Chapter 3: Catching Fire

"Director Fury have you selected a new Deputy Director yet?"

"I have."

Fury stood motionless in the middle of the room as the he stared around at the computerized men and women council members.

"What candidate did you choose?" The council men on the far right asked impatiently.

"I have elected to not choose from the candidates you supplied me with."

There was an outcry of protests around him as he each council member tried to speak over the other. Fury let the onslaught continue as The Council members continued to berate and question his decision. It took a few minutes for The Council to realize that Fury was not responding to them before they became quiet.

Fury leveled them all with a stare as he tried to control his temper.

"The candidates that you supplied me with were all Deputy Director material except for one small problem." Fury paused. "Every single one of them was connected to you in some way."

The council members all opened their mouths to no doubt defend themselves but Fury had enough. He slammed his hands on the table in front of him and leveled them all with a glare.

"As long as I am director of SHIELD I will not allow this council to pull strings from the inside. What you all attempted to do would have compromised SHIELD and everything it stands for and I will not allow it."

The silence that greeted Fury was music to his ears. After several minutes of silence one of The Council members finally spoke up.

"Who have you chosen?"

Accepting that was the closest thing he would get to an apology Fury stepped forward and pushed a few buttons on the screen in the middle of the room. With a flick of his hand he sent Maria Hill's file to each council member. Her file was now displayed in front of each them.

"Captain Maria Hill. Age 30. Marines-Special Forces. As you can see by her tests scores, they the highest the military has ever seen. Captain Hill completed four tours in Afghanistan and Iraq."

Fury pushed another button on the display and sent The Council members her last op.

"Her squad, The Black Angels, was the most successful squad in military history. Two years ago she was ordered to infiltrate a base on the outskirt of Afghanistan where the United States believed the enemy was producing nuclear weapons. When clearing the building her squad was exposed to a weaponized chemical bomb which gave off high levels of Gama radiation. Captain Hill was the only survivor."

Fury pushed another button on the display and sent The Council everything he found that wasn't destroyed by the military. It wasn't a lot but it was enough to get an idea of what happened.

"Now, we only have these to go off of as the US military has destroyed all their files pertaining to Captain Hill and her team. But the few documents you have in front of you paint a very disturbing picture of the US military. As you can the military declared Captain Hill and her team as killed in combat. Captain Hill being the only survivor was then moved from to a blacksite location in Texas. Over the next six months Captain Hill was subjected to heinous experiments by this man…"

Fury then sent The Council a profile of a man that Fury hated to his core. This man in Fury's opinion was the epitome of evil.

"This is, General Thaddeus Ross. General Ross believed that Captain Hill's survival of the Gamma exposure, which resulted in her heightened strength and speed, could be reproduced. General Ross believed, and very much still believes that Captain Hill's biology is the key in the production of super soldiers."

"From what we have gathered from these documents," Fury paused to flick a few medical files to each council members screen, "General Ross and his team of doctors believed they were very close to reproducing a super solider serum. But before it could be perfected Captain Hill somehow escaped from the black site. Without Captain Hill at his disposal General Ross, against the recommendations of his researchers, continued with his research to create a super soldier serum. Last year as you all remember, General Ross's lead scientist Bruce Banner was exposed to the same levels of Gama that Captain Hill was one year prior, but with catastrophic results, resulting in who we now know as the Hulk."

The silence in the room was defining as the council member all absorbed the information being thrown at them. Fury waited a minute before accessing the helicarrier's video surveillance system and flicked the footage of Hill's first day of training over to The Council members.

"As you can see, she is fast, very fast," said Fury as they watched Hill pass by the new recruits as if they were running still. The screen then cut to the footage of Hill assembling her gun and then her trial at the gun range. "She assembled her SHIELD issued firearm in 25 seconds and completed weapons training in 5 minutes."

The screen then cut to the footage of Hill and Romanoff sparing, the council and Fury watched as the two traded punches and kicks at lightning speed. "She is also the only person on this ship that can last in the ring with the Black Widow."

