All because I want to see more interaction between them. I'll try to post the last part of this as soon as I can, especially since I'm on break at the moment. Also, I apologise for any errors I've made because I'm sick and I honestly can't be bothered to read this right now. Please review so I can get some feedback on this, cool cool.
Disclaimer: I don't own Scorpion in any way, shape or form.
She squished her hands between her thighs as she waited for the waitress to bring their food over to the tiny booth in the corner of the diner. It was a spot hidden from prying eyes and just being there made her feel as if all the problems which plagued her life were dust particles floating around in the air.
"Do you wanna hear a joke?"
She made a face at her father and a smile bloomed on his face. It felt so new, so different, to know that she really did matter to the man who owned the red truck with the dented fender. She smiled back despite herself and it urged him to continue.
"I had a dream I was a muffler last night." She could feel the corny punchline coming but she continued to smile at him all the same. He looked so contented having her around, as if his dad jokes could make the past 27 years alright; and momentarily, the hypothesis seemed to be correct.
"I woke up exhausted."
She hid her mouth behind her hands, trying hard to hide the even larger smile that was creeping up onto her face. He laughed while shaking his head at his attempt at making her laugh and all he could think about was how he never imagined that being around his daughter would feel as terrific as it did then.
From where she was sitting, she could see the waitress approaching with their food and she set her hands back down on the table in front of her. When her double cheeseburger, fries and Pepsi were set in front of her, she couldn't help but feel the tad bit of excitement she always did around large portions of food.
Her dad laughed once more at the sight of her shoving three fries into her mouth. She smiled, not shyly, after swallowing and returned to her food. It was comfortable, being around him like that. She thought it would be terrifying at first, but it felt a lot like home from where she was sitting.
"You always used to have a big appetite."
His reminiscent words made her look up from her food and she watched him take a bite of his grilled cheese sandwich. The smile no longer appeared on her lips but he could still find traces of it in her eyes, like raindrops on a car window.
She put her half-eaten cheeseburger down and looked at her hands on her lap, suddenly getting slightly shy. She was sure that he was observing her but it took time for her brain to figure out the words that needed to come out. Like she'd told Toby, it was hard just saying things straight.
"Can I ask you something?"
He made a gesture while chewing, as if saying, "Shoot." A sigh escaped her lips and it took her a moment to figure out what exactly she wanted to say. There were so many questions floating around in her head but it was getting increasingly difficult to piece them together into actual sentences.
"Do you remember that time during Christmas Eve when…" The question trailed off and he nodded, an encouraging smile appearing across his face, urging her on gently. "I know it must have been terrifying for you to tell me all of that. Hell, I was terrified just hearing it."
She laughed nonchalantly and she began to toy with the fries on her plate. "How did you just decide to take that risk," Asking him scared her to death but at the same time, it felt so right just asking him for advice. "Knowing full well that you might lose me?"
A silence aired over them as he gave his answer a bit of thought. She listened to the cook calling for a waitress and the woman in the booth beside them crying to her best friend about how her boyfriend had cheated on her. It was the closest thing to peaceful that she could get at that very moment.
"Well," He began, a hand running over his beard. "I wasn't sure if you were angry or scared or what. I walked into that situation pretty blindly but I thought to myself, 'If I don't tell my daughter now that I've never stopped loving her, then there's a good chance that I may never have the courage to tell her that.'"
She swallowed thoughtfully and he continued. "I was scared that my track record of being the absent father was too much," He pursed his lips as if apologizing once again for what he had done to her. "But I didn't want to be afraid of becoming the father that you need; not anymore."
She expected for the words he said to be too much for her to handle. She expected that she would want to run away or just end the conversation with a sarcastic comment; but she didn't do it. She had become a wave crashing onto the shore, finding its purpose and peace in the intensity.
She felt the question building up inside of her but she was finding it increasingly more difficult to voice it out loud. What set the two of them apart was the fact that he knew how to be human and she didn't. He was watching her take a new set of baby steps: towards being okay again.
"I need you tell me how to stop," The words came out in a rush and he had to learn forward slightly to hear her better. "Being so damn afraid of getting close to everyone around me. There are risks I'm willing to make that I can't take the first step towards and I'm sick of it."
"Where's all of this coming from?"
She bit her lip and laced her fingers together while trying to think of what to say. Every cell in her body screamed at her to be honest about the whole situation but it seemed so odd to say it out loud. It seemed as if the mere fact that he was her father made the entire topic slightly taboo.
"It's about a guy."
"Oh." His eyes widened slightly and she almost found it amusing. He nodded again, thoughtfully this time, while staring at his daughter. She wondered for a moment how it felt for him to see his child all grown up and ready to talk about such things. "Oh."
"It's just that I don't understand how any of this works." She said, her brows furrowing together slightly. The words brought him back down to earth. "I never expected any of this to happen and if either of us makes one wrong move, I'm going to regret this for the rest of my life and I don't think I can take that."
He thought for a moment with his lips pursed together tightly. The look he got when a crazy idea somehow reminded her of the face she was whenever she looked in the mirror. It was oddly comforting to see a resemblance of features, almost as if reassuring her that this was the man she'd been looking for.
"Your mom," He began and she tensed instantly. They had never talked about her before, not counting that one small mention he made at Christmas Eve. It seemed to be far too sensitive a topic for them to talk about regularly. "She was amazing, beautiful, and intelligent too. I couldn't deal with it when she…"
There was a silence between them once again and she turned his words over in her head. In the back of her mind, she imagined the woman she'd seen in the pictures do the most mundane of things: doing the dishes, walking around the town, holding her father's hand. It didn't fill the void that she'd left inside her but it was a start.
"The only thing I will ever regret, though, is leaving you at that orphanage." The tone of his voice was melancholy and he couldn't bring himself to look at her. "If I had a chance to do it all again, I would still support your mother's decision even after the doctor told us she could die. We both loved—love you too much."
It was forty five minutes to midnight but she felt more awake than she had all day. She was far too bad with words to know what to say next so she sat there waiting, anticipating the words that would flow from her father's mouth. She stared at the cheeseburger on her plate and let him collect himself.
"I don't want you to make that mistake. I don't want you making decisions just 'cause you're scared or because you think what you have is good enough. If you never even move the wrench, don't expect the bolt to ever tighten."
She smiled a bit at his metaphor and found the heart to take a bite of her food again. All she could remember was the Doc's advice months before about how living a life scared to connect to anyone wasn't a way to live. She thought of the risks he had made with her and how it was high time that she made some too.
"Now, it's my turn to ask a question."
The words were unexpected but she made a gesture, telling him to go on with it.
"This guy you're talking about, he's the one who helped me save you, isn't he?"
She felt almost ashamed at how easy it was to read her in that moment. It didn't take a Harvard trained behaviorist to tell her that the absence of her instant tensing was a sign that she was growing more open to the idea. She couldn't tell whether or not it felt good or bad. All she knew was that she felt it.
"Yup, I'm wasting my time on a crazy shrink."
