Summary: "If you don't stop talking to me, I WILL hex you," I told James. The prat shut up and stared at me. Eh, I'll hex him anyway. Do NOT annoy Lily Evans.
Disclaimer: I'm going to get a bullet proof shield and a rocket launcher. See if those lawyers can take me to court THEN! Muahahahahahahaha! Er, yeah…
Chip and I were carrying two cages of pixies to our DADA class, on McGonagall's orders. See, 'cos Mickey trusts us. ::evil grin::. However, we were stopped dead in our tracks as a vat of purple gooey stuff was released on our heads. I'll give you one guess whose fault this is. It helps if you look a bit over to our right, where the 'Marauders' are laughing their asses off. I very calmly, and I stress calmly, scourgified myself. Because I am far more emotionally and magically mature than those prats.
Chip threw herself at Black. Speaking of maturity… Go Chip, go! Ooh, I should start taking bets! Nah, Chip'd have all the votes, that's for sure. The two second years tussled around on the ground, Sirius getting rather covered in this purple slime.
"Wow, Evans, didn't know your little friend was so eager!" Called Potter, smirking.
"Shut up, you perverted bastard!" I yelled back. Slughorn waded through the crowd. I immediately adopted the attitude of 'woe is me, those silly Marauders have taken advantage of my friend and me again.'
"Alright, who started it?"
"Those Marauders," I piped up, my eyes wide. "They dumped this disgusting stuff on Chip and myself, then that Black simply attacked her!" Everyone in the hallway rolled their eyes behind the professor. Of course, everyone was grinning, so… well, except the Marauders.
"It's okay, Lily," the professor said gently. ::inward evil smirk:: Slughorn worships the ground I brew potions on. His face hardened as he turned to the erring boys. I smirked at them around the professor's wide back. "Detention for a week, all three of you." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! It only would've been for, say, a day or two if I wasn't Slughorn's favorite. He left, and I once again pulled Chip up from the ground, quietly cleaning her up.
"Evans, you—" I looked up at Potter, silencing him with an evil grin.
"Can't take what you give, Potter?"
Potter leaned down to me. "That was a single battle, Evans," he hissed. "And this is a war."
As one, Chip and I smirked and snapped our fingers. The doors to the pixie cages swung open. The strange little blue things attacked the Marauders. Chip and I backed into a corner, pretending to look frightened.
"What is this?" asked McGonagall.
"The boys thought it would be funny to release the pixies on us, Professor!" Chip said, her voice quavering.
McGonagall gave the boys a long look. "You three. Detention for a week."
"But, we already have detention for a week!" Black said. Dumbass.
"Then you have it for two weeks, Mr. Black. Addition is a simple concept." The professor walked back to her classroom in a swirl of robes. "Come on, Ladies. Leave the cages for the boys to put the pixies in. I'll come with you two to make your excuses to the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor."
"Thank you, Professor," we chorused quietly, walking slightly behind our superior. You know, I must admire the way this woman dresses. Seriously! Rich velvet, and that lovely broach at her throat! If only she'd do something with her hair… Okay, so I'm getting distracted again. We turned around and made faces at the boys standing behind us. This makes what? Girls… goodness, I think I've lost track….
"Girls: 59, boys: 0," Chip said as we found our seats. Mickey was talking to Lancet, our professor. When will those silly boys learn? They just can't win! Mickey left, and eventually the Marauders walked in.
"Boys!" Barked the professor. "You're late! Since the rest of your House was on time, I don't want to take House Points, so, we'll settle on detention." The boys winced and wordlessly nodded. Professor Lancet returned to the lesson. "Now, pixies…"
I pulled out my note-taking materials and began taking notes, occasionally sipping from a flask. Two guesses as to what it has in it! Chip slid a piece of paper over to me. On it was written her hand writing in a brilliant sapphire blue.
Is that a flask?
Yes. I wrote back in my own token emerald ink.
There's maple syrup in it, isn't there? Ding, ding, ding, we have a winner!
Yeah, want some?
That's disgusting.
I shrugged and returned my attention to professor Lancet. Something hit me in the back of my head. I whipped around in my seat to find three very innocent looking Marauders. Since Marauders are hardly innocent, I pretty much figured out who hit me in the back of the head. And the Genius of the Year Award goes to…
Oh, look, they had hit me in the head with a wad of paper! Let's see what it says, shall we?
Is that a flask, Evans? Five o'clock somewhere, eh?
-JP
Piss off, Potter.
-LE
I tossed the note behind me. Unfortunately, it hit Black. He opened the note and scribbled something down on it. Next, it hit Chip on the back of the head. She rolled her eyes and opened it.
Ya know, Poseidon, I had no idea you were that eager to get on the ground with me.
-SB
"Oh, for the love of—gimme that," she said, tearing the flask from my grasp and guzzling the entire contents.
"Hey!"
"It's for the greater good, love, trust me."
Black, if I wanted to see you on the floor, I'd Avada you.
-CP
ps—I didn't know you could spellPoseidon!
Chip tossed the note backwards. Potter read my earlier statement to him. Black read Chip's response.
That hurts me, love! I'll have you know that I'm a very accomplished speller.
-SB
Please! I'm surprised you can even spell your name!
-CP
He can't, you goose! That's why he's writing his initials.
-LE
Hey, an insult to my mate is an insult to me!
-JP
Yes! Two in one, we strike the gay lovers down!
-LE
Again!
-CP
WE'RE NOT GAY!
-SB
However, you DO sound schizophrenic, what with that 'we'.
-LE
But seriously. You guys do spend a disgusting amount of time together to still be 'MANLY MEN'.
-CP
That's a very good point.
-LE
I think you greatly misunderstand 'male bonding' and being gay.
-JP
Aka, WE'RE NOT GAY!!
-SB
Don't worry, Potter, I'm not at all offended by your lifestyle. I think you, Lupin, and Black would make a cute… trio, actually.
-LE
James was busy scrawling a furious retort, when I saw professor Lancet lean over James and slide the paper out from under his quill. Potter and Black went kind of white. Haha, get it? Black, white? HAHAHA… okay, shut up. I'm maple syrup deprived.
The handsome young professor read the note over, then looked at us all. "Now, if we're done discussing Potter, Lupin, and Black's… er, mutual love interests, let's continue the lesson." The entire class cracked up laughing, except the three Marauders. They turned beet red and sank down in their chairs.
"As I was saying…"
"Girls: 60, boys: zilch!" I whispered to Chip.
She grinned evilly. "And just five years to go!"
If only we had understood what that statement was going to bring upon us.
A/N: Like what you're reading? Lemme know!