CHAPTER 3

I tried to get him to come back to bed, I really did. I mean, how hard could it be to get a horny teenage boy to get in bed with you when you were dressed in a skimpy camisole and a pair of silky pajama pants? Impossible, evidently. No matter what I said, he stubbornly refused to even sit on the bed. I was glad Charlie had decided to spend the night at Sue's or he'd have heard us arguing long into the night.

I was exhausted, and finally fell into a fitful sleep full of dreams of wolves abandoning me in the rainy green forest and black water sucking me down. Jake sat in my old rocking chair, staring moodily out the window, sighing periodically but never leaving his post. It gave me a small measure of comfort that he, at least, didn't abandon me.

In the morning, I felt groggy and sick. My head pounded and my heart was sore, more sore than it had ever been, because it was back. It was there, not missing as it felt like it had been for so many months. It was back, but it was broken.

Charlie was back early, and both Jake and I startled when we heard the cruiser crunching into the drive. Jake looked over at me. It seemed he'd finally fallen asleep, too, though he looked like death warmed over. The boy needed sleep, and I'd deprived him of that too.

I sat up, rubbing my eyes sleepily. He smiled. Were my eyes playing tricks on me? "You're all bed-headed," he said. My hand flew to my hair. The braid had come undone and it swirled around my shoulders, wavy and wild. I tried self-consciously to smooth it down but he made a small noise of protest.

"Leave it," he said. "It's cute."

I looked up at him cautiously. Had I been forgiven overnight? Was he willing to try again? I got my answer when he walked over and bent to kiss me softly on the cheek. "Sorry about last night, Bells. I was just…upset."

His tone brought tears to my eyes, though I thought I'd cried them all out the night before. "I'm so sorry about everything, Jake, Really, I…" He put a finger over my lips.

"Shh," he said. "It's okay. Be quiet now. Lay down and pretend you're asleep so I can deal with Charlie."

There he went again, giving me what I needed. The grogginess and headache disappeared as if by magic, and my sore heart warmed. Obediently, I lay down and covered up, closing my eyes as I heard Charlie's tread on the stairs. Jake opened my bedroom door just as Charlie reached the top step.

"What the…?" I heard Charlie's startled, angry question before Jake shushed him and closed the door softly behind him. I could still hear their muffled conversation through the door.

"What the hell do you think you're doing here, Black?"

"Charlie. She was inconsolable last night. I thought she was going to lose it," Jake said, completely forgetting the fact that he'd sworn to me he was no liar. What he said was technically true, but not for the reasons he was implying. "I had to stay. I was really worried about her, and I didn't want to call you, y'know, with Harry and all."

At the mention of Harry's name, I heard Charlie sigh heavily. "Yeah, what a thing, huh?" he said sadly. Then he seemed to gather himself. "So what…you stayed here all night? In her room?" I could tell Charlie didn't like the situation one bit, but he wanted to believe that Jake and I hadn't actually done anything.

"Shit, Charlie! Is that the kinda guy you think I am?" Jake was indignant. "You think I'd take advantage of Bella like that? The girl was beside herself! She was at our place when Sam brought Billy back from the hospital, and Billy was really upset. Bella took it hard. She didn't want to make you come home because she thought Sue needed you, and honestly, I didn't want to leave her alone here. I sat up in the rocking chair all night. She finally fell asleep around three or so. Poor kid, even once she was asleep she couldn't settle down. Talked all night."

My stomach clutched when I heard that. Was Jake still stretching the truth, or was this the real story? Had I been talking in my sleep all night? Had he heard embarrassing things, like me declaring my love for him, as I had with Edward so many times while I'd been asleep? Maybe this was the answer to the question of him forgiving me so quickly.

"Ah, that girl can't shut up when she's asleep," said Charlie ruefully. "Been like that since she was little. And when that Cullen son of a …" Charlie checked himself. "When that guy left her, all she did for months was scream in her sleep. That didn't stop until she started hanging out with you, Jake. Now I don't mind if what you're telling me is true and she really needed your company last night. But this isn't something I'd approve of under normal circumstances. And I don't want you spending the night here again, you understand me?" He was Chief Swan now, his cop voice out in full force. A brave man, Charlie. Jake stood well over a foot taller than him and had about fifty pounds of muscle on my dad, but Charlie wasn't afraid to read him the riot act.

