Cas strolled through the campus in the glimmer of the sun after lunchtime. The chatter of students surrounded him. There was something invigorating about having a walk by himself; just him and his thoughts. Drifting. People could talk around him but he wouldn't hear a thing. Immersed in his own mind. Perfect solitude. The way he liked it. Or at least that's what he kept telling himself.

His lecture had passed quick. Him trying to write notes and being distracted by Meg's words from earlier. It was too difficult to stay enthused by his ageing professor while he was running his friends sentences through his head. Over and over. Till they were imprinted like Shakespeare quotes in his cranium. Soon the lined pages of his notebook had dwindled away to blanks. He'd left the lecture hall feeling more unproductive and confused than ever.

He stuffed his hands in the pockets of his trench coat and inhaled the summery scent that infused the area. The intense, sweet smell of freshly cut grass filling his nostrils. He loved that smell the most and how the lawn felt under his fingertips after it was trimmed. Filled with a sudden want to run his hands through the grassy blades Cas manoeuvred through the people to a safe spot by a tree.

Sinking to the ground he rested his back on the bark and sat patting his palms against the green earth. The sky was tattooed with flecks of white clouds and a flock of birds made synchronised dives above him. He could have lay indulging in the greenery, contemplating life and being deep in thought for hours, if the fates had let him, but as it happened a ball rolled up the grass bumping his leg, dislodging him from the scenic peace.

"Castiel?"

Cas blinked and looked up at Dean who was making little panting sounds and standing with his hands on his hips staring at him. He wore a plain, white t-shirt that turned almost see-through in the light and Cas could see the definition of his upper body; the curve of his torso and the ridges where his muscles protruded. His jeans were ripped and there was one particular tear in the fabric near the pocket that exposed the grey of his boxers.

"Oh, hello Dean," Cas mumbled, averting his eyes from the crotch area.

Dean scooped up the ball, making direct eye contact as he bowed down, "What are you doing sitting here alone?"

"I like it. It's peaceful." He peered past Dean's body, noticing Sam and Jess in the distance sunbathing on a tartan rug.

"Well, uh, why don't you come join us?" Dean asked, "I, er, wanted to thank you for last night. I don't remember much but I know you let me use your bed so thanks."

"It's fine. Don't mention it," Cas muttered, pushing a strand of hair from his face. He couldn't help staring at Dean's muscular form beyond the almost transparent shirt fabric. There was sweat dampening his forehead and Dean swiped the back of his hand over it casually.

"So how 'bout it? We have sandwiches," he indicated behind him, his eyebrow curling. Cas noted how expressive and defined Dean's eyebrows were, the way they arched and curved and squished together with each animated expression.

"Uh," he ran a hand through his hair, twisting his fingers around his sideburns, "Sure. If it's okay with Sam and Jess.."

Dean tucked the ball under his arm and held out his free hand, "Dude, they love you more than they love me. It's cool."

Cas grazed his hand over his trousers quickly to remove any sweatiness in his palms and took Dean's hand. He was pulled up instantly with a such force that it knocked his balance. Dean literally lifting him into the the air. As he landed down again Dean released his hand and Cas's feet scuffed against the roots of the tree. He slid back. His legs kicking up into the sky. He was certain he was about to be flat out on his ass but then Dean's hand swooped round and latched onto his waist. Cas's mouth gaped as he lurched back up, knocking right into Dean's chest.

The air suddenly felt dense and suffocating. Cas tipped his head up and his eyes met Dean's. They were glazed over and fixated on Cas. The greens of his iris's flashing like traffic lights. Both of them were speechless with their mouths hanging open, making shocked, sharp inhales and exhales. Cas could feel Dean's fingers clinging onto his body. After a moment they were still hovered there. He really felt it; the weight of Dean's warm palm buried in the space above his hips where his waist curved inward slightly. His whole body reeled into Dean's, with Dean's arm wrapped around him and Cas leaning into his hold. His hands were both pressed tightly against Dean's pecs, nails digging in sharply. He could feel the hot waves of Dean's breath blowing against the bridge of his nose. He deliberated how long was too long to keep standing in this position before things got awkward but every time he tried to pull away he found his legs wouldn't budge. Cas gulped, slicking his lips with the tip of his tongue anxiously. Everything was dry. Ever so gently he lifted his nails off Dean.

