this took a bit longer than i suspected. unfortunately, im not even done yet so im just going to break it into two parts instead.
loving all of these suggestions btw guys. youre all awesome.
Chrom and the Fishsticks
Cheepter 3: Birth of the Fishsticks part 1
The next morning, Chrom arose from his slumber. He hoped that Lucina's devious act was all an ploy and furthermore, an mere dream. The blue-haired Ylissean king got off his giant, Spongebob Squarepants themed bed and made his way towards his closet to get dressed. He groaned, muttering a few words under his breath as he seemed to remember that he had to meet up with Grima this morning. Part of him wondered why he was even stooping so low to work alongside his nemesis real quickly and not just use Roben however, both of them lost something of extreme value to them that day. Plus, Roben was Henry's fiance and he really didn't want to ask the dark mage himself if he could borrow his boyfriend for a moment.
He turned on the radio as he began to brush his teeth and clean himself up for the day. It appeared to be discussing the disappearance of all of the fishsticks and newspapers in the world. The Ylissean king heavily sighed, quite bummed out that overall, this was not an dream. The confiscation of the fishsticks and the newspapers was reality, one Chrom wishes he could go back in time and change. Perhaps he could ask an time traveler or look for Marty McFly so he can go BACK TO THE FUTURE I MEAN PAST LIKE SAMURAI JACK!
As he finished, the man turned off the radio not wanting to hear another world. After all, he had to meet up with his nemesis and his wife and work alongside them, heck even find team members who would even bother helping them in their epic quest to rescue the goods back. Chrom realized he hadn't even eaten breakfast yet but figured he could just eat breakfast at Grima's place. One thing he did remember about it though was its strange decor, courtesy of the Lancia family heirloom. Part of him still wondered if the Lancia twins still lived there, heck even his beloved Chromantha who keeps repeatedly telling him that her name is Shia and not Chromantha. Then he remembered that all three girls moved out awhile ago, Cia with Robin in his apartment, Lana with Crossbow Training Link and Shia well, he hadn't had the slightest clue where little Chromantha would even go.
He couldn't even recall the last time he's ever seen her. Chrom figured it was most likely an year ago during the whole group club or whatever the hell they're called fiasco going on as overall, the perishable results only caused more harm than good. City property got destroyed, businesses were in ruins, heck even a lot of spectacular events got delayed due to the unnecessary fighting caused by Icarus and the evil Yoshinator. It was quite the absurd battle indeed, especially from an Meme'ber's standpoint yet they've managed to get tangled up as terrorists under the sleazy Hot Topic Krew and unfortunately, the Tooters were labeled as criminal masterminds as well.
When word first came out, he remembered poor Toadette almost on the verge of tears due to having such an horrible label barred under her good name. Tiny Kong and Palutena did their best to calm her down, promising that they would try their best to explain to Paul Blart and the others that it's an complete understanding yet their words of encouragement didn't reach her. Instead, it only made things worse. Luckily her biggest role model Dry Bowser showed up just in time to reassure her otherwise she probably would have been an complete mess.
The indigo haired man couldn't help but chuckle to himself, seeing how the battle over some silly store in the mall blew up way out of proportion and became more about who's right, who's wrong before realizing that is what the true mastermind wanted. It was like how Junko Enoshima wanted for her Project Despair shit as she was turned on by the despair of others for some odd reason, then again she's an sadist. She didn't expect Makoto Naegi to cockblock her every move as he watched his classmates kill one another, become executed, escaped Hope's Peak Academy, went to the Island of Dangan Ronpa 2 and did the other stuff in the other game. Damn Eggy did a lot, goddamn it Naegi stop doing all the things.
Anyways, back to the matter at hand, the last time Chrom even saw Chromantha was after the groups all went their own separate ways. It was almost as if she disappeared from the eyes of the world, never to be seen again. The thought spooked the Ylissean king but sooner or later, he realized there was no point in dwelling on the pat. After all, it was better to keep moving forward anyways just like the whole slogan of Meet the Robinsons.
As Chrom began to head out the door, an voice stopped him dead in his tracks.
"Milord, where are you going?!"
Turning around, he saw it was none other than his trusty companion Frederick, otherwise known as Frederock. Frederick seemed to have that stern look on his face being concerned for Chrom's well-being just like the nanny caretaker he is.
"Did I tell you to leave the closet?!" Chrom said, being a bit irked.
"No Milord, but I must warn you whatever you're trying to do can be quite dangerous. In fact, it's too dangerous to go alone take me," said the brunet.