"Captain Hill's mere presence has already boosted the crew's morale. The crew is talking. Her identity as the Captain of the Black Angels and her tactical abilities that she revealed today in training is spreading like wildfire through the ship. The Black Angels were credited in saving a lot of lives over their four tours in Iraq and Afghanistan. Many crew members on this ship are here because of Captain Hill and her team."

"Given time Captain Maria Hill will become one of the best Agents SHIELD has ever seen. She may be isolated, unbalanced even, but I believe with the right push she can be exactly what we need."

"You believe?"

"War isn't won by sentiment, Director."

"No," said Fury shaking his head as he stared up at the Council members, "It's won by soldiers."

She was stripped naked and on her back. The cloth tied around her head and over her mouth made it difficult to breathe. The metal frame of the bed was digging painfully into her back. Her legs were spread and strapped to the bed, her arms strapped above her. The straps were tight as they dug painfully into her wrists and ankles. She could feel the blood trickling down her arm as they cut into her skin.

The smell of peppermint oil under her nose burned and her eyes watered. She knew it was meant to increase her sensitivity for what was about to come and to also keep her from passing out.

She looked to the right to see a control box that was hooked into the far wall socket. The two wires leading from the control box were lying next to her bed waiting to be hooked up to her body. The one wire already had a wooden insulated handle. This led her to believe that they were going to create a current flow though her body. The two electrodes would maximize her pain. She stared at the lone wire wondering where it would be placed. The more sensitive the spot the greater the pain.

It was then her eyes came to rest on a bowl of water and inside a soaking steel wool pan scrub. Her stomach turned and she closed her eyes, trying to fight the vomit from coming up her throat. She took a steadying breath through her nose to calm herself. She could not vomit in this position. She couldn't move and gag would insure that she would choke to death on her own vomit.

It took a few moments to get her breathing under control and her stomach to settle before she was able to open her eyes again. She turned her head again to see the steel wool pan scrub sitting in a bowl of water. She has heard of this type of torture. The wire would be attached to the pan scrub and then inserted "inside". It was after all one of the most sensitive parts on a woman's body.

The lights suddenly shut off and the door crashed open. Her head turned quickly and she had to squint to see the form of a man standing in the doorway. The dim light coming from the hallway gave the man an eerie presence. Most likely planned.

"Captain Hill," said the man, his voice had a distinct accent. She couldn't place it. "General Ross says that you are in need of a little persuasion."

Rage consumed her as she stared at the blacked out figure of the man. She pulled on the restraints, the sound of the metal creaking under her movements echoed through the room.

The man laughed at her action.

"They told me you were strong. The bed and restraints are pure titanium. You might bend them but you won't break them Captain."

The man shut the door and the room was engulfed in complete darkness. The sound of his boots hitting the floor coming closer to her bed sounded off the walls. They finally stopped right next to the control box.

"I believe you know what is about to happen Captain," said the man. He paused as the distinct sound water dripping on the floor filled the void of silence. The scratching sound of the metal being wrapped around the pan scrub had her fighting the restraints again.

"Yes you know exactly what is going to happen."

That is when she felt the water droplets. It started on her chest and made its way down, landing on her stomach…then her hip. A rough hand gripped her hip firmly.

"Don't fight it Captain. It will only hurt worse."

She screamed out to him in rage, her screams muffled into the gag as she felt a knee being firmly planted on her other hip, pinning her onto the bed and few seconds later…pain.

"Yes I would imagine that would hurt very much," said the man removing his hand and knee from her hip. The electrode was placed exactly where he wanted.

She felt tears running down her face. She tried to move but any movement had her wincing as pain shot from her center.

The man tinkered by her bed for a few minutes and then he went silent.

"Are you ready Captain?"

She tried to talk through the gag but it just came out muffled.

"What was that?" asked the man condescendingly. He reached forward and moved the gag down to her chin. "Are you ready to play by the General's rules Captain?"

She took a deep breath before letting out a weak chuckle.

"Fuckkkk…youuu," she choked out.

The man laughed at her words before reaching forward and moving the gag back in place.

"You have spirit Captain. I will enjoy breaking it."

The sound of a switch being turned on sounded. Her body instantly contracted at the pain that stretched through her lower body and up her back.