"I know, Charlie, I know." Jake was contrite. "This isn't something that'll become a habit, believe me. I'm beat. That chair sucks when it comes to sleeping."

Charlie sighed again, then he seemed to make some sort of questioning noise. "What the hell? Are those my pants, Black?"

Jacob seemed at a loss momentarily, and then he answered, "Uhh, yeah, sorry about that. Bells gave 'em to me. I took a shower when we got in last night, and my stuff was all muddy from the rain."

There was a pause. "Last time," I heard Charlie say menacingly, and I could picture him pointing his finger in Jake's face as he said it.

"Noted," answered Jake. Charlie continued down the hall to his room, and I breathed a sigh of relief. The door opened silently and Jake crept back in.

"Whew!" he said theatrically, running his hand across his forehead as if to wipe off flop sweat. "I thought for a second there that we were toast."

I smiled up at him with a little giggle. "He was putty in your hands," I teased.

"Yeah, well, he's pretty broke up about Harry or I don't think we'd've gotten away with it," said Jake. He looked at me. "By the way, you know I'm gonna have to make an appearance at that wake and funeral."

"I know," I said. "I'll be fine here."

"No, you'll go with me. There's no way I'm leaving you here alone with the redhead still on the loose. You'll be on the res with me. It's the safest place for you."

"I don't want to go," I said, thinking of how devastated Harry's family would be. Leah and Seth were both near my age. It hit too close to home.

"Bells, no one in their right mind goes to wakes and funerals because they want to. You go to show your respect for the person who died and the people they left behind. You're going because it's the right thing to do, and because I'm going. We won't stay at the wake long. The place will be crowded anyhow. We can make a quick appearance and leave. Sue knows about the pack now, with Seth and Leah phasing. She'll know the pack won't be able to stay long."

Jake was right. I'd go out of respect for Harry and his family, and for Charlie too. "Do you think Sam will let you stay with me?" I asked apprehensively.

He seemed to share my worry. "I don't know," he said uncertainly. "I hope so. But we need every member to get that redhead; that much I do know. Don't worry, Charlie will be at Sue's. You can stay there if you want, or you can hang out at my place."

I sighed. Neither option sounded good to me. I'd feel like a third wheel no matter where I was, but it seemed I had no choice. "I guess we should go downstairs. If Charlie hears us chatting away in here, we're dead meat," I said. I rose from the bed and took my terrycloth robe off its hook in the closet, putting it on. I didn't miss Jake's appreciative look at my boobs when he thought I wasn't looking.

"Keep your eyes to yourself," I said with a little smile, adjusting the robe around me. His cheeks turned pink.

"Oh, please," he said to cover his embarrassment. "Remember, I have a fan club." He grabbed my hand as we walked down the stairs.

Breakfast was subdued. Charlie was quiet and pensive, and Jake and I didn't feel comfortable talking when he felt so bad. I made bacon, eggs, orange juice, and coffee, and Jake heaped food on his plate. For the first time that morning, I saw Charlie smile.

"Jacob, leave some for the rest of us," he said, chuckling.

"Sorry, I'm starved," Jake answered around a mouthful of bacon.

"Make some toast or something, Bella. This kid is gonna eat us out of house and home," Charlie said, and I popped some bread in the toaster. I remembered a package of muffins I had in one of the cabinets, so I put them on a plate in front of Jacob. All eight were gone before the toast was buttered. Charlie shook his head.

"You La Push boys can sure eat," he commented, and then he was silent. The rest of the meal was punctuated by Jake crunching the toast and bacon and gulping the OJ.

We worked out the time of the wake and when we'd go, and Charlie told Jake he'd pick up Billy to save him the trouble. Jake mentioned that he'd be going with Sam and the rest of the "guys."

"That'll mean a lot to Sue and the kids," Charlie commented. "What time were you planning on getting there?"

"I'll have to talk to Sam first," Jacob answered.

Charlie excused himself to shower. While I washed the breakfast dishes, Jake dried them and put them away. Once again I was reminded of his virile presence as he stood next to me, shirtless, his pecs and biceps bunching and straining under his copper skin as he moved. For a second I stared at him, mesmerized. His chuckle snapped me out of it.

"What did you tell me upstairs? Keep your eyes to yourself?" he teased me, grinning. Now it was my turn to blush. "Seriously, I can totally get you into my fan club. You sure you don't want to join?"