"Just get back in the closet!" the king ordered, sighing. He didn't have time to deal with Frederick and his bickering right now. After all, he had to go see that damn feels dragon.
"A-alright Milord," he replied back, going back into well, the closet.
With that, Chrom left his castle.
At the Temple of Souls, Grima appeared to be reading online newspaper articles on his iPad while sipping his espresso brewed coffee. He sighed, knowing it wasn't the same as reading from the good ol' newspaper but ever since Lucina decided to somehow confiscate all the newspapers and fishsticks in the world, he had no choice. Grima was always awake before his wife, seeing how she had the tendency to snore extremely loud in her sleep as the source to that will be the Hot Topic Krew Mini Special 2 as why am I even telling you guys this. This ain't no English class or no MLA, APA, or Chicago style shit. The fell dragon sometimes wondered if she should be evaluated for sleep apnea, seeing how one of the symptoms is excessive snoring throughout the night. It was one of his many concerns going on right now, seeing how he cherished his dear Kynthia above all else.
Speaking of his wife, she happened to be whipping them up some breakfast as he could hear her humming throughout the kitchen. One thing Grima could admit though that it was finally peaceful and quiet, especially seeing how his daughters finally moved out an while ago. The man did admit sometimes that he missed having them around, heck even arguing about the strangest things no one else even thinks of.
However, the tranquil was short lived as Chrom rang the doorbell. The fell dragon muttered a few words under his breath, remembering last night's conversation as went to get the door.
Chrom tapped his foot, finding the decoration to be quite peculiar. The Link statues were everywhere, almost staring at him as if they were piercing through his very soul. He didn't know what purpose they even served but if there was one thing he could think of, it was the fact that this place is creepier than an cementary and that's saying something!
Soon, Grima answered the door as he narrowed his eyes a bit before letting the fishstick, now fishstickless loving man of Ylisse step inside.
The first thing he noticed was more Link decorations, consisting of portraits, Link memorabilia, some of the prized possessions throughout the timelines, to even some figurines and an Toon Link nendroid. Chrom shuddered in thought wondering what caused an man to love an green Keebler elf so much not realizing that this wasn't Grima's thing, but an Lancia thing.
He quickly remembered that the Temple of Souls reflect someone's mindset and if they can somehow intertwine their thoughts with the manor, they can change the decoration however they pleased. Chrom begin to mediate, omming as it startled Grima, causing the white haired man to raise a brow in confusion.
"What the fuck are you doing?" he questioned.
A few minutes later, Chrom somehow linked with the Temple of Souls, now changing all of the Link interior and exterior to represent his mind, being fishsticks, hedgehogs and of course, more fishsticks.
"WHICH ONE OF YOU FUCKERS CHANGED THE DECORATIONS?!" Kynthia literally yelled from the kitchen. She seemed to be distressed now, not liking this one bit.
"Chrom, change it back NOW!" Grima ordered.
"Fine," he complained, changing it back from the newly developed Temple of Fishsticks back to the Temple of Souls, featuring Link from The Legend of Zelda series.
"That's better," she yelled out from the kitchen. "Hey Grigri? Who's even here anyways?! I heard the doorbell."
"It's an long story, but it's Chrom," he answered back.
"...Alright dear, I see that you guys are losing it with your no ~fishsticks~ and no ~newspapers~ shortage that you now have the desire to be buddies with one another. That's quite lovely," she said sarcastically.
"Is she alright?" Chrom asked, feeling like he came at an bad time.
"Cia's just upset right now probably from her lack of sleep she's been having for an while now," Grima said, replying to Chrom's question.
"I HEARD THAT!"
Grima just sighed, excusing himself as he went to go inside the kitchen to make up seeing how he always felt extremely bad when being reckless with his wife. Chrom heard them both giggling like school children as their usual flirting antics started flaring up. He cringed, remembering Robin during the New Year's Eve party as his memory blanked out during that day for some reason.
"TWEET TWEET."
Chrom was chatting up an storm with Captain Falcon, Little Mac, Samus, Bayonetta and Mario as he munched on an fishstick, dipping in ketchup sauce for the sweet taste. They were discussing the Age of Ultron as it came to an abrupt stop from the random bird call noises.
"TWEET TWEET!"
"CAW CAW!"
"Um, what is even going on?" Samus asked, being confused beyond all hell. Little Mac shrugged in response as he drank out of his Hi-C juice box while Captain Falcon was holding an Samuel Adams beer.
