A/n: Hey everyone! I'm sorry it took so long to update! I've been busy with LaX and school and such.
Thanks to my beta, saralynfara! :)
Last
time:
"He's dating someone else!" Sirius sobbed.
"Before, when he didn't like me I just told myself that it was
because he didn't like guys! Now, it's not that he doesn't like guys,
he just doesn't like me! I'd rather he be straight than him be gay
and dating someone else!"
James hugged his friend. "It'll
be okay, Sirius. You know what you should do? You should date someone
else. I'm sure there are plenty of people in school that'd be happy
to date you. You never know, it could make him jealous.
Sirius
looked at James. "Okay. I'll find someone."
This
time:
Sirius wandered around the corridors, thinking about what
he had told James. It didn't seem possible for Sirius to be able to
find anyone to date for any length of time that wasn't Remus. He
sighed.
"Gods, why did this have to happen to me?"
Sirius muttered to the floor. "I hate my life."
"What
a pity," came an answer, the voice echoing off the stone walls
of the hall.
"Who's there?" Sirius asked, looking
around. At first, he saw no one. It wasn't until someone stepped out
of the shadows that Sirius saw who it was.
"Regulus?"
Sirius asked, bewildered. "What are you doing here?"
"I
had a feeling that something was wrong when I saw you walking
earlier, so I followed you", Regulus answered, shrugging.
"But... why?"
Concern showed in Regulus' eyes
when he said, "Sirius, you may be disowned by Mother, but you're
still my brother. I still look up to you, even if you don't realize
it or think I care. So what's wrong?"
"Promise you
won't hate me even more?" Sirius bit his lip hard, glancing at
Regulus for a moment before looking back at the floor.
"I
don't hate you, Sirius. Just tell me!"
"Okay."
Sirius took a deep breath. "Well, I... I'm gay."
"Knew
that already, but okay."
"Wait, what? How did you
know?" Sirius was even more confused. He hadn't talked to
Regulus in such a long time; how did Regulus know?
"Again,
I'm your brother. I just know these things." Regulus teased. "
Besides, I'm bi. So, how does that make your life suck?"
"You
remember Remus?"
"The half-breed?" Sirius
flinched. "Oops, sorry. Your friend, Remus? The frail one?"
"Yeah."
"What about him?"
"Well,
I might be... um... well..."
"Let
me guess, you're in love with him?"
"Yeah."
"Well, I think he's gay too, I mean he acts like it, so why
does that suck so much for you?"
Sirius sighed again.
"Well, first off, he won't even look at me anymore! We've been
back for two weeks, and I still don't know what I did! It was such a
sudden change, I don't know if I can handle not talking to him much
longer...." he choked back a sob. "And now he's dating this
new guy, Adrien!" Sirius broke down and started to cry. He
leaned against the wall to steady himself.
Regulus hesitated
before walking over and hugging the elder Black. "Shh, it's
okay, Sirius. It'll be fine. Hey, I have an idea."
"What's
your idea?"
"I know of a couple of gay Slytherins who
would love to have a good time with a Black."
"Oh,
wow, Reg...."
"So, want me to talk to some of them?"
"Sure, why not. Not like it could make any of this any
worse."
"That's the spirit. I'll meet you by the lake
in an hour."
OoOoOo
"Getting
ready for your date?" James asked as he walked into the dorm.
Remus, who had just gotten out of the shower, nodded. "When is
it?"
"I'm supposed to be meeting Adrien at 7 o'clock
outside of the Great Hall," Remus answered, drying his hair off
with a towel.
"Fun," James said, a sarcastic twinge in
his voice. Remus rolled his eyes. "Hey, Rem, can I ask you
something?"
"As long as it's not about Siri-us,"
he said, adding the last syllable of Sirius' name once he realized he
was using his nickname for Sirius.
"It is. Rem, why can't
you just be friends with him again? It's destroying him!"
"Yeah, right..." Remus muttered. "Like me not
talking to him would mess with him that much..."
"Oh,
you have no
idea
Remus. None at all," James said, storming out of the room.
"What the hell was that about?" Remus wondered aloud.
He shrugged it off, looking at the clock. 6:45. Time for him to go
down to the Great Hall for his date.
OoOoOo
Sirius
threw a rock into the lake, his mind all over the place. I
miss you so much Remy....
He sat down on the ground and put his head in his hands.
Rawr.
"Hey,
Sirius!" came the sound of Regulus' voice from behind him. "I
have some people that I want you to meet."
Sirius didn't
bother looking behind him as he said, "Just come over here. I'm
not in the mood the get up."
"Mk." Regulus
brought the group of guys over. He sighed as he looked at the
crest-fallen look on his
brother's face. He started to point out the men. "Okay, so this
is Mark, seventh year. Leon, sixth year. Blake, sixth year.
Hamiltonians, seventh year. Finally, my best friend, Jeremie Landens,
fourth year." He sent a fond look his friend's way. "So,
who do you want to 'date' to make Remus jealous?"
"I'd
feel bad 'dating' any of them, though. I'd feel like I was using
them!"
"Believe me, we won't feel used," said the
tall red-head, Mark.
"Yeah, it'd be fun," agreed
Jeremie, winking. Regulus winced, his eyes showing annoyance.
Sirius laughed. "Well, I guess if I must choose..."
"Choose me," Leon teased before bursting out in
laughter.
