I'm SO glad that people are enjoying this as much as I am. Here's some more...
"You know…" Colonel Carter says casually. "If you're ever feeling particularly clumsy in the future, call me. Like if you think you might have another 'fall'."
I can't meet her gaze. "Thanks, Colonel Carter, but it's fine."
"Call me Sam. And I think your wrist, ribs and face tell a different story."
"I don't really want to talk about it. It was just a stupid fall."
"Okay. Did you at least get your ribs checked when you got your wrist plastered?"
I shake my head, staring at my cast. The Captain had only taken me to the ER in the first place because my wrist was deformed and he couldn't deny that it was broken. And he was very annoyed at having to take me. I wasn't going to cause more problems by telling anyone about my ribs and keeping him at the ER any longer than necessary. He'd charmed all the nurses and even the male doctor who set my wrist, so no-one asked me any difficult questions despite the bruises on my face.
"Would you mind if I had a quick look?" Sam asks, her eyes are very blue as I finally look up at her. "I'm not a medical doctor but I've had some field medic training."
"Okay." I agree. It's easier to agree because I know she probably won't stop pushing until I give in.
Her fingers are gentle as she lifts my top up just enough to examine the slight discolouration on my side. She presses lightly around the area and I hiss through my teeth because it really hurts. She wrinkles her brow apologetically and practically winces in sympathy. Eventually she pulls my top down again.
"I pretty sure they're just bruised. Probably worth getting an x-ray just to be certain there are no fissures."
"Maybe. I'll see how I go."
Sam finally drops the subject and we spend a blissful couple of hours talking about the love of my life. Physics. Sam is brilliant. She also seems to understand quite well what level I'm at and explains things so easily. I wonder if Dr McKay will be quite so accommodating. I have a feeling that he'll be a lot tougher and less patient but I'm not really worried. I probably need someone pushing me to do better all the time. Better than I think I can.
However, Sam is definitely going to be a great person to go to when I have questions while I'm waiting for responses from Dr McKay. Plus she'll be good backup in case I don't understand something the way Dr McKay explains it. Two brilliant minds for me to pick. I'm totally going to love this. If I make it through tonight. And the next day. And the day after that.
Sam eventually has to leave. She's a busy, important woman. I like her. I want to be like her. She has so much confidence.
"Don't forget…" She says at the door. "Call me if you're feeling clumsy."
I shrug because I don't know what to say. I am this close to breaking down and begging her to stay until tonight but I don't dare. "See you later, Sam." I say, giving her the smile she deserves.
As she walks away and I close the door, a little voice in my head tells me I should change the locks. For a second, I consider it. Trouble is, he'd just break the door down and he'd be even angrier. Better not to make things worse than they already are.
I distract myself from thoughts of tonight with furious scribblings based on my conversations with Sam. I pore over the latest papers and take notes. Soon I'll get to talk to Dr McKay about all this. I have to be prepared. I don't want to look foolish.
Late afternoon, the phone rings. It's the Captain. He won't be home till much later he says. Some training session that he's been invited to attend. He sounds very excited. I shudder as he mentions something about hand-to-hand combat. He doesn't make the connection. I think he sometimes forgets what he's done to me. I don't like the idea of him becoming any more proficient but not having to see him until after midnight sounds extremely appealing. Until he demands that I have a late supper waiting for him when he gets back. He wants tuna mornay and I know why.
I don't want to make it for him. It's one of Dr McKay's favourites. But I have to. I put on cheerful music as I cook and I pretend that I'm making it for Dr McKay. I imagine the look of glee on his face. The man always made such a big deal about food. I continue my imaginings. We'd sit at my cosy kitchen table. Maybe I'd light some candles. We'd talk about physics and he'd tell me about his adventures with much embellishment, highlighting the importance of his role in the tale. Then we'd go for a long walk and he'd complain the entire way. It would be lovely. He'd go to hold my hand and chicken out, so maybe I'd just quietly take his hand in my mine. It would be strong and warm. It'd make me feel safe. Then at my doorway, we'd stop in the moonlight and hesitantly he'd touch my face and…
I drop the can of tuna on the floor in shock. What was I thinking? This was crazy. Was I sort of falling for a guy I hadn't even seen in over a year? That I didn't even particularly like when he was here? So what if I'd noticed in the daily video that his eyelashes were impossibly long and his slate blue eyes could sometimes be so soft. That his nose was an appealing shape. That when he was waffling on and on about random things and wandering off on tangents he was completely adorable? That when he spoke of possibly dying he did so with a sort dignity and courage that I'm not sure he realises he has?
I pick up the tuna. The cat is sniffing at it. I have no idea how she can tell its fish when the can isn't even open.
"I'm going completely insane." I tell her and she meows in answer, sounding like she's agreeing with me. I don't understand these feelings I'm having but they couldn't have come at a worse time. Then again, I have to admit to myself that perhaps this all was beginning long before the Captain arrived in my life. Not that it mattered now. I was stuck with the bastard.