Dean batted his lashes. His hand faltered away from Cas's waist and they separated, Cas eyeing the ground behind him as he stepped back.

"That was er, close...You were almost on your ass," Dean said.

"Yeah.. Thanks.." Cas murmured. His words felt lost, his throat parched and dusty. Blood pressure rocketing. He couldn't even muster the ability to moisten his mouth, as though Dean had dried him out. His body felt transfixed. Head dazed and a million thoughts cramming in all at once. What was happening to him?

"Well. Let's get over for lunch? I'm starving," Dean said, backing away.

"Okay," Cas mumbled. His body sparked into action, eager to follow Dean. To be near him. He turned swiftly and picked up his bag. The heaviness dragging his light, airy mind back to reality.

He jogged a few steps after Dean so that he could walk alongside him but Dean kept a quick pace. Cas held his hand onto his bag and tried to keep up. His black shoes scuffing through the grass. When he got close enough to see the side of Dean's face Dean threw the ball on the grass and started running, kicking the ball forward. Cas's eyes dropped. Heart sinking. Goofy smile faltering. Why? He didn't know. He didn't understand why he felt so rejected. Somehow he thought there had just been something... Some kind of connection. Was he wrong?

When Cas finally approached the picnic blanket Dean was sitting down, using the ball as seat. Jess was resting on her front, leaning on her elbows and when the shadowy shape of his body loomed over her she peeked up over her sunglasses.

"Cas!" She immediately shot up and embraced him, "Oh my god hey! I'm so glad you're here. Finally someone I can have a proper conversation with that doesn't involve grunts." She kicked her foot at Sam's side and he grunted back. He was lying on his back, hair cascading out on the rug, obviously trying to catch up on some sleep after last night.

Cas shyly weaselled out of her hug, "Are you sure it's okay I join? I don't want to intrude if you guys are having a 'date' thing. Dean said-"

"I said he could have some food with us. Kinda of a thank you for letting me crash," Dean interjected. He reached down and dug his hands through the picnic bag, retrieving a large sub sandwich with bacon dangling out at the edges.

"Yeah 'course it's okay. Sit. We have plenty," Jess dropped back on the rug, tucking her knees up to her chest smiling.

Cas lowered down, "Thats very kind if you. I can't stay long unfortunately though; I have work in an hour."

Jess dragged the picnic bag so that it slumped in front of Castiel, "Aw that's a shame. Is it a long shift?" Cas nodded.

He'd been working at the gas station for almost the entire year now. It was usually more of a nighttime kind of situation. Less busy that way. More time for himself. He'd planned it purposefully that way so that his day times were free for studying or lectures. Plus when it was quiet, which was the majority of the time, he had a chance to read while he worked. One of his other colleagues had asked at the start of the week if Cas could take her shift, so today he was working from the afternoon till after midnight. But he didn't mind. He had another part time job on the weekend mornings too, some light cleaning at one of the college bars. It was more of a recent gig, cash in hand sort of thing, just to help a bit more with student fees.

Dean was devouring his sandwich like it was his last meal, sloppily munching on the bacon, making excessive sounds of delight. Cas watched him. The way his tongue darted around his mouth, wetting his chops and licking his fingers, his lips full and pushed out as he chewed. So juicy and plump and wet. Imagining them pressed firmly on his-

"There's loads of sandwiches in there Cas. Don't by shy," Jess chirped. She was slurping orange juice from a carton, looking contently at him.

Cas flushed red, praying Jess hadn't caught him staring at Dean, "Okay. Thanks.."

