Denial can sometimes eat away at a person, making them turn away from the truth in anger.

Ian wasn't angry at Anthony. He was angry at his brain for betraying him. All these years of telling him women are what he should be seeking. Their nice slender fames with curves that drive men wild. Their supple skin and full luscious lips that seem to want to be kissed. All the way to their round, full bosoms that yearn to be touched. It wasn't like Ian was no longer aroused by them anymore. He just didn't understand why he suddenly felt these familiar feelings once reserved for the opposite sex towards Anthony now and the idea scared and confused him because he no longer felt in control of his own emotions.

And not having any control over his own mind is what really pissed Ian Hecox off.

Chapter 2: Anger

A school year had passed since that awkward incident in the bathroom. Ian wished he could say he'd forgotten about it completely but every once in a while when he would be hanging out with Anthony, the feelings would come flooding back, like some rampantly annoying reminder that said "oh by the way, you're gay for Anthony" when he least expected it and each time he would try to block out the feelings and scold his brain for thinking such things, especially when Anthony was so nearby when it happened. By now he had quit Cross Country despite his teammate's and parent's wishes because he wanted to focus more on making videos and working to pay for equipment. He was also feeling really apprehensive about what he wanted to do after high school because of all the pressure his parents and the school councilor were giving him. His mailbox was already flooding with college pamphlets that frequently misspelled his name, practically begging him to apply to their school, but he just carelessly tossed them in the garbage, only to find a short time later that his mother had fished them out and strewn them on his bed.

"What are you doing with your life, son?" his father suddenly asked when he and Anthony were in the middle of filming a video in the living room. Ian was caught off guard by the question and Anthony sat back silently, not wanting to interfere.

"Dad, can we not do this right now? Anthony's here," he whispered a little harshly to his father. His father looked over Ian's shoulder to Anthony and shrugged.

"So? What difference does that make? In fact, Anthony! What are your plans after high school?"

Ian sighed in frustration and turned his eyes downward, feeling pretty terrible that Anthony had somehow gotten roped into another soon-to-be argument about his future. This is pretty much how they always started.

Anthony moved his arms to his sides and cleared his throat nervously. "Well um, I guess I want to try to get a career in web development and hopefully make a name for myself."

Ian's father looked impressed and nodded seemingly pleased with his answer. "That's good. That's good. Ya hear that Ian? Your friend's got some big plans lined up for his future." He turned to look at his exasperate son clutching his camera in hand, then back to Anthony. "Got any colleges in mind?"

"A few, yeah," Anthony answered back hesitantly, noticing Ian's discomfort on the subject.

"Wonderful! Your parents must be so proud of you," he laughed, even though none of the two teens laughed with him. He turned once again to his son who was already braced for what came next as it always did. "You should be taking notes from this kid, Ian. He's planning a real future for himself, not some dead-end video shenanigan thing like you are."

"Dad, can we please talk about this later? Anthony and I are busy," Ian argued feeling he needed to step up in front of his friend.

His father's eyes went from false cheeriness and narrowed darkly. He leaned closer to Ian and frowned. "Son, when are you gonna grow up like the rest of us and stop wasting your life on all this pointless bullshit? For God's sake you're even dragging your friends into this and pulling them away from their own bright futures."

"I'm not dragging anyone away from anything! Anthony's here of his own free will and he's helping me put the videos on our website!" Ian clutched the camera firmly and took a step forward.

His father scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Listen to yourself, Ian! There's no future in that! You're just wasting your and your friend's time with that garbage! Make your mom and me proud by doing something with yourself. You already disappointed her by quitting cross country-"

"Dad, I don't wanna hear it!" Ian hissed angrily.

"That's your problem! You never do and that's why you're gonna end up a failure like your broke-ass cousin Pete!"

Ian turned to face him sharply, his blue eyes lit with a scorching flame that Anthony rarely ever witnessed. "I never said I wasn't going to college! I'm going, all right?! Can we just drop this already?! Jesus! And the only reason I quit cross country was because of my asthma, in case you haven't forgotten I have!" He began gathering his props and gestured for Anthony to do the same.

His father still wasn't satisfied with his reply, however and continued his belligerent ambush on him. "And what are ya gonna do afterwards, huh? Keep working at Chuck E Cheese?"

He pulled Anthony by the sleeve and they began rushing toward his room. "I'm gonna be better than anything you've ever amounted to! You'll see!" He screamed before slamming the door.

Anthony sat on his bed next to a frustrated Ian who ran a hand though his hair and sighed loudly. "Anthony, I am so so sorry you had to see that," Ian muttered. He stood up abruptly and paced his room, only to settle back in the spot he was sitting in moments ago. Anthony would've found the action humorous if not for the tense atmosphere of the situation. He wanted to be supportive so he put his arm around Ian and rubbed his back.

"Don't worry about it, man. I know how your old man gets," Anthony said trying to be helpful.

Ian's mind was swimming in so many thoughts he didn't even realize Anthony was trying to comfort him. He kept thinking about the fight, his mother, college, his job, the video… damn it! The video! He sighed loudly again, a habit that was beginning to become more and more frequent, and only then he realized the warm hand on his back soothingly caressing him into tranquility.

He had actually forgotten Anthony was in the room with him, but now it was very clear his presence was known by how his arm was across his back and the lack of space between their seated bodies as their legs pressed lightly.

Suddenly every problem that plagued him mere moments ago seemed so pointlessly miniscule and he felt warm and charismatic almost instantaneously. Ian purposely found himself pressing his leg a little bit closer to Anthony's and allowing himself to transcend into the moment like entering a warm, palliative hot spring after a mile long trek in the cold frigid air. He didn't mean to hum contently but Anthony was obviously close enough to hear and react. He almost wanted to lull his head into the crook of Anthony's neck and allow the soft dark brown hair to gently overlap his lighter hair.

"See? Feel better now?" Anthony grinned completely aware his tactics of easing him into a calmer state were working.

"Yeah, I-" Suddenly his mind had eradicated everything except Anthony's presence and he felt his cheeks flush hotly.

Oh, no no no no no. He was getting way too comfortable. This is not good! NOT GOOD AT ALL!

Ian shot up from the bed, his face turning towards Anthony with a disgustingly shocked look. "What the hell are you doing, dude? Stop being weird," he forced out. He shook his head, the thick bowled-hair bobbing along, and stood facing away toward the window. He didn't turn to see Anthony's panged expression of hurt and surprise which fell down to a bitter frown.

"Alright. Whatever, man. Sorry for trying to make you feel better!"

"You don't have to be all mushy or whatever. It's not like I'm some chick," Ian spat out.

"Ugh. See if I ever try to help you out with your damn problems, then."

Ian heard the bed springs ease up from Anthony's weight and listened to him pick up his backpack. Before Anthony fully walked out though, Ian turned halfway. "We'll finish the video later," he muttered, but his voice cracked at the last syllable and he bit his lip.

"Yeah." Anthony flatly replied as he walked out the door.

Ian watched his friend start his car and drive away through the window and uncrossed his arms which he just noticed he had been doing almost the entire time and sighed again.

This sigh, unlike all the other ones, wasn't out of anger this time.

It was out of regret.

Ian, you're such an idiot.