat. I Do Not Have Plans For This Afternoon. Feel Free To Come By Whenever You Would Like.
-THANKS. IS UH VRISKA GOING TO BE THERE?
I hated that girl. She was the craziest person I knew, and not in a good way.
-No, She Would Appear To Be Out.
Jesus Christ in a bucket. Did everyone I know text in some weird way? I glared at my phone's broken keyboard. When Gamzee and I had shared a dorm room, I had once thrown the shitty thing out of our window. Our third floor window. Thankfully, it had landed in a bush. But, I was forever fated to text in caps until I felt the urge to get a new phone. Which I won't.
"I'm going over to Kanaya's," I told Gamzee as I went into my room. After changing my clothes and locating a suitably warm sweatshirt, I walked to the door.
"Ok?" Did he even hear me? He was humming and pouring a fruity smelling mixture into a pie crust. Ew.
"Miracles. Say 'hi' to that chica for me." I rolled my eyes and left.
Kanaya Maryam was my other best friend. If I had to pick a word to describe her, it would probably be elegant. She had an air around her that commanded your respect and attention. Her eyes were an unusually bright green against her caramel colored skin. Her major was Apparel and Fashion Design and she was apeshit bananas at it.
She lived in a dorm room with the craziest bitch alive, Vriska Serket. She was also the scariest bitch alive. You'd think that being in a fight where she lost sight in her left eye and got her arm mangled so badly that she had to get it amputated would dampen her attitude. Not Vriska. She probably asked if she could get her prosthetic arm with only the middle finger on it. I try to avoid her as much as I can.
"It's me," I said as I knocked on her door.
"It's unlocked," came the reply.
The room was obviously divided into two parts for two very different people. Kanaya's side of the room was tastefully decorated in shades of jade, yellow, and blue. Everything was organized and a floor lamp blanketed the room in soft light. Vriska's side on the other hand... Was that a condom on the floor? I used to feel sorry for Kanaya, but she assured me that she was friends with Vriska and everything was alright. Kanaya was the most normal person I knew, but I was beginning to doubt her sanity.
Kanaya was, of course, at her desk sketching out a pattern for something. I closed the door behind me and went over to stand next to her.
"Hello, Karkat," she said, looking up at me briefly before going back to her paper. "Please make yourself comfortable. I shall be finished in a moment." She was probably working on a dress. I sat down on her bed and waited.
A few minutes later, she sighed and pushed her chair away from the desk. "Thank you for waiting. This latest project is particularly difficult." She tucked her pencil behind her ear and bit her lip.
"What are you working on?" I asked, more out of politeness and wanting to put off my problems.
"A dress for Rose." Ah. Her girlfriend. "She finally consented to having me make a dress for her to wear to the winter formal." Now I get it. Kanaya had wanted to make her a dress for a while.
"And you don't know what to do," I finished for her.
"Yes. And this might be my only chance." She glared at her design sheet over her shoulder.
"Do you want any help?" I didn't know shit about making anything but, I felt that as a friend, I should offer anyway.
Her lips twitched into a smile. "No, it's quite alright. However, I hear that you have a problem?" The unhappy expression on her face changed into one of interest. Well, here we go. I hopes she could help.
"Yeah. I'm failing my Computer Science class." It was my turn to bite my lip. "I need a tutor and I was wondering if you knew anyone."
"I take it that all of your classmates are unsuitable?" Those idiots? Why would I want to spend anymore time with them then I had to?
I cleared my throat. "Yeah, that's one way of putting it."
"I heard you were looking for Sollux Captor." WHAT. Why the hell are we talking about this? My face heated up. I was blushing. Fuck my life.
"Why are we talking about this?"
She raised an eyebrow. "I was under the impression you wanted a tutor." I couldn't believe my ears.
"He does computer science?"
She nodded and smiled knowingly. "Correct."
I tried not to look too excited. I watched with mild embarrassment as her smile widened. Looks like I failed.
"Give me your phone," she extended her hand and I dropped my phone into it. "This is his number," she said while typing. I held out my hand for the phone but she paused.
"He is in a relationship," she reminded me. Who cares?
I smirked. "That hasn't stopped me before," I said, thinking of my brief fling with John. We had first met last year at a film festival. I had fallen hard for him, but he had firmly insisted that he was "not homosexual". He had even dated this girl in an attempt to prove it to me. However, after a certain night on a trip to the beach, he now had a much more open perspective-to say the least.
She frowned. "I know it hasn't...just...be careful."
"Yes ma'am," I said sarcastically and saluted her.
She sighed and gave my phone back. I slid it into my sweatshirt's pocket. Then a wave of doubt crashed over me. What should I text him? Should I call?
"Is there any chance you would.."
"Talk to him for you?" she finished for me.
"Well. 'Cause you already kinda know him so.." I trailed off.
"Of course I will. But you'll owe me a favor!" It would probably involve modeling something. It could be worse.
"Thanks, Kanaya. You're a gem." I stood up. Whew. Potential catastrophe avoided.
"You are quite welcome." She stood up and hugged me. Kanaya's hugs were an exception.
I was down hallway before I remembered Gamzee's message.
"Gamzee says 'hi'," I yelled over my shoulder. She stuck her hand out of the door and waved.
I was walking down the stairs when my phone buzzed. Was that Kanaya? I opened the text.
- are you the faiiliing moron who need2 my help?