"I don't even want to-a know," said Mario, shaking his head.
"It sounds like bird calls, bird mating calls to be correct," guessed the F-Zero racer.
"Whatever it is, it's fucking annoying and preventing me from eating my fishsticks in peace," complained Chrom. The noises thankfully ceased for now as they went back to discussing the movie, talking about which parts they've enjoyed, which should have been changed and overall, how sexy Scarlet Johanassen looked as Black Widow.
Soon, however the noises came back once more.
"TWEET TWEET!"
"CAW! CAW!"
"GODS DAMN IT!" Chrom cried, doing an table flip. This surprised the other five as they were taken aback from the king's sudden rage. He decided to go see who the hell was even doing the stupid mating calls or rather, roleplaying as birds. He entered the house as he heard the cries of the wild get louder and louder as he entered an room. There it was, Robin and Cia in an X-rated film position you can't know about because this is rated T for Teen and the other stuff is not allowed. Chrom's eye twitched as Robin was well, being an actual robin while Cia was an crow to represent the mask she wore back in the good ol'days of that one videogame.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING, YOU MOTHERFUCKERS?!" CHROM SCREAMS!
Robin of course, narrowed his eyes as he ruined the mood.
"Gods damn it Chrom!" both of them said at once, ruining the sweet sweet love of can you feel the love tonight.
Never again, thought Google Chrome.
Soon after, Chrom decided to join the other two in the kitchen. Grima had his iPad out, reading another article before Kynthia told him to put it away, seeing how there was an guest in the house even if it was Chrom himself. The fell dragon manakete sighed, turning off his iPad as he began eating his meal.
Kynthia glanced over at Chrom who for some reason kept staring at her.
"Um, may I help you?" she asked.
"Uh, I didn't eat breakfast," said the Ylissean man.
"... I guess I can whip you up an plate if that's what you're requesting, right?" she replied.
Chrom nodded as he received an breakfast of champions. Kynthia sat back at the table as she took a sip of her morning java, looking at both men.
"So," she said, breaking the silence. "What exactly do you guys have to tell me?"
"Well, Chrom called me in the middle of the night and proposed that we should try to talk some sense into Lucina," Grima answered.
"So, I will like to propose an team! I already designed the costumes and everything," Chrom exclaimed. He took out his magical sketchbook with a picture of Mabel from Gravity Falls wearing one of her many famous sweaters. Opening it, he jumped to the page where it read 'Chrom and the Fishsticks' showing Chrom dressed as himself while the others were donning Fishstick costumes.
"This, is our team name and this is what you guys will be wearing," the Ylissean king proudly exclaimed.
The married couples eyes narrowed, exchanging looks of disdain with one another before giving their divided attention towards Chrom one more.
"Not only no, but hell no," Grima bluntly stated.
"Chrom, I appreciate all the hard work you possibly put into this but this isn't going to work sweetie," Kynthia said, giving her opinion. "In fact to be honest, no one's going to want to be dressed up as an fishstick. Next, I assume we're all going to get some corny job title as an fishstick while you go shout Chrom the Leader to initiate battle. Please, stop. Don't do that because in the long run, we'll make fools of ourselves. There is no need to yell job titles, no is no need for job titles let alone costumes. After all, that's so December 20th, 2014 when some kids thought their stupid store got ruined but in reality INSERT HOT TOPIC KREW ENDING SPOILERS HERE."
Chrom nodded, frowning as his idea was turned down. "Can we at least keep the group title though? I just saw Marina in concert two days ago and felt like an diamond."
"Fine."
"Honey don't help him!" Grima scolded, sighing. The last thing he needed was his wife having sympathy for the fishstick loving lord of Ylisse. Well, she always had sympathy for anyone given the fact that she's always been an softie.
"But Grigri, how would he change into an better person if no one's there to guide him! I mean, Ruben criticized him rather than just being nice and suggesting alternatives," whined the lavender haired woman.
"Fine, say now what about members?" he asked.
"Perhaps we should go out to the shops near the seaside," Kynthia suggested. "We might be bound to help Chrom catch some of his friends there."
"Good idea!" said Chrom. "I already texted two people who are interested in helping."
"And they are?"
"Shulk and Marth of course!"
"Oh sweet, the actor! Yess!"
"Honey no..."
Afterwards, the three finished breakfast and made their way towards the seaside shopping district.
in part 2, chrom finally gets his team and meets the purple man. also little do they know, some other shops have an problem with chrom as well but why!
tune in to find out on part 2.