He pulled out a ham and cheese baguette and started to chew. The baguette was extra crispy and burnt at the edges, just how he liked it. As he swallowed he couldn't help his eyes wandering back to Dean. The sunshine gracing his face perfectly, highlighting his freckles.

"You okay, dude?" Dean said and Cas blinked.

"Um yeah I'm fine," Cas fidgeted awkwardly, turning his face away while he bit into his food.

"So what do you study anyway?" Dean asked, mouth full with crispy bacon as he talked.

Cas held out his hand as a polite indication till he finished munching, "English Literature. And, er, what do you do Dean? Professionally I mean."

Dean laughed lowly, "I'm a bit of a drifter. Pick up work here and there. Mostly cars."

"Nothing permanent?" Cas asked, intrigued by the laid-back lifestyle and attitude Dean had. He could never be so unstructured. Cas planned everything meticulously.

"Nah. It's more fun just taking off. Bit more adventurous than books," Dean kicked his boot against Cas's book bag. A book slid out and landed on the rug.

"Books can be adventurous," Cas said with a sigh, slipping the book back in his bag.

Dean held up his hands smirking, "Sorry, I forgot how uptight you were about your books."

"I'm not upright," Cas frowned.

"Well you pretty much barked my head off last time I knocked a book from your hands," Dean recalled, rolling his eyes.

"You should have been looking where you were going. Plus those books are expensive. Some of us have to work hard for stuff. It's not like we can all just take off in our cars and see where the road takes us," Cas muttered.

"Cool it princess," Dean grunted. His tone getting sharper.

"I'm not a princess," Cas replied, getting gradually more and more wound up. All his romantic thoughts unravelling in an instant.

"Sure you are. A tightly-wound princess who gets her knickers in a twist when a book falls out of place," Dean mocked, chewing from the side of his mouth wickedly.

"Dean, enough," Jess soothed her hand on Dean's shoulder.

"You don't know me," Cas snapped.

"Whooah. Calm down Cassy, sounds like someone's got their girlies coming on."

Cas threw his baguette down, "Do not call me Cassy. I'm not a girl."

"You seem a bit girly to me," Dean growled back. He was loving that he could get Castiel riled like this, the way his face blushed red and eyes sharpened down. It was... Cute.

"God your such an ass!" Cas yelled, sitting up, closer to Dean. Fury masking his eyes. There was an intense energy pulsing between the two. Sam was beginning to stir awake now because of all the commotion and Jess was tucked against him gobsmacked. People were starting to stare over.

"Yeah well at least I don't take it up the ass!" Dean barked, leaning forward to square up. Heaving in a heavy breath to make his chest seem larger. Cas gasped and sat back. There was nothing he could say in counteraction. A pang of hurt spiralled through him, like a spear had just sunk into his chest, knocking the wind out of him. The viciousness of Dean's words stabbing him, reminding him of his childhood and the bullies he'd faced. Now he could feel tears building up and he bit his lip to try and keep them from running down his face. He was embarrassed enough.

Dean gulped. Eyes flickering nervously. He knew he'd messed up. Gone too far. He could see it in Castiel's eyes. The prickle of tears at the corners of his lashes. The sunken glaze of sadness.

"Castiel.. I'm.. Uh..." Dean stammered, struggling to look at him, "I didn't mean-"

"Whatever," Cas said, feeling so suddenly low. His body felt heavy. Like he was strapped to stones and being pulled underwater. Eyes getting gradually more and more wet. Throat clasping close, stinging with every breathe. Choking. Struggling.

"I never meant it.. I'm sorry man," Dean mumbled, reaching a hand out to pat Cas's shoulder. Cas shifted away, turning his head, determined not to cry in front of everyone.

He narrowed his gaze and snatched at a his satchel, "Just fuck off." Jess frowned and rested her manicured hand on Cas's knee.

"Cas, hunny, you okay?" She said softly.

