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Title: Synchronization
Author: liketolaugh
Rating: T
Pairings: None
Genre: Friendship/Family
Warnings: Slight AU
Summary: Innocences have their own wants, personalities, souls - Allen doesn't understand what's so strange about this. But then, he's always been able to see them. (Series of oneshots through the manga. Mostly canon-compliant. Maybe eventually turn AU.)
Disclaimer: I only wish I owned D. Gray-man.
Sorrow.
The resonation was enough to make Allen lift his heavy eyelids and let his gaze fall on the Innocence, a little green cube sitting inches from his face.
Regret.
He reached. His left arm shook slightly with the effort, but he was going to get that Innocence back to Lala.
Worry.
Crown Clown, like Allen, was shaken and exhausted, but he was still hovering over his accommodator, concern lining his face.
"Just one more time," Allen rasped. "I want… to hear… Lala." Even talking was exhausting.
Crown Clown studied his face for a long moment before he nodded and withdrew, still keeping a careful eye on Allen. Allen dragged himself to his feet and, ignoring another look from Mugen, who sat by Kanda, stumbled over to where Lala and Guzol were both limp on the ground.
Opening Lala back up and replacing the Innocence earned him a soft brush of gratitude, and he could almost hear the whirring as the Innocence - Heaven Melody - worked to bring Lala back to life. He backed away to collapse on the stairs, miserable and burnt out in equal measures.
He felt Crown Clown sit beside him, a warm, comforting presence as always, and listened as Lala dragged herself across the floor and spoke to Guzol in soft, mechanical tones - the brief period of separation had been too much for Heaven Melody to easily remedy, apparently. He wondered what she looked like.
Crown Clown was silent, but his arm was around Allen's shoulders, and he didn't try to move him as Allen sat there, motionless, listening to Lala's last song. Mugen sat on his other side, a little farther away, head tipped back, glowering at the sky.
It was nighttime when Kanda finally approached, striding along evenly.
"Sleeping?" Kanda asked him, voice sardonic but not caustic. "Better keep a close eye on that doll."
"Heaven Melody won't leave," Allen said softly, without looking up. She'd promised. He felt Mugen stir and cross to his accommodator, silent and steady. "Are you okay?"
"I heal quicker than most people," Kanda answered shortly.
Allen was too tired to argue with Kanda, and he was only half paying attention as he conversed with the older exorcist. The rest was on listening with his mind, feeling the soft tones Heaven Melody intertwined with her song, the ones Kanda couldn't hear.
It was a shame, really. It was beautiful. Sad, but beautiful.
"It's not even really Lala anymore," Kanda told him.
That wasn't strictly true. "It's still the same Innocence," Allen replied.
"The Innocence doesn't care."
Allen glanced up, faintly startled. "...You think Heaven Melody doesn't care?" he asked. Kanda half-turned to give him a strange, suspicious look.
"Of course not." And then, "...Heaven Melody? Beansprout, what the fuck?"
Allen tilted his head slightly in confusion (did Kanda not know the Innocence's name?) and Kanda shook his head in disgust and turned away again, unable to feel Mugen's reassuring hand on his back. Allen sighed and slumped down again.
"Too damn soft," Kanda muttered. "Beansprout, get your head out of your ass. Innocence isn't nice. Exorcists don't save. All of it, all of us, we're just meant to destroy."
Sadness. Disappointment. Regret.
Mugen sighed, and Allen couldn't see the look he was giving Kanda, and he probably didn't want to, either. Crown Clown squeezed his shoulder gently, and Allen curled up a little tighter.
Consolation. Concern.
Allen shrugged and, as the last threads of Lala's song faded away, he sat up. "I don't think I agree," he said politely to Kanda, who was still scowling bitterly at the ground.
And then he turned and walked back to the room. Heaven Melody was done.
For a moment, he stood there, watching the motionless, broken doll over Guzol's cooling body.
Gratitude.
For a moment, Allen could see Heaven Melody, a ghost of a little teenage girl with blonde pigtails, who gave him a small, soft smile and a short bow before she faded away again.
Allen had felt Heaven Melody as soon as they found Lala and Guzol, though the Innocence had been just as determined not to divulge her true location as Lala and Guzol had been, even with the insistence of Crown Clown and Mugen. He'd barely learned her name, so reticent was she.
He smiled softly and stepped closer to the doll. He started slightly as the doll spoke; it seemed Heaven Melody was not quite satisfied yet.
"Thank you," she whispered. Not for the first time, he wondered how difficult it had been for the mute Innocence to learn words. "For letting me sing until I broke down. You helped me keep my promise…"
As the doll finally broke down and collapsed, her voice deepened robotically and broke as well, and Allen caught her and stared for a moment longer, eyes solemn.
"You're welcome," he said at last, quiet. "Heaven Melody."
And tears finally sprang to his eyes, trickling down his face, breath hitching. He was sorry, he was really sorry, and he wished he'd been able to save them. To help them more than this.
"Hey. What's wrong with you?"
Allen sniffled and reached up to wipe the tears away. "Kanda," he choked out, not sure why he wanted so badly for Kanda to understand this, but needing to tell him. "Innocence isn't just a weapon, and an accommodator isn't just a destroyer. We can save things, too." They could.
Assurance. Pride.
Crown Clown had never just been a weapon. For the longest time, he'd been Allen's world.
Was it… was it not like that for the other exorcists?
Instead of putting her in his bag, Allen held Heaven Melody cradled in his hands. Crown Clown sat comfortably beside him, watching the other Innocence but with most of his attention on Allen.
Allen was content to listen while the two Innocences spoke. He watched the scenery outside instead, passing by the train window.
Reassurance. Hevlaska and her nest of Innocences.
Apprehension and derision.
Amusement. Encouragement.
Irritation.
Allen chuckled softly and then went back to thinking.
The Order was… interesting. He actually surprised himself with how much he liked some of the people there, and it was nice to be around so many Innocences.
He hadn't spent much time around the Science Department, but between the one time and Kanda, he wondered how much the Order really knew about their weapons. He understood that no one else could see them, hear them, just like he understood that no one else could see or hear akuma, but… it just seemed so obvious.
Innocences were just as much people as humans were. One of the first things you did when you met a human was learn their name. Why not an Innocence? Why not learn what they like, how they act, what they want...
Master had never mentioned this. Maybe he thought he hadn't needed to, or maybe he thought that Allen needed to learn for himself.
?
Allen started at Crown Clown's concerned inquiry and glanced over with a reassuring smile. "It's nothing."
Crown Clown studied him suspiciously for a moment, and then sighed and looked back at Heaven Melody.
...Had they at least figured out that Innocences were people? Maybe they just didn't have a way of communicating with them.
Allen sighed and looked out the window. Well, he'd sooner keep his secrets than satisfy his curiosity. Perhaps he'd learn someday, but today, he'd stay quiet.
Yes, I realize I just said yesterday that this would update on Sundays, but today is an exception. It's my birthday today, and I decided I wanted reviews, so I updated a whole bunch of stuff! *grin* So review? Please?