"Cartman, you don't have to do this!" Cartman looked at Stan.
"It is my duty, Stan. You cannot stop me." Fuck me, thought Stan.
Finally, after hours, well – what seemed hours to Stan, Cartman stood out in his living room.
"Welcome all, today we are gathered here for a very special reason."
Stan gritted his teeth together, the faint sound of them rubbing against each other was enough to stop Stan from doing that again.
"Why are we here?" said a nasally voice. Stan knew that was Craig. So, he had brought people here, that made it even worse.
"Yeah, why are we here – FATASS." Stan stopped breathing for a moment. That was… KYLE? CARTMAN BROUGHT KYLE HERE AFTER ALL! Stan jumped around the corner.
"CARTMAN YOU FUCKING SNEAKY SHIT!" And sure enough, Kyle, Butters and Kenny all stood front and center.
Before Stan could get to Cartman the 'fatass' shouted:
"STAN LIKES BUTTERS!" Stan leapt on Cartman, beating in his face. Tugged off by Token a minute later, Stan lay sprawled on the floor. And then, and only then, had he realized Cartman said Butters. It wasn't Butters. It was…
"Stan! What the fuck!?" Kenny shouted. Oh shit. Just what he needed, a misunderstanding. What had happened that fateful night was that Kenny told Stan he liked Butters, Cartman obviously had heard wrong because Kenny had his hood off, and now…
"You rat!" Kenny exclaimed.
"No! Kenny, you of all people know that's not true!" Stan shouted back. But Kenny didn't believe Stan, and a few minutes later Stan was also on the floor pummeled by Kenny. Yes Kenny. His friend.
Stan and Cartman were not at school the next day. Everybody knew why. Nearly everyone at the 'announcement' sat at the same lunch table.
"Well, hey you guys!" Butters said happily.
Nobody answered, nobody answered the question that is. Kenny just sighed and began on a rant about how Stan used to be his friend and how much of a rat Stan was.
"Shut up, Kenny." Kyle said. Kenny looked at Kyle angrily.
"You're going to defend him! That piece of shit almost ruined my life!" Kyle couldn't argue. But what he could point out was that Stan had not ruined his 'life'. Kenny was with Butters.
"Yeah, hehe, it was a funny story," Butters began, "after all that stuff went down at Eric's house Kenny told me how he felt. I said to myself: 'Well, why not? I am Bi-curious after all'" Kyle frowned at Butters.
"Butters, this is serious."
"I know. I'm taking it seriously, I do love Kenny a lot" That calmed Kenny down, but Kyle really felt crap after what happened. Somehow he knew that Cartman had done something extremely sly to Stan, he just felt it.
"I heard Cartman said he wasn't going to tell you three about it." Said Clyde, barging into a conversation like he always does.
"Yeah, but Cartman's a piece of shit. You know this Clyde." Clyde couldn't argue.
Later that day Kyle stood in front of Stan's house. It seemed a lot bigger now with what was at stake. Kyle felt like a negotiator, but really it was Butters who sent him. Butters gets manipulated a lot, but he isn't stupid. He is probably the nicest person in the whole school. He suggested Kyle go over to Stan's and talk to him about it. It wasn't a dumb idea, and Kyle was thankful of people like Butters.
In he went.
"Stan's in his room Kyle." Sharon said, Kyle thanked her and padded up the stairs. He looked for the ever so familiar door and clicked it open.
"Stan?"
Faint sobs from behind the door stopped.
"Kyle?" Stan's voice was soft, innocent. Somehow, Kyle knew what had happened at Cartman's was not the truth. Kyle opened the door, just enough to fit him through, and closed it fast. He ambled over to Stan's bed and flopped on it.
"What did he say?" Kyle guessed Stan meant Kenny.
"That you were a rat. Mainly the things he calls Cartman." Stan dropped his head even further.
"God, not Cartman."
The room fell to silence again, and the sobs of Stan grew. He gained control of his emotions for once, something he's not very good at, and asked another question.
"How's Butters?"
"Um, I don't know how to tell you this but… Kenny and Butters are together. Craig's already come up with a name for them. Bunny. That's nice, right?" Stan looked up at Kyle and stifled a weak smile.
"Good." Kyle looked at Stan.
"What?" Now Kyle was confused.
"I told you not to believe Cartman, I… I don't like Butters… in that way. You know what I mean?"
"Uhh, yeah. Dude, you don't have to convince yourself you don't like Butters just because he's taken. Maybe they'll break up."
Stan's voice grew loud and raspy, back to the tone of which he shouted at Cartman yesterday, "I DON'T LIKE BUTTERS." Kyle was quite taken aback by Stan's sudden change in tone. And for some reason, he felt that what Stan was saying was true. He looked at the floor.
"You know what Stan? I believe you."
Again, the room fell silent, what had Kyle gotten himself into?
Walking home Kyle thought about how much change had occurred in a few days, and it was all kickstarted by Cartman. What a fatass.
Kyle eventually got back to his room and pulled himself to turn onto his computer and sent Kenny a message. It read:
KyleBroflovski: Stan doesn't like butters
KenMcCormick: ur just saying that so i don't smack the crap out of him tmrrw
KyleBroflovski: No, Kenny, I think he's being genuine
KenMcCormick: we'll see
KenMcCormick has logged off
Kyle sat in disbelief, we'll see? What the hell is wrong with everybody? Wasn't Stan Kenny's, well ex, friend? Kyle knew he wouldn't ditch anyone that easily.