The small electrical surges that came from the grounded wire in the man's hand created a small light. The man held the grounded wire up by his face and it let out just enough light for her to make out a well-trimmed beard surrounding a menacing smirk.

"Let's start, shall we?"

The light moved to her body quickly and then there was nothing put pain. Her body surged from the bed as her muscles violently contracted. The sound of her screams, even muffled echoed through the room.

Maria screamed as she shot forward in her bed. Her stomach turned and her hand shot up to her mouth hoping to stop what was coming up. She moved to the bathroom quickly and reached the toilet just in time as she emptied her stomach into the bowl. She heaved into the bowl for a few minutes before her stomach was completely empty. The dry heaving continued for another minute before she was finally able to steady herself.

She rolled to her right and placed her back against the glass shower door. Her chest was heaving and her sweat covered back slipped up and down on the glass door with every breath. She leaned her head back against the shower door and stared at the ceiling.

"I am not there…I am not there," she whispered to herself. "They can't touch me anymore…I am safe…I am safe. I am safe."

She laughed a little at how ridiculous she sounded. Phil told her a while back that he used coping statement's to help with his nightmares. He told her it helped him convince himself that his nightmare wasn't real. He suggested she try it. She did and even though she doesn't believe it works she still continues to do it. It's all she has.

"Computer what time is it?"

"It is 0300 Commander Hill."

Maria took a deep breath and nodded to herself. She couldn't sleep. She knew if she shut her eyes she would just fall right back into that nightmare. No…she refused to go back to sleep. She refused to see that smirk again. To feel that pain.

She shakily got to her feet and threw on her workout gear. She snapped her sunglasses in place and walked out the door. The gym would be empty at this time of night and she had some rage that she really needed to get out on a punching bag.

A few minutes later she made her way to the gym. She pushed open the door expecting to hear silence but the distinct sound of fists being thrown into a punching bag reached her ears.

Her brow furrowed, who would be up this early?

She followed the sounds across the gym. She rounded the sparring ring to see a sweaty Natasha Romanoff in sweatpants and a sports bra furiously punching the bag. Maria watched her for a few seconds before speaking.

"I thought I was the only person crazy enough to be here at 0300."

She watched as Romanoff halted her punches, practically freezing in place at her words. Romanoff gave the bag one final powerful blow before turning to Maria.

"This is the only time I can get a good workout in without being bothered," said Romanoff quirking her eyebrow.

Maria grimaced realizing that she just "bothered" Romanoff during her workout.

"Okay well…I just wanted to see who else was here before I started my workout. I came to work the bags for a bit."

Romanoff smirked at her before nodding.

"Have a good workout Commander."

Maria's lips twitched just slightly.

"You too Agent Romanoff. Sorry for interrupting," and with that she moved to the bag next to Romanoff.

The sound of Romanoff going back to the bag erased any nervousness she felt about working out in front of the woman. The woman was all business and Maria appreciated that.

Maria's eyes trained on the bag in front of her and she let everything else fall away. She started a good rhythm of punches. She bounced on her toes, circling the bag warming up.

After about fifteen minutes her punches became stronger. She no longer circled the bag and instead worked on her power. She landed a hard right hook to the bag before pausing, her eyes closing as she fought to regain her breath. The darkness surrounded her and that menacing smirk appeared in her mind.

Maria growled and opened her eyes and let loose on the bag. With every swing she gave everything she had, as if she were trying to fight off the memory itself.

"You have spirit Captain…I will enjoy breaking it."

Maria's rage kept building as she continued punching the bag, even harder now.

The sound of a switch being turned on and an electrical current being started and then the distinct sound it made when it touched her body. Her muffled screams echoing through the room.

She closes her eyes trying to will away her screams as she goes at the bag even harder now.

"She isn't breaking sir."

"I need her broken in order to build her up."

"May I suggest something sir."

"Yes Blonsky."

"She is a proud woman sir. Perhaps breaking her through other means…would work."

Maria's eyes shot wide and she pummels the bag with everything. The sound of the bag ripping isn't heard as the memories become too much. She can't physically stop herself even if she could.

