Chapter 3

Back to School

I felt so much pain as they lowered the professor into the ground, and it felt weird knowing he'd never lecture me or hug me again. It was even odder to see all the other professors here dressed in all black. Those weren't even the weirdest thing. The weird thing was that Dunstan wasn't the only one there trying to soothe my sobs. Ronin was there too. He was looking like a tall, handsome but grim protector the way he was standing next to me. None of my pokémon seemed to care that he was so close; they even made room in the swarm of my pokémon friends for him.

I couldn't comprehend why comforting me was so important to this boy but I kept my promise of trying to be friends with him and let him wrap his arms around me when the pain of losing my father-figure was too much. This always earned him a sniff from a few of my pokémon.

It was so awkward for me and yet it was so natural for him. I was jealous at one point. Jealous that this came for easily for Ronin, the he could just walk up to someone and talk to them for hours. I couldn't do that. I'd freak out about them trying to hurt me or my pokémon.

By the end of the service, I was sure the mascara I'd worn was a very bad idea on Molly's part. She'd come into my room this morning to check if I was alright and proceeded to make me wear eyeliner and mascara. I was skeptical, but remember that I was trying to make friends now so I allowed the woman to help me. I didn't like how they made my eyes stand out even more.

"Zana, I want you to know that I'm here if you ever need anything." Professor Juniper stood in front of me and I was hoping she couldn't see the mascara stains on my face because of the veil I'd worn. I knew it was a useless thought. From the way people were looking at me, I could tell they saw the tracks on my face.

One by one, the others all lined up telling me the same thing. They were only a phone call away, they were here for me, and if I needed anything, just ask. I wanted to trust this, to trust their words but I couldn't exactly do that. I knew I should, they were the professors of our world. I certainly couldn't trust the many researchers that I barely knew. Actually, I only knew the names of a few of them.

People dispersed slowly after the service and after a while, only Dunstan, Ronin and I were still there. The pokémon were tired and I began to feel selfish by keeping them here so I stood from the stone bench. The walk back to the sanctuary was brief but it seemed like I was leaving the professor behind, leaving him alone.

I clenched my fists when I thought about who put Professor Rowan there. Ghetsis and Jupiter would pay. They had to. Flygon sensed my anger and wrapped her tail around my shoulders to calm me. It worked quickly; her warmth soothed me into a calm state again. The sanctuary felt cold though. The pokémon weren't playing or doing their normal routines at all. They were just sitting, looking probably similar to what I looked like.

I flinched away from Ronin without thinking and I instantly regretted it when he pulled his hand back with a pained look on his face. The regret I felt confused me. Just three days ago, I had wanted nothing more than for him to leave me alone. Now, I wanted to be close to him. Dunstan had affected me with his words. I didn't want to be alone in the world.

"I'm sorry." I whispered. We'd only talked, and I knew he tried to make me smile constantly. I couldn't smile, though. I didn't trust him even when I wanted to and the circumstances weren't right. In a way, I was apologizing for all of this. I was apologizing for flinching away, and for only smiling around the pokémon.

"It's okay. I understand." He said, making sure there was distance between us. Another painful reminder that I just couldn't make friends as easily as Dunstan thought I could.

"I'm trying." I said below a whisper, so nobody could hear. He glanced at me, and for a moment, I thought he had heard me.

We split up at the sanctuary and I went to my room to pack my bag and clean myself up. I was headed back to the college the next day. I was going to try to slip out before anyone woke up so I wouldn't have to say my goodbyes and because I didn't want Ronin to come. He didn't want school; he'd be bored to death there. My team was in my room, already snuggling in for the night. The rooms here were huge just for that reason. Every room was about two or three times bigger than they would be in another home, so that the larger pokémon could fit.

A knock on my door made my luxray perk up from the fluffy chair he had claimed years ago. He barely fit in it now, but still stayed there. A small smile found its way onto my face at the sight.

I opened the door slightly to see who was there. I tried to get the professor to install a peep-hole but it went against his get-Zana-to-trust plans.

Ronin stood patiently outside while I thought about letting him in. I decided to step outside with him so my pokémon weren't disturbed.

"I just wanted to tell you goodnight, and I'll see you at 7 a.m." He smiled a crooked grin.

"Well, goodnight." I said tersely, looking everywhere but him. I didn't understand why anyone would come just to say that. What was the use?

"See ya." He bowed his head playfully, but I just nodded and slipped back into my room. He was so weird. I decided he'd been checking to see if I was still here. There couldn't have been another reason to just show up.