"I'd like to date a Black..." Jeremie
mumbled quietly, hoping no one heard the hope in his voice. Regulus
heard him, and a pained expression took over his face. Sirius' eyes
opened in understanding.
"Reg, can I talk to you for a
minute? Alone?" Sirius asked. Regulus nodded, and Sirius pulled
him ten yards away from the group.
"What's up, Sirius?"
the younger boy asked, his voice shaking slightly.
"Reg,
why did you bring Jeremie here? It's obvious that you really, really
like him! I don't get why he would be one of the guys that you'd
bring to date your brother!" Sirius exclaimed.
"He
likes you.. I just want him to be happy. I love him so much... but I
know that he wouldn't ever want me," Regulus said quietly. An
idea popped into Sirius' head. Maybe,
just
maybe,
this
will
work....
Sirius nodded before leading Regulus back to the group.
"So,
Leon, ready to be my fake boyfriend?" Sirius asked.
"Oh,
of course, dearest!" Leon said, fake swooning. Sirius started
laughing.
"Oh, my love!" Sirius managed to say through
his laughter. "Hey, I'll meet you up at the school, okay?"
Leon nodded and began to walk. The other men began to leave as well.
"Hey, Jeremie, Reg, stay here for a minute, okay?" Regulus
shot his brother a what do you think you're doing? look.
"Jeremie,
I think Regulus has something that he needs to tell you. Isn't that
right, Reg?" Sirius asked, giving his brother a pointed
look.
"What? Uh, no! Why would I have anything that I need
to tell you? It's not like I'm keeping anything inside, no, of course
not!" Regulus said in a rushed breath. He darted his eyes
around, looking at anything except for Jeremie and Sirius.
"Oh,
for God's sake..." Sirius muttered. "Jeremie, he's in love
with you." Jeremie's mouth dropped.
"He-what?"
Jeremie said, his eyes wide.
"Sirius!" Regulus
shouted. "Why the hell did you have to tell him? He doesn't love
me!"
"What do you mean, I don't love you?"
Jeremie asked.
"You said you want to date a Black! You want
to date my brother! You love him, not me," Regulus said, looking
down.
"Idiot," Jeremie chuckled, pulling Regulus into
a hug. "I love you! You're a Black, too, you know! I want to
date you, not your brother!"
"O-oh. Yeah!"
Regulus smiled and kissed his new-found lover. Sirius coughed.
"That's good, that that guy you love loves you back,"
Sirius said, forcing a smile.
"I'm
sorry, Sirius, I..."
"It's okay. Thanks for helping
me, though, okay Reg? If you ever need my help, please come to me.
I'm really glad that you don't hate me. It's hard to have the entire
family hate you."
Regulus nodded. "Well, you should go
find Leon and make plans and such."
"Yeah."
OoOoOo
Around
10 o'clock that night, Remus came back from his date to find Sirius
hugging a handsome Italian guy outside of the portrait. "Bye,
Leon, see you tomorrow," he heard Sirius whisper. Remus took a
deep breath as the pair separated. He walked up behind Sirius and
followed him into the common room.
"Hey," he said
softly as Sirius walked towards the stairs. Sirius stopped dead in
his tracks before turning around to face Remus. "Hey,"
he answered, unsure of what was going on. "Decided that I do in
fact exist?" Sirius' voice cracked, and Remus could tell even in
the dim light that the fire in the common room was setting off the
Sirius was trying to hold back tears.
"Look, about that...
can we sit down?" Sirius nodded, and the pair went to sit down
on the crimson couch in front of the fire. Remus looks so beautiful
in the firelight... Sirius thought as he looked at his... what was
Remus to him now? A friend? An acquaintance? Nothing?
"Remy,
what did I do? Did I offend you in someway? What did I do wrong?"
"Nothing."
"Please tell me, Remy. I can
change. I'll do whatever it takes. I can't stand not talking to you,"
Sirius begged. "Please."
"You didn't do anything,
Siri. Believe me."
"Why don't you want to be friends
with me anymore then?" Sirius asked, confused.
"I
can't tell you."
Sirius' eyes darked with hurt and pain.
"Why not? You can tell me anything, Remy. Do you not want to be
my best friend anymore? Why?"
"I still want to be your
friend, Siri! It's just.... I... Je t'aime tellement, et je ne peux
plus supporter d'être juste un ami pour toi ! Je veux... non, j'ai
besoin
d'être plus que ça ! Ça me tue de ne pas pouvoir te dire ce que je
ressens. Mais tu me détesterais..." (1)
"Huh? Remy, I
can't understand what you are saying when you talk in French. Can't
you tell me in English?"
"I'm sorry, Siri, but I
really can't. I want to, but I can't." "Okay. Fine. But,
can we please be friends again?"
"Of course."
"Thank God," Sirius said, leaping up and hugging
Remus. Remus took a deep breath, inhaling Sirius' scent. Being in
Sirius' arms felt so right... he wanted this moment to never end.
Eventually
it had to, and the feeling of Sirius' arms around him would haunt
Remus for days.
OoOoOo
Maybe
you were right
But baby I was lonely
I don't want to fight
I'm
tired of being sorry
I'm standing in the street
Crying out for
you
No one sees me
But the silver moon
-"Tired of Being Sorry" by Enrique Iglesias
(1) ...I love you so much, and I can't handle just being your friend anymore! I want, no, need to be more than that! It's killing me that I can't just tell you how I feel. You'd hate me."
A/n: Hope you liked it! Reviews are always welcome :)