She was tied to the bed again. The distinct sound of a zipper being pulled down…

Rage consumes her and she pulls her fist back and with all her might she punches the bag. The bag tears open and it is ripped clean off its chain landing ten feet away, its contents spilling onto the ground. Maria stared at the broken bag on the ground as her chest heaved. Her arms collapsed to her sides in exhaustion.

"Why do I get the feeling that you held back in our sparring session Commander?"

Maria whipped her head around at the sound question to see Romanoff staring at a smirk on her face but her eyes were cautious. Maria watched as Romanoff stared from her to the broken bag then back to Maria.

"Can't sleep?" guessed Romanoff.

Maria placed her hands on her hips and stared up at the ceiling but not before nodding at Romanoff's question.

"Night terrors, right?" asked Romanoff not waiting to see Maria's acknowledgement of her question. "I get them too."

The vulnerability Romanoff's voice had Maria bringing her gaze back to her. Romanoff shifted uncomfortably under Maria's gaze.

"Did you try Coulson's famous 'coping statement'?" asked Romanoff smirking clearly trying to lighten the mood.

Maria was too exhausted to stop the chuckle from escaping her lips at Romanoff's question.

"He give you that speech as well?"

Romanoff nodded crossing her arms across her chest. "During my reprogramming I frequently suffered from night terrors. Coulson being my handler tried to help the best he could. He frequently spoke about coping statements and replacing negative thoughts with positive ones.

"Sounds like Phil," nodded Maria, "they work for you?"

"No. Not in the slightest." Romanoff scoffed. "But don't tell Coulson, he thinks they help," she added quickly after.

Maria shrugged.

"I won't tell him that they don't help you if you do the same for me. I don't need him worrying either."

"Deal."

Maria sighed and rolled her neck back and forth and stretched her shoulders. "I am going to hit the showers."

Romanoff nodded before going back to her bag.

Maria reached down and grabbed the broken bag and started dragging it to the end of the gym. She only made it about ten feet when she heard Romanoff speak again.

"You know why I think Coulson's coping statements don't work on us?"

Maria stopped and turned to stare at Romanoff over her shoulder.

"They help Coulson convince himself that the nightmares aren't real. That they are just a figment of his imagination. But it's different with us, isn't it?" Romanoff paused, her haunted green eyes boring into Maria.

"It isn't our imagination playing tricks on us. We can't convince ourselves that they aren't real because they happened. They are real. The difference between us and Coulson is that when he wakes up, his nightmare ends—ours never leave us."

Maria entered the locker room and headed straight for the showers. The SHIELD woman's locker room had a few single shower stalls and an open shower room with about fifteen shower heads scattered around the room. Maria decided on the open room. The gym was empty besides Romanoff and the thought of being enclosed into the small stall made her stomach turn. Peeling off her clothes she threw them into her bag. Looking around making sure the locker room was indeed empty before reaching up and taking unclipping her sunglasses.

She made her way into the shower room, choosing the one at the far end of the wall. She reached forward and turned on the water, for a few seconds she mulled over the idea of taking a nice soothing hot shower. Making her decision she turned the knob all the way to the left as freezing cold water sprayed from the nozzle. This was exactly what she needed. A hot shower was just too comforting and the replacement of hot and enjoyable with frigid and painful was exactly what her body craved.

Entering the shower, her body clenched as the cold water splashed against her. The numbing and the prickles of pain danced across her skin as her mind began to wander. Romanoff's words echoed in her mind.

"The difference between us and Coulson is that when he wakes up, his nightmare ends—ours never leave us."

Did she make the right decision to come here and work for SHIELD? She knew it wasn't the US military but the similarities of the two organizations had her on edge. She could have maybe dealt with the loss of her team and the betrayal of being used as a lab experiment for surviving but what happened after…that was something she could never forget. She escaped, eventually but she didn't leave that place whole. A part of her died in that place and it was replaced by something else entirely.

The anger and hate that coursed through Maria's body every second of every day since losing her team and then only to be tortured by the same men she fought side by side with….it was all consuming. The pain, the betrayal, everything they did would always be with her. Her team screaming out in pain for days, weeks even. Matt lasted a month before she lost him. Every single one of them called out to her, begging her for help. Those screams will forever haunt her mind. Was it wrong for her to want to make them pay for everything that they had done?

