This section follows pgs. 507 – 511

I've edited and/or left out some dialogue as I felt that all I was doing was re-typing Stephenie Meyer's text. I figure you all know how it goes. Apologies if it bothers anyone.

As usual, I don't own Twilight.

Salvation – part 3

She'd been through too much in the last few days. Our release from the Volturi had been extremely lucky, though the conditions of it were unsettling. When I watched her sleep, it was impossible to even consider damning her to this eternity. Yes, Alice's visions had shown Bella as one of us but decisions could be made and futures altered.

It'd taken some convincing that I wasn't a hallucination but very real. There was no way I would ever leave her side again. The pain on both our parts made it a useless endeavour. The hurt I'd caused was apparent in her face; I could see that she believed I would leave again at any second. Why was it so easy for her to believe I didn't want her, didn't love her? The thought to me was beyond ridiculous. I needed her, she was my lifeline. Without her, I would cease to exist. However, what Bella was saying now was disturbing. To think that I'd broken her confidence in me badly enough that she thought I'd tried to die solely out of guilt. What on earth was going through that head of hers? It wasn't the first time I desperately wished I could read her mind.

"Isabella Marie Swan," I said, my voice hoarse with emotion. "Do you believe I asked the Volturi to kill me because I felt guilty?"

"Didn't you?" Her face showed her confusion.

"Feel guilty? Intensely so. More than you can comprehend." Of course I felt guilty, I had driven her to the 'sport', which had caused such chaos for us.

"Then…what are you saying? I don't understand."

I closed my eyes. The pain of Bella's disbelief was nearly too much to bear. But I had to explain, to make her trust me again.

"Bella, I went to the Volturi because I thought you were dead. Even if I'd had no hand in your death - even if it wasn't my fault, I would have gone to Italy."

As I said this I couldn't help shudder, for a full two days I had believed Bella to be dead. The memory of the phone call was all too clear. I continued to ramble on, trying to convince her that I'd gone to Italy because my life meant nothing without her. What were the chances that Charlie would've been at a funeral just when Rosalie had told me Bella was dead?

"The odds…" I mumbled. "The odds are always stacked against us. Mistake after mistake. I'll never criticize Romeo again." Both Romeo and I had hurt out loved ones so deeply.

"But I still don't understand, that's my whole point. So what?" Bella said.

The frustration of not knowing her thoughts grew to epic proportions.

"Excuse me?" I was taken aback.

"So what if I was dead?"

Could she possibly be serious? Was she listening to anything I'd told her? I stared at her, as if by doing so I could finally see into her mind.

"Don't you remember anything I told you before?" I asked.

"I remember everything that you told me." She said, her face falling. It didn't take my talent to see she was recalling the lie I'd told her when I left. I touched her lip, which she'd been biting.

"Bella, you seem to be under a misapprehension. I thought I'd explained it clearly before. Bella, I can't live in a world where you don't exist."

Brown eyes looked guilelessly at me.

"I am…confused." She finished.

"I'm a good liar, Bella, I have to be." I had meant that in order to leave her I'd needed to lie effectively enough for her to believe and let me go. I saw Bella stiffen, heard her sharp intake of breath. Most disconcerting, I saw pain flash through her eyes.

"Let me finish!" I shook her for emphasis. "I'm a good liar, but still, for you to believe me so quickly. That was…excruciating."

I struggled to remain in control, as I thought back to that night. My incredulity when she accepted my words so easily. Knowing that she was so quick to believe I didn't love her had been agonizing.

"You weren't going to let go. I could see that. I didn't want to do it – it felt like it would kill me to do it – but I knew that if I couldn't convince you that I didn't love you anymore, it would take you that much longer to get on with your life. I hoped that, if you thought I'd moved on, so would you."

"A clean break." Bella whispered.

"Exactly. But I never imagined it would be so easy to do! I thought it would be next to impossible – that you would be so sure of the truth that I would have to lie through my teeth for hours to even plant the seed of doubt in your head…"

Bella was simply staring at me, unable to digest what I'd just said. I ran a hand through my hair. I wasn't getting through to her. I could've laughed from the absurdity of it all. My stubborn beautiful Bella. I was running out of ways to persuade her. I kept at it until suddenly, she was crying, declaring she was dreaming. She wasn't going to believe me. If she'd only really look into my face she'd see the truth written there, plain as the sun.

"You don't believe me, do you?" I was desperate to make her see. "Why can you believe the lie, but not the truth?"

"It never made sense for you to love me, I always knew that." Her voice broke as she spoke.

Why, why did she continue to entertain the notion that I was somehow better than she? Why did she think of me as her salvation when, in reality, she was mine? I was the unnatural monster, she still had her soul, her humanity. In what world did that make me a superior being?

My eyes narrowed. I was going to make her believe me if it was the last thing I did. I would never never leave her again. She was everything to me and I couldn't live without her.

I just had to make her see.

A/N: I know I skipped alot but I've been wanting to write this scene since I first read the book! I would love to know what you think.