My! We are progressing quite nicely here, Hermione would be so proud of all of you, you're learning the lessons brilliantly. Pretty soon you'll be writing your own guides.

Well, today, we are learning the third word. This one is vital to every man's understanding. It is a dreaded word, and one that almost always means pain and hours of miscommunication, or no communication. I personally think it should be put on the list of curse words not allowed in polite company.

Nothing:

This is another case of the word they say meaning the opposite of what they are really thinking. This words most definitely means something and you should be on your toes with your wand out ready to yell 'Protego.' when it is used. "Nothing" is usually used when she wants to describe the feeling she has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards with a few fancy waves of her wand. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine". And when it ends, you will usually be in far worse condition than when it started. You might also be a few appendages short- if you get my drift.

"Hermione!" I called out, entering the flat with a grin. I'd had a good day at the shop, and I was extremely happy about it. I was in a brilliant mood, and more than eager to say hello to my little wifey. The flat was clean and I could smell something cooking so it seemed like my good day was going to continue into being a good night.

That was my first mistake, I dropped my guard and because of that, I missed the warning signs.

I shook off my magenta robes and tossed them onto the robe stand by the door. If I had looked over I would have realized I missed my target and seen my robes crumple to the ground.

In case you haven't noticed from lesson one, birds take the state clothes are in extremely personally. If you learn nothing (the dreaded word!) else, then learn this. Do. Not. Toss. Any. Article. Of. Clothing. Anywhere. But. The. Drawer. Or. The. Dirty. Laundry. Bin.

Yes, don't ever toss clothes, keep them on or hide them somewhere your girl won't find them if you don't want to put them were they 'belong.'

"Hey, Fred…" Her voice trailed off as she reached me. I wrapped my arms around her in a warm hug and pressed a kiss to her lips. She pulled back too quickly, and I knew something wasn't quite right.

"How was your day?" She asked after a moment. I grinned again, trying to gage what was wrong with her. I couldn't see anything visibly wrong, and I didn't see anything in the flat to suggest a problem.

"My day was great. The Gabbing Gum went over without a hitch. George tested it out in front of everyone and we had them test out spells on him to try and silence him. Nothing worked-it was utterly brilliant." I made my way over to our kitchen counter and checked out the days owl post. Nothing but bills, of course.

"How was your day? The flat looks smashing by the way." (That's another hint for you blokes, always complement the house if your bird has cleaned it. And look to see if she has, it's hell if you don't notice.)

"Mine was just fine. The Minister agreed to look over my Legislation for the House Elves." She said making her way to the counter beside me.

"That's brilliant, Hermione!" I exclaimed, excited for her success. She shrugged her shoulders and shook her head.

"Not really, he'd already agreed to do it anyway." I stepped nearer her and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"It is brilliant, love. It'll pass." She made her way into the kitchen and started plating up our dinner.

Second mistake I made. I should have asked her what was wrong, however, the smell from dinner was incredible and it distracted me. Birds, that should be a tip for you. Never discuss something serious with us when we're waiting for our dinner. We tend to zone everything else but our food out.

We sat down at the table and began to eat. I did most of the talking, because she was still upset. I finally got the hint and set my fork down.

"What's wrong, Hermione?" I asked, leaning forward slightly so I could look at her more closely. She shook her head and gave me a smile, a fake one but a smile. I didn't miss the way it didn't quite reach her eyes either.

"I'm fine." (Lesson one guys)

"Are you sure? You look up set."

"It's nothing." That set off the red alert. It was obvious she was lying, but I wasn't sure why.

"What did I do?"

"Nothing." She said more fiercely.

I leaned back and looked around the apartment, attempting to figure out what I'd done wrong.

"I told you it was nothing." She snapped.

"I don't believe you. Something's obviously wrong." Her hand twitched towards her wand and I knew I was in trouble. "Please just tell me what it was I did wrong." I hastened to add, my eyes now frantically scanning the flat.

"If you can't figure it out then you don't deserve to know." I didn't have to answer that remark because I finally saw the bloody robe I dropped. I jumped up from the table and crossed the flat in five steps. I picked up the robe and placed it on the robe rack before turning back towards her and giving her an apologetic smile. She glared at me for a moment before her gaze softened.

"Thank you." She whispered softly.

A/N: I'm still loving your reviews, they're still making me laugh really hard. Keep letting me know if you have any thing you'd like to see me do, I've gotten some good suggestions.

Thanks, and don't forget to leave a review.

Wizards_Pupil