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The ABCs of Death
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It was a few days later that Shippo made his decision. He wouldn't, couldn't bring himself to wish Kagome back from the dead, knowing she would not be the same woman she had been in life but he could try one other thing. If he sent Inuyasha back next time he passed through the well, which he did at least once every three days to pay his respects, maybe - just maybe - the threads of fate could be changed. It was possible that something very bad could happen to the kit. Everyone who ever wished on the jewel that they knew of had met a grim fate but it would be worth it if he could save her. Perhaps it was a selfish wish. No, it was a selfish wish and it was not the correct wish. Kagome had said something once about there being one true and correct wish. Still, he didn't care what happened to him. Maybe his soul would become trapped in the jewel. Maybe he'd become a blood thirsty killer. Maybe Kagome would die anyway. Still, he had to try.
And so, he crept near the box where they kept the jewel and slowly opened the small wooden container. The jewel sat there - slightly tainted as no one was able to purify it fully since Kagome was gone. It grew darker as his small furry hand reached towards it. Despite his gentle nature, he was tainted and that thought alone gave him pause. If he were tainted, just by being a youkai, then undoubtedly whatever he did would be tainted as well.
"I wish you would just disappear," Shippo spat bitterly as he pulled his hand back and angry tears slid down his cheeks as he buried his face in his hands, "Just disappear forever so I don't have to look at you anymore. Just go away."
For hours, he sat on the hut floor sobbing into his hands until the first light of dawn crept into the hut and a horror filled voice brought him out of his grief.
"Shippo, what've you done?"
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"Did. You. Wish. Her. Back?!" Inuyasha spat angrily as he violently shook the kit and his heart pounded in his chest, "Where is the fucking jewel?!"
"I don't know. I didn't wish on it," Shippo sobbed as he glanced down at the box, "I didn't...I was going to but I didn't."
"It's fucking gone! You wished for something!" Inuyasha snarled desperately, "What did you say?!"
"I wished...I wished it would disappear but...but I didn't...touch it or anything," Shippo continued to bawl - his voice hoarse from hours of misery, "I'm sorry. I didn't...I didn't mean to do it."
"You wished for it to disappear?" Inuyasha asked in a slightly hollow tone as he dropped the kit unceremoniously onto the ground, "The one thing that might've brought her back. That we could've used to save her. You wished disappeared?!"
"None of you were going to do it!" Shippo barked back bitterly as he buried his face once more, "And...and I didn't wish for it. You were right. It wouldn't be her."
In his own misery, he failed to notice the hanyou leave the hut. The broken, lost look on his face as he stumbled slightly and took in a ragged breath. The jewel was gone and with it, any chance that Kagome might be returned to him. He knew it wouldn't be right to bring her back but as long as the jewel existed, so did the hope he might see her again. He had always hoped that one day...maybe one day they could figure out the right wish. But it was pointless. The jewel was gone.
How he got to the well, he wasn't quite sure. He didn't remember having a particular destination in mind but still, he wanted to see her. Even if it was just her grave stone. He wanted to apologize for failing her in this. For failing to protect the one thing that might save her from wherever she had gone in death. He needed to see her. Apologize one last time. And then he could leave this world for good.