He almost cried. In that moment, when she touched him, he could have crumbled, unloaded all his pent up frustration. The tears forming quickly. His head was all frizzy with emotion and his heart was hammering at his rib cage. But he held it in, sniffed back the emotion and let his hair flop over his eyes to masquerade the redness.

"I'm okay Jess," he managed to say through quivering lips.

Cas got to his feet solemnly, bag slung on his shoulder. Jess was looking up at him like a lost puppy - head tilted with concern and big, round eyes peering into his conflicted heart. Dean was trying to ignore him. His head buried down awkwardly; fingers flicking over the blades of grass by his side, popping the heads off of daisies with his thumb. He looked apologetic. If his face were a canvas it would have the word regret painted across it in bright red to match the shade of his shamed cheeks. Cas shook his fuzzy mind, all clogged up with sadness and disappointment, turned on his heels and without word sulked off into the busy campus grounds.

The crowd consumed him. An exasperated sigh broke from his mouth. The tension in his shoulders unravelling. He was about to bask in the relief of being a nobody swimming in a sea of strangers when he felt a firm tap on his back.

"Castiel.."

Dean. His distinctive gruff voice stirring the pot of turmoil in Cas's stomach all over again. Cas half turned, flicking his head up and his hair tossed to the side exposing his bloodshot eyes. Dean bit his lip.

"I'm.. I'm sorry. I really am. I didn't mean to offend-"

Cas cut him off, "Dean I don't care. The problem with people like you is that you don't understand. You don't realise how your words, and the way you say them, can affect people like me. It's so easy for you. You swan around like you don't give a damn hurling insults. It doesn't make you a big man. It makes you a dickhead." When he finished Cas gulped, wincing in fear and trembling on the spot. Now he had gone too far. He was half expecting a fist to connect with his jaw but the hit never came.

Instead Dean carefully looked up from under his narrowed eyebrows and whispered, "Believe me.. I understand."

"Huh?" Cas doubled back confused.

Dean launched, snatching at the collar of Cas's coat and drawing him in. Cas flew forward petrified as Dean's fist roughly pulled the fabric in the air and Cas was dragged up so that his panicked eyes stared directly into Dean's. The green of his iris so vivid and alerting. Cas's blood was stampeding through his veins, pummelling into his heart, face burning red. He wanted to shout and break free from the grasp but his knees had turned to jelly, all gangly and useless beneath him. It felt like he'd been tranquillised and Dean's strong, vice hold was the only thing keeping him standing. Dean slicked his lips and leaned forward more, so that his stubble grazed against Cas's smooth jaw and his mouth breathed onto the shorter mans twitching, hot ear. Cas's breath hitched as he felt the slight wetness of Dean's lips brush his earlobe. All the other sounds around faded out and his hearing zoned in on Dean's voice alone.
"I said," Dean whispered, his voice golden and thick like treacle,".. I said I understand."

Cas felt a fever of lust flush through his body. A tingle that swarmed from his ear down through his body, burning like a warm coal in the pit of his stomach. What was Dean hinting at? He couldn't mean...

"I... Dean.." Cas's words stumbled out of his mouth. A group of preppy girls watched curiously over at the two men. People were stopping to look at them. The intimacy drawing attention.

Dean fluttered his eyelashes nervously and loosened his grip on Cas's trench coat embarrassed, "Just forget it okay."

"But Dean-" he swayed forward on his tiptoes into Dean.

"Get away from me," Dean suddenly blurted, shoving Cas with his large hand, storming past toward the group of girls. Cas wheezed sadly. He felt the tears really swell this time and they began trickling out of the sides of his eyes. His throat getting all twisted and scratchy. He balled up his fists and started to walk quickly into the crowd, dropping his head humiliated. When he glanced back Dean was already chatting up a skinny, blonde bimbo. Flicking a tear from his cheek with his finger Cas retreated to his room alone.

To be continued...