"Funny, Jake," I said sarcastically, swinging the wet dishrag at him. The suds trailed down his stomach, dribbling through the divots in his six-pack and sliding down the cut lines on his hips. A sinewy path of black curly hair trailed from his navel down into the waistband of his pants. I gulped as I pulled my eyes away, conspicuous and mortified.

He was almost as embarrassed as I was, and cleared his throat as he turned away. But now I had a front-seat view of his amazing ass, only the thin sweats hanging off his hips. I took a deep breath and studiously looked away.

"I gotta call Sam," he mumbled, going toward the phone.

"Okay," I said, my voice shaky. I finished up the dishes and tidied the kitchen, then went upstairs as I heard him talking in low tones on the phone. I wanted another shower and needed to pick out clothes for the wake and funeral. Luckily, I had a nice pair of black pants I could wear to the funeral. A satiny white blouse and a pair of dressy black flats would go with them. But what to wear to the wake? I had the khaki skirt I used for most of my special occasions, so I decided that would have to do. A soft green sweater and a pair of brown boots would look fine. Once I had my clothes ready, I gathered my bathroom stuff and took a quick shower, then dressed for the wake though it was much too early. I figured I could take my time making a nice dinner so it would be ready when we got back from the wake later.

Jake stuck his head in my room and asked if I was ready. "Yeah, is this okay?" I asked, turning so he could see my outfit.

"You look really nice, Bells," he said. "We have to go now."

"Already?" I asked. "It's not even eleven o'clock!"

"Yeah, I talked to Paul. We have to get back. I'm gonna have to leave you at Sue's or my place. We'll have to steer clear of the beach. They're pretty sure she's hiding in the water."

I really didn't want to spend the day at either the Black's or the Clearwater's houses, but it didn't look like I had much of a choice. I yelled to Charlie, "We're leaving, Dad! See you later!"

He poked his head out of his bedroom door. "Already?" he asked.

"Jake has to get home, so I'm going with him," I said. "We'll probably catch you at the wake."

"Guess I'll talk to you later, then," he mumbled, disappearing.

Together Jacob and I went out to the truck. I was dying to ask him what he'd heard me say in my sleep last night, and I was looking forward to getting him alone, without Charlie in earshot. So as soon as he pulled onto the highway, I started trying to joke it out of him. However, he wasn't biting.

"So, why the sudden switch this morning?" I asked. "You didn't want anything to do with me last night and now everything is okay again. What's up with that?" I kept my tone light.

He pretended he didn't know what I was talking about. "Whaddya mean, I didn't want anything to do with you? I stayed with you all night!" he protested.

"Yeah, but I'm talking about before. When we were in the bed," I said.

He looked at me sideways. "When I was the big spoon?" he asked with a little grin.

I laughed unwillingly. "Yeah. When you got mad and almost left. I mean, I thought you were so pissed at me that you'd leave first thing in the morning. So what happened to change your mind?"

"Bells, I just couldn't stay in that bed with you after…after what you said."

"What I said about what?" I asked, starting to get embarrassed all over again. "About being a virgin?"

He hesitated. "Partly," he answered reluctantly.

"What's the other part?" I asked.

"Bells, really? Come on, we don't want to start this again," he said, his tone pleading.

"I just want to know why you changed your mind about me so fast. And I heard what you were saying to Charlie when he got home. Did I talk in my sleep, Jake?"

A slight flush came over his face and he ducked his head, so I knew I'd hit on something. "I did, didn't I?" I said. "Please tell me what I said."

Now his tone became jovial. "Oh, you had a lot to say. You were really chatty," he laughed.

"Come on, Jake, that's not fair! Tell me," I pleaded.

The levity left his face and he was suddenly the stranger, the man I associated with Sam and the pack and not the boy who brought me sunshine in my dark days. "I'll tell you something you said before you went to sleep," he said roughly. "You said you were afraid of me. And then, practically at the same time, you say that bloodsucker could have killed you by trying to love you. That's messed up Bells. Big time. I don't really know what to think after that."

I was silent for a moment, digesting this. "But you forgave me, right?" I asked, confused.

He gave a tortured sigh, but then his face changed, as if he were thinking of something pleasant. A little smile touched his lips and my Jake was back. "Yeah, Bells. You're forgiven," he said.

"So the question is why?" I asked, frustrated.

He looked over at me, taking his eyes off the road for a second. "Because I forgive you, okay? That's the only reason I have."

I knew it wasn't the only reason he had. But I settled for it. For now.