Sorry for the late update, I'm having final exam, and it's very annoying…
By the way, I've just read a fic (more to guidelines, actually) that nearly give me a heart attack, published in 15-01-2007, and the author is 'Sakura' followed by 742, or 724, or… I dunno, I forgot. After I read the fic, I feel pessimistic, because I was under the category: shounen-ai, bad grammar, bad spell-check, non-sense, Mary Sue, and odd pairings (like NejiGaa, because both of them never really met each other). Under those categories means that I'm also one of the bad fanfic writer. It nearly killed my mood…(gloomy)
However!! I won't be easily shot down by just that guideline fic, although I know that I'm categorized as bad. (Hey! That's just wrong kind of spirit!! Don't give up even you're bad, just felt wrong!!) Oh, just shut up! Where are we now…? Oh, the disclaimer first!
Disclaimer: If I own Naruto, there'll be a conversation like this:
--"Damnit, Naruto!!" Sasuke yelled
--"Huh? What?" Naruto was surprised.
--"I LOVE YOU!!" Sasuke screamed in frustration.
--"…??!! Whew, that's the weirdest love confession I've never heard!"
Summary: Naruto was hit by a jutsu, and his body turns into something small. Sasuke also hit by a jutsu, and his body also turns into… heheheh. NaruSasu, NejiGaa, future KisaIta and future mpreg.
No. Scratch that last sentence.
Sasuke really is not a lucky guy.
There was an unwritten rule to left the presents (after banging and screeching) outside the front door, so our shy and pretty boy Sasuke, would take it inside and open it…
'Hell no…!! I'll take it inside, throw into the fireplace, and burn it to ashes…! Did they ever learned?!'
…unfortunately, no.
So… it's 9 AM.
The Uchiha Mansion finally back to its peace.
… after countless rang of the door bell, screaming fan girls, loud door banging, and maybe some fighting between the fan girls themselves—Sasuke really hoped that they could accidentally killed each other because it would made his future days even more peaceful—the earthquake stopped, leave the Uchiha slumping down the couch, trembling in fear.
'Thanks God… I'm still alive… finally it's over…'
Sasuke brushed the sweat that trickled down from his forehead, and then he closed his face in a silent prayer. He'd better stayed home for a good 2 or 3 hours. Mission be damned. Live would still go on… right? Right!
'OK, now… cleaning the front door…' Sasuke stood up, regained composure, and began to walk to the front door, but suddenly stopped.
'Wait… what if last year thing happened again? Damn, I need Neji for this! Because there might be a huge, van-sized gift box out there…!'
Out there, which means it was only 3 meters from the spot where he stood.
'Shit! OK, calm down… (inhale) (exhale) ok…Last year, the least irritating present was the singing birthday card and chocolate frog (1). The worst is…' Sasuke gulped hardly, face went pale, '…a dozen of strip dancers that suddenly burst out from the van-sized gift box…'
Flashback- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
It was his 16th birthday last year. It was said that young people become adult when they reach their 16th. It's like what we called a sweet 17th birthday, for girls… wait, but Sasuke is a boy! Oh, those fan girls just need a reason to make a special birthday present. The Uchihas reach adulthood when they could master the fire jutsu. Anyway, back to the topic.
Sasuke remembered clearly, when he opened the front door few hours after the whole fan girls left. He thought there was nobody out there, so he thought to 'clean up' a bit before he started his daily activity.
Hmm…chocolates, flowers, plushies, a box of strawberries, cookies, and a—WTF IS THAT?!?
He was shocked by a very huge size gift box with red huge ribbon as its decoration.
How did they manage to get THAT here?!
And Sasuke began to wonder if he could burn this thing down or not, due to its size. Not that he wasn't capable, but he just didn't want to ruin his house with some flame bruise or over-burned it so the flower blushes were also blown over. When he was about to study the huge box carefully—remembered to stepping the gift that all over the ground and tiled floor of course—that horrible thing happened…
"KYAAAA!!! HAPPY SWEET SIXTEEN BIRTHDAY, SASUKE-KUN!!!"
The top of the box burst out at least seven almost naked sexy girls, jumped off and landed in front of Sasuke. Then the box magically blown into confetti pieces, revealing the rest of girls in tight thongs (what?!) and performing a very erotic dance in front of their dearest Sasuke-kun. Some of the girls even glomped him and 'accidentally' brushed their… err… 'water balloon' against the Uchiha's face. (2)
This sure attracted a lot of attention. People in the neighborhoods began to crowd the street in front of Uchiha Mansion. Some of them cheered the strip dancers, encouraging them to take off their clothes (like they have any clothes to wear from the start… O.o). The sky was like full of colorful ribbon and glittering confetti, some weird but sounded happy music was played in the background. The fan girls were suddenly like popped out from no where, in the other words, the fan girls are back!
Sasuke stood there, frozen. His legs were like fixed on the ground and unmovable. His face was very very pale, and ready to throw up every time soon. If he was less than a shinobi, he might have fainted on the spot with foaming mouth, then and there. What kept him still alive and conscious was his pride as an Uchiha. Uchiha wouldn't faint even all the people on the street was naked and doing a very erotic strip dance… so his should be nothing…
No… this is nothing…
Eyes still staring at the dancing naked body, as if they were a bunch of horrible ugly monsters with additional growing heads, hands, and tentacles…— because Sasuke swore that something was brushing from his heels to his neck with a very wicked speed.
No… this is nothing…
He thought he was scared for life, to see the most ugliest thing in this world was dancing right in front of his house, and right on his dooms day of the year. Girls' bodies are just eww!!
I will survive this… I will definitely survive thi—… naked boobs brushed his face.
BLAM!! The front door was closed.