Both Coulson and Fury assured her that they were different, that they were the good guys and she believed them when they said that. But if she was being honest with herself she didn't know if she was the good guy anymore. After Maria escaped from the black site an internal battle with herself ensued.

She knew there was still some good in her. It always took the shape of her as a nineteen year old Private who believed sacrifice, saving lives and fighting for her county.

But the bad was also there, taking the shape of a twenty-nine year old Captain strapped to a gurney screaming out in pain, haunted by the death of her team, with an overwhelming thirst for revenge.

In that moment, as the freezing water pounded down on her shoulders, she wasn't sure who was winning—the good or the bad.

When Natasha entered the locker room she was surprised to hear the shower running in the rarely used open shower in the back part of the room. The gym was still empty so that meant the Commander must be back there. Natasha was never shy about nudity but she noticed in the first couple months on the SHIELD helicarrier that all the female Agents and crew members all showered in the personal stalls. Not wanting to shake the boat she followed suit, but never really understanding why the woman of SHIELD were so self-conscious.

Grabbing her bag out of her locker, she pulled out a towel, shampoo, conditioner and body wash. Natasha gingerly slipped out of workout gear. To be honest she was still sore from the spar with the Commander a couple days ago. It has been a very long time since she had a spar like that, and her muscles ached in the best possible way.

Natasha began to walk towards the back shower room and as she rounded a corner she was greeted with a breathtaking sight.

There in all her glory was Commander Hill. Her back was turned to Natasha as her head was down and her hands were braced against the wall as the water roll down her back.

Natasha eyes followed the flowing water and was surprised to find that Commander Hill's tattoos didn't stop at her arms but rather flowed into her shoulders. Accompanying her arm and shoulder tattoos was a very large pair of wings extending fully down her back, the ends of the wings stopping just below her hips.

Not being able to take her eyes off of her Natasha couldn't help but be drawn to the woman. She was breathtaking in every way. She was strong. The muscles in her back and arms flexed as the water continued to rain down on her. The woman exuded a sense of power that made those around her feel small. She was downright scary. She was like fire, beautiful but dangerous.

After staring for far too long Natasha entered the shower room and picked the showerhead farthest away from the Commander. If the woman heard her enter the room or turn on her shower she didn't react.

Fifteen minutes later Natasha washed the conditioner out of her hair but she couldn't help the continuing to glance over at the Commander, noticing that woman had not moved a muscle. Her hands were still up against the shower wall and her head was still hanging low as the water continued to pound down on her shoulders.

Natasha once again watched the water cascade down the woman's body but now from a closer distance she could see the slight tremors run through the Commanders back. Shutting off her water Natasha stared. What was going on?

Natasha watched as the Commanders back and shoulder clenched and then released, clench and then released. Against her better judgement she grabbed her towel and walked slowly towards the Commander. Natasha was finally close enough to the woman that she felt a few splashes of water on her chest. Natasha gasped at the feeling of the freezing cold water hitting her.

Coming closer, Natasha couldn't stop the shiver that made its way through her body as the freezing water began hitting more. Now that she was closer she could see that the Commander's entire body was shaking. Natasha thought about touching her, but the tenseness in the Commander's body wasn't just from the freezing water, something was going on here, and Natasha had this gut feeling that if she touched this woman she would end up on her ass.

Reaching forward slowly, not trying to startle the woman, Natasha grasped the shower knob and slowly shut the water off. Pulling her hand back she waited.

Slowly she watched the tremors in the Commanders body lessen. Minutes went by before Natasha watched the first movement she had seen from the woman since she first entered the shower room. The Commander's head slowly rose before turning to stare at Natasha.

Her jet black hair was dripping wet and plastered to her face as water droplets continued to drop from her hair, then down her face. Natasha followed the water's movements down her face she was sucked into those eyes. They were completely black. There was no differentiation between the sclera, pupil, or iris…it was all black wait…no…they were dark red. A red so dark that it looked black. Natasha now understood why the Commander wore sunglasses. Her eyes were ominous to say the least. Natasha found herself looking closer though, and she was surprised that even with completely red eyes she could read the emotion in them. They looked so dark, clouded…lost.