So, I decided, we'd leave at 6. I looked at the clock. It was only 8, but I would have to wake up early. I set my alarm for 5:30 a.m. before I changed into flannel shorts and a tank top slowly, letting my body unwind. I slipped into my usual dreamless sleep quickly.

I woke with a start from the sound of the alarm and pushed it quickly. My pokémon stirred while I made my bed back up and I called all of them into their balls. There was no way any of them could keep quiet enough to get out of the building unnoticed. As I got dressed, I remembered that everyone knew where my college was. It would be easy to just come there when he figured I wasn't here anymore. I groaned in frustration and jerked my bluish purple jacket on over my black t-shirt.

I would still try, though. I didn't want a babysitter even if it was someone I was trying to be friends with. I highly doubted I would be able to trust him knowing he was sent to watch me. I successfully slinked out of the building, though it wasn't hard. I didn't usually make much noise. I saw no sign of Ronin around and I felt bad for a second.

He trusted me enough to believe I wouldn't leave without him. Trust was a huge thing, obviously. How could he be a successful trainer when he was so trusting?

I waited until I was out of town before calling out flygon to fly us to school. As we were zooming away at the speed that only a flygon could get to, I could have sworn I saw someone sitting on top of the large dome, though at those speeds, I couldn't be sure.

"Welcome back to school, Ms Rowan." The gate's guard slid my student card through a scanner and the wrought iron gates slowly slid into the brick, allowing me into the courtyard.

"Thank you." I whispered and briefly considered telling him not to let Ronin in but his next words stopped me.

"Where is your company? A Professor Dunstan Eventide called and said due to the loss of your father, which I'm deeply sorry for, you would have someone accompany you to school just in case something happened." He tipped his hat up slightly as he spoke.

"He may be here later." If he decided to come even after I gave him the slip. I felt bad for what I'd done again, but I decided I didn't care. I would call him and apologize later. Perhaps I could even still try to be friends. I didn't know.

"I'll keep a look out. His name?" He got out a clipboard from in the small gate office.

"Ronin Eventide." I considered giving him a fake name, but that just wasn't right.

"I'll show him to your townhouse." I nodded and thanked the security guard.

The sight of the row of private townhouses was a welcome sight. They were only available to juniors and seniors here and even they had to work extra for them. I found the privacy worth it. I released my pokémon from their balls as I stepped into the door and dropped my bag next to the door. On the floor in front of the mail slot was a pile of letters. Each one was a letter from my teachers and other people in my life, with their condolences written on their personal stationary. I read all 12 of them, 10 being my teachers and the other two were from the people I worked for at the school's library.

Along with their letters included packets of the transcripts of every lecture and homework assignment I had missed and I quickly immersed myself in the work, desperate to distract from myself until I either went to class, or the dreaded knock on the door came.

Unsurprisingly, I finished all my work in a few hours. I looked at my grandfather clock and decided it was a good time to eat breakfast. I made up food for my pokémon first, making sure they had enough, before even getting out the ingredients to my simple breakfast.

I wished I hadn't finished all my work so quickly. It's just, I studied a head a lot and I'd already known what I went over in my classes. My heart pounded wildly when three sharp raps came from the front door. My pokémon jumped up from wherever they happened to be at the moment.

I knew my private time had come to an end, but I also knew it had no chance of survival.

When I opened my door, a very disgruntled Ronin stood on my step. I sighed and stepped aside, allowing him in.

"I have an extra room for you. They're meant for a roommate but I didn't want one." I walked away, hoping to not see the pain of betrayal in his eyes.

"You left." He gritted out and tossed his bag on the chair.

"Yes." I didn't deny it or try to defend my reasoning. What was the use?

"I'm here to stay, you know. I've been told to keep you safe, and I will." The determination in his voice made me shiver. I didn't want him to waste his life protecting me.

"I don't need a protector, Ronin. I'm perfectly fine, if you hadn't noticed." I rested my arm around ninetails.

"Something could happen. Ever since the professor enrolled you in school, I have tried to be your friend. I yelled at my best friends for talking about you badly. So, in a way, I've already been protecting you."

"I didn't need you to protect me then and I don't now, but I'm trying to change my ways. I had a relapse, I guess." I tugged at my braid. "You can stay, but don't feel like you have to follow me to class."

I tried to smile at him, to get him to forgive me but he didn't smile back at my failed attempt. I knew I'd made a mistake, but I also knew I really didn't need Ronin here.