An awkward silence…
Tick… tick… tick…
"Aaaaaaaaawwwwwwwww…!! Sasuke-kun is so shyyyyyyyyyyyy… (insert heart symbol here)…" the strip dancers started to giggle and continued their dancing scene.
'Shy' , your head!!! (3)
The girls annoying noise began to seep through the door. The moaning, the breathing, the screeching nails… AGH!! The whole horror you could get from a girl!! (A/N: Hey! I am a girl !!)
Sasuke slid down, backing the front door, sitting there, can't move with jelly knees.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. A. Dead. Man.
Yes, Sasuke-kun is soooo dead.
He silently prayed to God, hoping Naruto, the blond angel, would forgive him for being unfaithful.
The next day, the rumor spreading in its maximum speed, even Tsunade laughing her ass off from the chair, literally.
End of Flashback -------------------------------------
'No, no, hopefully there's no THAT kind of box again! Oh, God, please pity me!' Sasuke squeezed his eyes shut. No longer after that, he dared to peek from the key hole. There was orange.
'Huh? Now it's orange?'
Orange and black, moving.
'Now that looks familiar… Where has I seen it before?'
Bright blue eye peeked back through the key hole.
Unknown to himself, Sasuke gasped, and blush began to creep slowly to his pale face.
'Did Naruto strip dance this year?'
"Oi, Sasuke!" the jutsu has been taken off.
"… …!" 'Oh my God! He's coming on my birthday!' (blush)(blush)
"Teme, I know you're there! So open this damn door and come out!"
"… No…" 'AGH! Damn blush! Why at the time like this—…
"Damn it, Sasuke! Don't be such ungrateful bastard! We've cleaned it all, so just come out from your shell, you sissy!"
SLAM!! The door slammed open, revealed a still blushing yet angry young Uchiha.
"I'm not a sissy, dead last!" was the harsh reply.
He saw Naruto, Sakura, and Kakashi at his front door.
"Huh?" he noticed 'something' has gone. He looked down to his feet, then to the others feet, nothing. Where did those things go?
"Don't worry, we've moved those present to somewhere else, to the Academy, so the children could enjoy the presents, too." Sakura said, she looked tired and a bit sweaty on her face, but smiled of satisfaction.
Naruto looked a bit tired, too, and placed one hand on his hip.
"You're lucky there are no strip dancers again this year." Naruto half grinned.
"It's Kakashi-sensei's idea to move them to Academy." Sakura pointed at Kakashi with her thumb. Kakashi just waved a hand, as saying it's not a big deal.
Sasuke almost blurted out that some gift might contain adult stuff, like condom, sex toys, adult magazine, or human-sized doll (A/N: Yes, that one, not-for-anatomy-lesson one).
"Maa, maa, don't mind it! I know how scary the strip dancers are (shudder)… getting rid them from my innocent student was one of my duty, too, you know!"
It was not a secret that Kakashi lived together with Iruka. They often saw Kakashi walked Iruka home, and late for the next morning. His hands must be very busy at the night before… very (running fingers on hair)… very (hands wandering south) busy…
Sasuke glared at the title "innocent student". He is already a Jounin, damnit! And today should be his first mission! His first glorious mission!
Kakashi noticed this glare, and change the topic, before he get killed on the spot.
"Since it's my student's birthday, why don't we go to BBQ restaurant and have some nice lunch? It's my treat!" Kakashi grinned behind his mask.
Naruto jumped and threw his fist on air.
"Yay! BBQ for today! Kakashi-sensei, you're the best!"
Sakura threw both hands on the air, waved energetically.
"Great! It's not everyday Kakashi-sensei would treat us! Let's go!"
The birthday boy looked at his two teammates and sensei. Well, at least he could walk safely around Konoha with this three of them around. Those three are fan girls' super repeller!
"Hn. Better not eats like Chouji, or you'll turn out a pig tomorrow morning." Sasuke sneered, remembered how Naruto ate last night. They began walking to the said BBQ restaurant, the one which Shikamaru's team often stopped by.
"Hey, hey! I don't eat that lot!" said Naruto. Naruto eyed the whole Sasuke's body. This made Sasuke a bit uncomfortable. Sakura giggled secretly. "You should eat some more, too, you know! You look slimmer than the last day I saw you!" Naruto then brushed Sasuke's cheek with the back of his hand. Sasuke blushed and glared at the contact. Sakura tried hard to hide her giggle. "You also looked paler. You really should eat more meat, not just tomatoes-crap!"
"Ramen is what called a crap!" Sasuke retorted.
Kakashi looked over his shoulder, finding a giggling Sakura, a grinning Naruto, and a pink-glaring Sasuke. Maa, they sure have grown in an interesting way!
(1) Yes, I know singing birthday card and chocolate frog only available in Harry Potter. But I've seen some fics that Naruto X HarryPotter crossover, so the idea stuck there, if I didn't get it out even in a single small form, I'll be look like has just eaten something bitter and sour, so there! And … I think I've warned you that this fic could make you suffer of stupidity… confused yet? Oh, that would mean that you must thanks God becoz you're still normal… heh! XD
(2) Ahh… actually I want to describe it like how Matsumoto glomps Hitsugaya-taisho (with her breast LOL!!) and then asked "Guess who!". When my bro read that part, he laughing his ass off, but he strongly refuse that kind of treatment, because that's scary. Both chars are from Bleach.
I really have no idea how to translate this into English. Is the phrase "Your mom" also has the same meaning?
Ok, so the point of this chapter is… some minor change on Sasuke's behavior, means that the jutsu that hit him has started to work right on his birthday. Maybe it's not clear enough, but in later chapter it will be shown how much Sasuke has changed.
Oh, and please leave a review. Thanks for reading :)