Natasha knew this look. She would sometimes find the same haunted green eyes staring back at her in the mirror over the years. The Commander didn't need to say. One look into those eyes told Natasha everything. In those eyes she could see the pain, the sorrow, the hate as clearly as if the Commander was speaking her thoughts and emotions aloud.

Reaching forward she offered the shaking woman her towel.

Natasha watched as the Commander looked down at the offered towel and then back up to her. The Commander reached forward and grabbed the towel as their fingers brushed just slightly. Natasha watched as the Commander stared down at that their barely touching fingers.

Neither woman moved as they both stood there. The intimacy of the moment seeming to freeze both of them.

Natasha watched as the woman before her seemed to straighten as she followed Natasha's fingers, up her arm, over her shoulder and then finally their eyes met.

Natasha's chest constricted painfully as she forgot to breathe, her green eyes boring into the Commander's now bright blue eyes. What triggered the change in the Commander's eyes was unknown to Natasha but nonetheless it was a beautiful sight to behold. To say that her eyes were blue was like saying the sun was yellow. Sufficient but not accurate enough to capture the burning.

The vulnerability in those blue eyes as the Commander stood before Natasha was beautiful, and terrifying. The Commander stood there as she was. There were no walls, no false fronts and no lies. She showed Natasha the fire within her heart and storm brewing in her soul.

Natasha stood their silently, recognizing the beauty amongst the chaos. Breaking eye contact with her Natasha began to move her hand as they traveled up the Commanders ring finger. Natasha moved slowly, tracing every curve, bump and wrinkle of the Commanders skin, her fingers leaving an electric crackle in its wake, before her hands made its way to the top of the Commanders.

Natasha traced the back of the Commanders hand for a few moments before bringing her eyes back up. Natasha lowered her own walls as she showed the Commander the storm and fire that brewed within herself. Black eyes bore into green as she felt the Commanders other hand come up and grasp the towel beneath their hands as her other slow turned over under Natasha's fingertips. Natasha's skin came alive at the feeling of the Commanders fingertips tracing small intricate patterns into her palms.

They showed each other the fire that ran wild within their souls and together, despite the fear of being burned, they set each other ablaze. Their fingertips danced in the flames.

Maria doesn't know who moved first but as a painful tremor made its way through her body and goosebumps began to appear down her arms. She noticed their hands were no longer touching. The loss of contact seemed to break them out of their daze.

Maria watched as Romanoff seemed to realize the moment between them was gone. Her eyes lingering on Maria's face, confusion evident in her eyes before giving Maria one last look before walking out of the shower room.

As soon as Maria reached her locker she quickly fastened her glasses back on. Neither one of them spoke as they got dressed. The foreign feeling in Maria's chest made her move at a faster pace. She was finally dressed and she began to walk out of the locker room, pausing just slightly by Romanoff as she gave her a nod.

"Agent Romanoff."

Maria watched as Romanoff looked up from tying her shoes. Romanoff's wall was back up and Maria could not read her. Maria watched as Romanoff sat up and leaned back on the bench, her hands placed behind her, holding her up. Romanoff smirked at her before speaking.

"Seeing as we just saw each other naked, I believe Agent Romanoff is a little formal, don't you?"

Maria had to fight back the mental images of a naked Natasha Romanoff that were now engraved into her brain. The woman was breathtaking.

Natasha spoke, "Natasha, my name is Natasha."

Maria paused as she thought about this before speaking.

"Okay, Natasha," she nodded. Natasha's name foreign on her tongue but nonetheless rolling off her tongue with ease.

Maria began to walk out of the room before she reached the door she heard Natasha call out to her behind her.

"You know generally when someone extends you the courtesy of calling them by their first name it is usually reciprocated."

Maria paused in the door before turning. Natasha smirking at her, now standing with her arms crossed over chest, her eyes shining brightly with amusement.

"While in front of the crew and fellow Agents you will address me as Commander Hill."

Natasha easily saw the opening in her statement.

"And when we are not in front of the crew?"

Maria gave Natasha a small smile before speaking softly.

"Maria, my name is Maria."

And with that, she walked out the door.

Notes:

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