The Captain arrives home at about 1am. He's starving and exhausted. The person running the training session had been brutal apparently. I'm sent for icepacks and painkillers and have to rub anti-inflammatory cream into various aching muscles. He's being a baby but I don't really mind because I actually enjoy seeing him in pain. Plus, he hurts too much to do anything to me.
He goes on and on about what an honour it was to be selected, as he wolfs down the meal I so lovingly prepared (for someone else) without comment or interest. He raves about how the trainer is considered 'a great warrior' and I think that sounds overly dramatic. Apparently he is very high up in 'the program' and the Captain thinks this interest from 'the great warrior' might mean his chances are looking better somehow. I'm just hoping this 'great warrior' didn't teach my vicious boyfriend any new tricks to use on me.
The next few days are heavenly. My boyfriend is working long shifts and double shifts and doing all sorts of training courses. I barely see him and when I do it's usually just to feed him before he collapses into bed. All I have to do is stay quiet and do whatever he asks when he asks and there's no trouble. I have plenty of time during the day while he's away to do my work without being bothered.
I call Sam a couple of times with questions. I've had to leave her messages but she's gotten back to me pretty quickly. She commented on how busy the Captain has been and how I must not have seen much of him the past few days. I start to wonder if she had something to do with it. There is a rather pleased tone in her voice. I'm not certain whether to be offended or grateful for the interference. I decide on grateful.
I'm starting to relax when I get home from the University one afternoon to find the Captain already there. He's not happy. And he has my latest papers from Dr McKay in his hands.
"You're home early." I say carefully.
"Do you know what this is?" He snarls, ignoring my comment.
"Just stuff I'm reading about physics." I reply lamely.
"Don't play dumb with me! I know who you got these from!" He waves the papers menacingly. "You have no idea what he's given you!"
"And you do?" I ask, unable to help myself.
He sneers at me and flips through the pages reading out subjects through gritted teeth, his voice rising in tone and volume as the list continues. "Quantum Mechanics. Experimental Condensed Matter Physics. Theoretical Astroparticle Physics. Cosmology. Stellar Evolution. Astrobiology. Cosmo-planetology. Wormhole theory! Nano-freaking-technology! Unlike you, I know what this all adds up to!"
I stare at him in confusion. I've never thought anything about the subjects Dr McKay had chosen to be adding up to anything other than a fascinating mix of different aspects of physics which have a definite leaning towards the astrophysics side of things. Considering he is an astrophysicist it's not surprising to me at all. Plus all the things he's chosen seems to me to lead on from things I've shown an interest in – either from my pre-McKay work which Professor Quinn sent him or from the assignments of his I'd completed a few weeks ago.
"There is no WAY I'm going to let them shuffle me off to Antarctica while RODNEY FUCKING McKAY grooms his whore to join the program instead of me! NO FUCKING WAY! Do you hear me?"
"Antarctica?" I'm backing away from him. Not that it'll do much good.
"Yes, Antarctica." His voice is as cold as I'd imagine the place to be. "Don't get me wrong, it's not as bad as it sounds – it's sort of an important place. Maybe it's my ticket into the main part of the program. Who knows?"
"You could be right." I respond, encouragingly.
"The thing is… I did some digging. Turns out Colonel Carter arranged my re-assignment. Why would that be?"
"Maybe she thought you were doing a good job?"
He grabs me by the hair, pulling me close to his face. "I think it has something to do with you. I think it has something to do with McKay. And I'm not going to let him have you. You're mine. This physics thing is OVER!"
Shoving me away, he starts tearing up the pages. Not just the papers Dr McKay had sent but all my handwritten notes and work and all the questions I had for Sam and Dr McKay.
"NO! DON'T! PLEASE!" I can hear myself screaming. I throw myself at him trying to rescue my beloved work but I can't get him to stop and soon it's all destroyed. Tears are running down my face as I let go of him and stare at the confetti on the floor. He moves towards me and I'm in too much shock to notice.
"Now, I think it's time I taught you a real lesson." He snarls, the first blow landing on my jaw. I fall backwards over the coffee table. I hear something snap. Several somethings. I hope it's just the table. I feel pain. Lots of it. I don't know where because everything is out of focus and I feel strange. I think someone is knocking on the door. I wonder if it's Sam but it can't be because I forgot to call her to say I was going to be clumsy.
"Mind your own fucking business!" The Captain yells at the door. The person doesn't listen because the door opens. I don't know how. I can't see from where I am. I don't dare move because I hurt so much. I just know that the Captain is yelling and he's fighting with the other person. I hope he doesn't hurt them but I'm just glad that he's not still hitting me.
The fight ends. I really hope the Captain didn't win because I really can't take any more. Breathing is difficult and I don't know if I'm panicking or if I've damaged my ribs further. The winner of the fight comes towards me. Closing my eyes, I want to scream but it's too hard and I'm ready to give in anyway.